Serenity Reed
Jellybean Disaster
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- Posted: Wed, 21 Jul 2010 19:55:56 +0000
Review submitted! I hope it helps, somewhat! D :
Jellybean Disaster
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- Posted: Thu, 22 Jul 2010 08:12:06 +0000
CHAPTER VI: Revelations
The image of Retica’s lifeless eyes were burned into Ellenore’s retinas. His body was lying there, frozen, motionless, dead. The disgusting memory would be forever present in her mind. As she flew down the alleyway, frightened sobs struggled to escape from her throat, which was already bombarded with heavy pants from running. She was suddenly reminded of the men who Chousa had beheaded the night before. The only things this entire world had to offer, it seemed, were violence, brutality, and carnage. Her wavy blonde hair whipped behind her as she sprinted, a few strands stuck to her reddened face stubbornly. Ellenore didn’t dare look in back of her. The only thing she focused on was getting as far away from Retica’s small quarters as fast as possible. Sharply, she turned a corner and hastily scampered behind some wooden boxes in the intersecting alleyway, tucking her legs into her chest as tight as she could, covering her mouth.
As soon as she sat down, uncontrollable sobs poured from her mouth. Nausea washed over her, refusing to release her stomach of its powerful, iron grip.
I want to go home…I want to go home, right now!
I don’t want to be here anymore! I…I can’t…I don’t want to see anyone die anymore!
Footsteps. Booted feet were collectively running down the stone paved alleyway. Elle immediately ceased all noises and held her breath, pressing her legs tighter into her chest, trying to make herself as small as she could. The footsteps stopped. Elle could sense their presence; they were just around the wooden boxes she was hiding behind.
“Damnit,” a voice cursed, “…she runs fast.”
“I didn’t see which was she turned, it was too dark. Lost her,” another replied. The pair of men began to walk back the way that they came. Their conversation, however, was loud enough for Elle to eavesdrop.
“Where’d the other one take off to?”
“Who knows.”
“I can’t believe he’s alive…after all these years,” the voice faded as the distance became greater between Elle and her pursuers.
Are they…talking about…Chousa?
The image of the young silver-haired youth flashed in her mind.
Oh god, please let him be okay!
Her hands were clenched tightly into fists. Elle rose cautiously to her feet, carefully withdrawing the pendant from the suede knapsack.
This thing…it’s…
“It’s all because of this stupid thing!” she yelled, throwing the pendant mirror harshly across the alleyway. It hit the stone a few times before resting finally face down; the chain creating an unruly pattern around it. Elle covered her mouth and started to cry again, sinking back down.
What am I going to do? Chousa…
…I can’t leave him there. But what if he’s already escaped? If he’s not there, then what? He’s been my only guide this entire time, I don’t know what to do without him!
Elle looked thoughtfully at the pendant, which was now lying several feet in front of her from her angry throw.
…No matter how much grief it’s caused me…that pendant is important to Chousa. I have to keep it safe for him.
Hesitantly, Elle poked her head above the wooden boxes, exposing herself just enough for her to have a clear view of the empty alleyway. When the footsteps had faded for good, she ventured out from her hiding spot and grabbed the pendant she previously chucked clear across the pathway. She pushed herself against the opposite wall and peeked around the corner. Nothing.
All clear.
She closed her eyes, tilting her head back, trying to compose herself. Just as she was about to round the corner, she was startled by a sudden force pulling viciously at her upper arm, dragging her inwards and roughly putting a hand over her mouth to prevent her from screaming. Elle instinctively clutched her hands around the arm that swung around to pull her back. She was quickly turned around, coming face to face with Chousa.
“Quiet,” he hissed, “Shut UP.”
Elle stopped her struggling. His eyes were intense, burning with an ice blue exigency. He looked over Elle’s head into the alleyway.
Nothing, he thought. He let go of Elle and moved passed her to further investigate, looking down both directions of the alleyway.
“What is going on?” Elle demanded. “How much are you planning to keep from me, Chousa?”
Chousa turned around, looking at her sharply.
“Do we have to discuss our predicament at this very moment? Do you understand what’s happening here!?” he asked incredulously. “You keep your whining—“
“How CAN I understand if you don’t TELL me anything!?” she interrupted. “Maybe I’d stop whining if you’d tell me what’s happening!”
Elle broke into tears in front of Chousa, who inwardly groaned and looked at her pathetic form.
“Just send me home, already,” Elle sobbed. “I want to go home—“
“You can’t,” Chousa harshly spat. “The only person who could send you home was Retica, and now he’s dead,” he explained, spitting the word ‘dead’ out with malice. Elle looked into Chousa’s eyes from her palms, dumbfounded.
…You don’t mean…with Retica dead…
…I’ll never…return home?
I…
“You’re lying,” Elle replied.
“Why would I lie to you?” he asked furiously. “Retica is dead. You’ll never be able to go back home, understand? There is no one on this entire planet who is even capable of that kind of magic. With him gone, it’s hopeless,” he hissed.
Elle shook her head in disbelief, denying Chousa’s words. As she did so, tears were running down her face with each sentence. Her face contorted into a snarl.
“Why can’t you understand that this isn’t easy for me--!”
“What?” he hissed, “You think this is goddamn parade for me, too!? Is that what you think?”
“I didn’t say that! All this time, you’ve done nothing but—“
“But what?”
“Keep me in the dark about everything! You can’t keep doing this! I want to know! I want to know!” she screamed, stamping her foot. “Start talking!”
“What I know is none of your business,” he replied heatedly, “and you have don't have a right to know!”
“I have a right to know if people continue to make attempts on my life like this!” she shouted.
“If I could, I’d LET them kill you!”
Elle wound up her hand and let it fly, delivering a fierce, painful smack across the pale boy’s cheek. Chousa’s head cracked back. Slowly, he turned it to face Elle’s now gaunt-looking, exhausted, red face. His features softened.
The argument came to an abrupt stop.
