Kazoo_Kazoo
(?)Community Member
- Posted: Fri, 04 May 2012 04:30:55 +0000
Hello all. This is a first draft of chapters 1 and 2 for a story I am working on. Any comments you have (particularly about stuff you may not understand) would be awesome. Enjoy!
Working title: The Woman of Ice
Prologue
Chapter One
Arthur Dewing surveyed the blood-stained snow before him with a combination of anger and dismay. Before him laid the smoldering remains of the Ensley household. Henry Ensley was a barely recognizable smear on the frozen ground, surrounded by massive blood-stained footprints that had nearly disappeared beneath the freshly fallen snow. The footprints belonged to the savage giants that called the Fahlatian Ice Field to the north their home. His wife, Catherine, and daughter, Joya, were nowhere to be seen, and Arthur feared the worst.
Arthur’s home was here, in the country of Colinwood, and as a captain of the Border Patrol, it was his sworn duty to stop exactly this from happening. The ice sheet to the north was home to all manner of unspeakable horrors, and it was his responsibility to protect the people of Collinwood from raids such as this. He was a battle-worn veteran from the territory wars with the Azardian nation to the south of years past, and was a natural choice for the position. He thought back now, trying to find some moment of his life that was comparable to the animal savagery that was displayed before him.
The sound of crunching snow behind him drew his attention and he turned to see Borris Annor hurrying up the road towards him. The young man had recently moved from the Azardian nation with his family, and was not yet comfortable with the frigid winters this far north. Although it had been many years since the territory wars ended, when Borris first displayed interest to join the border patrol, Arthur was suspicious. Over the last few years however, he had earned Arthur’s trust a hundred times over, proving himself to be a loyal soldier and a keen-minded fighter.
Borris never did adjust to the bone-chilling winters of Collinwood, and although he was bundled head to toe in furs and skins, Arthur could clearly see his discomfort. “I came as soon as I saw the smoke.” He said breathlessly when he stood before Arthur. He turned wide-eyed to the disfigured body that was once Henry Ensley, a skilled hunter and fisherman, loyal member of the community, and loving husband and father. He turned back to Arthur. “Catherine and the girl?”
Arthur shook his head. “I am not sure. Jeremy is checking for them now.”
Jeremy, the youngest member of their team, emerged from the wreckage now, his face covered in soot. He shook his head miserably. There was no sign of the women. Jeremy was a young, handsome fellow from Allana, Collinwood’s capital city. He was an aspiring knight, one of a long line if Arthur remembered correctly, and part of every knight’s training in early years was duty on the border patrol. This was the first incident since his arrival, and he was clearly shaken.
When Jeremy returned, Arthur immediately took charge. “With no evidence to suggest otherwise, we have to assume the women have been taken hostage. It will be our duty to retrieve them and dispose of the creatures responsible for this.”
Jeremy glanced back towards the wreckage warily before he spoke. “Just us, sir?”
Arthur shook his head. “Calistor and Janette are tracking the beasts as we speak. With any luck they will return shortly and we will be able to put a plan in action.”
Jeremy and Borris nodded solemnly. The footprints had nearly faded, covered up by the heavy snowfall. Soon they would be lost. They had no choice but to wait for the others return.
Two human forms huddled on the edge of a snow dune warily. Calistor and Janette had tracked the beasts over the tundra, up the steep edge of the frozen cliff face, and onto the barren, snow-covered Fahlatian Ice Sheet that marked the giant’s homeland. Nearly three hundred years ago, the ice sheet approached from the mountain ranges far to the north, flattening the grand Fahlatian Empire in a matter of months. The giants, who at that time had only called the mountains their home, expanded, claiming the frozen land as their home. Legends told that God had granted the Fahlatian’s with Crystals imbued with great power. But the Fahlatian’s greed made them corrupt the Crystals, enhancing their powers with the spirits of the dead. The stories say God punished them for their hubris, bringing the ice down from the mountains to crush them. Although he knew the Crystals did indeed exist, Calistor never put much stock in the myths and legends that parents told their children at night.
