The Unicorn Guardian (Chapter Four posted! C&C wanted!)

[SilverRinehart66]

NamiStar

Edit: Still liking your story SilverRinehart66, Shamira is merciless when needed.

Thank you much! That's what I was going for. biggrin By the way, you can just call me Silver, if you want. ^_^

And, no offense, but I'd like it if you two would chat via PM or somethin'. This board is getting a little too cluttered... wink

[Dynasty_Destiny710]

SilverRinehart66

NamiStar

Edit: Still liking your story SilverRinehart66, Shamira is merciless when needed.

Thank you much! That's what I was going for. biggrin

And, no offense, but I'd like it if you two would chat via PM or somethin'. This board is getting a little too cluttered... wink

Sorry sweatdrop I have a tendency to talk a lot in the wrong places. I deleted my post if that would help. And can't wait to read the next chapter. 3nodding

[SilverRinehart66]

ninja *ninjakicktofrontpage* ninja

[SilverRinehart66]

SilverRinehart66

ninja *ninjakicktofrontpage* ninja

[Jackie-Lane]

SilverRinehart66

Shamira made a comforting noise, giving him memories of being with her family, along with the feeling of being safe and happy. She showed how she was able to protect them, and that she would do the same for him and his herd. Sky was quiet, hesitant on leaving his territory. He had been born and raised there, just like his father. She knew it wouldn’t be easy for him, but she promised him he would be able to return when it was safer, though she was unsure how long it would take.


She watched them for a little while as they got acquainted with the other herds, wincing a bit as the cut on her shoulder gave a painful throb. She’d almost forgotten about it. Taking on her human form, she pressed her hand over the wound and went to the narrow river cutting through the field. She knelt down next to the water and tore off a strip of fabric from her garment, dipping it in the water before starting (I suppose that one was just a typo?) to clean the blood off her arm.


The rest of the day passed quietly, and soon everyone was settling down for the night. After finishing her evening patrol of the border, Shamira joined her mother and the others where they’d chosen to sleep. Standing close to the others, warm and comfortable, she quickly drifted off into a peaceful slumber.

to be continued...

I believe I noticed a few mistakes. If I'm mistaken about any of those, sorry. ^^' As for the story, I love it. Your unicorns feel like so much more than animals. I like Sky and his reaction to having to join Shamira's herd. I'm going to read the third chapter right away!

[SilverRinehart66]

Jackie-Lane

SilverRinehart66

Shamira made a comforting noise, giving him memories of being with her family, along with the feeling of being safe and happy. She showed how she was able to protect them, and that she would do the same for him and his herd. Sky was quiet, hesitant on leaving his territory. He had been born and raised there, just like his father. She knew it wouldn’t be easy for him, but she promised him he would be able to return when it was safer, though she was unsure how long it would take.


She watched them for a little while as they got acquainted with the other herds, wincing a bit as the cut on her shoulder gave a painful throb. She’d almost forgotten about it. Taking on her human form, she pressed her hand over the wound and went to the narrow river cutting through the field. She knelt down next to the water and tore off a strip of fabric from her garment, dipping it in the water before starting (I suppose that one was just a typo?) to clean the blood off her arm.


The rest of the day passed quietly, and soon everyone was settling down for the night. After finishing her evening patrol of the border, Shamira joined her mother and the others where they’d chosen to sleep. Standing close to the others, warm and comfortable, she quickly drifted off into a peaceful slumber.

to be continued...

I believe I noticed a few mistakes. If I'm mistaken about any of those, sorry. ^^' As for the story, I love it. Your unicorns feel like so much more than animals. I like Sky and his reaction to having to join Shamira's herd. I'm going to read the third chapter right away!

Aww, nut bunnies I thought I got all those stupid typo's! redface Thanks for that, I appreciate it. I swear something's wrong with my brain sometimes... xp I'm glad you like the story. Thanks for reading. ^_^

Sorry I haven't updated for a little while. Chapter 4 is in the works. My laptop's power cord finally crapped out, so I've had to use other computers until the new cord comes. Stupid excuse, I know... sad

[Jackie-Lane]

SilverRinehart66

Jackie-Lane

I believe I noticed a few mistakes. If I'm mistaken about any of those, sorry. ^^' As for the story, I love it. Your unicorns feel like so much more than animals. I like Sky and his reaction to having to join Shamira's herd. I'm going to read the third chapter right away!

Aww, nut bunnies I thought I got all those stupid typo's! redface Thanks for that, I appreciate it. I swear something's wrong with my brain sometimes... xp I'm glad you like the story. Thanks for reading. ^_^

Sorry I haven't updated for a little while. Chapter 4 is in the works. My laptop's power cord finally crapped out, so I've had to use other computers until the new cord comes. Stupid excuse, I know... sad

You're welcome. I love reading this. I just finished reading the third chapter and all I've got to say is this: My God, I don't understand, but I end up liking Shamira een though she seriously scares me. >< Keep up the good work. I'm always looking forward to the next chapter.

