➸ ➸ The Rabbit Way ❂ Art Critiques [OPEN]

[Ciwish]

gaia_spoons ■■■■■ ■


Wow! I love this idea of having constructive crit here. Most of my works are still in progress so I'll hold off posting something for now (unless you're willing to just peek through tumblr) but I hope its ok if I just hang around first redface

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[LettuceJamming]

viai-artworks

Since I think being able to observe why some things look off or the way they do is important, I'll discuss a few of the things you mentioned with you ehe ;; Ok really though I just like talking about art with people it's fun--

I guess the first thing I should mention is, for the group one and the skeleton one, the lines are showing because they were originally pencil sketches. Conversely, in the watery one and the black and white one, there aren't any lines because I did them entirely in SAI, where I usually do things in mostly one layer ;; Does that change your perspective on things in any way? I'm curious about why you prefer seeing the lines, too!

B&W

I'd also like to know where you think the folds are off in the black and white one. Leather is a thick, stiff fabric so it really doesn't fold unless you're pinching (e.g. the armpit) or folding (e.g. the elbow) it. I'm not saying I did it right, just telling you what my thought process was and asking what you think I could do better ;;
About the texture of the jacket, that was a decision I struggled over. You can actually see quite a lot of my strokes on other parts of the piece, too, but it shows more in the jacket cos it's the darkest part of the image. I was trying to keep the texture of everything in the image, and leather was the hardest to try and figure out, both in terms of texture and lighting. Would you have any suggestions for painting a leathery texture? Wlop's piece indeed uses brushstrokes well, but her lady's top has the same issue that mine had--it's hard to read what texture she was going for.
I had the same problem with the jaw, in that I wanted it to match having the mouth agape, but I've never worked much with expressions in profile (that was one of the main points in making this one; I wanted to practice profile and working with more contrast). I'm really not sure where to draw the jawline to fix it, so this would be a great time for a quick, easy redline if you could do one ;;
The note about the wispiness also throws me a bit, since I drew the front and back at the same time in the same manner. The only thing I can think of is that the back is smaller and thinner, so the same elements may not be as noticeable. The blobby parts near the chest were supposed to represent "impact" but would you recommend using a softer brush for the rest, or...?

Skeleton

I'm actually surprised you didn't mention much about the skeleton piece, since it's the one that makes me cringe the most to look back at haha. And it's actually the shading that makes me feel that way the most! The folds a little, too ehe ;; I think a lot of how I treated the shading made it seem very flat, especially everything below her waist. The skirt especially lacks any sort of roundness to its volume sob
It's not like I totally hate the piece now or anything-- The colors were very fun to work with, in terms of incorporating the colors in the subject to the bg, and keeping it cohesive even though I used soooo many colors in it. I'd say I handled color cohesiveness in this one better than in the underwater one, though I was going for two different looks in each ;;

Group

I'll just be upfront and say I didn't use the magic wand to color the group one. I took the sketches and painted the colors for the characters directly on top of that. I'd wanted to keep the integrity of the lines so I was trying to avoid them ;; I think my fix ended up being to just keep the sketches saved separately, not worry about the lines too much and just reapply the lines in a higher contrast multiply layer. Because I hadn't thought of doing it that way ahead of time though, some of the lines were too weak with the extra contrast and I had to avoid the lines in the original anyway (mostly in the person on the very left, which is why his looks the sloppiest).
I don't think any color went outside the lines though. I had fun with reflected light, so maybe it came off a bit too strong in some points, is all I can think of. All of the characters were in separate sketches on separate layers and I colored directly on those sketches in those layers, is why I don't think I had color bleed.
The worst part, color-wise, that I think made you believe I used the magic wand, is the very outside edge of the characters, where they meet the bg. I painted the bg on it's own layer underneath them, so the parts where I hadn't cleaned around them as well and hadn't noticed cos the sketch had a white bg suddenly looked really bad and messy lolsob
I should also mention that SAI doesn't have dodge or burn ;; I really wanted those parts to have sharp/strong/defined edges while still showing some of the drawing underneath, so I struggled with how to handle it. They didn't turn out very well, but I didn't have a better solution at the time ;; I'd take you up on your suggestion, but Paroro did that with watercolor pencil and it compromises both premises I was trying to work in ;;
I don't recall anymore, but I believe the stars were handled that way to make the energy not feel out of place so much haha And since they weren't in the bg originally (I couldn't make one ahead of time cos this was originally five different sketches) I couldn't just have pencil outlines around them ;; In your opinion, would outlining the stars in the same manner as the subjects make them stand out more or less from the bg? Would the energy also feel less out of place with a pencil outline, without making it seem less ethereal?

