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The Others

Chaptar 1

"Raven!" Ravens mom called up the stairs. "Get up! The bus will be here soon! You have about 15 minutes!" Raven groaned. Why couldnt she just driver her to school? All her mom does is look at the stars and study some stupid glowing rocks! "Raven I’m going to count to 3 and if you’re not at your door by 3 you’re not going to that party!" Ravens mom screamed up the stairs again. Raven Bolted up right in her bed. Zoe’s party! She almost forgot her best friends Party! How could she be so stupid!?
"...2...1--" She burst from her room. "I’m up I’m up! Happy?" She yelled down the stairs. Her mom looked pleased with herself. "Raven is Saturday and it’s already 11 A.M!" Raven looked at her horrified. Why does she always do that to her? Aren't the weekends called the WeekENDS for a reason? She turned and went stomping back to her room. "I'm 16!" Raven yelled to herself. "Why does she still treat me like I’m 5?" She sat on her bed thinking wile she look at the pictures she drew. Her room is a small one. She moved here 7 years ago and was the youngest so she got the smallest.
The room is covered with all white walls and Raven hates it... so she decorated her walls with art and writing...she wrote her poetry on the walls, colored on the walls and painted little pictures on them too. Raven wanted to make it more "her"... instead of bland... she sat up and got dressed, putting on a clean pair of underwear and jeans and a short sleeved shirt and high-tops. She turned to look in the mirror and there’s a girl standing behind her with no face...


End of Chaper 1

Note: THIS IS A DRAFT! i want your appinion on it! Please be nice. and if you guys like it ill continue it!

SPECAL THANKS TO: Stilla Maris. Thank you Stilla for helping me with this and giveing me ideas and helping me carry on with my story. You are a big help! heart

~Raven
you need to put a paragraph break when there's a new thought, action, or speaker.

Proper spelling (or an attempt thereof and editing uncaught mistakes) are part of the forum rules.
1Raven224's avatar

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Moral Gutpunch
you need to put a paragraph break when there's a new thought, action, or speaker.

Proper spelling (or an attempt thereof and editing uncaught mistakes) are part of the forum rules.


thanks! ill edit that now! smile
Your draft shows that you have a very interesting idea, and I hope you continue to work on it. When you finish the draft, you can go back and be picky and perfect it. The most important thing is to finish the story.

Have you written anymore?
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Chapter 2

When Raven looked up into the Mirror ready to put eye-liner on she saw a small faceless girl standing behind her. She had short thin blond hair and a cute white dress with a perfect heart shaped face. She would have been cute if her face wasn't missing.
Raven quickly spun around to scream and yell at her but she was gone. Raven suddenly realized her heart was beating hard against her rib cage. She took a deep breath. "Calm down Raven..." She told herself. "You’re just seeing things." Raven said this aloud but couldn’t help but not believe it. Raven silently put on her makeup and grabbed her bag. She quickly went down the stairs 2 at a time and jumped down to the landing with a loud thud.
"Raven what have i told you about jumping to the landing?" Her mom yelled from the kitchen. Raven walked in wile her mom was washing the dishes with steaming hot water.
"To not to I know..." Raven mumbled under her breath
"If you knew it you wouldn’t of done it would you?" her mom put the wash rag down and put one hand on her hip and looked at her seriously and Raven dug through the fridge.
"I know, I know. I’m sorry. I’ll try harder next time. Promise!" she smiled at her mom as she grabbed the milk and some strawberries. Raven looked over and saw the steam from the dishes fogged up the window. Funny, it suddenly seemed life was like a window... one minute it was clear and the next it was...."What is that?" Raven said aloud squinting at the window. Her mom turned to look.
Suddenly being written before their eyes was the words scribbled like a 5th graders handwriting was the words "Hurry and tell her!"
small edit:

"Raven!" Raven’s mom called up the stairs. "Get up! The bus will be here soon! You have about 15 minutes!"

Raven groaned. Why couldn’t her mom just driver her to school? All her mom does is look at the stars and study some stupid glowing rocks!

"Raven I’m going to count to 3 and if you’re not at your door by 3 you’re not going to that party!" Raven’s mom screamed up the stairs again. Raven Bolted up right in her bed. Zoe’s party! She almost forgot her best friends Party! How could she be so stupid!? "...2...1--"

Raven burst from her room. "I’m up I’m up! Happy?" She yelled down the stairs. Her mom looked pleased with herself.

