Patriotic Reprobate
(?)Community Member
- Posted: Tue, 31 Dec 2013 16:19:04 +0000
I've just had an influx of emotions, realising how deep I am in a pit of loneliness right now.
Before you click away, no, I'm not asking for sympathy. However; I have just wrote something that has become the product of my brief sadness and I would like to develop on it, as this is the only writing I've done that I, truly believe came from the heart.
I would really appreciate it if you read it, commented on how it could be improved and how much you like/dislike it at its' current stage. Cheers.
I know that she doesn't want me. Yet I still refuse to believe this. Just another face in the crowd, a silent whisper amongst many, a murmer that would fall on her deaf ears, a shadow that isn't even noticed. She knows so little, yet I wish for so much, she sees so little, yet I wish... for so much.
This guise that haunts me, a mask I put on - an uncomfortable fit but a mask that matches the social agenda, a camouflage, a disguise that will feed modern society's expectations and display me as something perfect, or close to perfect, as perfect or great I could be, feelings I don't have, spending money I don't have to impress people I don't like to be known by one girl that doesn't, even, know.
It's ironic, the dismal thoughts that engulf my mind, overtaking everything else like a tsunami of emotion crashing down and hiding every other positive thought that would ever enter my head, yet it is this tsunami that is the foundation that I base my disguise off of, the reason that I act this way, the reason that I hide my true self to gain even the slightest chance of that person seeing me in even a slight glimpse, a reflection of light that catches their eye that would lead them even noticing a fraction of how I see them.
Sadly, this is the truth that I have become accustomed to; I'm not happy with how it is, but glad that I have no less, for I know that despite being a face in the crowd I am content with the fact that there is a chance, no matter how small, there is still this chance that I will be seen, noticed: and this is the reason, the dream that I hold on to, and it is the reason I'm still going. It's the power that drives me towards the end. However, the sad part is that most likely this fantasy will remain a fantasy, and no matter how believable I see the fantasy, it will still remain a fantasy - a small chance at becoming reality.
Yet I still refuse to believe this.
-Jack
P.S: I'm fifteen, so I know this isn't the most amazing piece of writing you will ever feast your eyes upon, I also know it's not a masterpiece because I wrote it at 3am in about three minutes, so please give me constructive feedback instead of bashing it, if you would. Thank you very much smile
Before you click away, no, I'm not asking for sympathy. However; I have just wrote something that has become the product of my brief sadness and I would like to develop on it, as this is the only writing I've done that I, truly believe came from the heart.
I would really appreciate it if you read it, commented on how it could be improved and how much you like/dislike it at its' current stage. Cheers.
I know that she doesn't want me. Yet I still refuse to believe this. Just another face in the crowd, a silent whisper amongst many, a murmer that would fall on her deaf ears, a shadow that isn't even noticed. She knows so little, yet I wish for so much, she sees so little, yet I wish... for so much.
This guise that haunts me, a mask I put on - an uncomfortable fit but a mask that matches the social agenda, a camouflage, a disguise that will feed modern society's expectations and display me as something perfect, or close to perfect, as perfect or great I could be, feelings I don't have, spending money I don't have to impress people I don't like to be known by one girl that doesn't, even, know.
It's ironic, the dismal thoughts that engulf my mind, overtaking everything else like a tsunami of emotion crashing down and hiding every other positive thought that would ever enter my head, yet it is this tsunami that is the foundation that I base my disguise off of, the reason that I act this way, the reason that I hide my true self to gain even the slightest chance of that person seeing me in even a slight glimpse, a reflection of light that catches their eye that would lead them even noticing a fraction of how I see them.
Sadly, this is the truth that I have become accustomed to; I'm not happy with how it is, but glad that I have no less, for I know that despite being a face in the crowd I am content with the fact that there is a chance, no matter how small, there is still this chance that I will be seen, noticed: and this is the reason, the dream that I hold on to, and it is the reason I'm still going. It's the power that drives me towards the end. However, the sad part is that most likely this fantasy will remain a fantasy, and no matter how believable I see the fantasy, it will still remain a fantasy - a small chance at becoming reality.
Yet I still refuse to believe this.
-Jack
P.S: I'm fifteen, so I know this isn't the most amazing piece of writing you will ever feast your eyes upon, I also know it's not a masterpiece because I wrote it at 3am in about three minutes, so please give me constructive feedback instead of bashing it, if you would. Thank you very much smile