Welcome to Gaia! :: Sunrise to Sunset Ch. 1 Constructive Criticism please

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Hey guys, this is a quick first chapter of a story I had an idea for recently. Any constructive criticism will be greatly appreciated.

Chapter 1
Vauro and Aisu stood on the edge of the town of Ballish, both only ten years of age, both with wooden swords poised at each other. Their hometown loomed in the distance, a few hundred yards down below the hill they stood atop. The ocean lay beyond even that, the end of which could not be seen. It was early morning and the mist still sat atop the grass, making the turf that much slicker.
“You ready to start this?” asked Vauro across the weapons to his best friend.
Aisu snickered, “I’m always ready.”
Vauro raised his sword and took a step forward, slashing down towards Aisu’s head. He promptly raised his weapon to a horizontal defense position, allowing Vauro’s sword to smack his which caused the percussion to ring out over the town below. They continued trading blows back and forth until they were absolutely winded, neither ever getting past the other’s defense.
Both kneeled down, using their swords to support them. “I think…I can see us getting better,” Aisu panted.
Vauro nodded his head in agreement. “Yeah…Kiisu’s work has been paying off.”
Kiisu Mamemura was Ballish’s best kept secret. He was an amazing swordsman who had worked as a bodyguard to the Emperor at one time. He had retired about fifteen years ago because of old age, to the dismay of every individual at the Imperial Palace. Kiisu was one of the greatest swordsmen in existence. To lose him was heartbreaking. However, now he resided in Ballish, far away from the capital city of Ollys, using his skills to teach the children of the town. Among those children were Vauro and Aisu, easily the two most talented and respected. Why shouldn’t they be? They were the only two out in the early hours of the morning training.
Vauro stood up after a moment’s rest, his short, black hair gleaming from the bit of sweat he had acquired and extended his hand to Aisu. “Ready to go again?”
Aisu clasped his hand pulled himself up. “Su-.”
“That’ll be enough for now,” a voice emerged from the mist a few yards away. Any other time, both of the boys would have readied their weapons but they knew that voice. It was the one that had mentored them for the past five years.
Kiisu’s image could be seen slowly walking towards them, his dark skin covered in a white, pleated, ankle-length skirt and jacket, much like the ones Vauro and Aisu wore. His frail body gave way to the belief that he was as weak as he looked, but in reality he was one of the quickest and most powerful people either of the boys had ever seen.
“I see you two are getting an early start,” remarked the old master.
Neither Vauro nor Aisu responded, they simply stood and nodded.
“I need you two to come with me,” Kiisu ordered.
Vauro and Aisu obliged and walked behind the old man, wondering what was so urgent. Kiisu was never a man of many words but he wasn’t a man who did a lot of ordering around, either. Many thoughts raced through the boys’ minds but neither could have any true idea as to what was so important.
They walked back down the large hill and into Ballish, the sun shining on Vauro‘s gold eyes and Aisu‘s blue ones, past the restaurants and blacksmiths that were just opening up. The smell of rice and various local meats being cooked emerged from the smokestacks in the restaurants and the tink-tink of the blacksmith’s hammers hitting the steel rang out through the streets.
After a few more minutes of walking, they emerged upon Kiisu’s house and dojo. It was a small abode, mainly only the training room, an area to cook, and a bedroom. After ushering them inside, Kiisu turned towards them and finally spoke.
“Vauro, Aisu, someone in this town is in danger. Someone has been targeted for assassination.”
The two boys furrowed their eyebrows in confusion but remained still and quiet.
“Early this morning, before the sun rose, two assassins emerged from the forest next to my house on their way to the town. Luckily, at the time, I was outside meditating and I noticed them.” He paused in thought,” But I have no idea where they were going. After I took them both out, neither would talk.” He paced around the room for a moment. “I want you two to know because you know how to defend the people here. These weren’t normal assassins, the militia may not be able to deal with them. With the training you two have received so far, I believe you can.”
Vauro swallowed, hard. Neither him nor Aisu had ever been up against anyone who had the intentions to kill them. Yet he knew they were of the best in Ballish and they had a duty to perform.
“We’ll make you proud,” he confidently said. Aisu nodded in agreement.