-
Chousa and Elle avoided any further conversation for the next six hours. The hurtful words that were exchanged earlier were still dancing around in their minds. Elle felt, at least, that saying anything more would spark another eruption, so she kept silent, waiting for Chousa to say the first word. But the first words never came. He, too, remained silent. Neither of them bothered to go to sleep. Instead, they waited for sunrise, and took to the streets again on their horse, getting out of Rythais as soon as dawn broke. Where they were headed was beyond Elle, but it didn’t matter. Her expression was stoic; the knowledge that she’d never see her parents ever again made her completely lifeless. She was slouched forward, starring aimlessly in front of her as the horse trotted down the dusty path. Their surroundings slowly morphed into a shadowy forest; the hours seemed to blend into one another, and Elle paid less and less attention to her surroundings; she was far too depressed to think of anything except for her stranded situation.
It isn’t fair. It isn’t fair. I didn’t even get to a chance to say I loved them.
Chousa should have just let them kill me.
When Elle began to focus, she noticed that the horse had stopped and Chousa was no longer mounted.
Did I really zone out for that long?
…Wait, where are we?
Elle cast a glance upward. The forest was different than the Rowenwood; it was less dingy, more open. It wasn’t humid in the slightest; in fact, it was the complete opposite. A nice, cool breeze drifted through and rustled the treets. Elle closed her eyes as it passed over her face, caressing her neck and creating goose bumps on her arms. She dismounted, hitting the forest floor and crushing the foliage beneath her feet. The sounds of a babbling stream caught her ear. Sounds of birds flying through the trees and in and out of the canopy echoed through the forest. The sharp smell of cedar was potent, almost intoxicating. The rays of the sun were shining down on a large root. Elle furrowed her eyebrows, looking curiously at the enormous growth that seemed to emerge from the ground and burrow back in again, creating a large arch. As Elle approached it, she reached her hand out in front of her to touch it.
She placed a hand on the root, running her hand along the separate, brown and red vines that weaved and created intricate patterns across it’s form.
This…must be a root of Yggdrisil.
Elle closed her eyes.
If you’re the God of this world…that means you can hear my thoughts, right?
Her fingers slowly ran along the subtle groves of the arch. If only for a second, Elle was positive her name was being called, in some far, distant reach of her mind. It called a second time, only louder.
You don’t understand how badly I just want to go home. I don’t think Chousa understands, either.
A comforting voice, the same one that had been repeating her name, began to speak, answering her thoughts. She could hear it’s slow breathing within her mind. The connection she had somehow created was strong. She could feel it’s pulse in sync with her own. A sudden, placid feeling filled her body.
How can one understand another, said the voice, if the other does not understand the one?
The question was met with no response. Instead, Elle furrowed her eyebrows. Her eyes opened with a small gasp. Swept up in a trance, she was surprised when she returned to her original surroundings. Elle glanced down at her hand resting on the root.
Chousa and I…are you saying there’s been a mix-up?
The voice didn’t respond. Elle looked behind her. In the distance, she spotted a clearing with a river flowing steadily through it. The sounds of rushing water became louder as she approached, pushing her hand gently over the branches that blocked her path. She stopped at the point where the water made contact with the ground and fell into a trance-like gaze at the waterfall that was pouring down into the river with great force
The same bugs that greeted her the night she fell from the storm fluttered merrily in uneven patterns at the base of the waterfall. She followed their movements closely as one of them bounced away from the group. It flew in a zigzag, gracing the water ever so slightly, creating precise ripples that drifted until dissipating in the river’s current. Its wings froze into a glide, and when it flapped again, it was around a statuesque figure standing in the middle of the river.
Chousa scooped up some water with his palms and splashed his face. Instead of dropping to his side, his hands infiltrated his hair, now free of the ponytail that once constrained them. His fingers disappeared into ethereal white locks and dropped back down again. The water droplets fell effortlessly onto his bare shoulders. With a hefty sigh, he lifted his head skyward, eyes closed in deep thought. Elle watched his movements in total silence. Her eyes fell upon an enormous disturbance in his otherwise smooth skin. A jagged, unsightly scar was tattooed in between his shoulder blades. Elle gasped, bringing her hands up to cover her mouth in repugnance at the foul disfigurement on his back.
Oh my god, what happened!?
At Elle’s sudden gasp, Chousa cast a lazy glance over his shoulder. When their eyes met, Elle raised her hands in front of her.
“I-I’m sorry,” she said suddenly, “I didn’t mean to…I mean, I…”
Chousa shook his head before turning around to face Elle, “It’s alright.”
“Chousa, I-“
The unsightly scar that Elle had discovered on his back was also present on his front. It was a huge scar that spanned across his right pectoral, almost identical to the one on his back. Elle’s voice failed her mid-sentence at the sight of Chousa’s chest. Slowly, her hands fell back to her side. Chousa waded through the water towards Elle’s unmoving form.
“I…” Elle started, “…Chousa, I wanted to tell you that I’m sorry for being such an inconvenience.”
“That isn’t necessary,” he answered without hesitation. “You are the one who deserves an apology.”
Elle said nothing.
“I apologize for my poor choice of words earlier, Ellenore.”
Elle, however, was not focused on Chousa’s apology.
“…You’re the prince, aren’t you?”
There was a long painful silence before Chousa responded.
“…What about it?”
-
Brusque footsteps echoed from wall to wall as a heavily armored man strode down a narrow hallway. He was in no hurry to get to his destination. While the news he was delivering was rather urgent, the looming consequences of delivering this information were undesirable. The hallway, lined with bronze pillars and red walls, provided the path to the Vientiallian throne room, where the ill-fated reports would soon be delivered. Thick, golden tresses were tied back into a loose, low ponytail, bouncing off of his lower back in time with his footsteps. Amber-eyes were downcast, though set on the goal of entering the throne room. The lights that lined the center of the ceiling and down the hall did little to provide light. Under his arm were several rolls of paper, each serving a different purpose. A separate role of parchment – the parchment with the bad news – was clutched tightly in the man’s other hand.
