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Evoblack's avatar

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I am writing a story that strongly involves the Greek gods, primarily revolving around the Greek goddess Enyo. Capturing Enyo's essence has been rather difficult for me, but I do think that I have managed do so. Posted below is a snippet of the story from her perspective. I would like some clear and honest feedback as to her character and how well I portrayed her.

Synopsis: Enyo and Ares have returned to Olympus after warring amongst mortals on the earth. Ares spends his time with Aphrodite, Aphrodite making it clear that she, and the other gods, look down upon her because she is a minor goddess. Enyo encounters Athena, who she does not particularly like--hates even. The goddess of wisdom offers Enyo her wisdom.

Quote:
Enyo’s eyes snapped in longing to her brother and then to Aphrodite. The goddess of love had her body pressed to Ares’s, even in the presence of her husband Hephaestus. Her curling gold hair spilled over slim shoulders, which brushed over Ares’s chest as she leaned up to whisper something in his ear. Aphrodite’s supple chest was unsubtly pressed up against Ares’s hard and flat one. Aphrodite’s ocean blue eyes slid to the side and caught Enyo’s. A beautiful and cruel smile quirked the edges of her lusciously pink lips. Nothing but contempt could be read in her eyes and her smile. Once again, she could feel hate pulsating through her body. Jealousy and rage pounded in her head like a heart. Enyo bared her teeth at Aphrodite.
Aphrodite giggled meanly and gestured toward Enyo. “Ares, your sister is awaiting an invitation to join us.”
“Ah, Enyo!” Ares exclaimed, turning toward his sister. He motioned a hand toward one of couches that surrounded Ares. “Come, have a seat with us.”
Several of the other gods in Ares’s company eyed Enyo with quiet contempt. Enyo locked her jaw, eyes narrowed, and stayed where she was. “I am comfortable here,” she answered.
Ares craned his neck up to look at Enyo. He was about to say something when Aphrodite intervened. “She is comfortable there,” Aphrodite purred. Her silky soft hands stroked the rough flesh of his chest. “Why not let her be? Perhaps she can find a seat…somewhere else?”
Ares nodded. “Yes, you should.”
Enyo pulled back her lips over her teeth and bared her teeth at the love goddess. Aphrodite giggled in reply and waggled her fingers at her. Turning on her heel, Enyo strolled away. As she left, Enyo could hear whispers about her.
“Why does she insist on being a war goddess?”
“She is only a minor deity. She has no power. Why is she with you, Ares?”
“She is my sister,” she heard him reply. “I allow her to be with me only because of that.”
“She looks quite jealous,” Aphrodite mused. “Maybe she could…?”
“I feel nothing for her.”
Her teeth, clenched so hard together, bit through her tongue. The pain was sharp, but it was nothing compared to that in her heart. Two sharp knives had embedded themselves on either side so that the pain was equal. Her brother did not desire her company, and he did not care for her as she cared for him. Enyo ran out onto a terrace where the conversation could not be heard. The cool night air or the garden’s intoxicating scents hardly penetrated her deep thoughts. Slamming her fists down on the marble ledge, she sank down onto her knees. Everything in her body was so tight that she found herself to be literally shaking. Tears trickled from the war goddess’s eyes and plopped onto the marble floor beneath her.
Enyo could taste the bitter acridness of the blood in her mouth. It mixed with her saliva, but it was not an unpleasant flavor. Eyes fluttering open, she found herself focusing more and more on the taste. Concentrating on that one thing helped her body and her mind to relax their violent pulsing.
“Their pride makes them believe they are above the rest,” an even voice spoke.
Once again, Enyo tensed her body. Panting, she jumped to her feet, assuming a warrior’s stance, and flipped around to face the speaker. Facing her with a wise and cool face was no other goddess but Athena. She was alone; seeing this made Enyo relax only a fraction. Her fists had instinctively come up to protect herself, and she lowered them back down to her sides.
“Be calm, Enyo. I do not intend to harm.”
“What do you want?” Enyo spat.
Athena’s brown eyes coolly blinked at her half-sister. “Merely to have said what I said. There are some reasons for cruelty.”
Enyo snorted. “Cruelty does not need a reason, Athena. It is.”
“Perhaps.” Athena turned her head to view the garden. The night breeze wafted through her deep brown hair. Its slight curls straightened out in the movement of the air. As the breeze settled, her hair arranged itself back into its modest curls. “Yet, there are reasons for some things.”
“If you speak of war—”
“Not specifically, but it could be considered.”
Enyo smirked up at her sister. “I am not going to be converted to the civilized side.”
“I do not attempt conversion.”
“Then leave.”
Silently, Enyo watched as Athena turned around. Possibly she heard the danger in Enyo’s tone and thought it best not to deal with an angry goddess of war. Unfortunately, there was not much Enyo could do when compared with Athena. Enyo was only a minor goddess, whereas Athena possessed greater power. Athena would be able to outsmart her in any battle. Enyo’s movements in battle were often on a whim, which Athena knew well. Still, Enyo held great bloodlust that Athena lacked; that in itself was potently deadly.
The blood lingering on her tongue caused her to ponder on the increasing bloodlust earlier that day in the battlefield. Strangely, the taste of the blood on her tongue made her mouth water for more. There was an unspoken question there that Enyo was not sure that she should be asking. It was that question that made her call out to Athena.
Athena paused, listening. Enyo asked, “Can a god drink mortal blood? Or consume mortal flesh?”
The goddess of wisdom spun around to face her fellow goddess. “Your question is unorthodox but not unexpected.
“No god has ever attempted to drink mortal blood or eat mortal flesh,” Athena said. “The effects are not known. But, if you want an answer, look upon the mortals and see the effect it has on them. Some mortal victors of war consume the blood, and even the flesh, of their enemies. It turns them vile, bestial, and inhuman. They want more and more flesh and blood. Does that grant you an idea?”
Enyo was left with a dry mouth. Never had she thought of it in such a way. If a god had such power, then surely the effects would be catastrophic. Reluctantly, Enyo swallowed to moisten her mouth and nodded in response. By this time, the blood had completely gone down her throat, but Enyo could still taste it there. It would not leave her, not even after she had consumed it. Enyo wanted more of it.

