the best songs ever
The Real Slim Shady
May I have your attention please?
May I have your attention please?
Will the real Slim Shady please stand up?
I repeat, will the real Slim Shady please stand up?
We're gonna have a problem here..
Y'all act like you never seen a white person before
Jaws all on the floor like Pam, like Tommy just burst in the door
and started whoopin her a** worse than before
they first were divorce, throwin her over furniture (Ahh!)
It's the return of the... "Ah, wait, no way, you're kidding,
he didn't just say what I think he did, did he?"
And Dr. Dre said... nothing you idiots!
Dr. Dre's dead, he's locked in my basement! (Ha-ha!)
Feminist women love Eminem {*vocal turntable:
chigga chigga chigga*} "Slim Shady, I'm sick of him
Look at him, walkin around grabbin his you-know-what
Flippin the you-know-who," "Yeah, but he's so cute though!"
Yeah, I probably got a couple of screws up in my head loose
But no worse, than what's goin on in your parents' bedrooms
Sometimes, I wanna get on TV and just let loose, but can't
but it's cool for Tom Green to hump a dead moose
"My bum is on your lips, my bum is on your lips"
And if I'm lucky, you might just give it a little kiss
And that's the message that we deliver to little kids
And expect them not to know what a woman's clitoris is
Of course they gonna know what intercourse is
By the time they hit fourth grade
They got the Discovery Channel don't they?
"We ain't nothing but mammals.." Well, some of us cannibals
who cut other people open like cantaloupes {*SLURP*}
But if we can hump dead animals and antelopes
then there's no reason that a man and another man can't elope
{*EWWW!*} But if you feel like I feel, I got the antidote
Women wave your pantyhose, sing the chorus and it goes
Chorus: Eminem (repeat 2X)
I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up,
please stand up, please stand up?
[Eminem]
Will Smith don't gotta cuss in his raps to sell his records;
well I do, so ******** him and ******** you too!
You think I give a damn about a Grammy?
Half of you critics can't even stomach me, let alone stand me
"But Slim, what if you win, wouldn't it be weird?"
Why? So you guys could just lie to get me here?
So you can, sit me here next to Britney Spears?
s**t, Christina Aguilera better switch me chairs
so I can sit next to Carson Daly and Fred Durst
and hear 'em argue over who she gave head to first
You little b***h, put me on blast on MTV
"Yeah, he's cute, but I think he's married to Kim, hee-hee!"
I should download her audio on MP3
and show the whole world how you gave Eminem VD {*AHHH!*}
I'm sick of you little girl and boy groups, all you do is annoy me
so I have been sent here to destroy you {*bzzzt*}
And there's a million of us just like me
who cuss like me; who just don't give a ******** like me
who dress like me; walk, talk and act like me
and just might be the next best thing but not quite me!
Chorus
[Eminem]
I'm like a head trip to listen to, cause I'm only givin you
things you joke about with your friends inside your living room
The only difference is I got the balls to say it
in front of y'all and I don't gotta be false or sugarcoated at all
I just get on the mic and spit it
and whether you like to admit it {*ERR*} I just s**t it
better than ninety percent of you rappers out can
Then you wonder how can kids eat up these albums like valiums
It's funny; cause at the rate I'm goin when I'm thirty
I'll be the only person in the nursin home flirting
Pinchin nurses asses when I'm jackin off with Jergens
And I'm jerkin but this whole bag of Viagra isn't working
And every single person is a Slim Shady lurkin
He could be workin at Burger King, spittin on your onion rings
{*HACH*} Or in the parkin lot, circling
Screaming "I don't give a ********!"
with his windows down and his system up
So, will the real Shady please stand up?
And put one of those fingers on each hand up?
And be proud to be outta your mind and outta control
and one more time, loud as you can, how does it go?
Chorus 2X
[Eminem]
Ha ha
Guess there's a Slim Shady in all of us
******** it, let's all stand up
Just Lose It
Okay..
Guess who's back... back again
Shady's back, tell a friend
Now everyone report to the dance floor
To the dance floor, to the dance floor
Now everyone report to the dance floor
Alright stop... pajama time
[Verse 1]
Come here little kiddies, on my lap
Guess who's back with a brand new rap
And I don't mean rap as in a new case
Of child investigation accusation
" Aah aah aah aah aah"
No worries, pappa's got a brand new bag of toys
What else could I possibly do to make noise
I'd done touched on everything but little boys
And that's not a stab at Michael
That's just a metaphor, I'm just psycho
I go a little bit crazy sometimes
I get a little bit out of control with my rhymes
Good God, dip, do a little slide
Bend down, touch your toes and just glide
Up the center of the dance floor
Like T.P. for my bung hole
And it's cool if you let one go
Nobody's gonna know, who'd hear it
Give a little "poot poot" it's okay (Fart Sound)
Oops my CD just skipped
And everyone just heard you let one rip
{*Chorus*}
Now I'm gonna make you dance
It's your chance, yeah boy shake that a**
Whoops! I mean girl... girl, girl, girl
" Girl you know you're my world"
Alright now lose it
" Aah aah aah aah aah"
Just lose it
" Aah aah aah aah aah"
Go crazy
" Aah aah aah aah aah"
Oh baby
" Aah aah"
Oh baby baby
" Aah aah"
[Verse 2]
{Sung}
It's Friday and it's my day
Just to party all the way to Sunday
Maybe 'til Monday, I dunno what day
Everday's just a holiday
Cruisin' on the freeway, feelin' kinda breezy
Get the top down, let my hair blow
I dunno where I'm goin', all I know is when I get there
Someone's gonna "touch my body"
{Rap}
Excuse me miss, I don't mean to sound like a jerk
But I'm feelin' just a little stressed out from work
Could you punch me in the stomach and pull my hair
Spit on me, maybe gauge my eyes out, "ewww"
Now what's your name girl, what's your sign?
