Pho Far East
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Pregnancy Tests
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- Posted: Fri, 17 Oct 2014 04:47:31 +0000
Well then it is page 7 and your other one is also ready so Halloween huh? Okay.. I plan to stay in aftter taking the babies out <3
MusicalPoet
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- Posted: Fri, 17 Oct 2014 10:22:36 +0000
Pho Far East
MusicalPoet
Pho Far East
MusicalPoet
▌♬ I'm just a fun little lollipop...
♩Page 7 you say? Lemme just move things along rofl
triple dipped in psycho.♬ ▌
Haha, don't worry. It's just around the corner. (I thinkkk)
Also, are you subscribed?
▌♬ I'm just a fun little lollipop...
♩Why, yes I am! Read all three chapters in a little over 30 minutes and was like "Where's the rest!? classified_fu "
But it's a great piece C:
But it's a great piece C:
triple dipped in psycho.♬ ▌
Yay, thank you! I'm glad that you are enjoying it. whee heart
EDITED: Yay, page 7!! I'm posting the next chapter on Halloween. Promise.
❝Awww yiss I can't wait! emotion_dowant ❞
Pho Far East
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- Posted: Fri, 17 Oct 2014 21:24:14 +0000
Pregnancy Tests
Well then it is page 7 and your other one is also ready so Halloween huh? Okay.. I plan to stay in aftter taking the babies out <3
MusicalPoet
❝Awww yiss I can't wait! emotion_dowant ❞
Yess, definitely on Halloween. It's on emotion_dowant heart
Quank
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- Posted: Sat, 01 Nov 2014 07:56:19 +0000
IT's Halloween. ;-:
Dilf_Lov3r
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- Posted: Sat, 01 Nov 2014 19:04:09 +0000
Omg emotion_kirakira any minute now heart 3nodding
Pho Far East
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- Posted: Sun, 02 Nov 2014 05:20:24 +0000
Sorry guys!! I was doing some last minute editing last night and then right in the middle of doing it, I flat out passed out asleep. x_x
The struggle of a busy life.
Thank you for waiting! Sorry again.
Chapter Four
I had to brush my dark hazel hair with a brush before I was going to get out of this room. I decided I didn't want to just hang in Steven parent's room anymore so maybe I should give Gary a visit. Steven was right, he was just in there playing emo guy songs and then angry guy screaming music that I could hear through the walls. It wasn't pretty to listen to either. I slowly opened my door and slowly closed it behind me. I was trying not to make a sound. These walls aren't very sound proof, it was apparent by now.
I silently walked over to Gary's room, and I knew knocking wasn't going to do anything, he probably wouldn't hear it. The music was that loud. So I guess, here I go again, seeing if I can open the door to the unknown. I grabbed the door knob, slowly turning it and found that it wasn't locked. You would think he would learn by now. I shook my head a little, continued turning it and then slowly opened the door to darkness. The lights weren't on, I automatically noticed.
"Hey Gary?" I asked as I popped my head in. It was really dark. The only light I could see was the lights from his laptop buttons that was playing some song about some guy who was threatening to beat other guy up. I couldn't see anything and I probably wouldn't hear anything unless Gary answers loudly. Could he even hear me? "Gary?" I asked once more but louder.
"What are you doing in here?" I then heard Gary shout at me which made me jump and then I saw the laptop screen light up, revealing Gary and his bed and then he paused his music so we wouldn't have to shout over it to hear each other.
"Uh..." I started to answer and I slowly backed into the wall, turning to it away from Gary, with my hands I searched it trying to find the light switch, and when I did, I turned on the lights. "I just... wanted to see how you were doing." I answered as I turned back to him. I could see his room wasn't that messy but it wasn't that organized either. No garbage was around but just things like his clothes were laying around. I had to admit it was kind of weird being in his room.
"I'm good, now turn off the lights." Gary just said back as he got hist back on his bed that had white covers and almost the same blanket except this one was more orange. I couldn't help but sigh a bit. One of Gary's moods again where if something was wrong, he'll just shut everyone out.
I turned off the lights and slowly made my way to his bed. Nothing was on the floor for me to trip on, I made sure of that. I had my hands in front of me though and was trying to feel whenever I reached the bed. "What are you doing in here still?" Gary asked when I reached the bed, feeling the blanket.
He must've felt me reaching the bed too. "I just want to talk." I answered as I sat on the bed. "Tell me.... what's wrong?" I have to admit, this wasn't my ideal situation to be in, in Gary's room, in the dark, sitting on his bed, and it was all quiet. One thing I knew I wasn't going to do was move around or touch anything. So I was just going to sit here like a stone.
"Get out." Gary demanded. "Now."
"Gary..." I started to say but then Gary pushed me on to his bed, making me lay my back. I could see faintly that he was on top of me. This again. Oh lord.
"I told you to get out. Last chance, get out." Gary said angrily but he didn't budge, he was still there in front of me, on me. I didn't budge either. I didn't dare to.
"What made you so mad?" I asked as I lifted my hands into the darkness, I had to hold him back somehow just in case, and I could feel that I made it over to his chest. Okay, maybe I didn't think this through good enough.
"Don't touch me." He quickly said as he moved off me which made me lift myself off the bed. Dang, this freaking dark room. I slowly moved my hands around the area I knew his laptop should be, I pushed on some keys on the keyboard, and suddenly, a bright light came from the screen once more and then I turned back at Gary. He was still on his bed but leaning on the wall, towards me.
I slowly made my way next to him, "Talk to me." I said once more as I leaned my back on the wall also. Gary was wearing his black hoodie and had his hoodie up on his head, covering his face away from me. I slowly lifted my right hand up and touched his shoulder but that just made him move his shoulder away from me. "What's wrong?"
Which made Gary just take a big loud sigh and looked over at me. "Sorry, but I really don't feel like talking right now." And then he got off his bed, walked over to his door and opened it. He looked back at me and said, "Goodnight."
"Okay... you win this time." I said as I got off the bed also and walked over to the door but before I got out of the room, I stood right in front of him. "But this isn't over." And then I walked out the room with the door closing right behind me. So much for that..
I sighed in defeat and then walked over to Steven's room. I took another sigh and then knocked on the door. I definitely wasn't about to see if his door was unlocked and that I could just walk in again. Nope, wasn't going to make that mistake or get that flashback. "Hey Steven, it's Abby. Are you up still?"
"Second. I'll meet you over your room." Steven replied.
"No, it's okay." I said as I took some steps away. Bad idea to go back in his room or in my room now that I thought about it. "I was just coming over to say goodnight."
But then Steven opened his door, wearing a plain white shirt and bright blue shorts, and leaned on his door, "Do you want a goodnight kiss?"
"Um.. no." I replied as I took couple steps closer to my room. "Goodnight."
Steven just smiled at me wider and said back, "Goodnight, sweet dreams."
"You too." And with that, I quickly opened my door and walked in, making sure to lock it behind me. Okay, something was definitely up with all of them, I had to find out, maybe it would resolve all of this. This weekend was the perfect time to find out what but if only they weren't being so secretive about it.
"You're next, Abby! Spin the bottle!" It was Claire's birthday and she wanted to play spin the bottle while her mom was getting everything cleaned up in the living room. We were in her room and everyone wanted to play spin the bottle and then end up kissing in the closet. I didn't want to but I also didn't want to be the only one who wasn't going to play along.
I shallowed some spit as I slowly reached over to the empty plastic bottle of coke and when I touched it, butterflies were exploding in my stomach. There wasn't anyone I wanted to kiss at the party, I didn't even have my first kiss and it just had to happen this way. So much for romantic.
"Spin! Spin! Spin!" Everyone from our class, yes, she invited everyone from our class, started chanting and then I spin the bottle, making it turn a bit to the left and then a few more turns it stopped on Tommy West. Oh god. I mean, at least he wasn't bad looking but .... he wasn't someone I would've picked to be the first to lock lips with.
"Here you go." Claire said as she opened her closet. It wasn't too bad, some shoes at the bottom and all of her clothes were moved to one side of the closet, leaving good enough space. I slowly stood up and quickly glanced over at Tommy, I wondered if he was nervous too.
I walked in the closet first and Tommy followed suit. "Have fun you two." Claire said as she closed the door and here we were in the dark. We then could hear laughing and them talking on the other side of the door.
"So..." I started to say as I looked around at nothing but the darkness.
"Go for it Tommy!" Suddenly we heard someone yell and then more laughing. I have to admit, at that moment my heart was beating so hard. What was going to happen? Okay, dumb question to ask but ...
And then I felt hands on my cheeks a few seconds later. "No!" I said as I took some steps away. Okay, maybe I truly didn't want this. I just said that so abruptly, I couldn't even hold it back, I really hoped they didn't hear but they were too busy talking about and laughing about something out there still.
"You don't have to. We're good." I said as I quickly reached over to the door to find the door knob and opened it. Yeah, I ended up escaping from my first kiss in the closet.
"So how was it?" Claire asked from where she was sitting on the floor.
"Okay." I lied and I looked over at Tommy who was walking right behind me but was looking straight at me with a very serious expression, I had to turn back around to break the eye contact.
"Okay, Melissa, you're next." And with that, they let it go. I thought I was off the hook. Till when the party ended and everyone leaving Claire's room, talking about how it sucked to go back to school tomorrow. I stayed behind, cleaning some of the left over garbage they left behind.
"Hey Abby?" I heard someone say behind me. I quickly looked and saw that it was Tommy.
"Hey." I said nervously back as I grabbed a empty cup and threw it in the garbage bin that I had in my left hand but then Tommy quickly took the bin out of my hands, grabbed me by the shoulders, and lightly kissed me on the lips.
And it only lasted for a second and somehow I managed to close my eyes during that time because when I opened them, he was already done and let go of my shoulders. "That's all." He said as he then walked out the door with the others. I touched my lips with the back of my right hand and that was how I got my first kiss.
"Our sleeping beauty sure likes to sleep, should one of us go in there and kiss her to wake her up? I'm sure that would be the trick to. You first." Suddenly, I heard Steven voice from right outside my door, instantly waking me up. Ugh, this unsound proof house. I never stayed in this house long enough for it to be problem but now it is.
"Shut up." I then heard Gary say as I couldn't help but laugh a bit. "Just let her sleep."
"Fine, I have to go to the grocery store and get more eggs for breakfast anyways. You want anything while I'm out?" Steven then asked as I could hear him walking away.
"Nah, I'm good. I'm going out for a jog." Gary replied as he started to walk away from my door too.
"Okay, write a note just in case she wakes up before one of us gets back." Steven then said. I'm guessing they were still in the hall, in front of the rooms. It was okay, it was interesting hearing them talk but after that, all I heard was one of them walking away and one of them going in their room. It made me wonder how they were like living together.
I slowly got off the bed and got my phone out to look at the time, it was ten in the morning. I should text mom, I thought as I wrote, "Hey mom, still okay over here. Hard at work with the project last night and more to do tonight." And pushed send.