Panel

Welll I wouldn't call it a quick sketch per se lolsob My friend was entering a competition where you made one square manga-style panel (even though most of the winners just submitted anime-style art that may or may not have even been square), so I told her I'd make one too, to encourage her. The things I'd ask about would be posing, composition of the panel, if the bg does or does not work with the subjects, dialogue placement, amount/placement of shading, etc

Underwater

I'm a big fan of doing one layer paints, and that's pretty much what the underwater one was ehe. The color was definitely my main focus here, so I'm glad you like how that part turned out! The bubbles were fun, so I'm happy they didn't detract much. Again, I'd take your advice about Wlop's piece, but her style is very different from mine. I've been tending closer to a cartoony style, where I'm trying to make hair that's thick/blobby and still has noticeable volume ;; So as long as the flow and such of the hair makes sense, I'd prefer it this way, I think
I'm not sure if you'd change your tune about this one if you saw it in full size (as in, I think you'd have more to complain about haha)

I was asking for this mostly so you'd have a crit to show to maybe get some traffic flow through here ehe ;; It was insightful, though!

[viai-artworks]

Ciwish

Thank you! Stay for as long as you want heart I'll be glad to check out your work once you've finished them.

[C e r u l e a n]

Hi, this one is finished and up, but I'd love to know what I can do to improve it. It's been up for awhile and I recently noticed a few things I should edit, but I won't mention it here in case it may influence your opinion. I'll post it after you've done yours.

[viai-artworks]

LettuceJamming

Ahh well I kinda figured they were pencil sketches you scanned then worked on. Then for the SAI ones, I either thought you painted over them, or there were no lines to begin with. Nonetheless, I still prefer the ones with pencil sketches because, from the samples you've shown, it matches better with your style and it looks more polished. Exception is for the underwater one, because I think it's lovely. xD


B&W

Even though leather is stiff there should be creases/folds seen on it. And since the character isn't in a relaxed position, there are folds where he moves. Imagine a fold created when he bends his waist, then returns upright. Leather would still retain a faint fold from that movement even if it's returned to its original position. I'm curious if you used references in doing the jacket?


For wlop, she wins in making the whole piece flow together. No brushstrokes were distracting. Even if I can't figure out what texture the lady's top is, it didn't bother me as much. For painting a leathery texture, I suggest studying or using actual leather jackets as reference. They tend to have strong and wavy highlights.

here's a redline of the jaw and my revision

here's what I did with the jacket

I think it's the swirl at the end in the front is what's bothering me most. Notice where it's pointed at the ends? Something like this

I just use one brush for my entire drawing (hard round), so I have no idea about the kind of brush you should use xD

Skeleton

Really? I like it haha. For the skirt, I didn't imagine it to be round. More like.. just cloth flowing straight down xD which is good because that is how some skirts are. But yeah, I think the middle part should be shaded since in that posture, it would be more sunken than the rest. I liked this one because everything was uniform, and nothing was distracting me from it. You did a good job in NOT making it look cluttered even though there are a lot of elements to it.

Group

Ahh [this] was the reason I thought you used the magic wand tool. Now I understand it's the method of placing your bg is what caused it. I suggest starting with the background first, or even just the base color you want, then work from there, to avoid these mishaps. Or you can set the sketch to multiply then edit it until only the lines are showing, then color under it so you can see clearly where the extent of the outlines are and there aren't gaps left directly under the lines. I think by coloring over the line, and then re-applying it on top made you forget that you colored up to the extent of the sketch (where some parts are not cleaned thoroughly, so there are still the texture of paper outside the line). Thus the outline of the sketch didn't match the outline of your color. By outline, I mean the edges of the characters.

I see. Well try making the edges more pointed, instead of round like Paroro's. I showed you Paroro's piece because it also had sharp edges, with a few softer shading around it, same as yours. The execution may be different, but the outcome can look the same. You can skip the pencil sketch for the energy, but try to get a better shape.

For the stars, I do think it will at least make it look like part of the drawing, instead of it being slapped on at the last minute. If you want it to stand out less, you can blur the edges, or give that soft shading around it. Like this:

The stars don't seem as out of placed.

Panel

Ahh. Alright. For starters, the girl's right hand is off. I rarely see girls have their arms in that position. The pose would be stronger if you had the hand on her waist, instead of thigh. The bg doesn't seem to match the perspective. It seems that the viewer is standing on the same place as them, but the bg is too tilted. The way you drew the furniture and bg made it seems like the viewer is looking down at them, but when you look at the characters, they are directly parallel to my line of sight.

