Breaking pie news! The first three low-achieving contenders have been knocked out of the Pie Hard running today:
Evil Timmy (AKA T-Bone) failed to translate his Smooth Jazz Countdown fame into Pie Hard popularity-- perhaps everyone felt a little uncomfortable stuffing a child with pies (especially an evil one).
Vaguely sleazy casino dealer Russell Ace likewise had a hard time generating heat on the pie court; despite making every effort to cheat his way to victory, he'll be among the first to go.
Movie star Ron Bruise seemed unable to keep up with the rigorous physical demands of the contest, bowing out early due to "prior commitments." Inside sources claim that Bruise's agents mercifully pulled him from the event early due to a total lack of fan interest.
No word yet on the losers' plans; this reporter can only speculate that they'll be returning shame-faced to their hovels to lick their blueberry-smeared wounds. Watch this thread for further elimination updates!
With the final 6 just one round away, the lower-scoring contestants are now hanging on by a thread! Three more pie lovers fell today:
Sam's hearty appetite pushed her to great heights, but she just couldn't surpass the stomachs of the elks, grunnies and undead abominations that remain in the lead.
This last-minute elimination must hurt Liam, who isn't accustomed to losing athletic competitions. This reporter speculates that he'll ensconce himself in his shop for a few months and turn that pie into lean muscle by doing about 36 million crunches.
Farewell, Agatha! You packed down pies with grace and elegance, but in the end, pie-eating contests aren't won by the dignified.
Time for one last big push: the qualifying round ends tomorrow, so there are just two more contestants to cut!