[Aiko Tiff]

It was good. I thought it got interesting too. I liked almost every word in it. It was a good story with lots of details and that gets a step closer to getting it published if you decide to get it published.

[SilverRinehart66]

ZOMGCHAPTERFOURLOL!!! mrgreen *ahem* Anyway... sorry this took so long... Stuff happened, got busy with other things, got lazy and didn't want to write... blah blah... xp I read through this several times, and I really hope I got all the errors, though it wouldn't surprise me if there are still some. If there are, I apologize in advance, my mind has a way of just glazing over type-o's and what-not. ^^;

NOTICE: If you're reading this keep in mind I am currently rewriting Chapter Four 'cuz this version isn't all that good. So, yeah. Just thought I'd mention that. razz

~Chapter Four~
An Unusual Encounter

Patience is a virtue. A phrase Daniel had heard time and time again from his mother while growing up. It was easy for her to say. She hadn’t been hiking through the woods for nearly three days, living on nothing but dried meat and fish, or the occasional rabbit. His patience was wearing thin, and frustration was quickly taking its place. All e could do was keep telling himself it would all be worth it in the end. He would find what he was looking for, eventually.

With a long sigh, Daniel adjusted the straps of his backpack and continued trudging through the dense, seemingly endless forest. He was starting to regret leaving his mule back at camp, but if he did happen to find the unicorns, he didn’t want to risk the mule making a noise and scaring the other animals.

After nearly two more hours of walking and no definite signs he was getting any closer, Daniel was ready to just give up and go home. Then, he spotted something that made his heart leap. Hurrying over to a thorny bush, he carefully reached out and removed some strands of long, yellowish hair tangled in the branches. Its silky texture confirmed it was unicorn. He was on the right track at last.

He continued along the path and the trees eventually thinned out, and a small, grassy clearing came into view. He couldn’t help but grin when he saw at least a dozen unicorns grazing near the far edge of the trees. Moving slowly and quietly, he approached. As he got close to a fallen tree, he got down on his stomach and crawled the rest of the way, peeking over the trunk to make sure the animals hadn’t sensed him. A few of them had their heads raised and their ears turned toward his side of the woods. He held his breath, barely able to contain his excitement, but not daring to move a muscle. His heart was pounding so loudly, he was sure they could hear it. Eventually, much to his relief, they went back to grazing.

Letting his breath out slowly, Daniel pulled his bag around beside him and dug into it, taking out a sharpened charcoal pencil and a leather-bound sheaf of papers. Once he had a good position, he quickly began to sketch the unicorns. He’d never seen them alive before, or so close, and they were more beautiful than he had ever imagined. Over and over, he drew them, and soon had a small stack of papers building up beside him.

As he lay there, lost in his work, a slight wind began to pick up. He paused to smooth out his paper when it folded over a bit and looked around, suddenly getting the feeling he was being watched. Seeing nothing, he shrugged and turned back to the unicorns, determined to get as many sketches as possible before the sun started to set. The wind began to blow a little harder, taking a few of his drawings with it. Cursing under his breath, he dove for the papers, snatching them before they got too far, but making more noise than he had intended in the process.

Startled by the noise, the unicorns jumped a bit a swiftly began to move away. Uttering another curse, Daniel quickly gathered up his drawings and began to stuff them into the leather binder, failing to notice when a figure dropped silently out of the trees a few feet behind him. As soon as he had all his drawings somewhat inside the binder, he started to go after the unicorns.

“Hey!” A sharp, loud voice suddenly came out of nowhere, startling him so badly he whipped around and hastily stepped backward, tripping over the fallen tree and landing on his backside. His binder slipped out of his hands and spilled its contents on the ground, but he was too worried about something else to care. In front of him stood a tall, tan-skinned woman with wild black hair and large, fierce eyes.

“What are you doing here?” The woman demanded as she stepped toward him.

Daniel scooted backwards, trying to answer, but only managing to stutter out, “I was… I uh… I was…”

Her eyes narrowed and she came closer, stopping abruptly when she stepped on one of the papers. She blinked as she looked down, tilting her head curiously. Daniel just watched quietly as she knelt down and picked up the drawing, studying it for several minutes, as if she had never seen anything like it.

The woman’s brow furrowed and she looked up at him again. “What are you doing here,” she asked again in a slightly calmer, though still demanding tone.

It took him a moment to find his voice again. “I was drawing. That’s all. I didn’t mean any harm. I just wanted to draw them,” he told her quickly.

She stared at him for a moment, glancing down at the drawing, then back at him. “You… don’t want to hurt the unicorns? You’re not hunting them?”