The armored man reached the set of intricately carved double-doors all too soon, and with a deep inhale, he entered, silently wishing for a quick resolution to the conversation he would soon engage in. No sooner did he enter, the guards standing on the inside closed the doors.
“Your Excellency,” came a syrupy voice accompanied with a bow. When he rose to his former stance, another guard from the side of the room rushed over to hold the parchment that the man had carried with him. With his hands now free, the man took back one of the parchment rolls, and gazed forward at the form who sat leisurely on the throne. To the side of the throne sat a glass wine bottle, quarter filled, accompanied by an empty wine glass. Orion inwardly sighed.
The man who sat sluggishly on the throne had long, wavy stark white locks that were chaotically strewn down his chest and his back. Severe, scarlet eyes answered the man’s address with a gaunt, critical stare. His head, once resting lazily atop his fist, lifted in mild interest.
“Orion,” he replied, “I trust you’ve come to deliver something of significance.”
Orion nodded slightly in acknowledge before continuing. He unfolded the role of beige parchment.
“My liege,” Orion began, “according to our sources, the Vientillian Council of Mages have successfully completed the summoning ritual, and, as expected, the mirror has appeared, along with it’s…keeper.”
“I see,” a smarmy smile formed on his lips. “Continue.”
“We have reason to believe both assets have been successfully located, but upon apprehension of the subject, she escaped…with the mirror, we believe.”
His statement was interrupted with a wave of dismissal, “That’s not of imminent concern. What of Retica?” he asked sharply.
“Executed,” Orion answered simply, switching parchment rolls with another from the guard’s hands. He unrolled it in the same fashion. “Dietrich was successful in Retica’s execution.”
“So, the hunt begins,” his eyes flashed hauntingly, “They may be able to run, but they undoubtedly will run out of places to hide. Tell me, Orion, who was the one who arrived with the sacred mirror?”
“A girl, your Excellency. According to Dietrich’s testimony.”
The man raised his eyes in surprised.
“The Council seems to be convinced she is from a place far across the universe. When the mirror was located, that’s where it was found. When the summoning took place, the girl was successfully brought to Eterra.”
“And?”
“That is all, sire,” Orion replied, rolling the parchment back up.
He smiled, satisfied with Orion’s news bulletins thus far.
“With Retica executed, I suspect it will only be a matter of days before this girl is…found, correct?” he asked. The question, Orion noted, was more of a demand.
“Of course, Your Excellency. The only mage capable of planetary transfer magic is dead. It shouldn’t be a problem for the arbiters. I’ve already issued orders to Finneas.”
The statements turned his smarmy smile into a wide grin, “Well, Orion, you seem to be ahead of your duties per usual.”
“I suppose,” Orion switched out another parchment roll with the guard, unrolling it again. The smarmy smile disappeared, and was replaced with a firm line, confused at Orion’s reply.
“What troubles you?” the tone of voice changed. Orion ran through the words on the parchment, strategically planning a way to convey the last bit of information. His hand gripped the side of the paper. He rolled it up and handed it to the guard, who took it without question.
“There is another issue I would like to address, Your Excellency. I will attempt to convey this is a manner that is…least upsetting.”
The man cocked an eyebrow, curiously regarding Orion.
“Go on.”
“While Retica’s execution was successful, there was…another who was accompanying the girl before she escaped.”
“Who?” he asked. His eyebrows were now furrowed, scarlet eyes now casting a suspicious glare.
“When Dietrich was evaluating his report, the girl’s companion attacked and injured one of the soldiers, aiding in both of their escapes. However, before he did so, the companion looked a bit curious to him…” he paused. Impatiently, the man let out a growl.
“Well?” he asked. “What did he see?”
“Lord Ashurei…we have reason to believe your brother is alive.”
The statement provoked an act of complete chaos. The glass wine bottle flew across the room and shattered at Orion’s feet, sprinkling glass across the marble floors and splattering the remaining alcohol in every direction. Furiously, the king rose to his feet, outraged by Orion’s last sentence. Orion mentally braced himself for the tirade.
“So am I to understand,” Ashurei hissed crossly, “that aiding the girl is the one I have SEEMINGLY failed to kill ten years ago?”
Orion didn’t answer. In response, he closed his eyes.
“ANSWER ME!” he roared. Orion opened his eyes again.
“Affirmative.”
Heatedly, Ashurei was now pacing like a caged animal. Boredly, Orion watched his king’s movements as he went back and forth. Ashure’s face was contorted into a vicious snarl, “How? How is this possible? I stabbed him with my own hands through his chest! And now he’s APPEARED, aiding the one with the mirror. Is this correct, Orion? IS IT?” he demanded.
“Correct, Your Excellency.”
“WHERE is DIETRICH?” he demanded.
“In the process of completing another assignment, Your Excellency.”
“As soon as he returns,” Ashurei turned, eyes ablaze with fury, “you will be sure to tell him that his presence is expected without delay. Do I make myself clear? I will clarify this situation myself.”
Orion bowed his head.
“Of course, Your Excellency.”
“Alive,” Ashurei seethed, taking a seat at this throne, “How could this BE? He’s simply ‘reappeared’ like a goddamn cockroach.”
“With all due respect, Your Excellency, you also should know that he was carrying a questionable sword as well.”
“WHAT?!” he exploded. As if Ashurei wasn't already infuriated, Orion continued with his report. Orion would spare Dietrich the verbal lashing; it was better to lay everything out on the table. However, Orion wasn’t sure what would happen next; he had never seen Ashurei so infuriated.
“The sword is believed to be-“
“HE HAS THE SWORD OF YGGDRISIL!?”
“It hasn’t been confirmed, Your Excellency.”
“GET OUT.”
“As you wish, sire,” Orion obliged. Afterall, he was more than happy to escape Ashurei’s firey rage. As Orion began his exit, Ashurei dissolved into endless, mindless babble over his brother’s survival. Orion had already predicted the outcome of the news. Even after he had exited the throne room and took to the hallway once again, Ashurei’s outraged rant was apparent from behind the double-doors.