Then I heard the front door slammed closed. I wonder if they both left yet. The room didn't have a window for me to look out at. Oh well. I slowly walked over to my door and placed my ear on it but nothing else was happening. Now I was at Steven's house alone, this was going to be interesting.
I grabbed my brush that I left on the drawer and started brushing my hair. I never knew Steven liked my hair when it was longer. Too bad I chopped it off and now it just reached a little bit past my shoulders. I have to admit as I looked around the room through the mirror, it was weird that I was staying in Steven parent's room.
What if one day I meet them and then in the back of my head, I'll remember that I stayed in their room, on their bed, while they were gone and they would never know. Ugh, stop overthinking, it will be okay. I told myself as I bended down to my suitcase and got out some black shorts that reached close to my knees and a purple tank top.
I really didn't want to stay in their room anymore though, I so had to see the rest of the house and it's emptiness. So once I brushed my teeth and changed, I slowly opened my door and tried to see if I could hear anything but nothing. I then tipped toed out of the room and closed the door behind me. Something smells good, I thought as I slowly walked over to the living room which was empty and looked out the window, Gary's truck was still here but Steven's car was gone. It was a white car that was a four door but he rarely drove it unless he was by himself or something, he mainly rode with Gary.
"What should I do now?" I wondered to myself out loud as I started to walk away from the window. I wondered if they already ate breakfast or made something to eat yet, smells like they did. Oh well, I wasn't that hungry yet since I just woke up. So I've been to the kitchen, nothing new. Been downstairs where the washer and dryer is, nothing new either. No way was I going in their rooms. I guess I should go outside. It wasn't like I went out there a lot. So I opened the back door sliding door and closed it behind me. It was nice today, sunny with a nice breeze.
It wasn't a big backyard, the patio was all cement with flower pots all around the edges. The grass was nice and green and mowed. Steven did a good job holding down the fort alright. There was medium sized tree right in the middle with the leaves all green and moving along with the wind. The best part was that they also had a bench swing on the patio also.
I smiled happily and sat on the bench, carefully not to fall off of it as it swing back a bit. It was wood bench but had this polish on it that made it so shiny and new looking. I leaned back and just moved the bench back and forth with my big toe. It was nice and peaceful and it was warm thanks to some of the sun's ray. I closed my eyes and enjoyed the warm quietness.
"I can't believe we're all getting separated!" Claire said loudly as she started to wipe her eyes. It was the last day of school, the last day of us being middle schoolers. We had a end of the year party, everyone brought food, watched movies, and enjoyed each other's company but it was all going to be over now. The last moments were upon us.
"Calm down, some of us are just going to different high schools. We can always keep in touch." Melissa said as she picked up a potato and dipped it in some french onion dip. They were both lucky though, they looked really pretty. They had nothing to worry about unlike me. I remember me thinking as I looked at them. Claire was still crying, her blonde curling bouncing with every move.
Melissa just rolled her eyes and bite into her chip. She had long wavy black hair, we had the same length but her's was better. My hair was long, reaching to the lower back but it was plain compared to her's. "Yeah right, that's what they all say! We all are just going to go on with our lives and we'll probably never talk again and haven't you seen all the shows, things happen in high school that could change our lives forever!" Claire replied as she got some white napkins off her desk to wipe her eyes.
"Doubt that." Melissa simply answered as she picked up another potato chip. I just smiled at Melissa and then looked down at my plate that had some chips, pretzel, and a chocolate cupcake. I picked up a pretzel and placed it in my mouth and as I looked up, I saw Tommy walk over to me.
"Hey." He said when he reached my desk as I was quickly chewing the pretzel. "Which high school are you going to next year?" He asked as I manage to shallow without choking. Since our whole kiss thing, we still really didn't talk much except for the average greet here and then. Still kind of awkward now that I think about it.
"Fairview High, how about you?" I asked back as I grabbed my white plastic cup that had fruit punch in it and drank some. He pushed his hands into his khaki pant pockets and looked down. "Oh... you're going to a different one?" I asked as he lift his head back up. His short black hair was nicely combed and not messy at all like some guys in the class.
"Yeah, I'm going to South Sanford High." Tommy replied as he leaned back on one of the desk that were nearby. Even though, I didn't want him to be my first kiss, he wasn't too bad. He wasn't like the other guys who would make fun of people. I remember feeling sad that we were going to go into different ways.
"Oh." I started to say as I looked back down at my plate and then I quickly looked back up and continued, "I hope..." But then I didn't know what to say. I hope you do good at your new school? I hope you meet new people? I hope .... we meet again?
"Yeah, me too." Tommy said a few seconds later and then lift his hand on top of my shoulder. "See you around... Abby." Claire was right though. We did all went our own ways. I mean I do see like one or two of my old classmates but it was only in the halls now and we don't really talk. Luckily, I met Gary and Steven that following school year so I don't miss any of them. I rarely remember the past anymore, it was the past after all, and we all are just strangers with memories now but.... I wonder how they all are doing and how much things have changed for them as much as it did for me. I wish I really knew at the time how we all would probably never see each other again, maybe I would've spent more time making memories with them, but it was good I didn't or else I would've cried just like Claire.
And to thank you guys for waiting, I'm giving out 10mill till Friday, November 7. Just send a trade labeled, TRICK OR TREAT. heart
The struggle of a busy life.
Thank you for waiting! Sorry again.
Chapter Four
I had to brush my dark hazel hair with a brush before I was going to get out of this room. I decided I didn't want to just hang in Steven parent's room anymore so maybe I should give Gary a visit. Steven was right, he was just in there playing emo guy songs and then angry guy screaming music that I could hear through the walls. It wasn't pretty to listen to either. I slowly opened my door and slowly closed it behind me. I was trying not to make a sound. These walls aren't very sound proof, it was apparent by now.
I silently walked over to Gary's room, and I knew knocking wasn't going to do anything, he probably wouldn't hear it. The music was that loud. So I guess, here I go again, seeing if I can open the door to the unknown. I grabbed the door knob, slowly turning it and found that it wasn't locked. You would think he would learn by now. I shook my head a little, continued turning it and then slowly opened the door to darkness. The lights weren't on, I automatically noticed.
"Hey Gary?" I asked as I popped my head in. It was really dark. The only light I could see was the lights from his laptop buttons that was playing some song about some guy who was threatening to beat other guy up. I couldn't see anything and I probably wouldn't hear anything unless Gary answers loudly. Could he even hear me? "Gary?" I asked once more but louder.
"What are you doing in here?" I then heard Gary shout at me which made me jump and then I saw the laptop screen light up, revealing Gary and his bed and then he paused his music so we wouldn't have to shout over it to hear each other.
"Uh..." I started to answer and I slowly backed into the wall, turning to it away from Gary, with my hands I searched it trying to find the light switch, and when I did, I turned on the lights. "I just... wanted to see how you were doing." I answered as I turned back to him. I could see his room wasn't that messy but it wasn't that organized either. No garbage was around but just things like his clothes were laying around. I had to admit it was kind of weird being in his room.
"I'm good, now turn off the lights." Gary just said back as he got hist back on his bed that had white covers and almost the same blanket except this one was more orange. I couldn't help but sigh a bit. One of Gary's moods again where if something was wrong, he'll just shut everyone out.
I turned off the lights and slowly made my way to his bed. Nothing was on the floor for me to trip on, I made sure of that. I had my hands in front of me though and was trying to feel whenever I reached the bed. "What are you doing in here still?" Gary asked when I reached the bed, feeling the blanket.
He must've felt me reaching the bed too. "I just want to talk." I answered as I sat on the bed. "Tell me.... what's wrong?" I have to admit, this wasn't my ideal situation to be in, in Gary's room, in the dark, sitting on his bed, and it was all quiet. One thing I knew I wasn't going to do was move around or touch anything. So I was just going to sit here like a stone.
"Get out." Gary demanded. "Now."
"Gary..." I started to say but then Gary pushed me on to his bed, making me lay my back. I could see faintly that he was on top of me. This again. Oh lord.
"I told you to get out. Last chance, get out." Gary said angrily but he didn't budge, he was still there in front of me, on me. I didn't budge either. I didn't dare to.
"What made you so mad?" I asked as I lifted my hands into the darkness, I had to hold him back somehow just in case, and I could feel that I made it over to his chest. Okay, maybe I didn't think this through good enough.
"Don't touch me." He quickly said as he moved off me which made me lift myself off the bed. Dang, this freaking dark room. I slowly moved my hands around the area I knew his laptop should be, I pushed on some keys on the keyboard, and suddenly, a bright light came from the screen once more and then I turned back at Gary. He was still on his bed but leaning on the wall, towards me.
I slowly made my way next to him, "Talk to me." I said once more as I leaned my back on the wall also. Gary was wearing his black hoodie and had his hoodie up on his head, covering his face away from me. I slowly lifted my right hand up and touched his shoulder but that just made him move his shoulder away from me. "What's wrong?"
Which made Gary just take a big loud sigh and looked over at me. "Sorry, but I really don't feel like talking right now." And then he got off his bed, walked over to his door and opened it. He looked back at me and said, "Goodnight."
"Okay... you win this time." I said as I got off the bed also and walked over to the door but before I got out of the room, I stood right in front of him. "But this isn't over." And then I walked out the room with the door closing right behind me. So much for that..
I sighed in defeat and then walked over to Steven's room. I took another sigh and then knocked on the door. I definitely wasn't about to see if his door was unlocked and that I could just walk in again. Nope, wasn't going to make that mistake or get that flashback. "Hey Steven, it's Abby. Are you up still?"
"Second. I'll meet you over your room." Steven replied.
"No, it's okay." I said as I took some steps away. Bad idea to go back in his room or in my room now that I thought about it. "I was just coming over to say goodnight."
But then Steven opened his door, wearing a plain white shirt and bright blue shorts, and leaned on his door, "Do you want a goodnight kiss?"
"Um.. no." I replied as I took couple steps closer to my room. "Goodnight."
Steven just smiled at me wider and said back, "Goodnight, sweet dreams."
"You too." And with that, I quickly opened my door and walked in, making sure to lock it behind me. Okay, something was definitely up with all of them, I had to find out, maybe it would resolve all of this. This weekend was the perfect time to find out what but if only they weren't being so secretive about it.
"You're next, Abby! Spin the bottle!" It was Claire's birthday and she wanted to play spin the bottle while her mom was getting everything cleaned up in the living room. We were in her room and everyone wanted to play spin the bottle and then end up kissing in the closet. I didn't want to but I also didn't want to be the only one who wasn't going to play along.
I shallowed some spit as I slowly reached over to the empty plastic bottle of coke and when I touched it, butterflies were exploding in my stomach. There wasn't anyone I wanted to kiss at the party, I didn't even have my first kiss and it just had to happen this way. So much for romantic.