Kiisu smiled, “I know. You two are very talented.” He turned and disappeared into his bedroom, leaving Aisu and Vauro to wonder if it was okay to leave. However, he emerged a moment later carrying two long, slender packages wrapped in brown paper. He handed one to each of them.
“I’ve been training you two for a long time. And I’ll keep training you. But it’s time to step things up to something more realistic. Open those packages.”
Vauro and Aisu glanced at each other, clearly confused. They each tore into the paper, Vauro reaching the inside of his first. Inside was a navy blue sheath and upon tearing more paper, he noticed a black ray skin hilt of a katana. He looked over and Aisu’s was nearly the same, except red and black. It was that moment that both of the boys felt they could take a breath. The master had finally looked at them with so much pride and happiness that he had granted them their own weapons.
“I got one of my blacksmith friends in town to have them specially made for the two of you. You’re going to need more than those wooden swords to take on a real threat in this town.”
Vauro and Aisu both bowed, “Thank you, Kiisu. We’ll use them well.” Both boys had a wide smile on their faces, and as soon as they rose from their bow they ran to Kiisu and gave him a huge hug
“Haha, I know you will, now let’s go get some breakfast, I know you two haven’t had any yet.” He quickly added, smiling, “It’s on me.”
The group walked into the main area of town to one of their favorite restaurants, an open air one on a busy street, the two boys gleaming proudly with their new weapons sheathed at their sides. When they arrived, they ordered their normal meals and began eating, carrying on various conversations about training and other stories with their master. When they were about to leave, however, Kiisu stood and placed some money on the table.
“Alright, I have some work to do trying to figure out who has been targeted for assassination here. You two probably don’t need to worry about any fights until night but that doesn’t mean let your guard down.” He patted them both on the shoulders, “If you do notice any thing strange, don’t immediately jump to conclusions. Be mindful and keep your eyes open, but remember, we’re here to protect. Report to me if anything happens.” With that, he turned and stepped out of the open air restaurant, into the busy street, and disappeared.
Aisu and Vauro both stood. “Can you believe we’re actually here to do something like this?” Aisu asked Vauro.
“No, I’m still in a daze,” Vauro chuckled slightly, “But I’m glad he picked us to do it. It means a lot.”
Aisu nodded as they walked out of the restaurant. “So I guess this means we’re on guard duty from now on?”
Vauro laughed, “Yeah, I guess so. The real guards are going to be so confused.”
For the rest of the day, the two boys walked around town, talking and keeping an eye on anything and everything around them. They ate twice more and it wasn’t long before the sun began to fall below the horizon, signaling the time when being alert became a priority.
There wasn’t much of a moon in the sky, and not many people were out on the streets. “Hey Aisu, maybe we should circle the city, y’know, along the forest line. Isn’t that where Kiisu said he saw the first two guys?”
Aisu nodded, “Good idea.” At that, they sprinted off in direction of the forest and began following the road between the forest and the edge of town. About two hours passed and still nothing had happened. “I should have realized we wouldn’t be seeing any assassins on our first night, that’s like thinking you’ll be in a war the first day you join the army,” Aisu remarked.
“Yeah, but the night’s not over yet. We still have a few more hours.”
And at that moment, a dark figure emerged from the tree line about fifty yards ahead of them and sprinted across the road, followed by another.
Aisu grabbed Vauro’s jacket and pulled him towards the wall, pressing themselves against it. “That’s them,” he whispered urgently.
“I know, what should we do, attack them?”
Aisu thought for a moment, “No, let’s follow them and see who they’re going after, maybe we can find out.”
Vauro nodded and led the way. The two assassins had ran down a dark road, but they could see their figures in the distance, still sprinting. The two boys began sprinting after them, holding their swords to keep them quiet and keeping close to the walls in case one of the assassins turned around. After a moment of running, they turned another corner and emerged in the town’s square, where a large fountain stood. The assassins had paused, kneeled next to the large stone figure. The boys paused next to a building to the side of the square, near the corner they had just rounded. Both parties sat there a moment until the assassins stood up again, but this time they didn’t run. Instead, they stayed low to the ground and crouch-walked their way to the front door of a house. The lights inside the house were nonexistent, and neither Vauro nor Aisu had any idea who lived there.