"Raven its Saturday and it’s already 11 A.M!"

Raven looked at her horrified. Why does her mom always do that to her? Aren't the weekends called the WeekENDS for a reason? Raven turned and went stomping back to her room. "I'm 16!" She yelled to herself. "Why does she still treat me like I’m 5?" She sat on her bed thinking while she looked at the pictures she drew on the walls of her small bedroom. She had to have the smallest room because she was the youngest of seven. But the room was still hers, and she made it her own. She ended the tyranny of white walls with decorating them with poetry she wrote and her colorful pictures.

She sat up and got dressed, putting on a clean pair of underwear and jeans and a short sleeved shirt and high-tops. She turned to look in the mirror: there behind her was a girl with no face...

The girl had short thin blond hair and a cute white dress with a perfect heart shaped face. She would have been adorable if her face wasn't missing. Raven quickly spun around to scream and yell at her but she was gone. Raven’s heart was beating hard against her rib cage.

She took a deep breath. "Calm down Raven..." She told herself. "You’re just seeing things." She said aloud, but couldn’t help but not believe it. Raven silently put on her makeup and grabbed her bag. She quickly went down the stairs two at a time and jumped down to the landing with a loud thud.

"Raven what have I told you about jumping to the landing?" Her mom yelled from the kitchen.
Raven walked in wile her mom was washing the dishes with steaming hot water. "To not to I know..." Raven mumbled under her breath.

"If you knew it you wouldn’t of done it would you?" her mom put the wash rag down and put one hand on her hip and looked at her seriously and Raven dug through the fridge.

"I know, I know. I’m sorry. I’ll try harder next time. Promise!" she smiled at her mom as she grabbed the milk and some strawberries. Raven looked over and saw the steam from the dishes fogged up the window. Funny, it suddenly seemed life was like a window... one minute it was clear and the next it was...."What is that?" Raven said aloud squinting at the window. Her mom turned to look.

Being written before their eyes was the words scribbled like a 5th graders handwriting was the words "Hurry and tell her!"
The Dr Waffle's avatar

Original Ladykiller

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e~O....im liken it...MORE!!!!....XD
1Raven224's avatar

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Robertkenneth
e~O....im liken it...MORE!!!!....XD

lol thank you so much! smile i will work on some more!
The Dr Waffle's avatar

Original Ladykiller

12,550 Points
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1Raven224
Robertkenneth
e~O....im liken it...MORE!!!!....XD

lol thank you so much! smile i will work on some more!


your welcome....you should also check out my story i posted today as well...e~O.....
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Chapter 3

Ravens heart suddenly seemed to frees right in the middle of a beat. “Mom,” Raven choked out of there throat passed a knot that had formed. Her mom turned to look.
“Oh my gosh!” he mother said loudly looking a little horrified.
“I know… the word just—“Raven began to say but her mother cut her off
“Look at the time Raven you are going to be late for Zoe’s party!” her mother said urgently getting up and pushing Raven out of her seat to the door were her shoes lay. Raven was still in a little bit of shock but got her shoes on and got out the door. Raven walked over to Zoe’s thinking about the writing. But she had to push the thought out of her mind. This is Zoe’s day and Raven shouldn’t spoil it over some silly writing. Maybe her mom did it. Maybe her mom wanted to start her day out spooky to wake her up even more.
Raven rang the doorbell and she the familiar sound of Zoe stomping down the steps quickly and opening the door in 3…2….1—The door swung open and Zoe stood there with a huge smile on her face.
“Hey there girlfriend!” Zoe said with a little swag to it. Zoe pulled Raven in for a hug. Raven hugged back and stepped into the house. Raven had come over early to help set up the entire decor. Her parents were out of town so Zoe was throwing a little girl party. Raven looked around at all the bags full of décor and sighed.
“You did it again… you bought too much!” Raven looked at Zoe. Zoe blushed in happiness and in guilt.
“Oh Raven… more the merrier they always say… and so do I!” Zoe winked at raven as she grabbed a back full of balloons and started blowing them up. Raven grabbed a green one and stretched it a little. Zoe started rambling about all the plans she had for the party and Raven just fell into her thoughts. Raven put the balloon to her lips and started blowing air into it. Why did her mom avoid her when they saw the writing… was her mom hiding something?? Did her mom not want her to know about something? Raven thought more and more and the more she thought about it the more it seemed true.
“Oh my god Raven what are you trying to do?! Float away?” Zoe said with some shock.
Raven snapped back to reality a little too late and the balloon burst in her face. She winced thinking it would sting but it didn’t.
“Oh…. I’m sorry… I didn’t mean to…” Raven shuddered over her words feeling bad.
“Raven what’s wrong?” Zoe said setting down her balloon. Zoe reached out a hand and touched Ravens shoulder.
No. Raven can’t ruin Zoe’s party by blabbing and making her friend worry… but if her mom was hiding something… who else could she go to? Raven looked at Zoe and told her everything. About the faceless girl and the writing in the widow and how her mom seemed to avoid her.
“Raven…” Zoe stopped for a second and thought long and hard. “About the writing… for someone to write on the window… wouldn’t they have to be inside the house to do that?”
Raven froze in terror realizing Zoe was right.