"Spin! Spin! Spin!" Everyone from our class, yes, she invited everyone from our class, started chanting and then I spin the bottle, making it turn a bit to the left and then a few more turns it stopped on Tommy West. Oh god. I mean, at least he wasn't bad looking but .... he wasn't someone I would've picked to be the first to lock lips with.
"Here you go." Claire said as she opened her closet. It wasn't too bad, some shoes at the bottom and all of her clothes were moved to one side of the closet, leaving good enough space. I slowly stood up and quickly glanced over at Tommy, I wondered if he was nervous too.
I walked in the closet first and Tommy followed suit. "Have fun you two." Claire said as she closed the door and here we were in the dark. We then could hear laughing and them talking on the other side of the door.
"So..." I started to say as I looked around at nothing but the darkness.
"Go for it Tommy!" Suddenly we heard someone yell and then more laughing. I have to admit, at that moment my heart was beating so hard. What was going to happen? Okay, dumb question to ask but ...
And then I felt hands on my cheeks a few seconds later. "No!" I said as I took some steps away. Okay, maybe I truly didn't want this. I just said that so abruptly, I couldn't even hold it back, I really hoped they didn't hear but they were too busy talking about and laughing about something out there still.
"You don't have to. We're good." I said as I quickly reached over to the door to find the door knob and opened it. Yeah, I ended up escaping from my first kiss in the closet.
"So how was it?" Claire asked from where she was sitting on the floor.
"Okay." I lied and I looked over at Tommy who was walking right behind me but was looking straight at me with a very serious expression, I had to turn back around to break the eye contact.
"Okay, Melissa, you're next." And with that, they let it go. I thought I was off the hook. Till when the party ended and everyone leaving Claire's room, talking about how it sucked to go back to school tomorrow. I stayed behind, cleaning some of the left over garbage they left behind.
"Hey Abby?" I heard someone say behind me. I quickly looked and saw that it was Tommy.
"Hey." I said nervously back as I grabbed a empty cup and threw it in the garbage bin that I had in my left hand but then Tommy quickly took the bin out of my hands, grabbed me by the shoulders, and lightly kissed me on the lips.
And it only lasted for a second and somehow I managed to close my eyes during that time because when I opened them, he was already done and let go of my shoulders. "That's all." He said as he then walked out the door with the others. I touched my lips with the back of my right hand and that was how I got my first kiss.
"Our sleeping beauty sure likes to sleep, should one of us go in there and kiss her to wake her up? I'm sure that would be the trick to. You first." Suddenly, I heard Steven voice from right outside my door, instantly waking me up. Ugh, this unsound proof house. I never stayed in this house long enough for it to be problem but now it is.
"Shut up." I then heard Gary say as I couldn't help but laugh a bit. "Just let her sleep."
"Fine, I have to go to the grocery store and get more eggs for breakfast anyways. You want anything while I'm out?" Steven then asked as I could hear him walking away.
"Nah, I'm good. I'm going out for a jog." Gary replied as he started to walk away from my door too.
"Okay, write a note just in case she wakes up before one of us gets back." Steven then said. I'm guessing they were still in the hall, in front of the rooms. It was okay, it was interesting hearing them talk but after that, all I heard was one of them walking away and one of them going in their room. It made me wonder how they were like living together.
I slowly got off the bed and got my phone out to look at the time, it was ten in the morning. I should text mom, I thought as I wrote, "Hey mom, still okay over here. Hard at work with the project last night and more to do tonight." And pushed send.
Then I heard the front door slammed closed. I wonder if they both left yet. The room didn't have a window for me to look out at. Oh well. I slowly walked over to my door and placed my ear on it but nothing else was happening. Now I was at Steven's house alone, this was going to be interesting.
I grabbed my brush that I left on the drawer and started brushing my hair. I never knew Steven liked my hair when it was longer. Too bad I chopped it off and now it just reached a little bit past my shoulders. I have to admit as I looked around the room through the mirror, it was weird that I was staying in Steven parent's room.
What if one day I meet them and then in the back of my head, I'll remember that I stayed in their room, on their bed, while they were gone and they would never know. Ugh, stop overthinking, it will be okay. I told myself as I bended down to my suitcase and got out some black shorts that reached close to my knees and a purple tank top.
I really didn't want to stay in their room anymore though, I so had to see the rest of the house and it's emptiness. So once I brushed my teeth and changed, I slowly opened my door and tried to see if I could hear anything but nothing. I then tipped toed out of the room and closed the door behind me. Something smells good, I thought as I slowly walked over to the living room which was empty and looked out the window, Gary's truck was still here but Steven's car was gone. It was a white car that was a four door but he rarely drove it unless he was by himself or something, he mainly rode with Gary.
"What should I do now?" I wondered to myself out loud as I started to walk away from the window. I wondered if they already ate breakfast or made something to eat yet, smells like they did. Oh well, I wasn't that hungry yet since I just woke up. So I've been to the kitchen, nothing new. Been downstairs where the washer and dryer is, nothing new either. No way was I going in their rooms. I guess I should go outside. It wasn't like I went out there a lot. So I opened the back door sliding door and closed it behind me. It was nice today, sunny with a nice breeze.
It wasn't a big backyard, the patio was all cement with flower pots all around the edges. The grass was nice and green and mowed. Steven did a good job holding down the fort alright. There was medium sized tree right in the middle with the leaves all green and moving along with the wind. The best part was that they also had a bench swing on the patio also.
I smiled happily and sat on the bench, carefully not to fall off of it as it swing back a bit. It was wood bench but had this polish on it that made it so shiny and new looking. I leaned back and just moved the bench back and forth with my big toe. It was nice and peaceful and it was warm thanks to some of the sun's ray. I closed my eyes and enjoyed the warm quietness.
"I can't believe we're all getting separated!" Claire said loudly as she started to wipe her eyes. It was the last day of school, the last day of us being middle schoolers. We had a end of the year party, everyone brought food, watched movies, and enjoyed each other's company but it was all going to be over now. The last moments were upon us.
"Calm down, some of us are just going to different high schools. We can always keep in touch." Melissa said as she picked up a potato and dipped it in some french onion dip. They were both lucky though, they looked really pretty. They had nothing to worry about unlike me. I remember me thinking as I looked at them. Claire was still crying, her blonde curling bouncing with every move.
Melissa just rolled her eyes and bite into her chip. She had long wavy black hair, we had the same length but her's was better. My hair was long, reaching to the lower back but it was plain compared to her's. "Yeah right, that's what they all say! We all are just going to go on with our lives and we'll probably never talk again and haven't you seen all the shows, things happen in high school that could change our lives forever!" Claire replied as she got some white napkins off her desk to wipe her eyes.
"Doubt that." Melissa simply answered as she picked up another potato chip. I just smiled at Melissa and then looked down at my plate that had some chips, pretzel, and a chocolate cupcake. I picked up a pretzel and placed it in my mouth and as I looked up, I saw Tommy walk over to me.
"Hey." He said when he reached my desk as I was quickly chewing the pretzel. "Which high school are you going to next year?" He asked as I manage to shallow without choking. Since our whole kiss thing, we still really didn't talk much except for the average greet here and then. Still kind of awkward now that I think about it.
"Fairview High, how about you?" I asked back as I grabbed my white plastic cup that had fruit punch in it and drank some. He pushed his hands into his khaki pant pockets and looked down. "Oh... you're going to a different one?" I asked as he lift his head back up. His short black hair was nicely combed and not messy at all like some guys in the class.
"Yeah, I'm going to South Sanford High." Tommy replied as he leaned back on one of the desk that were nearby. Even though, I didn't want him to be my first kiss, he wasn't too bad. He wasn't like the other guys who would make fun of people. I remember feeling sad that we were going to go into different ways.
"Oh." I started to say as I looked back down at my plate and then I quickly looked back up and continued, "I hope..." But then I didn't know what to say. I hope you do good at your new school? I hope you meet new people? I hope .... we meet again?
"Yeah, me too." Tommy said a few seconds later and then lift his hand on top of my shoulder. "See you around... Abby." Claire was right though. We did all went our own ways. I mean I do see like one or two of my old classmates but it was only in the halls now and we don't really talk. Luckily, I met Gary and Steven that following school year so I don't miss any of them. I rarely remember the past anymore, it was the past after all, and we all are just strangers with memories now but.... I wonder how they all are doing and how much things have changed for them as much as it did for me. I wish I really knew at the time how we all would probably never see each other again, maybe I would've spent more time making memories with them, but it was good I didn't or else I would've cried just like Claire.
And to thank you guys for waiting, I'm giving out 10mill till Friday, November 7. Just send a trade labeled, TRICK OR TREAT. heart
MusicalPoet
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whee whee whee whee whee whee whee whee whee whee whee whee whee
Yay~
Yay~
Dilf_Lov3r
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When should we expect the next chapter? 3nodding
Pho Far East
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MusicalPoet
whee whee whee whee whee whee whee whee whee whee whee whee whee
Yay~
Yay~
Thank you! heart
Dilf_Lov3r
When should we expect the next chapter? 3nodding
Umm, hopefully December first or around that time. whee
Dilf_Lov3r
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Dannnng gonk
Quank
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I only get on Gaia to check for your updates, now. lol
Any news on when the next chapter will be out?
Any news on when the next chapter will be out?
Pho Far East
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Sorry guys for the absence!! I took a complete break from writing and even coming on here. I have been completely busy over here with work, school is back in session (Yay...), and juggling all of that with my social life (My boyfriend was the hugest distraction of them all. xP). I'm back and hopefully not taking any breaks soon!
I'm going to be posting two chapters somewhere next week. emotion_kirakira
I'm going to be posting two chapters somewhere next week. emotion_kirakira
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Quank
I only get on Gaia to check for your updates, now. lol
Any news on when the next chapter will be out?
Any news on when the next chapter will be out?
Sorry for the late reply! gonk I was away from Gaia for a while and just came back. I'm honored to hear that you come on Gaia to check for my updates. heart I have a website too, you should bookmark it so you don't have to come on here if you want. I update on there also.
I'm going to be posting two chapters somewhere next week. Thank you for your patience and waiting! yum_puddi
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Hey guys, I hope everyone is having a good Valentine's Day. Thank you for waiting. Here are two chapters.
Chapter Five
Suddenly, I felt someone touching my face, waking me from my dream of the past. I quickly opened my eyes and saw Gary in front of me. "You were crying." He said as he sat down next to me while holding the bench to make it not swing far back as he did. He was wearing his black hoodie but it was down and black jeans with his glasses on.
"Oh." I started to say as I quickly wiped my eyes with my fingers but then more just started coming out. Why was I crying? But that was a stupid question, I knew exactly why. I tried to stop but then I knew there wasn't any use so I just covered my eyes with my hands. "Sorry." I simply said.