Calistor Onnick was a man of science, and it was only by chance that he had been drawn into service as a member of the border patrol just over a year ago. He was an explorer, an expert as scouring the hills south of the ice sheet for traces of the Crystals - for traces were all that remained after the ice sheet crushed the Empire. Few whole crystals remained, and were coveted by the rich and the powerful, and sold in secret on the black market. People would, and have, killed for that power. Wars had been fought and countless lives sacrificed for control of that power. What Calistor found were crushed and broken fragments of the Crystals in the glacial sediments. While these held much less power than the full crystals, they proved a useful source of fuel for several common-day uses.
It was during one of these expeditions he first had met Janette, and been dragged into the terrifying life of a border patrolman. He was just south of the wall of ice, collecting samples from a moraine, when the sounds of shattering ice drew his attention northward. He turned in surprise to see a huge cascade of ice crashing to the ground. He looked up, and was shocked to see a person clinging desperately to the edge of the ice, a massive giant sood menacingly over them. Horror struck him to the core as one of the creatures raised his massive limbs and brought them down on the ice with a thunderous crash. The ground shook, and he could hear the creature’s guttural laughter as the person struggled to keep hold of the ledge. Cruelly, it was toying with her.
Instinct took over and he threw off his pack, sprinting towards the wall of ice. He stood at the base of the ice, looking 50 feet above him to the dangling form of tormented victim. The person looked down, and as their eyes met he saw she was a woman, her panic clear in her eyes. Adrenaline suddenly pumped through his veins, giving him strength he had not known before. He removed the rock hammer and chisel from his belt and, using them as he would an ice pick, began scaling the sheer face of the wall towards the woman.
He was nearly ten feet off the ground when another crash shook the wall. Ice sprinkled from above and he clung tight to the wall, praying his impromptu ice picks held. He looked up to ensure she was still there, and resumed his climbing. When he was almost twenty feet off the ground, another crash shook the wall, and he heard a scream from up above. He reached out with one hand desperately to grab at the falling form. He caught her in one hand, and her descent was abruptly stopped. For a fraction of a second they were dangling from the wall, supported by the rock hammer.
But their combined weight proved to be too much, and they suddenly found themselves free-falling as the hammer broke away from the ice. They plummeted to the ground, and the woman fell heavily on him. Calistor instinctively reached down to break his fall, and felt his arm snap painfully before blackness took hold of him.
He awoke three days later, alone in an unfamiliar place, with his arm in a splint and bandages all over his torso and head. He called out hoarsely, and the woman from the ledge entered the room, a look of relief on her face. He soon found out her name was Janette Appes, and she was a member of the border patrol. She was separated from her team in a skirmish, and it was eventually her team that found them, broken and battered, at the base of the wall. Hearing of his courage, Arthur recruited Calistor once he was recovered, and soon discovered that he was a skilled tracker and hunter, and a valuable asset to the team. Calistor had never looked back.
His arm had never fully healed, and Calistor thought back on this now as he and Janette crept slowly over the crest of the snow dune to peer down on the ruthless giants. They saw two massive guards wielding clubs as tall as pines standing over a stairwell that was carved into the ice. Human heads on stakes marked the short path to the entrance. He looked over and caught Janette’s eyes. She gestured behind them. He nodded. They began backing up slowly; meaning to return to the others now that they knew the location of the lair, when a sudden noise from the giants made them stop.
A loud raucous erupted from the cavern. It sounded as if an argument were taking place, although it was difficult to tell from the primitive grunts and yells that composed their language. One of the guards left to check on things and soon returned, calling the other inside. The guard glanced about briefly, and the humans ducked down carefully, but he did not see anything of interest, and followed the first guard inside.
“We should go.” Janette said, and Calistor turned to see Janette preparing to leave. “If the women are in there, the longer we wait the less chance they have.” Calistor nodded, and they crept backwards away from the cave. When they were far enough away, they got up and began running back at a slow jog.
