Something that might leave you a little...breathless.

[RedVeil]

Winter hath fallen harsh upon thy lips...for thou speaketh no longer.. The snow hath smitten thy heart...for it no longer beats..not even in the most immersed chambers of thy body.... No, not even blood floweth in thy frozen veins, nor doth thy chest rise with air... No shimmering frost drips from thy pale, azure lips... Thou art dead to me, my dear.. My beloved December....

[LadySnark]

I really love the way this flows right off the tongue as if it is a fluid line, however, not a fan of the last line. I think it is more powerful to think it is about a dead lover, rather than the month. I feel the ending takes away from the power of the previous lines.

[babababunny]

sorry

[[hachiro]]

a few questions you might want to ask yourself:
- is there a reason you chose archaic diction?
- similarly, is there a point to the repetition of ellipses as punctuation? while one use of ellipses can be meaningful, using them so often is just confusing for the reader.
- are you going to expand on this? if not, consider breaking lines and making it a poem

[LaceyDemorte]

The archaic language isn't doing it for me, sorry. You mix too much modern language with archaic. If you're going to write archaic, you need to go all the way. Read lots of poetry from the time period, dissect it, and understand it.
If you're not up for doing that, you shouldn't be writing in an archaic voice.

The ellipses are also bothering me. If you want to avoid classic poem formatting, that's fine (and great!), but ellipses aren't the way to go. Try researching "concrete poetry". Concrete poetry is where the format of the poem reflects the theme.
For example, this poem about airplanes is in the shape of airplanes:

The metaphor of December as a lover also isn't quite working, in my opinion. Personally, I think I would avoid even mentioning December. It only distracts from the purpose of the poem. If you use enough visual language, the metaphor should be clear enough on it's own.
I'm also unclear on whether or not the lover is actually dead or not. This could be an effective trick, but it's because of one line and I don't think it was intentional: "Thou art dead to me". Before this line, it sounds as though the lover is physically dead. But "dead to me" implies that you no longer care about the person.

I think with some editing, this poem could be really lovely. It just needs a bit of tender loving care and some rewriting.