You did the monotone thing here well. Clean the words in the dialogue. The o's and a's look like u's.

Underwater

Ahh if you're going for thick blobby hair than that's fine. Looking at a bigger version doesn't change my opinion about it much xD Maybe treat the hair as a collective mass, instead of thick strings? It might turn out better, and still keep the cartoony effect you were going for

hehe thanks! I don't mind. It helps me reflect on my own work as well.

[Zyephe]

viai-artworks

I know that feeling. We just upgraded our internet plan so I'm quite happy with it >u<

I'm fine. I've been drawing a lot and finishing commissions smile

WHAT? SO LUCKY. I want to upgrade mine.. But it's so expensive ; x ;

Dude, some day I'm going to get some art of yours. AND SHOW IT OFF ON MY SIG.

[viai-artworks]

C e r u l e a n

Hi! I love your coloring style. It's soft and clean. You did a nice job shading the face and clothes. I especially like the way you did the eyes.

First thing that bothered me are her arms. I can't see where the arms are. It's either the way you placed the hair made the arms vanish, or that's just the way you intended her clothes to be. If the top doesn't have sleeves and just envelopes the entire body, I suggest having it flow outwards, instead of inwards.

Secondly, the way your hair flows. Generally, the hair flows as if a bit of wind is flowing through it from the left, but at the upper right side, it flows upward, suggesting a stronger wind, or as if someone is holding it up out of frame. Perhaps if you had the hair on the left side move more towards the right, it would seem more consistent. It's generally a good idea to decide the direction of the wind and how strong it is, so that your hair flow would follow accordingly. Also, it's always good to study how hair flows from reference pictures or by observing from real life.

Also, the hairline usually has darker shading then the area surrounding it since it flows inwards, even if the scalp is showing. Also, the hairline would have been tilted to the right, not left, at that perspective, if it was parted evenly at the middle.

Try making the shading on the side of the nose away from the light darker then the rest. Having it at the same value makes it seem flat, instead of rounded or pointy. Also, make the left side (my left) of the nostril protrude a bit more to distinguish it from the bulb of the nose.

Lastly, your watermark is distracting. Try making it a little more subtle. Like having a different color or smaller font. Or just having it at one corner, instead of tracing the outline of your character. Check out [LanWu's] gallery to see how you can place your watermarks discreetly.

I hope this helps. <3

[viai-artworks]

Zyephe

WHAT? SO LUCKY. I want to upgrade mine.. But it's so expensive ; x ;

Dude, some day I'm going to get some art of yours. AND SHOW IT OFF ON MY SIG.

So worth it though! I stream anime like crazy now. Non-stop, and no more waiting for it to finish buffering. whee I started torrenting too, which I never would have done before because finishing one torrent would take daaaaaaaaaays. *_* Now it's just a matter of hours.

I guess it's good and bad because now I have more ways to procrastinate //shot

someday emotion_dowant When either you're able to do RLC, or when I'm back for gg commissions again. xD

[Zyephe]

viai-artworks

Zyephe

WHAT? SO LUCKY. I want to upgrade mine.. But it's so expensive ; x ;

Dude, some day I'm going to get some art of yours. AND SHOW IT OFF ON MY SIG.

So worth it though! I stream anime like crazy now. Non-stop, and no more waiting for it to finish buffering. whee I started torrenting too, which I never would have done before because finishing one torrent would take daaaaaaaaaays. *_* Now it's just a matter of hours.

I guess it's good and bad because now I have more ways to procrastinate //shot

someday emotion_dowant When either you're able to do RLC, or when I'm back for gg commissions again. xD

WHAT? NO BUFFERING? I feel cheated.
I have to leave the anime page loading all day for it to work xD

Man, someday. Do you accept dA points?

[viai-artworks]

Zyephe

WHAT? NO BUFFERING? I feel cheated.
I have to leave the anime page loading all day for it to work xD

Man, someday. Do you accept dA points?

YEAH MAN. Just hit play, then sit back and watch dramallama

I used to do that. I loaded a bunch of anime, then did something else, then come back later in the day to watch xD

I do not. I don't have much use for it sad

[Zyephe]

viai-artworks

Zyephe

WHAT? NO BUFFERING? I feel cheated.
I have to leave the anime page loading all day for it to work xD

Man, someday. Do you accept dA points?