Was that unconfirmed bit of information even worth it, Dietrich?
With the king’s rage quickly sifting to the back of his mind as it often did, the arbiter’s thoughts quickly shifted to future points on the agenda. Orion was now set to organize a meeting with the rest of the arbiters to discuss future concerns.
A concern that needed immediate attention, however, was the apprehension of Ellenore Hensley and the mirror of Yggdrisil.
The image of Retica’s lifeless eyes were burned into Ellenore’s retinas. His body was lying there, frozen, motionless, dead. The disgusting memory would be forever present in her mind. As she flew down the alleyway, frightened sobs struggled to escape from her throat, which was already bombarded with heavy pants from running. She was suddenly reminded of the men who Chousa had beheaded the night before. The only things this entire world had to offer, it seemed, were violence, brutality, and carnage. Her wavy blonde hair whipped behind her as she sprinted, a few strands stuck to her reddened face stubbornly. Ellenore didn’t dare look in back of her. The only thing she focused on was getting as far away from Retica’s small quarters as fast as possible. Sharply, she turned a corner and hastily scampered behind some wooden boxes in the intersecting alleyway, tucking her legs into her chest as tight as she could, covering her mouth.
As soon as she sat down, uncontrollable sobs poured from her mouth. Nausea washed over her, refusing to release her stomach of its powerful, iron grip.
I want to go home…I want to go home, right now!
I don’t want to be here anymore! I…I can’t…I don’t want to see anyone die anymore!
Footsteps. Booted feet were collectively running down the stone paved alleyway. Elle immediately ceased all noises and held her breath, pressing her legs tighter into her chest, trying to make herself as small as she could. The footsteps stopped. Elle could sense their presence; they were just around the wooden boxes she was hiding behind.
“Damnit,” a voice cursed, “…she runs fast.”
“I didn’t see which was she turned, it was too dark. Lost her,” another replied. The pair of men began to walk back the way that they came. Their conversation, however, was loud enough for Elle to eavesdrop.
“Where’d the other one take off to?”
“Who knows.”
“I can’t believe he’s alive…after all these years,” the voice faded as the distance became greater between Elle and her pursuers.
Are they…talking about…Chousa?
The image of the young silver-haired youth flashed in her mind.
Oh god, please let him be okay!
Her hands were clenched tightly into fists. Elle rose cautiously to her feet, carefully withdrawing the pendant from the suede knapsack.
This thing…it’s…
“It’s all because of this stupid thing!” she yelled, throwing the pendant mirror harshly across the alleyway. It hit the stone a few times before resting finally face down; the chain creating an unruly pattern around it. Elle covered her mouth and started to cry again, sinking back down.
What am I going to do? Chousa…
…I can’t leave him there. But what if he’s already escaped? If he’s not there, then what? He’s been my only guide this entire time, I don’t know what to do without him!
Elle looked thoughtfully at the pendant, which was now lying several feet in front of her from her angry throw.
…No matter how much grief it’s caused me…that pendant is important to Chousa. I have to keep it safe for him.
Hesitantly, Elle poked her head above the wooden boxes, exposing herself just enough for her to have a clear view of the empty alleyway. When the footsteps had faded for good, she ventured out from her hiding spot and grabbed the pendant she previously chucked clear across the pathway. She pushed herself against the opposite wall and peeked around the corner. Nothing.
All clear.
She closed her eyes, tilting her head back, trying to compose herself. Just as she was about to round the corner, she was startled by a sudden force pulling viciously at her upper arm, dragging her inwards and roughly putting a hand over her mouth to prevent her from screaming. Elle instinctively clutched her hands around the arm that swung around to pull her back. She was quickly turned around, coming face to face with Chousa.
“Quiet,” he hissed, “Shut UP.”
Elle stopped her struggling. His eyes were intense, burning with an ice blue exigency. He looked over Elle’s head into the alleyway.
Nothing, he thought. He let go of Elle and moved passed her to further investigate, looking down both directions of the alleyway.
“What is going on?” Elle demanded. “How much are you planning to keep from me, Chousa?”
Chousa turned around, looking at her sharply.
“Do we have to discuss our predicament at this very moment? Do you understand what’s happening here!?” he asked incredulously. “You keep your whining—“
“How CAN I understand if you don’t TELL me anything!?” she interrupted. “Maybe I’d stop whining if you’d tell me what’s happening!”
Elle broke into tears in front of Chousa, who inwardly groaned and looked at her pathetic form.
“Just send me home, already,” Elle sobbed. “I want to go home—“
“You can’t,” Chousa harshly spat. “The only person who could send you home was Retica, and now he’s dead,” he explained, spitting the word ‘dead’ out with malice. Elle looked into Chousa’s eyes from her palms, dumbfounded.
…You don’t mean…with Retica dead…
…I’ll never…return home?
I…
“You’re lying,” Elle replied.
“Why would I lie to you?” he asked furiously. “Retica is dead. You’ll never be able to go back home, understand? There is no one on this entire planet who is even capable of that kind of magic. With him gone, it’s hopeless,” he hissed.
Elle shook her head in disbelief, denying Chousa’s words. As she did so, tears were running down her face with each sentence. Her face contorted into a snarl.
“Why can’t you understand that this isn’t easy for me--!”
“What?” he hissed, “You think this is goddamn parade for me, too!? Is that what you think?”
“I didn’t say that! All this time, you’ve done nothing but—“
“But what?”
“Keep me in the dark about everything! You can’t keep doing this! I want to know! I want to know!” she screamed, stamping her foot. “Start talking!”
“What I know is none of your business,” he replied heatedly, “and you have don't have a right to know!”
“I have a right to know if people continue to make attempts on my life like this!” she shouted.
“If I could, I’d LET them kill you!”
Elle wound up her hand and let it fly, delivering a fierce, painful smack across the pale boy’s cheek. Chousa’s head cracked back. Slowly, he turned it to face Elle’s now gaunt-looking, exhausted, red face. His features softened.
The argument came to an abrupt stop.