Hey guys! sorry i dint post anything sonner. shchool and everything. so here is the 3rd chaptar. im stying to make them longer. lol. Enjoy! heart
I like Zoe! biggrin I like the party setting. It is opposite of the scary situation. I love that
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Stilla Maris
I like Zoe! biggrin I like the party setting. It is opposite of the scary situation. I love that

lol thank you! smile
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Chapter 4

The More Raven thought about it, the more terrified she seemed to get. Raven looked at her high tops and narrowed her eyes. It was already 5:00 and the party would start in a half an hour. Raven looked up at Zoe who was hanging up some Décor.
“Hey Zoe?” Raven said with a little choke. Zoe turned a little and gave her a sideways look.
“Yeah?” she answered. “Did I put it up crooked? Its lame isn’t it? I knew I should have gotten the flashing lights!” Zoe frowned suddenly seeming mad at herself.
“Oh! No it looks wonderful I was just wondering if I could lay down for a little… My dead hurts and I don’t want to be a party pooper at this cool party!” Raven said with a faint smile.
Zoe blinked a little and laughed. “Sure, sure. Go ahead. You basically live here silly! Go lay down. No party poopers are allowed at this party. So you better feel great when people start showing up!” Zoe smiles at Raven which made her feel a little better and not so bad at all. Raven slowly got up and walked over to the couch to lie down. This was her favorite couch of the entire world. She and Zoe had so many wonderful memories on this couch. The first horror movie they say when they were 6 (Bloody Marry. Zoe ended up peeing her pants and her mom got mad at us for watching the movie) and they jumped on it so much that the far left one collapsed in. and this was the first place Raven had made a pinky promise to Zoe. Raven smiled to herself with all the wonderful memories… She looked up at the celling and slowly drifted into a deep, deep sleep.

Im on a roll now! i decided to share this storry with one of my fave teachers Mrs. Stratman and she LOOOOOVES it! shes makeing me write a new chapter whenever i can. So i hope you all enjoy! its not much in this chapter. its just so you get to know a little more about Zoe and Raven and how close of friends they are. you wanna know a lot b/c later in the storry something will come up you probobly never saw comeing!! smile ENJOY!!
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Chapter 5

