THE OFFICIAL MONOLOGUE THREAD!

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yes!	42.6%	[ 104 ]
what is this for again?	9.8%	[ 24 ]
yay monologues!	47.5%	[ 116 ]
Total Votes:			[ 244 ]

[ilikehamsters]

I'm trying to start an official monologue thread so people don't have to keep creating new ones. If we get enough traffic, the admin said they would consider making it a sticky.

So post any good monologues here, or any particular requests you need!

[ilikehamsters]

I have a monologue I found on the internet that I want to use for my next audition. Here it is:

Can't Judge a Book By It's Cover

Situation: Two friends are sitting around doing homework. Victoria (seventeen years old) is reacting to what Veronica (seventeen years old) just said about Julie, a popular girl at school. Both girls are in Veronica's living room.

(both girls are sitting at a table, doing their homework) I feel really sorry for Julie. (pause) Do my ears deceive me? Did I just hear Veronica say that she felt sorry for Julie? (pause) I know, I know that is what you said. How could you possibly feel sorry for Julie? Wait, don't tell me. I want to examine the facts myself. (stands up and walks over to another table and grabs a textbook) Now, let's see shall we? Julie Donn, moved to town about three, no four years ago from downtown Toronto. She is the exact replica of a Barbie doll - pretty, slim with one of those personalities to die for. Not much in the brains department though. (laughs, sits down) If she was a real Barbie, I would have to say that she would be Malibu Barbie because she is not smart enough to be the pet doctor one. And you can't forget that breathy voice. (mocking her) Oh darling, I forgot all about it. Can I copy your homework and hand it in? (back to regular tone) Please, give me strength.

(pause) Yeah, I know that what I just said deals with what we just see on the outside. So what is your point? I'm guessing that you want me to dive into that sea of make-up to get to the inner person. Well okay. She is……

(change of tone) Wait, why do you feel sorry for the girl who waltzed into town and stole your boyfriend? The same person who is your lab partner but yet the only work that she does in class is file her fingernails. And don't forget the Jell-O incident where she was carrying a bowl over your head and "accidentally" tipped it and you got to walk around all day with green Jell-O in your hair. I know that you have been working at her house on your science project, but obviously you have been spending too much time over with the princess in her little castle.

(pause) Do I remember what you told me? You mean about her past? (starts to pace) The part about her dad getting fired because he we stealing money, which if you ask me does not make sense because they are old money and were loaded to begin with. Or the part about her mom having a few affairs with high up politicians? Or about her brother being a drug addict and her twenty year old sister marrying an eighty year old man? Is that what you mean? (pauses - just realizing what she just said) Oh. (pause, sits on the couch) I guess I was a little bit insensitive wasn't I? (pause) Okay a lot. I forgot about all of that stuff that she has to deal with, but that is no excuse to be mean to us. (change of tone)Alright, maybe I should be more considerate and consider what she is dealing with before I judge her. Never judge a book by it's cover right? Jeez, I hate it when you point out that I am being insensitive or wrong. (pause) I am not that mean! (throws a pillow at Veronica) But you know who is really mean? A deep dark, I don't want to meet you in a dark abandoned ally kind of mean? Billy. That's right, Billy Vos. Hey, don't give me that look. (pause) Oh, I guess I am doing it again right?


I found it on this web site: http://www.geocities.com/thespian_didi/backup/fmono.html

[Syndactyly]

Hmmm.

Helena from A Midsummer Night's Dream (Shakespearean Monologue)
Very short. And I might have the punctuation wrong. This might even be wrong. It's from memory. xd

Call you me fair? That fair again unsay.
Demetrius loves your fair, O happy fair.
Your eyes are lode stars and your tongue's sweet air,
More tunable than lark to shepherds' ear,
When wheat is green and hawthorn buds appear.
Sickness was catching, O were favor so,
Yours I would catch fair Hermia, 'ere I go.
My ear should catch your voice, my eye your eye.
My tongue should catch your tongue's sweet melody.
Were the world mine, Demetrius being baited,
The rest I'd give to be to you translated.
O show me how and with what art,
You sway the motion of Demetrius' heart.

Mind you, this is like an audition piece. Short, simple, and to the point. Length =/= content! xd

[ilikehamsters]

Bump!