-
Chousa and Elle avoided any further conversation for the next six hours. The hurtful words that were exchanged earlier were still dancing around in their minds. Elle felt, at least, that saying anything more would spark another eruption, so she kept silent, waiting for Chousa to say the first word. But the first words never came. He, too, remained silent. Neither of them bothered to go to sleep. Instead, they waited for sunrise, and took to the streets again on their horse, getting out of Rythais as soon as dawn broke. Where they were headed was beyond Elle, but it didn’t matter. Her expression was stoic; the knowledge that she’d never see her parents ever again made her completely lifeless. She was slouched forward, starring aimlessly in front of her as the horse trotted down the dusty path. Their surroundings slowly morphed into a shadowy forest; the hours seemed to blend into one another, and Elle paid less and less attention to her surroundings; she was far too depressed to think of anything except for her stranded situation.
It isn’t fair. It isn’t fair. I didn’t even get to a chance to say I loved them.
Chousa should have just let them kill me.
When Elle began to focus, she noticed that the horse had stopped and Chousa was no longer mounted.
Did I really zone out for that long?
…Wait, where are we?
Elle cast a glance upward. The forest was different than the Rowenwood; it was less dingy, more open. It wasn’t humid in the slightest; in fact, it was the complete opposite. A nice, cool breeze drifted through and rustled the treets. Elle closed her eyes as it passed over her face, caressing her neck and creating goose bumps on her arms. She dismounted, hitting the forest floor and crushing the foliage beneath her feet. The sounds of a babbling stream caught her ear. Sounds of birds flying through the trees and in and out of the canopy echoed through the forest. The sharp smell of cedar was potent, almost intoxicating. The rays of the sun were shining down on a large root. Elle furrowed her eyebrows, looking curiously at the enormous growth that seemed to emerge from the ground and burrow back in again, creating a large arch. As Elle approached it, she reached her hand out in front of her to touch it.
She placed a hand on the root, running her hand along the separate, brown and red vines that weaved and created intricate patterns across it’s form.
This…must be a root of Yggdrisil.
Elle closed her eyes.
If you’re the God of this world…that means you can hear my thoughts, right?
Her fingers slowly ran along the subtle groves of the arch. If only for a second, Elle was positive her name was being called, in some far, distant reach of her mind. It called a second time, only louder.
You don’t understand how badly I just want to go home. I don’t think Chousa understands, either.
A comforting voice, the same one that had been repeating her name, began to speak, answering her thoughts. She could hear it’s slow breathing within her mind. The connection she had somehow created was strong. She could feel it’s pulse in sync with her own. A sudden, placid feeling filled her body.
How can one understand another, said the voice, if the other does not understand the one?
The question was met with no response. Instead, Elle furrowed her eyebrows. Her eyes opened with a small gasp. Swept up in a trance, she was surprised when she returned to her original surroundings. Elle glanced down at her hand resting on the root.
Chousa and I…are you saying there’s been a mix-up?
The voice didn’t respond. Elle looked behind her. In the distance, she spotted a clearing with a river flowing steadily through it. The sounds of rushing water became louder as she approached, pushing her hand gently over the branches that blocked her path. She stopped at the point where the water made contact with the ground and fell into a trance-like gaze at the waterfall that was pouring down into the river with great force
The same bugs that greeted her the night she fell from the storm fluttered merrily in uneven patterns at the base of the waterfall. She followed their movements closely as one of them bounced away from the group. It flew in a zigzag, gracing the water ever so slightly, creating precise ripples that drifted until dissipating in the river’s current. Its wings froze into a glide, and when it flapped again, it was around a statuesque figure standing in the middle of the river.
Chousa scooped up some water with his palms and splashed his face. Instead of dropping to his side, his hands infiltrated his hair, now free of the ponytail that once constrained them. His fingers disappeared into ethereal white locks and dropped back down again. The water droplets fell effortlessly onto his bare shoulders. With a hefty sigh, he lifted his head skyward, eyes closed in deep thought. Elle watched his movements in total silence. Her eyes fell upon an enormous disturbance in his otherwise smooth skin. A jagged, unsightly scar was tattooed in between his shoulder blades. Elle gasped, bringing her hands up to cover her mouth in repugnance at the foul disfigurement on his back.
Oh my god, what happened!?
At Elle’s sudden gasp, Chousa cast a lazy glance over his shoulder. When their eyes met, Elle raised her hands in front of her.
“I-I’m sorry,” she said suddenly, “I didn’t mean to…I mean, I…”
Chousa shook his head before turning around to face Elle, “It’s alright.”
“Chousa, I-“
The unsightly scar that Elle had discovered on his back was also present on his front. It was a huge scar that spanned across his right pectoral, almost identical to the one on his back. Elle’s voice failed her mid-sentence at the sight of Chousa’s chest. Slowly, her hands fell back to her side. Chousa waded through the water towards Elle’s unmoving form.
“I…” Elle started, “…Chousa, I wanted to tell you that I’m sorry for being such an inconvenience.”
“That isn’t necessary,” he answered without hesitation. “You are the one who deserves an apology.”
Elle said nothing.
“I apologize for my poor choice of words earlier, Ellenore.”
Elle, however, was not focused on Chousa’s apology.
“…You’re the prince, aren’t you?”
There was a long painful silence before Chousa responded.
“…What about it?”
-
Brusque footsteps echoed from wall to wall as a heavily armored man strode down a narrow hallway. He was in no hurry to get to his destination. While the news he was delivering was rather urgent, the looming consequences of delivering this information were undesirable. The hallway, lined with bronze pillars and red walls, provided the path to the Vientiallian throne room, where the ill-fated reports would soon be delivered. Thick, golden tresses were tied back into a loose, low ponytail, bouncing off of his lower back in time with his footsteps. Amber-eyes were downcast, though set on the goal of entering the throne room. The lights that lined the center of the ceiling and down the hall did little to provide light. Under his arm were several rolls of paper, each serving a different purpose. A separate role of parchment – the parchment with the bad news – was clutched tightly in the man’s other hand.