Raven dreamed that she was in a large forest and there was a big tree smack in front of her and she looked at it closely. Suddenly a little girl appeared in front of her, the same girl that was in her bedroom. The only difference was she had a face now. What was going on? Raven looked confused and felt very angry with her for not knowing. The littler girl smiled.
“Tanner!” She called out and ran past Raven. She seemed to have a little skip to her step.
“Oh hey there Anna!” Tanner said. “Were where you? I got worried when I couldn’t find you in your bedroom.” Tanner hugged Anna tightly.
Anna hugged back as tight as she could. “I visited Raven.” Anna looked up at Tanner with big blinking eyes.
Raven froze for a second. The must be talking about a different Raven… they couldn’t be talking about her. There are plenty of Ravens… but Anna did visit her… Raven rubbed her forehead and groaned. What was going on!? All this weird stuff is happening and it hasn’t ever happened to her before until today and its making her stressed and tired.
Tanner looked at Anna and Raven saw a little bit of anger in her face but Tanner must of stomped the feeling out because it was gone as fast as it had come.
“What did I tell you about checking in on her? What if she was taking a shower? Or getting dressed or something?” Tanner looked down at Anna hard with a very serious look on her face. Anna looked down.
“But Tanner there was something weird about this time… it was like she could see me… and when I looked in the mirror I saw myself… but my face was gone! I freeked out and disappeared to the roof!” Anna shuttered.
Tanner seemed to take her time to reply. “Hmm… she’s more powerful that we thought…” Tanner brushed her bangs from her face and looked at Anna. “Don’t worry you have your face… the reason why you didn’t have your face was because Jacob and I believe that Raven can weaken people’s powers so they barley work… sometimes… so your powers only worked on disappearing your face… Next time you check on her make sure you appear somewhere so if you are visible you are hidden and she can’t see you. I don’t want anything weird going on before we can tell her she isn’t human.”
Ravens heart pounded loudly in her ears. What were they talking about?! She was human. She was nothing more than that. She doesn’t have any “powers”. Raven turned. She wanted to wake up. This dream was getting too weird for her…
Raven looked at her feet and thought hard on waking up. She pinched herself and the dream started to blur into darkness and she slowly woke up to Zoe blinking in her face.
Zoe smiled. “Hey there sleepy head! Have a nice nap?” a few people had arrived to the party and they were talking in the dining room.
Raven groaned and sat up rubbing her eyes. “Sorry… I didn’t mean to sleep to much… is there anything I can do?” Raven looked up at Zoe and smiled a little still thinking about the dream.
“Yeah actually. Why don’t you use your magical powers to whip us up some amazing slushy drinks?” Zoe looked happy with a big fat smile on her face.
Raven swallowed the big lump in her throat. “Um… s-sure thing there Zoe.” Raven got up and headed to the kitchen in a hurry.
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Chapter 6
Raven added the ice cubs into the blender with the lemonade and started up the blender. Raven tapped her fingers on the counter in frustration. What was going on with her? She is a perfect human being and not some….weird… super human. If she was scientists would be all over her and testing her… but they knew about her…. And the faceless girl… they seemed to understand Raven. And they clearly seemed to know a lot about her. She sighed and turned off the blender. She grabbed a few cups and pored the slushy into the cups. Raven picked up the cups and walked out of the room. She went straight to the dining room to set them down in front of all the girls. Only a few had shown up. According to the timer on the microwave the party starts in 10 minutes. Only Jackie, Amanda, Sophie and Becca are already at the party. They were popular. But they were a sweet kind of popular. They weren’t the mean stuck up ones you saw in the moves. Well, at least Raven hasn’t experienced that at all. And she hoped shed never have to. She set the drinks down in front of them and they were gossiping about the new kid Caden. Raven listened as she set down the drinks. Caden had just moved here a few weeks ago and she had talked with him every now and then. She let him borrow her notes from math and she talked about the town and where he had moved from. He was handsome. He had a perfectly built body. His bark black hair just over his face and his eyes were a sea foam color. Raven sat down and listened in. “-and like.. oh my gawd did you see him playing basket ball? He had his shirt off and his six pack was to die for! Oh and he glanced at me!” Raven smiled then thought. He seemed to be paying more attention to her than any other girl in school… why was that? There were plenty of prettier girls with better bodies too. She blushed at the stupid thought and looked at her slushy.
“So Raven, has Caden glanced at you yet?” said Amanda in a snickering way.
Raven looked at her slushy again and took a sip. “Well actually he’s looked at me for… a while?” Raven pondered. “Yeah around 5 minutes? We talk a lot and I let him borrow my math notes because he falls asleep in class and—“ she was suddenly cut of my Jackie clearing her throat.
Jackie gave her a long hard glare “Well… who cares? He’s not your type anyway.” Jackie flipped some hair over her solder and the other girls did the same. Zoe looked kind of confused when she came into the room.
Raven suddenly felt a jolt of anger go through her and she wished she had kept her mouth shut when she said “Well he’s said I was pretty!” She wished she could take the comment back right as it came out. The other girls looked at her in horror. Jackie slammed her fist on the table and yelled “you’re not even pretty! What is there to like about a stuck up snob like you! Your probably lying right now!” Jackie glared and Raven sprung up and left the room. She didn’t want enemies. She never really did, but something told her she just did.

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