I could hear Gary take a heavy sigh and then I felt him wrapping his arms around me. "Don't be. Why are you crying?" He whispered as he laid his head on mine, I could feel one of his hands rubbing my back. I pushed my head into his hoodie, smelling his cologne. It was a nice smell. It always was. The tears were stopping. I was getting surrounded by my present, getting away from the memories of the past.
"I had a dream of the ... past, it was the year before I met you and Steven.." I started to explain as I rolled my head to the side to look at the sunlight around us. "It makes me sad that I knew all of my classmates all through middle school and then... we all got separated in high school." I couldn't help but hug Gary tight as my eyes started to tear up again. I didn't really think of it much till now.
I then felt Gary rubbing the back of my head. "That's just a part of life." That wasn't helping, I frowned my eyebrows and then slowly looked up at him. Gary knew cause then he quickly added, "You know the quote better than I do... that things change, people come and go, like it or not but ..." He pushed my head back into his hoodie. "That should just make you appreciate each and every moment because you never know what's going to happen next. If we just kept things the same and didn't let change happen then new things wouldn't come around or happen. I'm glad I left middle school and went to high school, leaving everyone I knew there because then I met you."
I smiled as I lifted my head back up at Gary. "Thanks." I said as I laid my head on his shoulder and we just sat that way while swinging slowly back and forth on the bench. "So..." I started to say to break the silence. I cautiously looked over at Gary who was just looking straight ahead. "How are things with you?" As I asked, I could feel his shoulder tense up.
"I just came back from a jog, I'm going to take a shower now." Gary replied as he let go of me and slowly got off the bench but then I quickly grabbed his hoodie sleeve to stop him from going any further. He looked down at me as I grabbed his other sleeve.
"When are you going to talk to me?" I asked bluntly as Gary stood still in front of me. I knew I shouldn't push him to tell me but I couldn't help it.
"Talk about what?" He asked back with a hint of annoyance.
"About what's been going on, I feel like..." I started to say, trying to find the right words. "I don't know what's going on between all of us, it feels like there's something going on that you two won't tell me." I grabbed onto both of his sleeves tighter as each word came out.
"Do you really want to know the truth?" And a uneasy feeling instantly came over me when he asked that but ...
"Yeah, I want to know." I replied as Gary started to take some steps away from me. I moved off the bench and took some steps to be right in front of him. "Talk to me." But he just turned away from me, looking at the cement floor.
"Maybe another time." Gary said after a few seconds, still avoiding my eyes.
I was going to ask, "Why not now?" But I knew better, I had to give him his space so I let go of his sleeves and simply said, "Okay." Gary then still looking anywhere but at me, walked back into the house. I then just took a big sigh and sat back down on the swinging bench.
"I see grumpy bear hasn't talked to you yet." Suddenly I heard Steven's voice. I quickly turned over to the back door and saw he was right there, leaning on the wall beside the door. When did he get there? Or for how long was he there? "Relax, I just got back from grocery shopping and as soon as I came through the door, Gary was coming in from the back door, still looking conflicted as ever." Steven added as he walked over to the bench and sat next to me.
"Why don't you tell me?" I asked as Steven started to swing the bench back and forth. He was wearing a plain light blue shirt and knee length khakis. It really was a nice warm day right now. I strenched out my legs and then laid them on on the bench and then laid my back on the bench, just feeling the motion.
"I told you already that it's not my story to tell." Steven replied as I looked over at him and saw that he was leaning back with his eyes closed, feeling the motion too. "I used to love being on here especially in the afternoon when the sun was going down and just be out here till the sun was completely gone and the stars were out."
"That sounds nice." I said as I smiled at him. "Do you do that anymore?" I asked as I turned away from Steven and laid my head on the bench.
"Nope, too busy now." Steven answered as he sort of laughed. "So are you hungry?"
"Starving. I'm sure Gary is starving too since he told me he came back from a jog."
"Good because my breakfast casserole is almost done and I don't want to eat it by myself even though I spent all morning making it.... or even though the oven is doing like half the work too." Steven said as he got off the bench and started to walk over to the door. "Hopefully Gary is done with his shower but you know he already took a shower, right? He's too clean to just come back from a jog and not go straight into the shower. Plus that cologne of his, you know he doesn't like to mask anything, he likes straight up clean and then putting on that cologne."
"I know." I simply replied as Steven opened the door and stepped aside to let me go in first. I walked in and instantly smelled something good. Steven and Gary both could cook but I never asked if they could before they both lived here by themselves and had to learn or just always did.
"Take a seat." Steven instructed as he closed the door behind us and moved pass me and then I took a seat at the dining table as I watched Steven go over to the kitchen and on top of the stove was a casserole dish and a tray next to it was filled with slices of bread. "I would've made us all just one big breakfast thing but that's for tomorrow." Steven added as he lifted up a big spoon and started to scope up some of the casserole onto some white plates.
"You need some help?" Suddenly Gary asked as he walked over with a towel hanging off his neck, his hair still kind of damp from the shower, a white shirt on with the black jeans.
"You can get us all orange juice." Steven replied as he brought over two white plates that had a mountain of the casserole. Gary just nodded and walked over to the fridge. "I don't like leftovers so .." He started to say as he walked back over to the kitchen and grabbed the last white plate that equally had a big pile of casserole. "It's good you're here to help us eat." Each plate also had a fork placed in the casserole on the side.
"Shut up." Gary said as he brought over two cups filled with orange juice. "We cook and eat enough for the two of us, it's not like we just throw away the leftover stuff." Steven just laughed and sat right in front of me on the over side of the table. That meant that Gary was sitting in the middle of us. Err...
Gary placed his cup of orange juice next to his plate and sat down. I wondered if he was nervous too. "This looks good, what's in it?" I asked as I pulled my fork out of the casserole and picked some of the cheesy hash brown onto it.
"Cheesy hash brown casserole with sausage, some red and green bell peppers, eggs... oh s**t, I forgot to get the toast." Steven said as he hastily got up, quickly walked over to the kitchen and got a big plate and a spatula got each slice of toast onto the plate. "Here we go, last thing." Steven then added as he placed the plate filled with toast in the center.
I got my fork and got some of the sausage, some of the red peppers, and eggs and placed it in my mouth. I couldn't hold back the smile as I looked over at Steven who was looking at me. "Good, huh?" Steven then asked as he started to laugh. I just nodded and looked over at Gary who was looking at me also. I smiled at him and he gave me a small smile back and got his fork and started to eat too.
We continued eating in silence. It wasn't awkward. It was just how we do, we like to eat in silence and really just focus on the food and enjoying it. I grabbed another toast from the plate, each toast had melted butter on it and was nice and toasted from being in the oven with the casserole. I have no regrets to say that I finished the whole plate.
"That was good!" I complimented as I got my plate and fork up and got off my chair. "I'll wash the dishes for you." I added as I started to walk over to the kitchen. The casserole dish was in the sink with water filled to the top to let it soak. The tray with crumbs was still on the stove top. There were knifes and some spoons in the sink also.
"No, it's okay, you don't have to." Steven started to say as I placed my plate down and turned on the water to let it have some water to soak too.
"No, it's the least I could do." I insisted as I grabbed a new green and yellow sponge from the covers and squirted some dish washer soap on it. "I would feel bad if I let you guys do everything." And with that, I started to clean the knifes first.
"Do you want some help?" Gary asked as he stood beside me with his empty plate and cup. "Or at least let me clean my own plate." He added but I just grabbed his plate and cup and placed it down in the sink with mine and turned on the water on it. I also filled some water in his cup and let it soak also.
"Nope, I got it." I replied as I poured the murky water out of the casserole dish and started to wipe the left over food on it with the sponge. Gary then just walked away as Steven walked over too with his plate. I quickly turned to him, grabbed his plate before he could say anything, placed it in the sink and turned on the water on it.
"You know you're supposed to be our guest. You don't see Belle doing the dishes, do you?" Steven asked as he leaned on the kitchen counter that was next to the sink.
"Uh... all of the dishes were people and they could clean themselves. This isn't a magical enchanted castle, is it?" I asked back as I grinned over at Steven. Steven just laughed and placed his cup and another cup in the sink. Oops, forgot my cup. I thought as I poured water in Steven's and my cup.
"You win this time, princess but you might not win the next time." Steven said as he started to walk and before he stepped into the dining room, he grabbed some disinfecting wipes and then walked over to the table and started to wipe it clean. Gary was outside from what I could see from the window that was in front of the sink. He was out there wiping his hair with the towel to dry it completely.
"I always win." I replied as I went back to washing the dishes and started to wash the soap off the casserole dish.
"Cause we let you win." Steven bluntly replied back as I couldn't help but let out a laugh.
"Oh really?" I asked as I looked over at Steven. He was grinning at me.
"Oh really, is it such a big shocker?" He mocked back.
No. "Why?" I turned away and asked, focusing my attention on the dishes still.
"Why what?"
"Why...." I paused to find the right words but before I could continue, Gary walked back inside. I quickly pretended we weren't talking and continued on with the dishes.
"Speak of the devil. We were talking about how we let her win all the time and she was just asking why. Why don't you do the honor and tell her why." Steven bluntly said as Gary was closing the backdoor. I looked over at Steven in panic who was just looking over at Gary and then at Gary who was glaring at Steven. Steven always knew how to push Gary's buttons, it was pretty amazing despite that they were still close or maybe it was because they were close that he could do that.
"Shut up." Gary responded as he started walking over to his room with the towel hanging on his shoulder. Gary doesn't really like confrontations much so course his usual response to Steven would be that. I couldn't help but smile as I watched them talk to each other.
"It's a nice Saturday, what should we do?" Steven then asked before Gary reached over to his door. That was a good question. I forgot to think of what we were going to do today. Looked like Steven was done wiping the table clean because he quickly walked over to the kitchen and threw away the wipe he used to wipe the table and came over to the sink.
"What do you want to do?" Steven asked me as he looked down at the sink. I only had the cups and forks to clean. I was in the process of rinsing the soap off the big plate that all the toast were on. He then proceeded to grab the sponge and started to sponge the cups. "You rinse, I sponge."
I wasn't going to deny and tell him not to, he was already on it so I let him. I quickly looked over to see where Gary was but looked like he went into his room because he was nowhere in sight. "I don't know... it was your idea that I stay over this weekend, what did you want to happen?" I asked as I grabbed a white towel and started to dry the plate.
"Good question." Steven replied as he wiped the last cup with the sponge and started rinsing them since I was trying the plate. "What did you want to happen?" He asked back as I placed the plate with the other dishes. He held to me a clean cup.
I grabbed it and started to dry it too with the towel. "I asked you first." I answered as I placed the cup with the other cups. Steven held to me another cup. I grabbed it and started to wipe it with the towel also. Steven was already starting to wash the forks as I noticed he left the last cup that he just finished washing on the side for me.
"Touché." Steven simply said as I started to wipe dry the last cup. What was I doing here though? I was supposed to be fixing some problem that's happening between us but looks like we are just avoiding it.
