The Unicorn Guardian (Chapter Four posted! C&C wanted!)

[SilverRinehart66]

ninja *nudge to page one* ninja

[technologii]

Wow, I really like this story!

At first I read the title and thought, "Wow, unicorns, this is gonna be dumb."

But after reading it, I love it!!!

More!

[princessfafa]

The random deity is back and when I remembered unicorns I thought of cows with horns...
My valentines this year are Winnie the Pooh and My Little Pony. They're gonna kick butt!
dramallama

[SilverRinehart66]

sessqueen

Wow, I really like this story!

At first I read the title and thought, "Wow, unicorns, this is gonna be dumb."

But after reading it, I love it!!!

More!

I'm glad you gave it a chance, and glad you enjoyed it. ^_^

princessfafa

The random deity is back and when I remembered unicorns I thought of cows with horns...
My valentines this year are Winnie the Pooh and My Little Pony. They're gonna kick butt!
dramallama

Haha! Sweeet. My Little Pony is awesome. blaugh

[SilverRinehart66]

ninja merf.... still lookin' for more feedbacks... Chapter 2 will be up soon... I hope... ninja

[Klabautermann]

Ah, me loves it! You actually killed someone, that is a great progress! A really tragic one, but at least a realistic one! ( as realistic as a story about unicorns can get lol).

I can't wait for more! You writing is really good, and by what I read so far, I believe you have a very good story as well.

[SilverRinehart66]

Hey everyone! Got some fresh material for yah! This chapter is gonna be a little slower than the first, as in not much action or anything, so hopefully you aren't too bored. Same as always, let me know if there's anything that should be changed, or sounds stupid or whatever! Sorry it's not much, but I hope it'll hold you over until I get the rest of the chapter done! Hehee...

~Chapter Two~
(no title yet)

As soon as the horses were out of sight, Shamira resumed her unicorn form and started through the woods in search of the small herd. Hopefully, she could convince them to come with her and join her herd, as she had done with others. Keeping as many of them together as possible made it easier to protect them.

Following a trail through the forest, she soon came upon the herd gathered in a small clearing. As she approached, they lifted their heads, their ears pointed forward curiously. The stormy-gray stallion stepped forward, watching her carefully with his head held high, showing he was not intimidated by her size. She could tell by his stance he was the dominant, in charge of protecting the herd from predators and other dangers. Shamira would have to convince him there were certain predators he could not stop on his own.

Keeping her head low in respect of his status, she went up to the stallion, waiting for him to make the first move. He regarded her for a few more moments before whinnying softly and lowering his head a bit. He wanted to communicate. Shamira moved forward until their horns touched near the base and closed her eyes. Unicorns had a rather unique way of speaking to each other. By touching horns, they could link minds, in a way, and exchange memories and feelings to convey messages when neighing wasn’t enough.

The stallion started by showing her images of gray clouds rolling through the sky, then the start of a rain storm. He was trying to tell her his name, or just what the other unicorns called him. Judging by his color, which was how they usually got their names, she guessed it was close to Sky Before the Rain in human tongue. In return, she gave him images of a clear night sky lit by the moon. Shamira’s family referred to her as Moonlit Sky at Night, as it was too difficult to tell them her real name.

Once he was more comfortable, she began to show him what had happened earlier, how the hunters had snuck up on the herd and nearly killed him. She added memories of coming across dead unicorns, their horns carved out of their skulls, their manes and tails hacked off. Over and over, she showed him humans with weapons, coupled with images of natural predators such as cougars, helping him to understand how dangerous humans were.

Sky returned with a memory of his own; a pure-white mare, dead and mutilated like so many others. A feeling of affection, the deep sadness washed over Shamira’s mind. The white mare had been the dominant female. Shamira nuzzled his nose, letting him know she understood his pain. This herd had suffered many other losses, and Sky felt lost and scared.

Shamira made a comforting noise, giving him memories of being with her family, along with the feeling of being safe and happy. She showed how she was able to protect them, and that she would do the same for him and his herd. Sky was quiet for a few moments, considering her offer. Then, he bumped his nose against hers and whinnied quietly. He accepted.

With a happy whinny of her own, Shamira told him to follow. He called to the rest of the herd and together they set off through the woods once again.

[technologii]

Yes!

I loved the way the unicorns were able to speak with each other through pictures and touching the base of their horns together. Very creative.

I was hoping for a longer post, but it's all gooood.

[UmWhat]

I am starting to like this story a lot. smile

Chapter 2 is the beginning of your creation of some strong emotional attachment to the characters which I felt was missing from Chapter 1.

[SilverRinehart66]

sessqueen

Yes!

I loved the way the unicorns were able to speak with each other through pictures and touching the base of their horns together. Very creative.

I was hoping for a longer post, but it's all gooood.

Yay! That's good. Glad you liked it.

More will come soon, I hope. I'm in a bit of a writing rut at the moment, unfortunately. sweatdrop

UmWhat

I am starting to like this story a lot. smile

Chapter 2 is the beginning of your creation of some strong emotional attachment to the characters which I felt was missing from Chapter 1.

Cool, thank you! 4laugh

[technologii]

Ahh, so am I, and it sucks, doesn't it!

I have the ridiculous urge to write, but whenever I sit down at my computer my mind goes blank and I can't write anything worthwhile! crying

[SilverRinehart66]

sessqueen

Ahh, so am I, and it sucks, doesn't it!

I have the ridiculous urge to write, but whenever I sit down at my computer my mind goes blank and I can't write anything worthwhile! crying

Ugh, tell me about it! crying It's hard to break a huge lump of writer's block...

[technologii]

SilverRinehart66

sessqueen

Ahh, so am I, and it sucks, doesn't it!

I have the ridiculous urge to write, but whenever I sit down at my computer my mind goes blank and I can't write anything worthwhile! crying

Ugh, tell me about it! crying It's hard to break a huge lump of writer's block...

Especially when you get like, this huge idea that sounds sooo good in your head, and when you sit down to write it, it's either gone or sounds retarded!

Eff, I wanna write soo bad. scream

[SilverRinehart66]

dramallama mmmmmmbump... dramallama

[SilverRinehart66]

*poke poke*