Rate the start of my story? Pwetty pwease? XD

[Shadow Delight]

So ... yesterday I posted a link to my story. (First few pages, mind) and I got some feedback. I HOPE I edited it okay, and I am looking for your opinions now!

My main concern is the actual plotline. I don't think there is much typos ... well, I hope there isn;t anyway lol.
I appreciate if you'd read it and tell me what you think, once more biggrin
I want to know if you guys think it is interesting enough for me to continue because, this story has been on my mind for a while now.
I started it a long time ago and came across lately so was wondering what you think ...

Anyways, enough of my rambling. Do you think you could tell me what you think and ... to make things easier, give me a rating out of 10? Thanks a munch bunch biggrin

A Cry from the Dark

[Saffron Bunny]

I noticed an issue between the king and his daughter. If he forbade her from leaving, how exactly is she skipping out of the castle in broad daylight? It also seems strange Stroan doesn't want Antilla to have a boyfriend. Wouldn't he want the royal lineage to continue down through the generations?

On the second page, you misspelled "village", by the way. I thought you might want to know.

I like it so far. I don't understand why you would want us to rate your story by numbers, however. Wouldn't that be an awful thing to do towards something you've written? I wouldn't even know how to rate a story on a number line. You've done a good job with the writing, other than the few plot errors. Don't reduce your story to a number, or let anyone do that to you.

[Shadow Delight]

Saffron Bunny

I noticed an issue between the king and his daughter. If he forbade her from leaving, how exactly is she skipping out of the castle in broad daylight? It also seems strange Stroan doesn't want Antilla to have a boyfriend. Wouldn't he want the royal lineage to continue down through the generations?

On the second page, you misspelled "village", by the way. I thought you might want to know.

I like it so far. I don't understand why you would want us to rate your story by numbers, however. Wouldn't that be an awful thing to do towards something you've written? I wouldn't even know how to rate a story on a number line. You've done a good job with the writing, other than the few plot errors. Don't reduce your story to a number, or let anyone do that to you.

First of all, thank you sooooo much for taking the time to read it and for posting your opinion!

Second, I thought I made it clear (though I'll check again, 'cause obviously I didn't biggrin ) that she had managed to persuade her father to let her out.
And as to your point about her to have a boyfriend, I see your point smile I never thought of that so thank you for pointing that out. I'll do my best to work something out.

Thirdly, You have a point about rating the story, it's just I get very anxious when it comes to my writing. It means so much to me and I just want everyone to like what I write so I was wondering how much people liked/disliked what I wrote. It means everything to hear you say that you liked it so far so THANK YOU!! 4laugh

[Saffron Bunny]

Shadow Delight

Saffron Bunny

I noticed an issue between the king and his daughter. If he forbade her from leaving, how exactly is she skipping out of the castle in broad daylight? It also seems strange Stroan doesn't want Antilla to have a boyfriend. Wouldn't he want the royal lineage to continue down through the generations?

On the second page, you misspelled "village", by the way. I thought you might want to know.

I like it so far. I don't understand why you would want us to rate your story by numbers, however. Wouldn't that be an awful thing to do towards something you've written? I wouldn't even know how to rate a story on a number line. You've done a good job with the writing, other than the few plot errors. Don't reduce your story to a number, or let anyone do that to you.

First of all, thank you sooooo much for taking the time to read it and for posting your opinion!

Second, I thought I made it clear (though I'll check again, 'cause obviously I didn't biggrin ) that she had managed to persuade her father to let her out.
And as to your point about her to have a boyfriend, I see your point smile I never thought of that so thank you for pointing that out. I'll do my best to work something out.

Thirdly, You have a point about rating the story, it's just I get very anxious when it comes to my writing. It means so much to me and I just want everyone to like what I write so I was wondering how much people liked/disliked what I wrote. It means everything to hear you say that you liked it so far so THANK YOU!! 4laugh

Anytime! emotion_bigheart

DX Oops, sorry, I apparently did miss that! X_X Sorry! No need to fix it.

Hey, sometimes that's why you need other people to read your story. Other people might be able to think of things you might not have. Don't worry!