"Why did you ask me to stay over this weekend?" I bluntly asked as I placed the dry cup with the other cups. I just wanted to see what he would say.
Steven just smiled at me and handed me the forks that he just finished washing. "Gary doesn't like that you walked in on us the other day and that's messing him up but it's not what it seems, Abby and there's something he should've told you a long time ago."
"What do you mean?" I asked as I wiped the forks.
Steven then just took a sigh and leaned on the counter while slowly wiping his hands with a towel to dry them. "We do dumb s**t when we're hurt.... and we keep doing it to make us feel better even if it's just for a little while." I still didn't understand. I stopped wiping the forks and placed them with the other silverware and leaned on the counter opposite of Steven. I was going to say something but I just didn't know what. I hurt one of them? Steven looked over at me and must've saw my confused face because he continued, "And that's why I keep saying that you should talk to Gary.... he should be the one telling you all of this."
"Why..." I started to ask but then Steven just started to laugh and that made me stop.
"Dang, Abby baby. That must be your favorite word or something. You've been asking why a lot lately." Steven said as he walked over in front of me, placing his hands on the counter behind me, making me stay where I was because he boxed me in and then lowered his head toward me, placing his lips to mine. Oh my god. I automatically closed my eyes, just cause it was the only thing I knew what to do at that moment. Steven didn't move his lips as much as Gary did. It was more gentle, I could feel him press against me too as he did soft motions with his lips and then it was over, making it last only like couple seconds but in those seconds I forgot about everything else. I forgot that it was Steven, I forgot that Gary could walk on us at anytime, I forgot it all, just focused on these soft lips, and then I felt his lips get off of mine. I slowly opened my eyes and saw that Steven was smiling at me and simply said, "That's why."
Chapter Six
I breathed in some air, realizing that I didn't breathe during those seconds and just watched Steven as he took some steps backwards. My third kiss of my life but the first one that.... took my breathe away and just.. wow. I stood there in awe as Steven looked away from me and said, "I don't think I should've did that." But I wanted more. I didn't want that to be over just yet.
I slowly walked in front of Steven but before I could say anything, I heard Gary open his door. I quickly looked over at his direction. He was looking at us as he closed his door behind him. I wonder, did he hear us or anything? I quickly took some steps away from Steven as Gary walked over to the kitchen. "What's happening over here?" He asked as Steven moved away from me.
"Nothing, we were just talking about what we should do today." Steven replied as he walked pass Gary who opened the fridge and was looking in it. "What did you want to do today?"
"Don't care." Gary replied as he grabbed a can of Coke and closed the fridge and before he walked away, he looked over at me. I wonder if he could tell what just happened. Was it all over my face? Wait, wait, wait, weren't they supposed to be gay? But they both kissed me? What?
"I don't understand you two.." I said under my breathe without thinking but that got their attention because they both looked at me as I looked at both of them. This was getting more complicated than I thought it was going to be. I don't even know where to begin.
"What?" Gary asked as I could see the confusion in his face.
I took a long sigh and then replied, "Nothing. I'm tired so I'm just going to the room now." But before I could walk out of the kitchen, Gary got in front of me. "What is it?" I asked as I folded my arms together.
"What did we do?" Gary asked as he crossed his arms too.
"Nothing, I'm just tired." I replied as I tried to move around him but Gary moved faster and blocked my path once more.
"You should talk about what's bothering you."
That was funny of him to say, very ironic too. "Now you know how I feel." I said looking straight in his eyes. I could see when I said that, he twitched his right eye a bit. I then quickly moved passed him and saw Steven was standing there couple feet away with a worried look.
I hastily looked away and continued walking to my room but before I closed the door, I heard Steven say to Gary, "You should talk to her now... you know she's worried about you as much as you're worried about her." But I didn't want to hear anymore and closed the door to not hear what Gary was going to say to that.
I locked my door and walked over to the bed and got in it. I don't understand them at all and what was happening. I slowly lifted my fingers to my face and touched my lips. I couldn't believe that just happened. I closed my eyes and imagined Steven's lips on mine again. But it was .... nice. Really nice.
But then I heard a knock at my door, instantly making me open my eyes, breaking me away from my thoughts. "It's Gary, can I come in?" Nope. I thought as I pulled my blankets over me and just pretended that I was asleep. "Can we talk... please?" He continued. Nope. "Abby... it's complicated for me too. You think I'm strong but I'm actually weak. You think I'm brave but I'm actually a coward. I wasn't ready to face this just yet but ... now I am. Please open the door so we can talk."
Dang. I took a long sigh and then rolled off the bed. That did it. I slowly walked over to my door and slowly opened it, hearing the lock click as I did. Gary was standing right there with a serious face and his hands in his pockets. "Okay." I said as I opened the door wider for him.
He walked in and sat immediately on the bed but not before looking around. "This is actually my first time in this room. Steven normally keeps this place shut." Gary explained as I closed the door and walked over to sit beside him. I wasn't worried about this room being a mess, most of my stuff was in my suitcase and I kept it zipped up and only had a brush on top of the drawer so I wasn't self conscious about Gary in here at all.
"It's been a year since you moved in with him and you never been in here, wow." I said as Gary looked down to the floor with his arms laying right on top of his knees. I really didn't want to ask but it wasn't like we get on this topic a lot. "How's your mom, have you talked to her lately?"
"Nope." He replied with no hesitation at all with a hint of anger. Not good.
"You know... she's probably worried about you."
"No, she's not. She's happy with her new husband and his stupid little girl. She finally got the daughter she always wanted."
"But Gary..." I started to say as I was about to put my hand on his arm but then he swiftly turned to me with pissed off eyes. I jumped a bit when I saw.
"Enough about that, that's not what I wanted talk about." It never is.
"What do you mean you moved in with Steven?" I asked with shock one day a year ago after school when me and Gary were walking over to his car and he just bluntly told me, "I moved into Steven's house." Steven was running late and Gary decided that we should wait in his truck.
"Yeah, I moved in yesterday." Which was a Sunday because I remembered it was a Monday, a long tiring Monday.
"Why? Your mom is going to let you move out? I asked as I stopped walking which made Gary stop too but he wasn't looking at me.
"She .... decided to let Robert and Celia move in but I didn't want any part of that so I moved out." Gary explained as he stuffed his hands into his pockets. Robert was his mom's longtime boyfriend and Celia was his five year old daughter. I could see that it was hard for Gary to see his mom dating another man and seeing her so happy with his daughter.
"Why don't you move in with your dad?"
"He doesn't live here anymore, he moved to Washington couple months ago." Dang. I forgot but I definitely knew that Steven's parents weren't there, they never were when I came over. I haven't found the courage to ask Steven about his parents yet. There were no pictures of them anywhere in the house or any pictures of anyone.
"Is that ... why this morning.." I slowly started to say but it was all making sense. That morning they were both in Gary's truck when they picked me up from my house and normally it would just be one of them who would pick me up and then we would meet the other one at school.
"Yeah, he lets me stay while I drive him around." Gary answered as he continued walking to this truck. I remember watching him walk toward his car and feeling sad and thinking about what he must be going through and we never talked about it again.. till now.
I wrapped my arms around Gary's shoulder as we both sat on the bed and laid my head on his shoulder also. "It's okay, you don't have talk to me or tell me anything." I softly said as I closed my eyes. I was starting to feel really bad and guilty and selfish. Gary must be going through a whole lot and I wasn't helping by being so... noisy and acting like a brat.
"Me and Steven aren't gay." Gary suddenly blurted out which startled me, making get my head off his shoulder and look at him. He had his hands cupping over his eyes. "We're so ********... We're ******** in the head." What? I watched Gary as he continued. "It first happened.... when ... that day when I ... kissed you and then you just left me there and ... I felt like s**t because I knew I shouldn't have done it. I went back here and went straight to my room and Steven knew something was wrong and he came in my room with some beer and we just talked about what happened and then Steven started talking about his family s**t and then I started to talk about my family s**t and then .... we both just broke down. We were so drunk too.." Gary couldn't help but laugh a bit at that and then he stopped and it was quiet between us.
At that moment, I was starting to feel really guilty. What if .... I did something different that day when he kissed me, would all of this still would've happened? Steven knew too, he knew what happened but he acted like he didn't. It made sense now, it was why he was acting weird himself that day after. "And then I don't remember how it happened but ... it just felt like all the pain was gone till the next morning .... when I woke up on my bed and saw...." Gary paused and I could see he was clenching his hands tighter to his face. "When I realize what we just did, and I felt like s**t all over again, and that was supposed to be it. That was supposed to be our secret and that we would never do it again."
But. "But..." Gary started to continue but then I noticed tears were going down his face. I stared in complete shock at him. This was my very first time I ever seen Gary cry, he was always so strong. I wrapped my arms around him tighter and then turned him onto my shoulder. He then hugged me so tight to him. "But I wanted the pain to stop. I wanted to stop feeling like s**t so bad ... and the only thing that made me feel that was.... with .... and he wanted the same. We both just wanted the pain to stop and to stop feeling so .... alone."
But you guys had me. I wanted to say but I knew I couldn't. I knew I couldn't be the one to help them when I was one of the reasons it all started. I couldn't help but tear up too at that moment. I never knew they were feeling this way. "Do you... guys still feel that way?" I slowly asked as I laid my head onto Gary's chest. I could feel a tear coming down my cheek now.
"Not anymore." Gary replied as he laid his head on my shoulder. "We're used to it now. Back then everything was just ******** up but we still.... to just feel better. But sometimes I can't even look in the mirror. I hate who I've become. I hate what I do, I hate myself for this." I could feel this pain in my chest. Was this all my fault? Why couldn't I ever notice that this was going on. I squeezed my hands into fist while grabbing onto Gary's hoodie. This was my fault.
If I wasn't so.... If I would've did something different when he asked me if I felt something. If I didn't break his heart when I said no. They're both paying for it by now having this huge secret and shame. I then just couldn't stop it and the tears started to come down. "I'm sorry." I said as I dug my head onto his chest. "I'm sorry." I repeated.
"Abby.." Gary started to say.
"No," I interrupted while looking up at him. "I'm sorry." That was all I could say. Was that all I could do?
He took a sigh and then I felt both his hands on my cheeks, wiping my tears with his hoodie sleeves. "Second time today I've seen you cry." He said as he he light rubbed the bottom of my eyes with his thumbs.
I abruptly moved away, turning away from him, and rubbing my eyes with the palm of my hands, and said, "Sorry, I must look really pathetic right now." I'm so pathetic. I was supposed to be there for him but here I was.. crying myself. God. "I'm the worse too." I added as more tears started to come down my cheeks but then I felt him wrapping his arms around me from behind.
"No," He whispered in my ear and wrapped me tighter to him. "You don't look pathetic and you're not the worse.... you're the best. You're the best and even when you're crying, you're beautiful." He continued in his normal voice. I slowly turned over to him in surprise. I couldn't believe he just said that. The first time a guy called me beautiful.
