The Broken Bottle, Woild somebody Please read this?

[Rurouni-sama]

[Rurouni-sama]

Please pm me extended comments! And if anyone wants to edit spelling and things like which witch is which and which there is which, feel free, I'd appreciate it!

[Mystical Beauty]

that was kind of chilling ... freaky ... wierd

but all in all it kept me captivated. although very grossed out at points. I think that you are a very good writer, and that you should write .... a more .... happier story ....

[Rurouni-sama]

Mystical Beauty

that was kind of chilling ... freaky ... wierd

but all in all it kept me captivated. although very grossed out at points. I think that you are a very good writer, and that you should write .... a more .... happier story ....

Wow..thanks! Happy though... I have trouble with happy ideas...^_^

[Rurouni-sama]

wow...no one else?

[Rurouni-sama]

wow this is really discouraging... one comment...*sighs* wow no i'm depressed... I' going to have to start talking to my self... sweatdrop

[Rurouni-sama]

Wow, talking to myself is real fun! So Rurouni, how was your day?

Shut up! You know how it was!

Oh yeah... sweatdrop

[sorcerer_of_wings]

well, that was creepy. I liked it... but you really need to try and write something more... I do know... pleasant. for a wile there I was going to stop reading, it was so creepy. you've made it so griping, I didnt. still, that was really creepy.

[Celestra_Shadowbane]

I only got to the part where he decided to wait until he could kill himself with the blood. But I do have this to say:
Dude, You need therapy.

[Rurouni-sama]

wow...creepy...therapy... and i need to turn that in for an english class... MWAHAHAHAHA! But thanks for the comments...and again pleasant dosen't come easy to me...

[Celestra_Shadowbane]

I'll say...

[Rurouni-sama]

Celestra_Shadowbane

I'll say...

Well, the problem is that I have a pleasant life... Soo pleasant is boring to me... I did write this one story, there wasn't exactly death in it... But it wasn't pleasant.. It was the first story i ever finished... But I lost it crying .... i hate me...

[Mystical Beauty]

have you a more pleaseanter topic then?
Other then someone wanting to kill themselves??? which i didn't get. ... i dont really understand what he wanted to do? and the stomach thing almost made me sick to ...my stomach

[Kierohn]

I thought it was very good. Very intriuging.

[Kahrli]

Wow. I've never had a story give me much emotion like that...awesome.

Then again, I haven't read all that much specifically themed to cause those emotions.

The ending seemed a bit...weak, compared to the rest, and the amount of quotes at the very beginning was beginning to get annoying. I'd suggest not putting them, but the end has more than speech, so the quotes are almost needed to not differentiate the parts of it. Still, though, finding a better way to do that might be good, as I almost stopped reading because of it. Past the beginning, though, the story was captivating, trancelike. But that's the way it was meant to be, right?