That's understandable. I get anxiety over my stories as well, so I can relate. I'm glad I could help, although I am really sorry for missing that part. X_X

You bet! Will you be posting more of it?

[Shadow Delight]

Saffron Bunny

Shadow Delight

Saffron Bunny

I noticed an issue between the king and his daughter. If he forbade her from leaving, how exactly is she skipping out of the castle in broad daylight? It also seems strange Stroan doesn't want Antilla to have a boyfriend. Wouldn't he want the royal lineage to continue down through the generations?

On the second page, you misspelled "village", by the way. I thought you might want to know.

I like it so far. I don't understand why you would want us to rate your story by numbers, however. Wouldn't that be an awful thing to do towards something you've written? I wouldn't even know how to rate a story on a number line. You've done a good job with the writing, other than the few plot errors. Don't reduce your story to a number, or let anyone do that to you.

First of all, thank you sooooo much for taking the time to read it and for posting your opinion!

Second, I thought I made it clear (though I'll check again, 'cause obviously I didn't biggrin ) that she had managed to persuade her father to let her out.
And as to your point about her to have a boyfriend, I see your point smile I never thought of that so thank you for pointing that out. I'll do my best to work something out.

Thirdly, You have a point about rating the story, it's just I get very anxious when it comes to my writing. It means so much to me and I just want everyone to like what I write so I was wondering how much people liked/disliked what I wrote. It means everything to hear you say that you liked it so far so THANK YOU!! 4laugh

Anytime! emotion_bigheart

DX Oops, sorry, I apparently did miss that! X_X Sorry! No need to fix it.

Hey, sometimes that's why you need other people to read your story. Other people might be able to think of things you might not have. Don't worry!

That's understandable. I get anxiety over my stories as well, so I can relate. I'm glad I could help, although I am really sorry for missing that part. X_X

You bet! Will you be posting more of it?

I guess you're right smile
Yeah, I should. Would you be a fan? lol mrgreen
I am hoping to post more up at least once a week but I am quite busy at the moment ... I hope I will though!! XD heart

[Saffron Bunny]

Shadow Delight

Saffron Bunny

Shadow Delight

Saffron Bunny

I noticed an issue between the king and his daughter. If he forbade her from leaving, how exactly is she skipping out of the castle in broad daylight? It also seems strange Stroan doesn't want Antilla to have a boyfriend. Wouldn't he want the royal lineage to continue down through the generations?

On the second page, you misspelled "village", by the way. I thought you might want to know.

I like it so far. I don't understand why you would want us to rate your story by numbers, however. Wouldn't that be an awful thing to do towards something you've written? I wouldn't even know how to rate a story on a number line. You've done a good job with the writing, other than the few plot errors. Don't reduce your story to a number, or let anyone do that to you.

First of all, thank you sooooo much for taking the time to read it and for posting your opinion!

Second, I thought I made it clear (though I'll check again, 'cause obviously I didn't biggrin ) that she had managed to persuade her father to let her out.
And as to your point about her to have a boyfriend, I see your point smile I never thought of that so thank you for pointing that out. I'll do my best to work something out.

Thirdly, You have a point about rating the story, it's just I get very anxious when it comes to my writing. It means so much to me and I just want everyone to like what I write so I was wondering how much people liked/disliked what I wrote. It means everything to hear you say that you liked it so far so THANK YOU!! 4laugh

Anytime! emotion_bigheart

DX Oops, sorry, I apparently did miss that! X_X Sorry! No need to fix it.

Hey, sometimes that's why you need other people to read your story. Other people might be able to think of things you might not have. Don't worry!

That's understandable. I get anxiety over my stories as well, so I can relate. I'm glad I could help, although I am really sorry for missing that part. X_X

You bet! Will you be posting more of it?

I guess you're right smile
Yeah, I should. Would you be a fan? lol mrgreen
I am hoping to post more up at least once a week but I am quite busy at the moment ... I hope I will though!! XD heart

^~^
Definitely!
It's understandable. Write when you've got time; no rush. 4laugh

Captcha: nice job

I kid you not.