And as I looked over at him, I noticed how close we were. His face was just inches away from mine. I couldn't help but look at his lips. "You mean it?" I asked softly as I slowly looked away from his lips to his eyes. They were a little red from crying too.
"Every word." He whispered as he looked at me in the eyes too and then we just sat there in silence. His arms were still around me, making me push against the front of his body, and then he lowered his head and kissed me on my forehead. "You are the best." He whispered as he kept his lips on my forehead and then slowly moved them down to my left eye, making me automatically closing it as he kissed it too.
"I'm not." I whispered back as he moved his lips on me to my right eye, making me close both my eyes.
"You are." He insisted as I could feel him move down to my right cheek. His lips felt so soft against my face, just gently brushing against it without too much pressure.
"I'm not." I repeated as I could feel his arms let go of me. I quickly opened my eyes and saw that he was moving right in front of me. He grabbed both my cheeks with his hand and then pressed his forehead to mine. He was looking straight in my eyes. I could see his dark brown eyes and from far away they look black but when you get up close, you could see they were brown.
"What is with you girls and not just taking the freaking compliment?" Gary said which made me laugh a bit and then I noticed he was smiling. I wrapped my arms around his neck, making his body closer to mine.
"Well what is it with you guys and kissing our asses to just butter us up for what you want?" I replied and that made Gary laugh a bit too. He lowered his body on me which made me lower mine on the bed but of all the times he was on top of me, this was the closest I ever let him be on me.
Gary gently placed his lips on my left cheek and softly moved it to my left ear and whispered, "You think I want something?" His warm breathe blowing in my ear with each word and then I could feel him move to my neck. He took a spot and started to gently moved his lips on it. I couldn't help but let out a small sigh as I moved my head to the opposite side of where Gary was at.
"Yeah.... I really think you want something." I whispered as I closed my eyes and continued feeling Gary's lips on my neck and then I felt his tongue licking the spot too. My first time having someone kiss my neck and it felt like wow. I could feel that I was breathing harder as Gary started to kiss harder on my neck.
But then he stopped and I opened my eyes to him. He was leaning his head on the bed beside my head. "Goddamn it." I heard him say angrily.
I turned my head to him and asked, "What's wrong?"
"Why are you letting me do this?" He asked back while turning his face to mine. Uh. I didn't know what to say to that and after a few seconds of silence, "You always had the power to say no. You always could've said something. Stop letting things happen and you pretending that it's okay that it's happening." He moved off of me and sat back at the edge of the bed with his hands covering his eyes again. I slowly got off the bed and moved over next to him.
I didn't know what to say as I was sitting next to him so we just sat there. I'm sorry? I'm screwed up too? I don't know. "You know..." He started to say as he lowered down his hands off his eyes and onto his knees. He looked over at me, straight in the eyes. "I like you." And I couldn't help but feel my eyes go completely wide when he said that. "I really like you, I always liked you. Even when I knew you probably don't feel the same way, that hasn't stopped anything." My first time having a guy say he liked me... Wow.
Then I noticed, he was slowly lifting his left hand up and then placed it on my right hand. "I wish it was you. I always wish it was you that I was with and now I'm just rambling. Sorry." He then quickly took his hand off mine and back on his knee. "I accepted a long time ago that you'll never see me that way." A sting of regret came around again after he said that. I then lifted my hand up and placed it on his. He looked over at me surprised.
"Sorry.." I whispered as I leaned my head closer to him, stopping close to his face with my eyes closed and after a couple seconds, I could feel his lips touch mine softly with small movements. Fourth kiss. I slowly moved my lips onto his, first time actually kissing someone back. And thanks to that, I could feel him cupping my face with both his hands and he started to kiss me harder. This was fulfilling his the desire. I could feel it... with each time I could feel his lips press on mine and his hands on my face pushing me closer to him. He wanted this bad.
I was lost in all of the kissing and then without thinking, I slowly got my tongue in his mouth and I could feel his tongue on mine. I was lost in it. I didn't think of anything else. I forgot about everything else. I understood now that this was what he meant. The only thing that made the pain and the sadness go away. Because none of that mattered, it was just me and him.
And then I got my tongue out of his mouth and then he aggressively kissed me on the lips again. I wondered if Steven kiss like this or does his stay gentle? Wait, what? I slowly opened my eyes and saw that his eyes were closed but.... did I just think of Steven? I then broke away from the kiss. Steven... oh god. We were kissing at his house, in his parent's room, in this not sound proof house, and his room was right next door, could he hear all of this? Did he hear all of this?
"I don't want to this when Steven's around." I said as Gary took his hands off my face. Dang. As soon as he did, I could feel pressure off the sides of my face. He was smiling at me. He was happy. That was good. I smiled back and slowly got off the bed. "This was definitely fun..." Wait, that was weird of me to say. I opened the door and held it open for him. Gary then got off the bed and walked over to the door. He whispered, "Yeah," kissed me one more time, and then walked out of my room. I closed my door shut and hastily went straight to the bathroom, I wanted some mouthwash that I had on the sink.
Happy Valentine's Day! heart
Chapter Five
Suddenly, I felt someone touching my face, waking me from my dream of the past. I quickly opened my eyes and saw Gary in front of me. "You were crying." He said as he sat down next to me while holding the bench to make it not swing far back as he did. He was wearing his black hoodie but it was down and black jeans with his glasses on.
"Oh." I started to say as I quickly wiped my eyes with my fingers but then more just started coming out. Why was I crying? But that was a stupid question, I knew exactly why. I tried to stop but then I knew there wasn't any use so I just covered my eyes with my hands. "Sorry." I simply said.
I could hear Gary take a heavy sigh and then I felt him wrapping his arms around me. "Don't be. Why are you crying?" He whispered as he laid his head on mine, I could feel one of his hands rubbing my back. I pushed my head into his hoodie, smelling his cologne. It was a nice smell. It always was. The tears were stopping. I was getting surrounded by my present, getting away from the memories of the past.
"I had a dream of the ... past, it was the year before I met you and Steven.." I started to explain as I rolled my head to the side to look at the sunlight around us. "It makes me sad that I knew all of my classmates all through middle school and then... we all got separated in high school." I couldn't help but hug Gary tight as my eyes started to tear up again. I didn't really think of it much till now.
I then felt Gary rubbing the back of my head. "That's just a part of life." That wasn't helping, I frowned my eyebrows and then slowly looked up at him. Gary knew cause then he quickly added, "You know the quote better than I do... that things change, people come and go, like it or not but ..." He pushed my head back into his hoodie. "That should just make you appreciate each and every moment because you never know what's going to happen next. If we just kept things the same and didn't let change happen then new things wouldn't come around or happen. I'm glad I left middle school and went to high school, leaving everyone I knew there because then I met you."
I smiled as I lifted my head back up at Gary. "Thanks." I said as I laid my head on his shoulder and we just sat that way while swinging slowly back and forth on the bench. "So..." I started to say to break the silence. I cautiously looked over at Gary who was just looking straight ahead. "How are things with you?" As I asked, I could feel his shoulder tense up.
"I just came back from a jog, I'm going to take a shower now." Gary replied as he let go of me and slowly got off the bench but then I quickly grabbed his hoodie sleeve to stop him from going any further. He looked down at me as I grabbed his other sleeve.
"When are you going to talk to me?" I asked bluntly as Gary stood still in front of me. I knew I shouldn't push him to tell me but I couldn't help it.
"Talk about what?" He asked back with a hint of annoyance.
"About what's been going on, I feel like..." I started to say, trying to find the right words. "I don't know what's going on between all of us, it feels like there's something going on that you two won't tell me." I grabbed onto both of his sleeves tighter as each word came out.
"Do you really want to know the truth?" And a uneasy feeling instantly came over me when he asked that but ...
"Yeah, I want to know." I replied as Gary started to take some steps away from me. I moved off the bench and took some steps to be right in front of him. "Talk to me." But he just turned away from me, looking at the cement floor.
"Maybe another time." Gary said after a few seconds, still avoiding my eyes.
I was going to ask, "Why not now?" But I knew better, I had to give him his space so I let go of his sleeves and simply said, "Okay." Gary then still looking anywhere but at me, walked back into the house. I then just took a big sigh and sat back down on the swinging bench.
"I see grumpy bear hasn't talked to you yet." Suddenly I heard Steven's voice. I quickly turned over to the back door and saw he was right there, leaning on the wall beside the door. When did he get there? Or for how long was he there? "Relax, I just got back from grocery shopping and as soon as I came through the door, Gary was coming in from the back door, still looking conflicted as ever." Steven added as he walked over to the bench and sat next to me.
"Why don't you tell me?" I asked as Steven started to swing the bench back and forth. He was wearing a plain light blue shirt and knee length khakis. It really was a nice warm day right now. I strenched out my legs and then laid them on on the bench and then laid my back on the bench, just feeling the motion.
"I told you already that it's not my story to tell." Steven replied as I looked over at him and saw that he was leaning back with his eyes closed, feeling the motion too. "I used to love being on here especially in the afternoon when the sun was going down and just be out here till the sun was completely gone and the stars were out."
"That sounds nice." I said as I smiled at him. "Do you do that anymore?" I asked as I turned away from Steven and laid my head on the bench.
"Nope, too busy now." Steven answered as he sort of laughed. "So are you hungry?"
"Starving. I'm sure Gary is starving too since he told me he came back from a jog."
"Good because my breakfast casserole is almost done and I don't want to eat it by myself even though I spent all morning making it.... or even though the oven is doing like half the work too." Steven said as he got off the bench and started to walk over to the door. "Hopefully Gary is done with his shower but you know he already took a shower, right? He's too clean to just come back from a jog and not go straight into the shower. Plus that cologne of his, you know he doesn't like to mask anything, he likes straight up clean and then putting on that cologne."
"I know." I simply replied as Steven opened the door and stepped aside to let me go in first. I walked in and instantly smelled something good. Steven and Gary both could cook but I never asked if they could before they both lived here by themselves and had to learn or just always did.
"Take a seat." Steven instructed as he closed the door behind us and moved pass me and then I took a seat at the dining table as I watched Steven go over to the kitchen and on top of the stove was a casserole dish and a tray next to it was filled with slices of bread. "I would've made us all just one big breakfast thing but that's for tomorrow." Steven added as he lifted up a big spoon and started to scope up some of the casserole onto some white plates.
"You need some help?" Suddenly Gary asked as he walked over with a towel hanging off his neck, his hair still kind of damp from the shower, a white shirt on with the black jeans.
"You can get us all orange juice." Steven replied as he brought over two white plates that had a mountain of the casserole. Gary just nodded and walked over to the fridge. "I don't like leftovers so .." He started to say as he walked back over to the kitchen and grabbed the last white plate that equally had a big pile of casserole. "It's good you're here to help us eat." Each plate also had a fork placed in the casserole on the side.