Suddenly a massive blast of heat exploded behind them, sending them sprawling to the ground. They looked up, their ears ringing, their backs burning from the heat and their face frigid from the snow. They rushed to their feet, shaking the snow from their head, and turned to see smoke billowing up from over the ridge. They looked at each other briefly, and ran back up the snowdrift. They stood at the top, looking in awe as white flames licked out of the entrance to the cavern. As their hearing returned, they heard a horrible inhuman scream and a giant burst forth from the entrance, desperately patting out the flames that scorched his back.
The smell of burning flesh immediately invaded their nostrils, and they covered their noses instinctively as the creature dropped to the ground, gave one last guttural moan before collapsing, dead. As suddenly as they appeared, the flames retracted, and the heat was gone. The snow continued to fall, and they were assailed by the frightening silence of death.
As one they stepped forward, listening for any signs of life. They stepped gingerly around the burning carcass of the giant, and looked down into the ice cavern. A deep pool of water lay at the bottom, and the entrance had nearly doubled in size, the ice having melted due to the heat. They synched up their waterproof sealskin boots and stepped down into the cave, the warm glow of embers lighting their way here and there along their path.
They waded through the water through a short hallway and soon came to a large cavern with a high ceiling. The enclave was dimly lit by the burning corpses at their feet, and the horrible stench nearly made them gag. The sound of splashing water drew their attention, and they turned to see some huddled forms in the water ahead.
“Catharine? Joya?” Janette called into the semi-darkness, her hand hovering cautiously over her sword.
A woman’s voice broke the silence. “I-It’s me! W-we’re here!” Her words came out disjointed and in a stutter, whether from the shock or the heat or the cold they were not sure. But they breathed a sigh of relief, for they recognized clearly Catharine’s voice.
They rushed forward to find Joya clinging fearfully to her mother, who looked stunned. She looked down at her feet and they noticed for the first time the unconscious form of a young woman lying on her back. Calistor checked for a pulse, and found she was alive. Catharine tugged at his sleeve, and gestured to the unconscious woman’s hands. He saw she had something clutched tightly in a firm grip. Curious, he pried open her hand. In it lay a Fahlatian Crystal, larger than any he had ever dreamed to see.
Working title: The Woman of Ice
Prologue
Chapter One
Arthur Dewing surveyed the blood-stained snow before him with a combination of anger and dismay. Before him laid the smoldering remains of the Ensley household. Henry Ensley was a barely recognizable smear on the frozen ground, surrounded by massive blood-stained footprints that had nearly disappeared beneath the freshly fallen snow. The footprints belonged to the savage giants that called the Fahlatian Ice Field to the north their home. His wife, Catherine, and daughter, Joya, were nowhere to be seen, and Arthur feared the worst.
Arthur’s home was here, in the country of Colinwood, and as a captain of the Border Patrol, it was his sworn duty to stop exactly this from happening. The ice sheet to the north was home to all manner of unspeakable horrors, and it was his responsibility to protect the people of Collinwood from raids such as this. He was a battle-worn veteran from the territory wars with the Azardian nation to the south of years past, and was a natural choice for the position. He thought back now, trying to find some moment of his life that was comparable to the animal savagery that was displayed before him.
The sound of crunching snow behind him drew his attention and he turned to see Borris Annor hurrying up the road towards him. The young man had recently moved from the Azardian nation with his family, and was not yet comfortable with the frigid winters this far north. Although it had been many years since the territory wars ended, when Borris first displayed interest to join the border patrol, Arthur was suspicious. Over the last few years however, he had earned Arthur’s trust a hundred times over, proving himself to be a loyal soldier and a keen-minded fighter.
Borris never did adjust to the bone-chilling winters of Collinwood, and although he was bundled head to toe in furs and skins, Arthur could clearly see his discomfort. “I came as soon as I saw the smoke.” He said breathlessly when he stood before Arthur. He turned wide-eyed to the disfigured body that was once Henry Ensley, a skilled hunter and fisherman, loyal member of the community, and loving husband and father. He turned back to Arthur. “Catherine and the girl?”
