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Hilarious Genius

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  • Mark Twain 100
  • Survivor 150
  • Autobiographer 200
"I really ******** up," he said, his voice shaky. his eyes filling with tears. "I don't know what to do any more, Mom" But the woman he called more wouldn't talk, for he was on his knees in front of a gravestone. Marie Ellane Mason 1970-2012

Two years dead, Tervor Mason never got over her death, but his older brother Kane only visited when he was in deep trouble that usually ended up in broken bones and black eyes. Kane had an addiction to gambling that was as ferice as a junkies' next fix.

"Seventy Thousand deep, I don't think I will last long on this earth much longer, Mom," he said as a single tear fell down his cheeks. Then, a crack filled the cold, night air. Someone had stepped on a twig, causing Kane to look back. A man in a black leather jacket pointed a pistol towards Kane's direction, but before he could pull the trigger, Kane dashed off behind a tree as the armmed man fired. None of the sluggs hit Kane, but three had broke his mother's tombstone into pieces. "Rest in Pieces," the shooter said, probably thinking it was funny, but Kane never had much of a sense of humor.

"Mason! Stark isn't happy with your rescent lost, and he said he is done dealing with your bullshit," said the shooter. Kane of course knew the man, Steve Marks, Stark's right hand man as well as his collector. But Kane listened as he heard Steve's foot steps, he was getting closer, but was trying to come around the long way around the tree, but Kane had came prepared. A 50. Revolver that had armor percicing bullets, but he had never used the gun before and didn't know of its tramendous kickback. Pulling the trigger when he saw the Steve clearly, the flash as been bliding in the night and Kane fell back, his slim figure was not adopt to handle an unexpected shock like that.

Getting back up after a moment, he looked at the body on the ground, the breath was shallow and loud, as he moaned in pain. Leaving the revolver on the ground, Kane crawled to the man's dying body. The bullet had entered threw his arm and broke on threw until it hit his lung, but Kane didn't care. Climbing on top of the man, he began to smash his fist mercilessly until Steve's breath stopped. Breathing hard, Kane became light-headed, he had never killed someone before and he had done it so easily but it was nessacery.

Kane had always been a religous man, he attended Church with his wife and kids until the divorce last year, then he began to lose grip pf his sanity and faith. Now he had killed a man,and he now heard sirens in the distance. The gun fire must of sent off alarm to the residents near by. Getting to his feet, he staggared at first but then he regained his compouser. Picking up his gun, Kane then turned to leave before a cell phone began to ring. Kane didn't own one anymore, it came from Steve's body. Bending over, Kane picked up the cell phone. Answering, he kept from answering first and let the caller have the first words. But the caller knew that he wasn't Steve.

"You have been tracked, you have five minutes until my men arrive and get you Mason," said the voice, which Kane knew all to well. Irish accent was beginning to fade, but it didn't take away from the dangerous aura the man producued. "Stark," Kane chocked up.

"I see you have no manners, do you Kane," Stark chimmed as he hung up the phone. In the distance lights were shinning, the police were inside the graveyard, Kane had little time to make his escape. Dropping the phone, he ran into the forest that was at the edge of the graveyard's properity. Sweat dripped profucily from his forehead as he ran and ran. His breath was becoming more shallow and his legs were soon going to give out. After twenty minutes into the dark woods, Kane fell, knocking his head on a rock. Blackness developted him as he heard a voice, a little girl's voice. "Look, its a new friend!"
This was a good read. I like the imagery and the flow of the story. Not many people can do both. This whole scene was intense. I couldn't stop myself from reading until the end. Keep it up.

At the beginning, I was a little confused as to who our focused character was: Tervor or Kane.
And, I felt this sentence was slightly awkward:

"Answering, he kept from answering first and let the caller have the first words."

I just want to point out that you do have some spelling errors, such as through, composure, and profusely, but that's nothing google or spellcheck can't fix.

Overall, you did a great job, and I would like to read more. smile
Smilin Madman
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