[-total_theatre_freak-]

i am using this part of a VERY long monologue from Phantom of the Opera for a Titanic the musical audition:

I had heard him for three months without seeing him. The first time I heard it, I thought, as you did, that that adorable voice was singing in another room. I went out and looked everywhere; but, as you know, my dressing-room is very much by itself; and I could not find the voice outside my room, whereas it went on steadily inside. And it not only sang, but it spoke to me and answered my questions, like a real man's voice, with this difference, that it was as beautiful as the voice of an angel. I had never got the Angel of Music whom my poor father had promised to send me as soon as he was dead.

I thought that it had finally come, and from that time onward, the voice and I became great friends. It asked leave to give me lessons every day. I agreed and never failed to keep the appointment which it gave me in my dressing-room. You have no idea, though you have heard the voice, of what those lessons were like. We were accompanied by a music which I do not know: it was behind the wall and wonderfully accurate. The voice seemed to understand mine exactly, to know precisely where my father had left off teaching me.

[ilikehamsters]

I love the Phantom monologue!

[-total_theatre_freak-]

ilikehamsters

I love the Phantom monologue!

i do too! the entire thing is SO long though! and i couldn't handle trying to learn ALL of that by Monday! either way all of that is just one minute and it still sounds good like nothing is missing from it kinda thing biggrin

[ilikehamsters]

Bump!

[Nasyki]

While You Were Sleeping
written by Fred Lebow & Daniel Sullivan

Lucy: Okay, there are two things that I remember about my childhood. I just don't remember it being this orange. First, I remember being with my dad. He would get these far off looks in his eyes and he would say, 'life doesn't always turn out the way you planned." I just wish I had realized he was talking about my life. But that never stopped us from taking our adventures together. He would pack up our sometimes working car and tell me amazing stories about strange and exotic lands as we headed off to exciting destinations like Milwaukee. It's amazing how exotic Wisconsin.....isn't But my favorite memories are the stories that he'd tell me about my mom. He would take me to the church where they got married and I'd beg him to tell me more about the ceremony and about my crazy uncle Irwin who fell asleep in the macaroni and cheese, and I'd ask my dad when he knew he truly loved my mom and he'd say, "Lucy, your mother gave me a special gift. She gave me the world." Actually, it was a globe with a light in it but for the romantic that he was, he might have been the world. Well, the first time that I saw him he didn't exactly give me the world. It was a dollar fifty for a train token. I looked forward to it every single day. He started coming to my booth between 8:01 and 8:15 every morning, Monday through Friday. And he was perfect.....my prince charming. We've never actually spoken, but I know someday that we will. I know it. I know that someday I will find a way to introduce myself and that's going to be perfect, just like my prince.

Lucy: I bet you were wondering what I'm doing here in the middle of the night. Well, I thought I should introduce myself. My name is Lucy. Lucy Elenore Moderatz. Umm......I think you should know that your family thinks we're engaged. I've never been engaged before. This is very sudden for me. Umm, what I really came here to tell was that I didn't mean for this to happen. I don't know what to do. If you were awake, I wouldn't be in this mess. Oh God, not that I'm blaming you. I'm sorry. It's just that when I was a kid, I always imagined what I would be like or what I would have when I got older. And you know, it was normal stuff. I'd have a house and a family and things like that. It's not that I'm complaining or anything, because I do have a cat. I have an apartment. I have a sole possession of a remote control. That's very important. It's just that I've never met anybody that I could laugh with. Do you believe in love at first site? I bet you don't. You're probably too sensible for that. Or have you ever seen somebody and you know, that if that person really knew you, they'd dump the perfect model that they were with and realize that you were the one that they wanted to grow old with? Have you ever fallen in love with somebody that you haven't even talked to? Have you ever been so alone that you spend the night confusing a man in a coma?

[Nasyki]

Ten Things I Hate About You
written by Karen McCullah Lutz & Kirsten Smith; adapted from the play by William Shakespeare

Kat: I hate the way you talk to me. And the way you cut your hair. I hate the way you drive my car. I hate it when you stare I hate your big dumb combat boots. And the way you read my mind. I hate you so much it makes me sick-- it even makes me rhyme. I hate the way you're always right. I hate it when you lie. I hate it when you make me laugh -- even worse when you make me cry. I hate it that you're not around. And the fact that you didnt call. But mostly I hate the way I don't hate you - - not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all.

[Nasyki]

The Story of Us
written by Alan Zweibel & Jessie Nelson

Katie Jordan: When I was in college, I had to write this paper....it was for some philosophy class I was taking, on any book that we thought best depicted the way that we viewed the world...and I can remember some people picking books by the great thinkers...Kierkegaard and Plato...some kids chose the Bible...I wrote my paper on "Harold and the Purple Crayon...it's a small book, about a little boy who draws the world the way he wants it to be with his magic crayon, and I just loved that book because it was about everything that I wasn't. But the problem in a marriage, is that if one person is always Harold, drawing the world the way he wants it to be with his magic crayon, the other person has no choice but to draw the world the way that it is. Which is probably why they never wrote a book about Harold's wife.