Daniel shook his head, “No, of course not. I’m not a hunter. I’m just an artist. I promise,” he added when she continued to stare at him, her expression unreadable.

“An artist,” she said quietly, tracing her fingers over the lines on the paper.

“Yes, that’s right,” he replied, a nervous smile appearing on his face. “And, um… what are you doing here? Besides scaring the b'Jesus out of me, of course.”

“I live here,” she answered matter-of-factly, picking up a few more of the scattered papers and studying the drawings.

Daniel’s eyebrows lifted and he slowly shifted onto his knees, watching as the woman continued to pick up the drawings, seemingly fascinated by them. “You live here? All by yourself?”

“No,” she said, giving him a look, “I live with my family.”

“Your family? There are more people here?” he wondered, moving to gather up the rest of his drawings.

The woman snorted, a hint of amusement in her dark eyes, “Not exactly.” She smirked slightly at the confused expression on his face and held out the papers out to him. “You’re a very strange human.”

Daniel chuckled, taking the drawings and putting them with the rest. “Am I? How many humans have you met?”

[SilverRinehart66]

I'm a bit unsure about this part, so excuse me if it's kinda lame... I dunno, tell me what you think. It can be rewritten if needed.

~Chapter Four, continued~

“Too many,” she replied, her expression growing a bit somber.

He stared at her, considering everything she had told him. Then, he remembered some of the things people had been saying back in his hometown, and realization dawned. “Are you… that woman people have been talking about? I’ve been hearing rumors from some of the hunters…”

A mischievous smile spread across her face, “Perhaps. What have you heard?”

“All kinds of different stories,” he answered, crossing his legs and resting his elbows on his knees. “People travel through my town a lot. Hunters, especially. They tell stories at the pub. They’ve been saying there is a ghost woman out here who lures men away from their camps and kills them. About a week ago, a man was saying he and his friends were scared out of the woods by a demon unicorn. One of them had been stabbed with his own dagger and claimed a woman in white did it,” Daniel told her, eying the white garments she wore. When she just smiled at him, he knew the answer. “It was you. You’ve been attacking the hunters.”

“I’m protecting my family,” she replied shortly, her eyes narrowing a bit.

His brow furrowed in confusion, “Your family? You mean the unicorns?”

She rolled her eyes, “Yes, the unicorns. The hunters are killing them. What would you have me do? Stand by and watch as they butcher my kin for their own selfish gain?”

“All right, all right, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you,” Daniel said quickly, holding up his hands. “I’m just… trying to understand all this.”

“What does it matter to you,” she asked, glaring at him. “Who are you, anyway? How do I know you’re not working for the hunters?”

He scrambled to his feet as she started to advance on him, backing away slowly and keeping his hands up. “Whoa, whoa, please, calm down. My name is Daniel, okay? I’m just an artist, honestly. I only came out here to see the unicorns for myself and draw them,” he told her again with panic edging his tone.

The woman paused, still eying him suspiciously. Then, she swiftly closed the distance between them. “Hold still,” she ordered before beginning to pat his sides.

Daniel's eyes widened and he froze, allowing her to search him. She felt around the inside of his jacket and along his belt, and then patted down both his legs. “Um, if you’re looking for weapons, all I have is a small hunting knife I use to skin rabbits. It’s back at my camp, though,” he explained, his voice still trembling slightly.

Apparently satisfied that he wasn’t armed, she straightened up again, studying him silently. She looked uncertain, almost confused. When she didn’t say anything, he took a breath and spoke softly, “Look, I’m sorry if I offended you. I was just curious. It’s not every day I run into a woman like you in the woods, after all.”

After a few moments, her expression softened a bit. “You really are a strange human… What did you say your name was?”

“Daniel,” he replied, letting out a small sigh of relief. “And you?”

“Shamira,” she told him, brushing a lock of hair behind her ear before leaning back against a tree. “So, what was it you were curious about?”

He scratched his head, mussing up his auburn tresses. “Well, you said the unicorns are your family. What did you mean by that?.”

She smirked, “I meant exactly what I said. They are my family. I was born a unicorn, I will die a unicorn.”

Daniel chuckled, “I must say, you are the strangest looking unicorn I’ve ever seen.”

“You don’t believe me, do you?” she asked, folding her arms over her chest. He shrugged, obviously doubtful. Shamira sighed and shook her head, “Very well. Turn around and close your eyes.”

After a moment’s hesitation, he did as she asked, closing his eyes and waiting. In a matter of seconds, he felt something bump the back of his head and he turned, unexpectedly coming face-to-face with a very large unicorn.

Eyes going wide, he let out a yelp of surprise and nearly fell again as he stumbled backward. The unicorn seemed to laugh and she tilted her head at him. Regaining his composure, Daniel looked around, trying to locate Shamira, but she was nowhere in sight. His gaze returned to the unicorn and she blinked at him, making another small noise and pawing the ground.