She thought; those thoughts that she thought angered her. Much pounded through Enyo’s mind: fury at Aphrodite and Ares, confusion at her feelings, and love-turned-hate for Ares. All she wanted was to strangle the two gods until they died. They did not deserve to make her suffer so! Unfortunately, there was nothing that Enyo could do unless she wanted to incur Zeus’s wrath. Her father’s wrath was more potent than even hers. Zeus was king of the gods and did not take matters lightly. Surely an attack on Aphrodite would provoke Ares’s retaliation upon her.
How tempted she was to try something! Yet, she was reluctant to make Ares think badly of her. It was sad that she loved her brother in a way he would never love her. The only thing he cared for was war, victory, and Aphrodite. A bitter sort of melancholy filled her that morning as she leaned over the railing of the balcony of her room window. Her hands gripped the railing so tightly that her knuckles were white. Tense was her body, almost poised for battle. Inside, she could feel her heart undeniably breaking. Everything was as it was the night before: her crying alone at the edge of the palace.
She hated this weakness! Enyo would never normally show such feelings to the world. Her domain was the blinding anger of battle and nothing else. She was a warrior in every aspect. How could she not be prepared for a battle with herself? The more she thought about it, the weaker she considered herself to be.
Wiping away the tears, Enyo forced herself to be as calm as she could manage. It was not easy to be calm when every part of her nature cried out to fight. Narrowing her eyes, Enyo convinced herself to trek through the halls of the palace. No one eye was cast onto her; it was as if she were invisible. After the last night’s humiliation, Enyo dared not call attention to herself.

That was beatuiful heart MORE! cat_crying
Fireweed_honey's avatar

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Well, that was way better then I was thinking. Very well written and I didn't catch any major mistakes.

I do have a comment to make. After Enyo's comment of "Can a god eat mortal flesh" and Athena's answer of "None have tried." For one thing, you have Athena's answer as two different paragraphs, when it should continue on. There should not be a break between the unorthadox statement and none have tried. I'm guessing that was a slight mistake, easily fixed.

The other thing about that comment is, it's not exactly true. There is a myth where the gods eat (albeit accidently) the flesh of a mortal. I can't remember the name of the king now, but I think the son's name was Pelops. The king invites the gods to dine with him and cooks his son as a test to see if they know it is human. All the gods take a bite and know that he has tricked them, except Demeter (who is worried over teh disappearance of Persephone). She eats his shoulder. The gods reform the young man and give him a new shoulder to replace the one Demeter ate, and the father is punished forever in Tartalus. His punishment, I think, was to be either crushed forever under a boulder or have his liver eaten out (just like Prometheus).

So, it's not that none of have tried, it's that they refuse to eat human flesh. Only Demeter has ever consumed flesh.
Evoblack's avatar

Toothsome Citizen

Fireweed_honey
Well, that was way better then I was thinking. Very well written and I didn't catch any major mistakes.

I do have a comment to make. After Enyo's comment of "Can a god eat mortal flesh" and Athena's answer of "None have tried." For one thing, you have Athena's answer as two different paragraphs, when it should continue on. There should not be a break between the unorthadox statement and none have tried. I'm guessing that was a slight mistake, easily fixed.

The other thing about that comment is, it's not exactly true. There is a myth where the gods eat (albeit accidently) the flesh of a mortal. I can't remember the name of the king now, but I think the son's name was Pelops. The king invites the gods to dine with him and cooks his son as a test to see if they know it is human. All the gods take a bite and know that he has tricked them, except Demeter (who is worried over teh disappearance of Persephone). She eats his shoulder. The gods reform the young man and give him a new shoulder to replace the one Demeter ate, and the father is punished forever in Tartalus. His punishment, I think, was to be either crushed forever under a boulder or have his liver eaten out (just like Prometheus).

So, it's not that none of have tried, it's that they refuse to eat human flesh. Only Demeter has ever consumed flesh.


You know, I've never actually heard of that myth! That's partly the reason why I did post this on here because I did want to get input on the mythology.
As to the paragraph break, I did do that on purpose. When a new subject is begun, a new paragraph must be created.
more please heart
terradi's avatar

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The house is Atreus. And the family was cursed by the gods for generation after generation.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Atreus

For a very general link with information on it.

If you have money to spend or can get to a library to check out an old classic I recommend Edith Hamilton's Mythology. She covers the House of Atreus in detail.

She lists Eris as Aries' sister and Enyo as a separate goddess entirely, though wiki notes that Homer holds that Enyo and Eris are the same goddess.
Not bad at all! I always love it when people come with stories about the Greek gods, they're always so entertaining. I don't really like how Aphrodite is portrayed in a lot of them (mainly as ignorant and uncaring), but that's the interpretation most people get from her mythology. I do like how you portrayed Enyo, though. It's what I would expect from a goddess of war and chaos. It's well written too, and I can't find any grammar mistakes or misspellings. I would love to read more!

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