Arthur shook his head. “I am not sure. Jeremy is checking for them now.”
Jeremy, the youngest member of their team, emerged from the wreckage now, his face covered in soot. He shook his head miserably. There was no sign of the women. Jeremy was a young, handsome fellow from Allana, Collinwood’s capital city. He was an aspiring knight, one of a long line if Arthur remembered correctly, and part of every knight’s training in early years was duty on the border patrol. This was the first incident since his arrival, and he was clearly shaken.
When Jeremy returned, Arthur immediately took charge. “With no evidence to suggest otherwise, we have to assume the women have been taken hostage. It will be our duty to retrieve them and dispose of the creatures responsible for this.”
Jeremy glanced back towards the wreckage warily before he spoke. “Just us, sir?”
Arthur shook his head. “Calistor and Janette are tracking the beasts as we speak. With any luck they will return shortly and we will be able to put a plan in action.”
Jeremy and Borris nodded solemnly. The footprints had nearly faded, covered up by the heavy snowfall. Soon they would be lost. They had no choice but to wait for the others return.
Two human forms huddled on the edge of a snow dune warily. Calistor and Janette had tracked the beasts over the tundra, up the steep edge of the frozen cliff face, and onto the barren, snow-covered Fahlatian Ice Sheet that marked the giant’s homeland. Nearly three hundred years ago, the ice sheet approached from the mountain ranges far to the north, flattening the grand Fahlatian Empire in a matter of months. The giants, who at that time had only called the mountains their home, expanded, claiming the frozen land as their home. Legends told that God had granted the Fahlatian’s with Crystals imbued with great power. But the Fahlatian’s greed made them corrupt the Crystals, enhancing their powers with the spirits of the dead. The stories say God punished them for their hubris, bringing the ice down from the mountains to crush them. Although he knew the Crystals did indeed exist, Calistor never put much stock in the myths and legends that parents told their children at night.
Calistor Onnick was a man of science, and it was only by chance that he had been drawn into service as a member of the border patrol just over a year ago. He was an explorer, an expert as scouring the hills south of the ice sheet for traces of the Crystals - for traces were all that remained after the ice sheet crushed the Empire. Few whole crystals remained, and were coveted by the rich and the powerful, and sold in secret on the black market. People would, and have, killed for that power. Wars had been fought and countless lives sacrificed for control of that power. What Calistor found were crushed and broken fragments of the Crystals in the glacial sediments. While these held much less power than the full crystals, they proved a useful source of fuel for several common-day uses.
It was during one of these expeditions he first had met Janette, and been dragged into the terrifying life of a border patrolman. He was just south of the wall of ice, collecting samples from a moraine, when the sounds of shattering ice drew his attention northward. He turned in surprise to see a huge cascade of ice crashing to the ground. He looked up, and was shocked to see a person clinging desperately to the edge of the ice, a massive giant sood menacingly over them. Horror struck him to the core as one of the creatures raised his massive limbs and brought them down on the ice with a thunderous crash. The ground shook, and he could hear the creature’s guttural laughter as the person struggled to keep hold of the ledge. Cruelly, it was toying with her.
Instinct took over and he threw off his pack, sprinting towards the wall of ice. He stood at the base of the ice, looking 50 feet above him to the dangling form of tormented victim. The person looked down, and as their eyes met he saw she was a woman, her panic clear in her eyes. Adrenaline suddenly pumped through his veins, giving him strength he had not known before. He removed the rock hammer and chisel from his belt and, using them as he would an ice pick, began scaling the sheer face of the wall towards the woman.
He was nearly ten feet off the ground when another crash shook the wall. Ice sprinkled from above and he clung tight to the wall, praying his impromptu ice picks held. He looked up to ensure she was still there, and resumed his climbing. When he was almost twenty feet off the ground, another crash shook the wall, and he heard a scream from up above. He reached out with one hand desperately to grab at the falling form. He caught her in one hand, and her descent was abruptly stopped. For a fraction of a second they were dangling from the wall, supported by the rock hammer.