“This is obviously where their target lives, what should we do?” asked Aisu urgently.
Vauro thought for a moment, aware of the assassin’s attempts to slide open the carbon paper door. Apparently whoever was there had been prepared and put some sort of stopper on the entryway. “We can let them get in there. If they get too antsy they’ll just slice the door open.” Both boys could see the short swords the two men carried.
“Let’s go then,” added Aisu. They both stepped out into the open and unsheathed their weapons.
“STOP,” yelled Vauro. The two assassins turned, startled, and then looked at each other. It seemed as if their first instinct was to run, but upon noticing that their adversaries were kids, they instead ran straight towards the two boys. Vauro and Aisu readied themselves as the assailants charged with their short swords ready.
The one going after Vauro swung first, his sword clanging down on Vauro’s defense. The two weapons scraped together as Vauro’s sword’s first battle began. Aisu’s attacker followed with the same affect. The first assassin swung at Vauro horizontally, who backed up and readied himself for he next attack. It came from the top again, and he blocked and quickly counterattacked. He heard a slight rip as the weapon cut the loose fabric of the assassin’s garb.
Aisu fought in much the same way, keeping his enemy from getting anywhere close. After a horizontal slash by the assassin, Aisu, kicked the man in the knee and swung down hard with a vertical slash. The assassin, who had dropped to his knee, blocked and rolled backwards away from harm.
By this time, Vauro was getting used to the man’s attack style and he noticed a weakness the man had. After every attack, he turned to swirl around for the next attack. That moment of blindness would be his downfall. It was a short time, however, so Vauro knew he’d have to be quick. The next attack came from below. Vauro stepped back away from and without hesitation stepped back into the man’s guard. But he was already almost done with his spin and was coming down with a diagonal slash from above aimed directly into Vauro’s shoulder. However, Vauro’s katana was on a path of its own, directly up into the arm that held the weapon. The katana cleaved straight through, allowing the weapon and arm to go flying off in the direction that it had been traveling while it was still attached. The assassin fell to the ground and screamed in pain, but Vauro turned and dropped his katana straight into the man’s heart. He promptly shut up.
Aisu had also gained the upper hand on his opponent. His kick to the knee had apparently handicapped the man who was now backing away, only guarding to save his life. It wasn’t long before Aisu brought his weapon down as hard as possible and, though it hit the assassin’s block, the force pushed his arms down and allowed Aisu’s weapon to slice clean into his skull. He dropped down on the ground, dead.
The boys stood for a moment, exalted yet befuddled. They then looked at each other, smiled, and clasped each others hands in victory.
“Nice,” Vauro said with a smile. “That was great.”
“Yes it was,” huffed Aisu. “What a team.”
“Let’s head back to Kiisu,” said Vauro as he flung the blood from his sword before sheathing it. Aisu nodded in agreement and did the same as they began walking.
It didn’t take long to arrive at Kiisu’s house. The light inside was on, which may have indicated why the assassins hadn’t come that way. The boys burst inside, smiling. Kiisu stood there, holding a book, from which he looked up and nodded. “I heard the scream from here.”
“Yeah, that was my guy,” Vauro added proudly.
“And I cut my guy’s skull,” Aisu smiled widely.
“I still haven’t found out who they’re after,” Kiisu said.
“Well, we saw what house those guys were trying to break in to if that helps,” Aisu remarked. “It was the one in the corner of the square closest to this side of it.”
Kiisu furrowed his brows in thought. “I don’t recall who lives there. I’m not sure if I’ve ever really seen anyone come and go from there.”
“That’s what we said,” Vauro noted.
“Well, either way, I’m not even sure we’re going to have to worry any more. I can’t see any leader sending his men in more than twice to just keep dying. Assassin's come few and far between. Either way, keep an eye out, but I don’t think we have anything to watch for now. If we do, I’ll take care of it. Now go get some sleep.”
The two boys nodded and set off back to their homes, ready to get an early start the next morning.
 
     
 
Quote:
Vauro and Aisu stood on the edge of the town of Ballish, both only ten years of age, both with wooden swords poised at each other


I would say: 10 year old Vauro and Aisu stood on the edge of the town of Ballish, wooden swords poised at each others chest. (or any body part)
     
Yeah, there are definitely quite a few things I need to go through and check as far as better functionality and readability and a lot more descriptions to do. Thank you mucho tho biggrin