The armored man reached the set of intricately carved double-doors all too soon, and with a deep inhale, he entered, silently wishing for a quick resolution to the conversation he would soon engage in. No sooner did he enter, the guards standing on the inside closed the doors.
“Your Excellency,” came a syrupy voice accompanied with a bow. When he rose to his former stance, another guard from the side of the room rushed over to hold the parchment that the man had carried with him. With his hands now free, the man took back one of the parchment rolls, and gazed forward at the form who sat leisurely on the throne. To the side of the throne sat a glass wine bottle, quarter filled, accompanied by an empty wine glass. Orion inwardly sighed.
The man who sat sluggishly on the throne had long, wavy stark white locks that were chaotically strewn down his chest and his back. Severe, scarlet eyes answered the man’s address with a gaunt, critical stare. His head, once resting lazily atop his fist, lifted in mild interest.
“Orion,” he replied, “I trust you’ve come to deliver something of significance.”
Orion nodded slightly in acknowledge before continuing. He unfolded the role of beige parchment.
“My liege,” Orion began, “according to our sources, the Vientillian Council of Mages have successfully completed the summoning ritual, and, as expected, the mirror has appeared, along with it’s…keeper.”
“I see,” a smarmy smile formed on his lips. “Continue.”
“We have reason to believe both assets have been successfully located, but upon apprehension of the subject, she escaped…with the mirror, we believe.”
His statement was interrupted with a wave of dismissal, “That’s not of imminent concern. What of Retica?” he asked sharply.
“Executed,” Orion answered simply, switching parchment rolls with another from the guard’s hands. He unrolled it in the same fashion. “Dietrich was successful in Retica’s execution.”
“So, the hunt begins,” his eyes flashed hauntingly, “They may be able to run, but they undoubtedly will run out of places to hide. Tell me, Orion, who was the one who arrived with the sacred mirror?”
“A girl, your Excellency. According to Dietrich’s testimony.”
The man raised his eyes in surprised.
“The Council seems to be convinced she is from a place far across the universe. When the mirror was located, that’s where it was found. When the summoning took place, the girl was successfully brought to Eterra.”
“And?”
“That is all, sire,” Orion replied, rolling the parchment back up.
He smiled, satisfied with Orion’s news bulletins thus far.
“With Retica executed, I suspect it will only be a matter of days before this girl is…found, correct?” he asked. The question, Orion noted, was more of a demand.
“Of course, Your Excellency. The only mage capable of planetary transfer magic is dead. It shouldn’t be a problem for the arbiters. I’ve already issued orders to Finneas.”
The statements turned his smarmy smile into a wide grin, “Well, Orion, you seem to be ahead of your duties per usual.”
“I suppose,” Orion switched out another parchment roll with the guard, unrolling it again. The smarmy smile disappeared, and was replaced with a firm line, confused at Orion’s reply.
“What troubles you?” the tone of voice changed. Orion ran through the words on the parchment, strategically planning a way to convey the last bit of information. His hand gripped the side of the paper. He rolled it up and handed it to the guard, who took it without question.
“There is another issue I would like to address, Your Excellency. I will attempt to convey this is a manner that is…least upsetting.”
The man cocked an eyebrow, curiously regarding Orion.
“Go on.”
“While Retica’s execution was successful, there was…another who was accompanying the girl before she escaped.”
“Who?” he asked. His eyebrows were now furrowed, scarlet eyes now casting a suspicious glare.
“When Dietrich was evaluating his report, the girl’s companion attacked and injured one of the soldiers, aiding in both of their escapes. However, before he did so, the companion looked a bit curious to him…” he paused. Impatiently, the man let out a growl.
“Well?” he asked. “What did he see?”
“Lord Ashurei…we have reason to believe your brother is alive.”
The statement provoked an act of complete chaos. The glass wine bottle flew across the room and shattered at Orion’s feet, sprinkling glass across the marble floors and splattering the remaining alcohol in every direction. Furiously, the king rose to his feet, outraged by Orion’s last sentence. Orion mentally braced himself for the tirade.
“So am I to understand,” Ashurei hissed crossly, “that aiding the girl is the one I have SEEMINGLY failed to kill ten years ago?”
Orion didn’t answer. In response, he closed his eyes.
“ANSWER ME!” he roared. Orion opened his eyes again.
“Affirmative.”
Heatedly, Ashurei was now pacing like a caged animal. Boredly, Orion watched his king’s movements as he went back and forth. Ashure’s face was contorted into a vicious snarl, “How? How is this possible? I stabbed him with my own hands through his chest! And now he’s APPEARED, aiding the one with the mirror. Is this correct, Orion? IS IT?” he demanded.
“Correct, Your Excellency.”
“WHERE is DIETRICH?” he demanded.
“In the process of completing another assignment, Your Excellency.”
“As soon as he returns,” Ashurei turned, eyes ablaze with fury, “you will be sure to tell him that his presence is expected without delay. Do I make myself clear? I will clarify this situation myself.”
Orion bowed his head.
“Of course, Your Excellency.”
“Alive,” Ashurei seethed, taking a seat at this throne, “How could this BE? He’s simply ‘reappeared’ like a goddamn cockroach.”
“With all due respect, Your Excellency, you also should know that he was carrying a questionable sword as well.”
“WHAT?!” he exploded. As if Ashurei wasn't already infuriated, Orion continued with his report. Orion would spare Dietrich the verbal lashing; it was better to lay everything out on the table. However, Orion wasn’t sure what would happen next; he had never seen Ashurei so infuriated.
“The sword is believed to be-“
“HE HAS THE SWORD OF YGGDRISIL!?”
“It hasn’t been confirmed, Your Excellency.”
“GET OUT.”
“As you wish, sire,” Orion obliged. Afterall, he was more than happy to escape Ashurei’s firey rage. As Orion began his exit, Ashurei dissolved into endless, mindless babble over his brother’s survival. Orion had already predicted the outcome of the news. Even after he had exited the throne room and took to the hallway once again, Ashurei’s outraged rant was apparent from behind the double-doors.