"Shut up." Gary said as he brought over two cups filled with orange juice. "We cook and eat enough for the two of us, it's not like we just throw away the leftover stuff." Steven just laughed and sat right in front of me on the over side of the table. That meant that Gary was sitting in the middle of us. Err...
Gary placed his cup of orange juice next to his plate and sat down. I wondered if he was nervous too. "This looks good, what's in it?" I asked as I pulled my fork out of the casserole and picked some of the cheesy hash brown onto it.
"Cheesy hash brown casserole with sausage, some red and green bell peppers, eggs... oh s**t, I forgot to get the toast." Steven said as he hastily got up, quickly walked over to the kitchen and got a big plate and a spatula got each slice of toast onto the plate. "Here we go, last thing." Steven then added as he placed the plate filled with toast in the center.
I got my fork and got some of the sausage, some of the red peppers, and eggs and placed it in my mouth. I couldn't hold back the smile as I looked over at Steven who was looking at me. "Good, huh?" Steven then asked as he started to laugh. I just nodded and looked over at Gary who was looking at me also. I smiled at him and he gave me a small smile back and got his fork and started to eat too.
We continued eating in silence. It wasn't awkward. It was just how we do, we like to eat in silence and really just focus on the food and enjoying it. I grabbed another toast from the plate, each toast had melted butter on it and was nice and toasted from being in the oven with the casserole. I have no regrets to say that I finished the whole plate.
"That was good!" I complimented as I got my plate and fork up and got off my chair. "I'll wash the dishes for you." I added as I started to walk over to the kitchen. The casserole dish was in the sink with water filled to the top to let it soak. The tray with crumbs was still on the stove top. There were knifes and some spoons in the sink also.
"No, it's okay, you don't have to." Steven started to say as I placed my plate down and turned on the water to let it have some water to soak too.
"No, it's the least I could do." I insisted as I grabbed a new green and yellow sponge from the covers and squirted some dish washer soap on it. "I would feel bad if I let you guys do everything." And with that, I started to clean the knifes first.
"Do you want some help?" Gary asked as he stood beside me with his empty plate and cup. "Or at least let me clean my own plate." He added but I just grabbed his plate and cup and placed it down in the sink with mine and turned on the water on it. I also filled some water in his cup and let it soak also.
"Nope, I got it." I replied as I poured the murky water out of the casserole dish and started to wipe the left over food on it with the sponge. Gary then just walked away as Steven walked over too with his plate. I quickly turned to him, grabbed his plate before he could say anything, placed it in the sink and turned on the water on it.
"You know you're supposed to be our guest. You don't see Belle doing the dishes, do you?" Steven asked as he leaned on the kitchen counter that was next to the sink.
"Uh... all of the dishes were people and they could clean themselves. This isn't a magical enchanted castle, is it?" I asked back as I grinned over at Steven. Steven just laughed and placed his cup and another cup in the sink. Oops, forgot my cup. I thought as I poured water in Steven's and my cup.
"You win this time, princess but you might not win the next time." Steven said as he started to walk and before he stepped into the dining room, he grabbed some disinfecting wipes and then walked over to the table and started to wipe it clean. Gary was outside from what I could see from the window that was in front of the sink. He was out there wiping his hair with the towel to dry it completely.
"I always win." I replied as I went back to washing the dishes and started to wash the soap off the casserole dish.
"Cause we let you win." Steven bluntly replied back as I couldn't help but let out a laugh.
"Oh really?" I asked as I looked over at Steven. He was grinning at me.
"Oh really, is it such a big shocker?" He mocked back.
No. "Why?" I turned away and asked, focusing my attention on the dishes still.
"Why what?"
"Why...." I paused to find the right words but before I could continue, Gary walked back inside. I quickly pretended we weren't talking and continued on with the dishes.
"Speak of the devil. We were talking about how we let her win all the time and she was just asking why. Why don't you do the honor and tell her why." Steven bluntly said as Gary was closing the backdoor. I looked over at Steven in panic who was just looking over at Gary and then at Gary who was glaring at Steven. Steven always knew how to push Gary's buttons, it was pretty amazing despite that they were still close or maybe it was because they were close that he could do that.
"Shut up." Gary responded as he started walking over to his room with the towel hanging on his shoulder. Gary doesn't really like confrontations much so course his usual response to Steven would be that. I couldn't help but smile as I watched them talk to each other.
"It's a nice Saturday, what should we do?" Steven then asked before Gary reached over to his door. That was a good question. I forgot to think of what we were going to do today. Looked like Steven was done wiping the table clean because he quickly walked over to the kitchen and threw away the wipe he used to wipe the table and came over to the sink.
"What do you want to do?" Steven asked me as he looked down at the sink. I only had the cups and forks to clean. I was in the process of rinsing the soap off the big plate that all the toast were on. He then proceeded to grab the sponge and started to sponge the cups. "You rinse, I sponge."
I wasn't going to deny and tell him not to, he was already on it so I let him. I quickly looked over to see where Gary was but looked like he went into his room because he was nowhere in sight. "I don't know... it was your idea that I stay over this weekend, what did you want to happen?" I asked as I grabbed a white towel and started to dry the plate.
"Good question." Steven replied as he wiped the last cup with the sponge and started rinsing them since I was trying the plate. "What did you want to happen?" He asked back as I placed the plate with the other dishes. He held to me a clean cup.
I grabbed it and started to dry it too with the towel. "I asked you first." I answered as I placed the cup with the other cups. Steven held to me another cup. I grabbed it and started to wipe it with the towel also. Steven was already starting to wash the forks as I noticed he left the last cup that he just finished washing on the side for me.
"Touché." Steven simply said as I started to wipe dry the last cup. What was I doing here though? I was supposed to be fixing some problem that's happening between us but looks like we are just avoiding it.
"Why did you ask me to stay over this weekend?" I bluntly asked as I placed the dry cup with the other cups. I just wanted to see what he would say.
Steven just smiled at me and handed me the forks that he just finished washing. "Gary doesn't like that you walked in on us the other day and that's messing him up but it's not what it seems, Abby and there's something he should've told you a long time ago."
"What do you mean?" I asked as I wiped the forks.
Steven then just took a sigh and leaned on the counter while slowly wiping his hands with a towel to dry them. "We do dumb s**t when we're hurt.... and we keep doing it to make us feel better even if it's just for a little while." I still didn't understand. I stopped wiping the forks and placed them with the other silverware and leaned on the counter opposite of Steven. I was going to say something but I just didn't know what. I hurt one of them? Steven looked over at me and must've saw my confused face because he continued, "And that's why I keep saying that you should talk to Gary.... he should be the one telling you all of this."
"Why..." I started to ask but then Steven just started to laugh and that made me stop.
"Dang, Abby baby. That must be your favorite word or something. You've been asking why a lot lately." Steven said as he walked over in front of me, placing his hands on the counter behind me, making me stay where I was because he boxed me in and then lowered his head toward me, placing his lips to mine. Oh my god. I automatically closed my eyes, just cause it was the only thing I knew what to do at that moment. Steven didn't move his lips as much as Gary did. It was more gentle, I could feel him press against me too as he did soft motions with his lips and then it was over, making it last only like couple seconds but in those seconds I forgot about everything else. I forgot that it was Steven, I forgot that Gary could walk on us at anytime, I forgot it all, just focused on these soft lips, and then I felt his lips get off of mine. I slowly opened my eyes and saw that Steven was smiling at me and simply said, "That's why."
Chapter Six
I breathed in some air, realizing that I didn't breathe during those seconds and just watched Steven as he took some steps backwards. My third kiss of my life but the first one that.... took my breathe away and just.. wow. I stood there in awe as Steven looked away from me and said, "I don't think I should've did that." But I wanted more. I didn't want that to be over just yet.
I slowly walked in front of Steven but before I could say anything, I heard Gary open his door. I quickly looked over at his direction. He was looking at us as he closed his door behind him. I wonder, did he hear us or anything? I quickly took some steps away from Steven as Gary walked over to the kitchen. "What's happening over here?" He asked as Steven moved away from me.
"Nothing, we were just talking about what we should do today." Steven replied as he walked pass Gary who opened the fridge and was looking in it. "What did you want to do today?"
"Don't care." Gary replied as he grabbed a can of Coke and closed the fridge and before he walked away, he looked over at me. I wonder if he could tell what just happened. Was it all over my face? Wait, wait, wait, weren't they supposed to be gay? But they both kissed me? What?
"I don't understand you two.." I said under my breathe without thinking but that got their attention because they both looked at me as I looked at both of them. This was getting more complicated than I thought it was going to be. I don't even know where to begin.
"What?" Gary asked as I could see the confusion in his face.
I took a long sigh and then replied, "Nothing. I'm tired so I'm just going to the room now." But before I could walk out of the kitchen, Gary got in front of me. "What is it?" I asked as I folded my arms together.
"What did we do?" Gary asked as he crossed his arms too.
"Nothing, I'm just tired." I replied as I tried to move around him but Gary moved faster and blocked my path once more.
"You should talk about what's bothering you."
That was funny of him to say, very ironic too. "Now you know how I feel." I said looking straight in his eyes. I could see when I said that, he twitched his right eye a bit. I then quickly moved passed him and saw Steven was standing there couple feet away with a worried look.
I hastily looked away and continued walking to my room but before I closed the door, I heard Steven say to Gary, "You should talk to her now... you know she's worried about you as much as you're worried about her." But I didn't want to hear anymore and closed the door to not hear what Gary was going to say to that.
I locked my door and walked over to the bed and got in it. I don't understand them at all and what was happening. I slowly lifted my fingers to my face and touched my lips. I couldn't believe that just happened. I closed my eyes and imagined Steven's lips on mine again. But it was .... nice. Really nice.
But then I heard a knock at my door, instantly making me open my eyes, breaking me away from my thoughts. "It's Gary, can I come in?" Nope. I thought as I pulled my blankets over me and just pretended that I was asleep. "Can we talk... please?" He continued. Nope. "Abby... it's complicated for me too. You think I'm strong but I'm actually weak. You think I'm brave but I'm actually a coward. I wasn't ready to face this just yet but ... now I am. Please open the door so we can talk."
Dang. I took a long sigh and then rolled off the bed. That did it. I slowly walked over to my door and slowly opened it, hearing the lock click as I did. Gary was standing right there with a serious face and his hands in his pockets. "Okay." I said as I opened the door wider for him.
He walked in and sat immediately on the bed but not before looking around. "This is actually my first time in this room. Steven normally keeps this place shut." Gary explained as I closed the door and walked over to sit beside him. I wasn't worried about this room being a mess, most of my stuff was in my suitcase and I kept it zipped up and only had a brush on top of the drawer so I wasn't self conscious about Gary in here at all.