[Lord Aculard]

I have one that I did use during rehearsals and I got in the play wit it. I just finished the final day of the play last weak. This is from memory. I can't think of the girl's name right now so I'm putting down a random one.

Midlife Crisis:

So, My dad got a motorcycle. A Harley.(Beat) No it's not cool! It's embarrassing. He's totally having a midlife crisis. He puts on the whole outfit. Leather Jacket, Leather Chaps, and boots. He looks like one of those dudes from Hells' Angle. What he really looks like doing that is an idiot. I was walking home with Sara one day and she goes like "Hey isn't that your dad? I think that's your dad." And he pulls up and says "Hey Sara, how do you like my new hog?" (Beat) And he started flirting with her! It was disgusting.

Ya I suppose I'll inherit the thing eventually. Although I totally doubt my mom will even let me ride it. She has a major flip every time he rides it. He doesn't even go anywhere on it. I think he's too chicken to take it to the freeway. He just wants to impress the Neighbors.

I swear I hope I don't get like that when I'm his age. Soon he'll be getting a tattoo that says "Born to be Wild". Why couldn't he do this 20 years ago when he wouldn't look so stupid doing it?!

Note: For anyone that doesn't know, Beat means a change in the voice.

[ilikehamsters]

Bump!

[psstguesswhat]

From Scrubs:
J.D.: Shut up, shut up, shut up and shut up, okay? Who are you people to give me advice about anything? All you do is b***h about your relationships all day long. (to Dr. Cox) And you know what glare all you want Big Dog, okay, because I'm not afraid of you. "Oh no, Jordan's only paying attention to the baby." That must be so hard for Dr. Look-At-Me, isn't it? LOOK-AT-MEEEE. (to Carla and Turk) And you two, you're arguing ever since you got engaged, wow you're probably the first couple that's ever done that EVER. It can't be that you're just scared is it? (to Elliot) And you, you know what, let's just forget for one second that a month ago you told me you couldn't be in a relationship with anyone, because for me, it's actually fun to watch you sabotage a relationship from the outside, it really is. Honestly, the only thing that gives me comfort you guys is while I'm sitting at home staring at the ceiling just wishing that I had someone to talk to, is knowing that none of you idiots realize how lucky you are. (JD storms out)

[G o o g i m s]

The Seagull
Anton Chekhov

Nina is an actress. She has returned after a few years to the home of her ex-boyfriend, (Kostya), a writer. She tells him how she spent the years away from him.

Why do you say you kiss the ground I walk on? I ought to be killed. I'm so tired, Kostya! If I could only rest... rest. I am the seagull... No, that's not it. I'm an actress! It doesn't matter. So he's here, too! It doesn't matter! He didn't believe in the theatre, he laughed at my dreams, and little by little, I stopped believing myself. I lost heart. And always the strains of love, jealousy, constant fear for the child...I became trivial, and commonplace, I acted without thinking or feeling... I didn't know what to do with my hands, I couldn't move properly, or control my voice. You can't imagine what it's like to know you're acting badly! I am a seagull. Do you remember the seagull you shot? You left it at my feet, he came to me and said, "I had an idea. A subject for a short story. A girl, like yourself, lives all her life on the shores of a lake. She loves the lake, like a seagull... But a man comes along, by chance, and, because he has nothing better to do, destroys her..."

What was I talking about, before? I - Yes, about acting. I'm not like that anymore. I'm a real actress now! I act with delight, with rapture. I feel drunk when I'm onstage and think that I am wonderful. Ever since I got here, I've been walking around, walking around and thinking, thinking and even believing that my soul grows stronger every day. Now I see at last, Kostya, that in our kind of work, whether we're writers or actors, the important thing is not fame, or glory, not what I used to dream about, but learning how to endure. I must bear my cross, and have faith. If I have faith, it doesn't hurt so much, and when I think of my calling I'm not afraid of life.

When you see him, don't tell him anything... I do love him, yes, I love him more than ever... "By chance. A subject for a short story."

How sweet it used to be, Kostya! Remember? How bright, and warm, how joyous and pure our lives were! And the feelings we had for each other were like fine, delicate flowers! Do you remember?

http://notmyshoes.net/monologues/
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