Was that unconfirmed bit of information even worth it, Dietrich?
With the king’s rage quickly sifting to the back of his mind as it often did, the arbiter’s thoughts quickly shifted to future points on the agenda. Orion was now set to organize a meeting with the rest of the arbiters to discuss future concerns.
A concern that needed immediate attention, however, was the apprehension of Ellenore Hensley and the mirror of Yggdrisil.
Jellybean Disaster
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Sigh.
Well this has been a productive day, hasn't it? @_@
Well this has been a productive day, hasn't it? @_@
Serenity Reed
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*drags herself up* I started a reply, but lost it when mah website exploded mah computer. So, I'll start it again now. =3
Jellybean Disaster
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Take your time, dear. <3
Serenity Reed
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- Posted: Sun, 25 Jul 2010 03:42:27 +0000
Chapter Four: Foreign word I can neither pronounce nor spell
Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...Three moons. I don't think "in place of the single moon Elle had become used to on Earth. " is necessary, since readers will most likely already be used to one moon. =/ (Hopefully.)
Beneath and below used to describe the same thing, same sentence.
Moreover, her parents didn’t know where she was (and neither did she, really) and she had no way of telling them or informing them of her welfare. The thought of being ripped away so violently and so suddenly and not even having a chance to tell them how she was…she feared she was more worried about them then they were about her. She had never felt this much longing for home in her life. Mom, Dad, and her dog, Max. Never in her life had she felt so compelled to see them, especially after the storm had torn away the front half of her home so viciously.
Telling~
Jeez, why is Leni so mean...?
A lot of exposition here, rather than showing.
What? What do YOU know about politeness, Leni? 8U
Leni sits down like, twice in that paragraph. 8U
She is an angry, angry person. Surrounded by male INSOLENCE.
Oh mannnnnnnnnnn here comes the exposition
Oh come on, Elle. Those are Latin based and English words. Jeeeeeeeez girl. Math! And languages!
That said, I honestly don't think the 'Elle thoughts' are that necessary. I mean, I should get those feelings without having to delve into her mind, right? The Elle filter should give us her thought processes without obviously being her straight-up thoughts. They just seem kind of extraneous.
"Ellenore felt her heart being tugged at." Well, I don't, Elle. =_=
This is kind of like the love scene thing. Any emotional scene should be treated with subtlety. Feelings should be inferred through action and dialogue without anyone saying 'I feel angry'.
INSOLENT NEPHEW, TRYING TO BE A WOOBIE OR SOMETHING
Gawd, evil prince. Don't you know that poison is so much better for murder?
"Yggdrisil?" Come ON, Elle, it's the WORLD TREE. Where WERE you in school? Oh, wait, um, I never learned that in school. Never mind. *whistle*
OOH, a MYSTIC SPARKLE. Nice one, Leni. So, what does that look like?
"Are you saying that the World Tree killed my parents? And it let me live? And it let this tree village live? And it killed my sister? Yggdrisil is a JERK."
Oh, so I was trippin' ova dead people. That's AWESOME
"Yeah, Chousa is crazier than EVEN YOU, Elle. But at least he has a good heart. I guess." Oh, Leni.
So Faris is 15; how old is Chousa? Or does time still not care about Elle's sleepy tiem?
You're one to talk about tact, Leni. Though I suppose, Elle IS crazy.
"In total silence, Elle could hear everything."
His heart beat, the strains of muscles, the synapses of electricity, the grinding of his stomach... EVERYTHING.
...His BREATHING is graceful?
"even more darker"
Even more more dark? Teh redundancy!
"what she feared more;" ; should be :
And the fragments after could be better written. I had to read it all twice to understand.
"Obviously the sun, you idiots." 8U I am sadface at this treatment, Jellybean. I am smart enough to know that the sun makes the night go not-dark.
"When she pulled herself upwards and was on her feet, she was moving forwards to open the door." Passive fragment? It's crazy. 8U
"knit booties" made me laugh. *THE BUTT-SKIRT WAS GINORMOUS.* That is probably just my fault.
Aw, Elle. You should have. =( I still don't really care about Chousa, but I'm starting to like Elle. I mean, Leni has more going for her than Chousa does. There's no sense of urgency here, either.
'it’s' should not have an apostrophe. You probably already know that, but you used it twice. Off should be of.
I lol'd at this horse part. Great. Comedy is a wonderful thing. This is the first real non-serious scene I've found; love it.
I don't think Chousa would have waited five minutes, though. Still, it's great to see actual personality from him.
reigns should be reins
'the plains' pops up a lot. The last transition could use a little boost, so it feels like actual time is passing.
Still pretty passive, but altogether I think I like this chapter is the best. We finally get to see Chousa with emotion! Ha ha! The combination of Chousa personality, plot beginning, and comedy just works in that scene. Getting there is the only problem. Still have little to no personality for Elle, but she seems less than conscientious for some of her actions right now.
And I will totally admit that I might have skipped ahead a little to see how things went. I was INTERESTED, OKAY?! *cough*
Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...Three moons. I don't think "in place of the single moon Elle had become used to on Earth. " is necessary, since readers will most likely already be used to one moon. =/ (Hopefully.)
Beneath and below used to describe the same thing, same sentence.
Moreover, her parents didn’t know where she was (and neither did she, really) and she had no way of telling them or informing them of her welfare. The thought of being ripped away so violently and so suddenly and not even having a chance to tell them how she was…she feared she was more worried about them then they were about her. She had never felt this much longing for home in her life. Mom, Dad, and her dog, Max. Never in her life had she felt so compelled to see them, especially after the storm had torn away the front half of her home so viciously.
Telling~
Jeez, why is Leni so mean...?
A lot of exposition here, rather than showing.
What? What do YOU know about politeness, Leni? 8U
Leni sits down like, twice in that paragraph. 8U
She is an angry, angry person. Surrounded by male INSOLENCE.