[Dr Dre: "Man you must be up out your mind"]
Dre "aah aah", beer goggles,blind
I'm just trying to unwind, now I'm...
{*Chorus*}
Now I'm gonna make you dance
It's your chance, yeah boy shake that a**
Whoops! I mean girl... girl, girl, girl
" Girl you know you're my world"
Alright now lose it
" Aah aah aah aah aah"
Just lose it
" Aah aah aah aah aah"
Go crazy
" Aah aah aah aah aah"
Oh baby
" Aah aah"
Oh baby baby
" Aah aah"
[Verse 3]
{Sung}
It's Tuesday and I'm locked up
I'm in jail, I don't know what happened
They say I was running butt naked
Down the street screaming
" Aah aah aah aah aah"
Well I'm sorry, I don't remember
All I know is this much, I'm not guilty
They said save it boy, we've got you on tape
yelling at an old lady to "touch my body"
{Rap}
Now this is the part where the rap breaks down
It's real intense, no one makes a sound
Everything looks like it's 8 Mile now
The beat comes back and everybody loses theirselves
Now snap back to reality, look it's B. Rabbit he
Oh you signed me up to battle? I'm a grown man
Chubba chubba chubba chubba chubba chubba chubba chubba
I don't have any lines to go right here so
Chubba tubba tell me fellas (what?), fellas (what?)
Grab your left, make your right one jealous (what?)
Black girls, white girls, skinny girls, fat girls
Tall girls, small girls, I'm calling all girls
Everyone report to the dance floor
It's your chance for, a little romance or
Butt squeezin', it's the season
Just go "aah aah aah aah", it's so appeasing
{*Chorus*}
Now I'm gonna make you dance
It's your chance, yeah boy shake that a**
Whoops! I mean girl... girl, girl, girl
" Girl you know you're my world"
Alright now lose it
" Aah aah aah aah aah"
Just lose it
" Aah aah aah aah aah"
Go crazy
" Aah aah aah aah aah"
Oh baby
" Aah aah"
Oh baby baby
" Aah aah"
{Outro:}
Mmhmm touch my body
Mmhmm touch my body
Ooh boy just touch my body
I mean girl just touch my body
My Name Is
Chorus: repeat 2X
Hi! My name is.. (what?) My name is.. (who?)
My name is.. {scratches} Slim Shady
Hi! My name is.. (huh?) My name is.. (what?)
My name is.. {scratches} Slim Shady
Ahem.. excuse me!
Can I have the attention of the class
for one second?
[Eminem]
Hi kids! Do you like violence? (Yeah yeah yeah!)
Wanna see me stick Nine Inch Nails through each one of my eyelids? (Uh-huh!)
Wanna copy me and do exactly like I did? (Yeah yeah!)
Try 'cid and get ******** up worse that my life is? (Huh?)
My brain's dead weight, I'm tryin to get my head straight
but I can't figure out which Spice Girl I want to impregnate (Ummmm..)
And Dr. Dre said, "Slim Shady you a basehead!"
Uh-uhhh! "So why's your face red? Man you wasted!"
Well since age twelve, I've felt like I'm someone else
Cause I hung my original self from the top bunk with a belt
Got pissed off and ripped Pamela Lee's tits off
And smacked her so hard I knocked her clothes backwards like Kris Kross
I smoke a fat pound of grass and fall on my a**
faster than a fat b***h who sat down too fast
C'mere slut! (Shady, wait a minute, that's my girl dog!)
I don't give a ********, God sent me to piss the world off!
Chorus
[Eminem]
My English teacher wanted to flunk me in junior high
Thanks a lot, next semester I'll be thirty-five
I smacked him in his face with an eraser, chased him with a stapler
and stapled his nuts to a stack of papers (Owwwwwwww!)
Walked in the strip club, had my jacket zipped up
Flashed the bartender, then stuck my d**k in the tip cup
Extraterrestrial, runnin over pedestrians
in a spaceship while they screamin at me: "LET'S JUST BE FRIENDS!"
Ninety-nine percent of my life I was lied to
I just found out my mom does more dope than I do (Damn!)
I told her I'd grow up to be a famous rapper
Make a record about doin drugs and name it after her (Oh thank you!)
You know you blew up when the women rush your stands
and try to touch your hands like some screamin Usher fans (Aaahhhhhh!)
This guy at White Castle asked for my autograph
(Dude, can I get your autograph?)
So I signed it: 'Dear Dave, thanks for the support, a*****e!'
Chorus
[Eminem]
Stop the tape! This kid needs to be locked away! (Get him!)
Dr. Dre, don't just stand there, OPERATE!
I'm not ready to leave, it's too scary to die (******** that!)
I'll have to be carried inside the cemetery and buried alive
(Huh yup!) Am I comin or goin? I can barely decide
I just drank a fifth of vodka -- dare me to drive? (Go ahead)
All my life I was very deprived
I ain't had a woman in years, and my palms are too hairy to hide
(Whoops!) Clothes ripped like the Incredible Hulk (hachhh-too)
I spit when I talk, I'll ******** anything that walks (C'mere)
When I was little I used to get so hungry I would throw fits
HOW YOU GONNA BREAST FEED ME MOM? (WAH!)
YOU AIN'T GOT NO TITS! (WAHHH!)
I lay awake and strap myself in the bed
Put a bulleproof vest on and shoot myself in the head (BANG!)
I'm steamin mad (Arrrggghhh!)
And by the way when you see my dad? (Yeah?)
Tell him that I slit his throat, in this dream I had
Chorus