YEAH MAN. Just hit play, then sit back and watch dramallama

I used to do that. I loaded a bunch of anime, then did something else, then come back later in the day to watch xD

I do not. I don't have much use for it sad

AHHHH, CAN I LIVE IN YOUR CLOSET AND USE YOUR WI-FI.
Yeah, then my computer would fall asleep and allow me to watch only half the episode xD

emotion_donotwant
I'll just stalk you closely here on gaia OTL.

[Winged Trickster]

Seeking pricing/advicing (and some nifty tuts for hair highlights)

Anthro Chibi

Choco Xwee

Sekiru-style Chibi

Doot-style Chibi

Pretty rushed and confused full-body (with lazy shield coloring)

Doot-style Chibi, attempt 1 (What would you have done differently?)

Lineless bust (it's a bit dusty, if it were newer the lines would definitely be cleaner)

Also a rainbow Kyrii for your viewing pleasure

Shameless repost from another thread. Have at thee~

[viai-artworks]

Zyephe

AHHHH, CAN I LIVE IN YOUR CLOSET AND USE YOUR WI-FI.
Yeah, then my computer would fall asleep and allow me to watch only half the episode xD

emotion_donotwant
I'll just stalk you closely here on gaia OTL.

You wouldn't fit in my closet xd Unless you were the size of a 4 year old kid... are you? eek

lol that sucks. I hate it when I thought the anime has fully loaded.. then it crashes halfway because it says it didn't load properly. crying

What would you have me draw by the way? I was always wondering.

[viai-artworks]

Winged Trickster

Alright let's start with your anthro chibi.

Pay attention to neatness. This isn't a sketchy chibi, so cleanliness would do this style good. For starters, use cleaner line. I can see parts where the lines are wobbly. Practice a lot so that you can get smoother lines next time. At first it took me like... 20 strokes and ctrl+z to get a smooth enough line. It's ok to have varying line widths in a drawing, but try to get one stoke as uniform in width as you can (avoid those bumps and irregularities in your lines). I can also see where you color goes over the lines. Clean those up as well. Shading; same thing. In addition, I suggest having hard edged shading, instead of round. Also, if you're going for gradation in shading the hair, I suggest coloring it in one shade first in a seperate layer, then lock the transparent pixels of that layer with the shade, then use a soft round brush (or whatever brush is convenient as long as you know proper blending) to add the gradation

[ZenithOmocha] <-- there. See how clean and crisp her lines and shading are?

Choco xwee and sekiru style

First of all, choose an outline color that would match your color palette. The pink outline for choco is a bit too much and uneasy for my eyes. Also, for hatch-shading, the hatch lines should communicate the direction and orientation of the plane they're describing (Chris Solarski "Drawing Basics and Video Game Art." For now, the shading you used conveys an indefinite light source. Choose your light source, and only shade parts where the light won't reach. so that there's more depth to your drawing. Also, use the soft brush and smudge tool sparingly. If you use it in large amounts, the drawing will look very amateur-ish unless you've practiced it well enough to know how to make it look good. It can be used as accents, but never as the main shading.

Doot style

Overall the piece is very light and it isn't necessarily a bad thing. Your lines have gotten better, but there are still wobbly bits here and there. Coloring has improved, but again, use the soft round brush for accents, and not shading. Also, learn where to place highlights, especially on hair. Find your source of light and work from there. Light usually hit areas where there's a bulge, so use that as a guide. And avoid adding too much detail on the highlights. Try searching at DA for highlighting tutorials. There are a bunch of ways, so find one that would suit your style.

rushed fullbody

The shading on the jacket has too much detail compared to the rest of the drawing. Remember that the amount of shading and detail should only vary depending on distance. The farther the object is, the less detail it has. In this case, since the body is at the same distance all throughout, there should be uniformity in shading. Also, there are parts where the colors went over the lines again. Also, you used a hard black in shading at some areas. Since you've used this, try shading parts of the top in hard black as well, even those going across the body, just to help in uniformity.

attempt 1

Again, cleaner lines. This would've looked much better if the lines were clean and crisp. Shading was fairly done well. For the hair highlights, I would've just done one ring, instead of two, and just tiny highlights at other areas that bulge

lineless

it works. I like the look of this piece. You have a nice color palette going on here. It just feels incomplete because of the lack of shading in the hair. Shade the hair in the same manner as the face, and it might turn out more polished.

Hope this helps smile

[Lukewarm City]

Hey! Thanks for making this thread; it's nice seeing so many artists offering critiques.

I'm seeking some constructive criticism of this and this. The first sample is coloured line art and the latter is a painting, so advice as to style would be appreciated as well.

I also critique, and I'd love to give you some feedback on your work too. Do you mind if I write directly on the image/do a few small red lines?
I shall be back~