Eventually, he nodded slowly, swallowing hard, “Oh… t-that’s what you meant. Certainly explains a lot, I suppose.”

Shamira tossed her head and whinnied. Her body suddenly started to shrink and shift until she was human once more, and she couldn’t help but grin at the bewildered expression on Daniel’s face.

“Wow,” he finally said, running his fingers through his hair, “now I’ve seen everything. Can all unicorns do that?”

“No, I’m different than they are. I was born as a unicorn almost two years ago, but I have not been one my whole life,” she explained, absent-mindedly picking a stray leaf from her tangled mass of hair. She looked up at the sky and sighed, “It’s getting late. I need to get back to the herd.”

“Wait,” he said as she turned to leave. “There's still a lot I want to know. Can we talk again soon?”

She looked back at him, a small smile on her face, “Of course.”

“Will you come to my camp tomorrow? It’s not too far from here,” he asked, returning the smile.

“I’ll find it,” she said with a nod. “Until tomorrow.” With that, she took off into the woods. As he watched, she transformed into the unicorn again without breaking stride, and soon disappeared in the trees.

Shaking his head, but unable to stop smiling, Daniel retrieved his backpack and started back toward his camp, questions buzzing around his mind. For once, however, he was overjoyed he had followed his mother’s advice.

[SilverRinehart66]

dramallama mmmmmbrump... dramallama

[NamiStar]

Sorry I didn't read this sooner. The chapter is very good, but I prefer Daniel to be more scared, I suppose. Well, he is face to face with a unicorn woman that kills mercilessly when needed. I've seen quite a few typos, but I think you can manage to find them. Another good one. I'm actually tired right now, but I might reread this chapter again to see if there's anything I missed.

[SilverRinehart66]

NamiStar

Sorry I didn't read this sooner. The chapter is very good, but I prefer Daniel to be more scared, I suppose. Well, he is face to face with a unicorn woman that kills mercilessly when needed. I've seen quite a few typos, but I think you can manage to find them. Another good one. I'm actually tired right now, but I might reread this chapter again to see if there's anything I missed.

Understandable. I changed up the second half a bit. Any better? I caught two typos while doing so, I probably still missed some things, though. You know how I am... xp Take your time, of course. No hurry. Good to know you still like it. ^_^




Also, if anyone happens to be extremely bored, I kinda sorta maybe have a story idea posted here in my journal and was wondering if anyone could maybe comment on there and tell me what they think of it? Maybe? lol

[NamiStar]

SilverRinehart66

NamiStar

Sorry I didn't read this sooner. The chapter is very good, but I prefer Daniel to be more scared, I suppose. Well, he is face to face with a unicorn woman that kills mercilessly when needed. I've seen quite a few typos, but I think you can manage to find them. Another good one. I'm actually tired right now, but I might reread this chapter again to see if there's anything I missed.

Understandable. I changed up the second half a bit. Any better? I caught two typos while doing so, I probably still missed some things, though. You know how I am... xp Take your time, of course. No hurry. Good to know you still like it. ^_^




Also, if anyone happens to be extremely bored, I kinda sorta maybe have a story idea posted here in my journal and was wondering if anyone could maybe comment on there and tell me what they think of it? Maybe? lol

Quite better, I suppose. I feel like a very special element is missing, but maybe it's me. As for your journal, I look at it tonight. My mind isn't working that well (maybe that's why I felt your story is a bit off).

[SilverRinehart66]

NamiStar

SilverRinehart66

NamiStar

Sorry I didn't read this sooner. The chapter is very good, but I prefer Daniel to be more scared, I suppose. Well, he is face to face with a unicorn woman that kills mercilessly when needed. I've seen quite a few typos, but I think you can manage to find them. Another good one. I'm actually tired right now, but I might reread this chapter again to see if there's anything I missed.

Understandable. I changed up the second half a bit. Any better? I caught two typos while doing so, I probably still missed some things, though. You know how I am... xp Take your time, of course. No hurry. Good to know you still like it. ^_^




Also, if anyone happens to be extremely bored, I kinda sorta maybe have a story idea posted here in my journal and was wondering if anyone could maybe comment on there and tell me what they think of it? Maybe? lol

Quite better, I suppose. I feel like a very special element is missing, but maybe it's me. As for your journal, I look at it tonight. My mind isn't working that well (maybe that's why I felt your story is a bit off).

Coolies, at least it's a little better. biggrin Something still missing, though, eh? Hmmm.... *ponders*

Thanks, I'd appreciate it. I'm not sure if it's something you'd like or not. *shrug* It's okay if you don't like it, I don't think many people on here would, considering it involves werewolves... redface Anyway.... umm....

.....

ninja *poofs away to read other threads*