But their combined weight proved to be too much, and they suddenly found themselves free-falling as the hammer broke away from the ice. They plummeted to the ground, and the woman fell heavily on him. Calistor instinctively reached down to break his fall, and felt his arm snap painfully before blackness took hold of him.
He awoke three days later, alone in an unfamiliar place, with his arm in a splint and bandages all over his torso and head. He called out hoarsely, and the woman from the ledge entered the room, a look of relief on her face. He soon found out her name was Janette Appes, and she was a member of the border patrol. She was separated from her team in a skirmish, and it was eventually her team that found them, broken and battered, at the base of the wall. Hearing of his courage, Arthur recruited Calistor once he was recovered, and soon discovered that he was a skilled tracker and hunter, and a valuable asset to the team. Calistor had never looked back.
His arm had never fully healed, and Calistor thought back on this now as he and Janette crept slowly over the crest of the snow dune to peer down on the ruthless giants. They saw two massive guards wielding clubs as tall as pines standing over a stairwell that was carved into the ice. Human heads on stakes marked the short path to the entrance. He looked over and caught Janette’s eyes. She gestured behind them. He nodded. They began backing up slowly; meaning to return to the others now that they knew the location of the lair, when a sudden noise from the giants made them stop.
A loud raucous erupted from the cavern. It sounded as if an argument were taking place, although it was difficult to tell from the primitive grunts and yells that composed their language. One of the guards left to check on things and soon returned, calling the other inside. The guard glanced about briefly, and the humans ducked down carefully, but he did not see anything of interest, and followed the first guard inside.
“We should go.” Janette said, and Calistor turned to see Janette preparing to leave. “If the women are in there, the longer we wait the less chance they have.” Calistor nodded, and they crept backwards away from the cave. When they were far enough away, they got up and began running back at a slow jog.
Suddenly a massive blast of heat exploded behind them, sending them sprawling to the ground. They looked up, their ears ringing, their backs burning from the heat and their face frigid from the snow. They rushed to their feet, shaking the snow from their head, and turned to see smoke billowing up from over the ridge. They looked at each other briefly, and ran back up the snowdrift. They stood at the top, looking in awe as white flames licked out of the entrance to the cavern. As their hearing returned, they heard a horrible inhuman scream and a giant burst forth from the entrance, desperately patting out the flames that scorched his back.
The smell of burning flesh immediately invaded their nostrils, and they covered their noses instinctively as the creature dropped to the ground, gave one last guttural moan before collapsing, dead. As suddenly as they appeared, the flames retracted, and the heat was gone. The snow continued to fall, and they were assailed by the frightening silence of death.
As one they stepped forward, listening for any signs of life. They stepped gingerly around the burning carcass of the giant, and looked down into the ice cavern. A deep pool of water lay at the bottom, and the entrance had nearly doubled in size, the ice having melted due to the heat. They synched up their waterproof sealskin boots and stepped down into the cave, the warm glow of embers lighting their way here and there along their path.
They waded through the water through a short hallway and soon came to a large cavern with a high ceiling. The enclave was dimly lit by the burning corpses at their feet, and the horrible stench nearly made them gag. The sound of splashing water drew their attention, and they turned to see some huddled forms in the water ahead.
“Catharine? Joya?” Janette called into the semi-darkness, her hand hovering cautiously over her sword.
A woman’s voice broke the silence. “I-It’s me! W-we’re here!” Her words came out disjointed and in a stutter, whether from the shock or the heat or the cold they were not sure. But they breathed a sigh of relief, for they recognized clearly Catharine’s voice.
They rushed forward to find Joya clinging fearfully to her mother, who looked stunned. She looked down at her feet and they noticed for the first time the unconscious form of a young woman lying on her back. Calistor checked for a pulse, and found she was alive. Catharine tugged at his sleeve, and gestured to the unconscious woman’s hands. He saw she had something clutched tightly in a firm grip. Curious, he pried open her hand. In it lay a Fahlatian Crystal, larger than any he had ever dreamed to see.