"It's been a year since you moved in with him and you never been in here, wow." I said as Gary looked down to the floor with his arms laying right on top of his knees. I really didn't want to ask but it wasn't like we get on this topic a lot. "How's your mom, have you talked to her lately?"
"Nope." He replied with no hesitation at all with a hint of anger. Not good.
"You know... she's probably worried about you."
"No, she's not. She's happy with her new husband and his stupid little girl. She finally got the daughter she always wanted."
"But Gary..." I started to say as I was about to put my hand on his arm but then he swiftly turned to me with pissed off eyes. I jumped a bit when I saw.
"Enough about that, that's not what I wanted talk about." It never is.
"What do you mean you moved in with Steven?" I asked with shock one day a year ago after school when me and Gary were walking over to his car and he just bluntly told me, "I moved into Steven's house." Steven was running late and Gary decided that we should wait in his truck.
"Yeah, I moved in yesterday." Which was a Sunday because I remembered it was a Monday, a long tiring Monday.
"Why? Your mom is going to let you move out? I asked as I stopped walking which made Gary stop too but he wasn't looking at me.
"She .... decided to let Robert and Celia move in but I didn't want any part of that so I moved out." Gary explained as he stuffed his hands into his pockets. Robert was his mom's longtime boyfriend and Celia was his five year old daughter. I could see that it was hard for Gary to see his mom dating another man and seeing her so happy with his daughter.
"Why don't you move in with your dad?"
"He doesn't live here anymore, he moved to Washington couple months ago." Dang. I forgot but I definitely knew that Steven's parents weren't there, they never were when I came over. I haven't found the courage to ask Steven about his parents yet. There were no pictures of them anywhere in the house or any pictures of anyone.
"Is that ... why this morning.." I slowly started to say but it was all making sense. That morning they were both in Gary's truck when they picked me up from my house and normally it would just be one of them who would pick me up and then we would meet the other one at school.
"Yeah, he lets me stay while I drive him around." Gary answered as he continued walking to this truck. I remember watching him walk toward his car and feeling sad and thinking about what he must be going through and we never talked about it again.. till now.
I wrapped my arms around Gary's shoulder as we both sat on the bed and laid my head on his shoulder also. "It's okay, you don't have talk to me or tell me anything." I softly said as I closed my eyes. I was starting to feel really bad and guilty and selfish. Gary must be going through a whole lot and I wasn't helping by being so... noisy and acting like a brat.
"Me and Steven aren't gay." Gary suddenly blurted out which startled me, making get my head off his shoulder and look at him. He had his hands cupping over his eyes. "We're so ********... We're ******** in the head." What? I watched Gary as he continued. "It first happened.... when ... that day when I ... kissed you and then you just left me there and ... I felt like s**t because I knew I shouldn't have done it. I went back here and went straight to my room and Steven knew something was wrong and he came in my room with some beer and we just talked about what happened and then Steven started talking about his family s**t and then I started to talk about my family s**t and then .... we both just broke down. We were so drunk too.." Gary couldn't help but laugh a bit at that and then he stopped and it was quiet between us.
At that moment, I was starting to feel really guilty. What if .... I did something different that day when he kissed me, would all of this still would've happened? Steven knew too, he knew what happened but he acted like he didn't. It made sense now, it was why he was acting weird himself that day after. "And then I don't remember how it happened but ... it just felt like all the pain was gone till the next morning .... when I woke up on my bed and saw...." Gary paused and I could see he was clenching his hands tighter to his face. "When I realize what we just did, and I felt like s**t all over again, and that was supposed to be it. That was supposed to be our secret and that we would never do it again."
But. "But..." Gary started to continue but then I noticed tears were going down his face. I stared in complete shock at him. This was my very first time I ever seen Gary cry, he was always so strong. I wrapped my arms around him tighter and then turned him onto my shoulder. He then hugged me so tight to him. "But I wanted the pain to stop. I wanted to stop feeling like s**t so bad ... and the only thing that made me feel that was.... with .... and he wanted the same. We both just wanted the pain to stop and to stop feeling so .... alone."
But you guys had me. I wanted to say but I knew I couldn't. I knew I couldn't be the one to help them when I was one of the reasons it all started. I couldn't help but tear up too at that moment. I never knew they were feeling this way. "Do you... guys still feel that way?" I slowly asked as I laid my head onto Gary's chest. I could feel a tear coming down my cheek now.
"Not anymore." Gary replied as he laid his head on my shoulder. "We're used to it now. Back then everything was just ******** up but we still.... to just feel better. But sometimes I can't even look in the mirror. I hate who I've become. I hate what I do, I hate myself for this." I could feel this pain in my chest. Was this all my fault? Why couldn't I ever notice that this was going on. I squeezed my hands into fist while grabbing onto Gary's hoodie. This was my fault.
If I wasn't so.... If I would've did something different when he asked me if I felt something. If I didn't break his heart when I said no. They're both paying for it by now having this huge secret and shame. I then just couldn't stop it and the tears started to come down. "I'm sorry." I said as I dug my head onto his chest. "I'm sorry." I repeated.
"Abby.." Gary started to say.
"No," I interrupted while looking up at him. "I'm sorry." That was all I could say. Was that all I could do?
He took a sigh and then I felt both his hands on my cheeks, wiping my tears with his hoodie sleeves. "Second time today I've seen you cry." He said as he he light rubbed the bottom of my eyes with his thumbs.
I abruptly moved away, turning away from him, and rubbing my eyes with the palm of my hands, and said, "Sorry, I must look really pathetic right now." I'm so pathetic. I was supposed to be there for him but here I was.. crying myself. God. "I'm the worse too." I added as more tears started to come down my cheeks but then I felt him wrapping his arms around me from behind.
"No," He whispered in my ear and wrapped me tighter to him. "You don't look pathetic and you're not the worse.... you're the best. You're the best and even when you're crying, you're beautiful." He continued in his normal voice. I slowly turned over to him in surprise. I couldn't believe he just said that. The first time a guy called me beautiful.
And as I looked over at him, I noticed how close we were. His face was just inches away from mine. I couldn't help but look at his lips. "You mean it?" I asked softly as I slowly looked away from his lips to his eyes. They were a little red from crying too.
"Every word." He whispered as he looked at me in the eyes too and then we just sat there in silence. His arms were still around me, making me push against the front of his body, and then he lowered his head and kissed me on my forehead. "You are the best." He whispered as he kept his lips on my forehead and then slowly moved them down to my left eye, making me automatically closing it as he kissed it too.
"I'm not." I whispered back as he moved his lips on me to my right eye, making me close both my eyes.
"You are." He insisted as I could feel him move down to my right cheek. His lips felt so soft against my face, just gently brushing against it without too much pressure.
"I'm not." I repeated as I could feel his arms let go of me. I quickly opened my eyes and saw that he was moving right in front of me. He grabbed both my cheeks with his hand and then pressed his forehead to mine. He was looking straight in my eyes. I could see his dark brown eyes and from far away they look black but when you get up close, you could see they were brown.
"What is with you girls and not just taking the freaking compliment?" Gary said which made me laugh a bit and then I noticed he was smiling. I wrapped my arms around his neck, making his body closer to mine.
"Well what is it with you guys and kissing our asses to just butter us up for what you want?" I replied and that made Gary laugh a bit too. He lowered his body on me which made me lower mine on the bed but of all the times he was on top of me, this was the closest I ever let him be on me.
Gary gently placed his lips on my left cheek and softly moved it to my left ear and whispered, "You think I want something?" His warm breathe blowing in my ear with each word and then I could feel him move to my neck. He took a spot and started to gently moved his lips on it. I couldn't help but let out a small sigh as I moved my head to the opposite side of where Gary was at.
"Yeah.... I really think you want something." I whispered as I closed my eyes and continued feeling Gary's lips on my neck and then I felt his tongue licking the spot too. My first time having someone kiss my neck and it felt like wow. I could feel that I was breathing harder as Gary started to kiss harder on my neck.
But then he stopped and I opened my eyes to him. He was leaning his head on the bed beside my head. "Goddamn it." I heard him say angrily.
I turned my head to him and asked, "What's wrong?"
"Why are you letting me do this?" He asked back while turning his face to mine. Uh. I didn't know what to say to that and after a few seconds of silence, "You always had the power to say no. You always could've said something. Stop letting things happen and you pretending that it's okay that it's happening." He moved off of me and sat back at the edge of the bed with his hands covering his eyes again. I slowly got off the bed and moved over next to him.
I didn't know what to say as I was sitting next to him so we just sat there. I'm sorry? I'm screwed up too? I don't know. "You know..." He started to say as he lowered down his hands off his eyes and onto his knees. He looked over at me, straight in the eyes. "I like you." And I couldn't help but feel my eyes go completely wide when he said that. "I really like you, I always liked you. Even when I knew you probably don't feel the same way, that hasn't stopped anything." My first time having a guy say he liked me... Wow.
Then I noticed, he was slowly lifting his left hand up and then placed it on my right hand. "I wish it was you. I always wish it was you that I was with and now I'm just rambling. Sorry." He then quickly took his hand off mine and back on his knee. "I accepted a long time ago that you'll never see me that way." A sting of regret came around again after he said that. I then lifted my hand up and placed it on his. He looked over at me surprised.
"Sorry.." I whispered as I leaned my head closer to him, stopping close to his face with my eyes closed and after a couple seconds, I could feel his lips touch mine softly with small movements. Fourth kiss. I slowly moved my lips onto his, first time actually kissing someone back. And thanks to that, I could feel him cupping my face with both his hands and he started to kiss me harder. This was fulfilling his the desire. I could feel it... with each time I could feel his lips press on mine and his hands on my face pushing me closer to him. He wanted this bad.
I was lost in all of the kissing and then without thinking, I slowly got my tongue in his mouth and I could feel his tongue on mine. I was lost in it. I didn't think of anything else. I forgot about everything else. I understood now that this was what he meant. The only thing that made the pain and the sadness go away. Because none of that mattered, it was just me and him.
And then I got my tongue out of his mouth and then he aggressively kissed me on the lips again. I wondered if Steven kiss like this or does his stay gentle? Wait, what? I slowly opened my eyes and saw that his eyes were closed but.... did I just think of Steven? I then broke away from the kiss. Steven... oh god. We were kissing at his house, in his parent's room, in this not sound proof house, and his room was right next door, could he hear all of this? Did he hear all of this?
"I don't want to this when Steven's around." I said as Gary took his hands off my face. Dang. As soon as he did, I could feel pressure off the sides of my face. He was smiling at me. He was happy. That was good. I smiled back and slowly got off the bed. "This was definitely fun..." Wait, that was weird of me to say. I opened the door and held it open for him. Gary then got off the bed and walked over to the door. He whispered, "Yeah," kissed me one more time, and then walked out of my room. I closed my door shut and hastily went straight to the bathroom, I wanted some mouthwash that I had on the sink.
Happy Valentine's Day! heart