[Shadow Delight]

Saffron Bunny

Shadow Delight

Saffron Bunny

Shadow Delight

Saffron Bunny

I noticed an issue between the king and his daughter. If he forbade her from leaving, how exactly is she skipping out of the castle in broad daylight? It also seems strange Stroan doesn't want Antilla to have a boyfriend. Wouldn't he want the royal lineage to continue down through the generations?

On the second page, you misspelled "village", by the way. I thought you might want to know.

I like it so far. I don't understand why you would want us to rate your story by numbers, however. Wouldn't that be an awful thing to do towards something you've written? I wouldn't even know how to rate a story on a number line. You've done a good job with the writing, other than the few plot errors. Don't reduce your story to a number, or let anyone do that to you.

First of all, thank you sooooo much for taking the time to read it and for posting your opinion!

Second, I thought I made it clear (though I'll check again, 'cause obviously I didn't biggrin ) that she had managed to persuade her father to let her out.
And as to your point about her to have a boyfriend, I see your point smile I never thought of that so thank you for pointing that out. I'll do my best to work something out.

Thirdly, You have a point about rating the story, it's just I get very anxious when it comes to my writing. It means so much to me and I just want everyone to like what I write so I was wondering how much people liked/disliked what I wrote. It means everything to hear you say that you liked it so far so THANK YOU!! 4laugh

Anytime! emotion_bigheart

DX Oops, sorry, I apparently did miss that! X_X Sorry! No need to fix it.

Hey, sometimes that's why you need other people to read your story. Other people might be able to think of things you might not have. Don't worry!

That's understandable. I get anxiety over my stories as well, so I can relate. I'm glad I could help, although I am really sorry for missing that part. X_X

You bet! Will you be posting more of it?

I guess you're right smile
Yeah, I should. Would you be a fan? lol mrgreen
I am hoping to post more up at least once a week but I am quite busy at the moment ... I hope I will though!! XD heart

^~^
Definitely!
It's understandable. Write when you've got time; no rush. 4laugh

Captcha: nice job

I kid you not.

Thanks! You're the bestest XD

[Saffron Bunny]

Shadow Delight

Saffron Bunny

Shadow Delight

Saffron Bunny

Shadow Delight

Saffron Bunny

I noticed an issue between the king and his daughter. If he forbade her from leaving, how exactly is she skipping out of the castle in broad daylight? It also seems strange Stroan doesn't want Antilla to have a boyfriend. Wouldn't he want the royal lineage to continue down through the generations?

On the second page, you misspelled "village", by the way. I thought you might want to know.

I like it so far. I don't understand why you would want us to rate your story by numbers, however. Wouldn't that be an awful thing to do towards something you've written? I wouldn't even know how to rate a story on a number line. You've done a good job with the writing, other than the few plot errors. Don't reduce your story to a number, or let anyone do that to you.

First of all, thank you sooooo much for taking the time to read it and for posting your opinion!

Second, I thought I made it clear (though I'll check again, 'cause obviously I didn't biggrin ) that she had managed to persuade her father to let her out.
And as to your point about her to have a boyfriend, I see your point smile I never thought of that so thank you for pointing that out. I'll do my best to work something out.

Thirdly, You have a point about rating the story, it's just I get very anxious when it comes to my writing. It means so much to me and I just want everyone to like what I write so I was wondering how much people liked/disliked what I wrote. It means everything to hear you say that you liked it so far so THANK YOU!! 4laugh

Anytime! emotion_bigheart

DX Oops, sorry, I apparently did miss that! X_X Sorry! No need to fix it.

Hey, sometimes that's why you need other people to read your story. Other people might be able to think of things you might not have. Don't worry!

That's understandable. I get anxiety over my stories as well, so I can relate. I'm glad I could help, although I am really sorry for missing that part. X_X

You bet! Will you be posting more of it?

I guess you're right smile
Yeah, I should. Would you be a fan? lol mrgreen
I am hoping to post more up at least once a week but I am quite busy at the moment ... I hope I will though!! XD heart

^~^
Definitely!
It's understandable. Write when you've got time; no rush. 4laugh

Captcha: nice job

I kid you not.

Thanks! You're the bestest XD

emotion_bigheart