Oh mannnnnnnnnnn here comes the exposition
Oh come on, Elle. Those are Latin based and English words. Jeeeeeeeez girl. Math! And languages!
That said, I honestly don't think the 'Elle thoughts' are that necessary. I mean, I should get those feelings without having to delve into her mind, right? The Elle filter should give us her thought processes without obviously being her straight-up thoughts. They just seem kind of extraneous.
"Ellenore felt her heart being tugged at." Well, I don't, Elle. =_=
This is kind of like the love scene thing. Any emotional scene should be treated with subtlety. Feelings should be inferred through action and dialogue without anyone saying 'I feel angry'.
INSOLENT NEPHEW, TRYING TO BE A WOOBIE OR SOMETHING
Gawd, evil prince. Don't you know that poison is so much better for murder?
"Yggdrisil?" Come ON, Elle, it's the WORLD TREE. Where WERE you in school? Oh, wait, um, I never learned that in school. Never mind. *whistle*
OOH, a MYSTIC SPARKLE. Nice one, Leni. So, what does that look like?
"Are you saying that the World Tree killed my parents? And it let me live? And it let this tree village live? And it killed my sister? Yggdrisil is a JERK."
Oh, so I was trippin' ova dead people. That's AWESOME
"Yeah, Chousa is crazier than EVEN YOU, Elle. But at least he has a good heart. I guess." Oh, Leni.
So Faris is 15; how old is Chousa? Or does time still not care about Elle's sleepy tiem?
You're one to talk about tact, Leni. Though I suppose, Elle IS crazy.
"In total silence, Elle could hear everything."
His heart beat, the strains of muscles, the synapses of electricity, the grinding of his stomach... EVERYTHING.
...His BREATHING is graceful?
"even more darker"
Even more more dark? Teh redundancy!
"what she feared more;" ; should be :
And the fragments after could be better written. I had to read it all twice to understand.
"Obviously the sun, you idiots." 8U I am sadface at this treatment, Jellybean. I am smart enough to know that the sun makes the night go not-dark.
"When she pulled herself upwards and was on her feet, she was moving forwards to open the door." Passive fragment? It's crazy. 8U
"knit booties" made me laugh. *THE BUTT-SKIRT WAS GINORMOUS.* That is probably just my fault.
Aw, Elle. You should have. =( I still don't really care about Chousa, but I'm starting to like Elle. I mean, Leni has more going for her than Chousa does. There's no sense of urgency here, either.
'it’s' should not have an apostrophe. You probably already know that, but you used it twice. Off should be of.
I lol'd at this horse part. Great. Comedy is a wonderful thing. This is the first real non-serious scene I've found; love it.
I don't think Chousa would have waited five minutes, though. Still, it's great to see actual personality from him.
reigns should be reins
'the plains' pops up a lot. The last transition could use a little boost, so it feels like actual time is passing.
Still pretty passive, but altogether I think I like this chapter is the best. We finally get to see Chousa with emotion! Ha ha! The combination of Chousa personality, plot beginning, and comedy just works in that scene. Getting there is the only problem. Still have little to no personality for Elle, but she seems less than conscientious for some of her actions right now.
And I will totally admit that I might have skipped ahead a little to see how things went. I was INTERESTED, OKAY?! *cough*
Jellybean Disaster
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hahahah OH YOU.
Thank you for the review! Hopefully in the coming chapters, both of them should have more personality. And the horse...I mean, I remember having trouble getting on a horse when I went horseback riding once, and I can only think of what Chousa would think if Elle was struggling.
"COME ON, GET UP HERE ALREADY, GOD YOU ARE ANNOYING! >8U"
"I'm sorry. ;_;"
So I guess you could say that was based on my own experience!
And I'm actually glad the dialogue wasn't *that* bad. Just a matter of using the Elle filter and not pretending the audience is dumb. I'll have to see what I can do about that for chapter 7~
I think what I'll do is just wait until you're done reviewing the chapters before starting. I want to hear your entire input before continuing; I think there might be some things to clean up in the coming chapters and things to fix before writing anything more.
Thaaaaaaankkkssss. : D !
Thank you for the review! Hopefully in the coming chapters, both of them should have more personality. And the horse...I mean, I remember having trouble getting on a horse when I went horseback riding once, and I can only think of what Chousa would think if Elle was struggling.
"COME ON, GET UP HERE ALREADY, GOD YOU ARE ANNOYING! >8U"
"I'm sorry. ;_;"
So I guess you could say that was based on my own experience!
And I'm actually glad the dialogue wasn't *that* bad. Just a matter of using the Elle filter and not pretending the audience is dumb. I'll have to see what I can do about that for chapter 7~
I think what I'll do is just wait until you're done reviewing the chapters before starting. I want to hear your entire input before continuing; I think there might be some things to clean up in the coming chapters and things to fix before writing anything more.
Thaaaaaaankkkssss. : D !
Serenity Reed
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- Posted: Sun, 25 Jul 2010 03:59:21 +0000
You're really going to wait? That'll take forever! D8
Jellybean Disaster
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- Posted: Sun, 25 Jul 2010 04:04:34 +0000
Haha, well, I wanted to ask you what I should do plot-wise, but I don't know if you're done reading the chapters, and I didn't want to spoil anything. XD
Serenity Reed
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- Posted: Sun, 25 Jul 2010 04:06:43 +0000
I'll get started on 5 then, right now. 8U
Jellybean Disaster
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- Posted: Sun, 25 Jul 2010 04:14:16 +0000
PREPARE FOR URGENCY! *_*
Serenity Reed
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- Posted: Sun, 25 Jul 2010 04:17:02 +0000
OH NOES URGENCY?! Can I get done in an hour...?
Jellybean Disaster
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- Posted: Sun, 25 Jul 2010 04:24:58 +0000
IF YOU PUT YOUR MIND TO IT! 8D
/lame
/lame
Serenity Reed
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- Posted: Sun, 25 Jul 2010 04:26:06 +0000
BUT MY MIND IS TOO DISORGANIZED *cry forever*