DarkSage
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- Posted: Thu, 24 Feb 2005 19:22:18 +0000
This is the beggining to my story that I just recently dug up from my piles of work. I would very much appreciat some insight on how well it holds up and if it intruiges you. Please be truthfull and if need be harsh. Im all ears.
Prologue
Lightning shot threw the crimson sky as thunder bombarded the heavens and shook the earth so hard shivers ran up the spines of the Hume soldiers as they struggled for their footing and sense of direction. His dust-choked systems were starting to malfunction. Every grain of sand that had penetrated his armor began to rub and grind his internal mechanisms. His internal cautioning systems were flashing in the limits of the critical stage, the probabilities kept dropping at an alarming rate and were soon far passed the positive percentages. The protective armor, at this point abused by it's previous encounters, was no longer effective and keeping it on would only slow him down, but he was too busy to bother with that now. He could hear the sounds of his allied troops screaming behind him getting fainter but he didn't care, he no longer cared for anything, not the mission not his commander not his friends not his life. All that mattered was her. He held on as tightly as he could as they ran threw the battle scared wasteland that at this point had become a sickening cemetery of scorched flesh and warped chunks of steel. "Unngghh... Sage! I'm slipping!" Sage tightened his grip without looking back and tried to keep his momentum going. The field was now ablaze with both enemy and friendly fire, but Sage knew that at this point all type of return fire was anything but friendly, a bullet stopped for no one and one mistake out here would get them killed very quickly. They kept running threw the trenches occasionally surfacing out into the hailstorm of bullets and plasma quickly jumping into the next trench only to be taunted by the grenades and rockets that landed in the trenches. He looked back and saw the petrified and tired expression on her face as she struggled to keep up with his pace almost tripping on half remaining bodies of repliods and losing her footing on the gut's of other humans. An Ion-grenade landed in his path and dug itself in the ground. He tried his best to quickly shield themselves but the explosion knocked him back. He feebly pushed himself up hearing the apparent screams of his human comrades smoldering due to the intense radiation of explosion. Although he couldn't see them he could tell they were burning alive, the radiation eating away at their flesh, they still fought in anyway they could with there lost cause. In the massive jumble of screams and explosions he was able to point out a faint one nearby it was just then he realized he was no longer with her. He quickly stood up franticly looking around to see were the sound was emanating from. Just then the screams came all to clear and he ran towards the end of a chasm that had opened up due to the explosion. At first sight she franticly tried to get his attention. "Sage!!... Help me!!!..." She was hanging by an arm on a small ridge, Sage dropped to his knees and put out his hand to try and reach her. "Give me your hand!!" She looked down at what seamed to be a bottomless pit then at him in a petrified state and didn't say a word. "GIVE-ME-YOUR-HAND!!!" he stressed once more almost in a panicked state as he saw her start to slip of the ledge she was so desperately holding on too. "COME ON!!" he stressed. "I cant!" "JUST DO IT!!!" She slowly progressed to lean her hand over to reach Sage. "Sage I'm slipping!" She said in a tired state drained of all her strength and running on the last of her reserves. "Just keep going, I've almost got you.... Huh?!?" That feeling, Sage knew it all to well. It was swelling up inside of him, his anger his hate he could feel it at the pit of his stomach. Sage froze he knew what was coming but from where? "Nooo..." He looked up still reaching out and there he was, the dark shadow that had tormented him this whole time. His imposing figure struck fear into what would seam to be his soul. It stood there emotionless and cold. "Got you!!" Sage looked down as she had managed to grab on to his arm while he was distracted. However his face was not of rejoice but it installed a sense of fear and despair that would make any man cower. "Sage...?" Just then there was a flash. The grasp that was worked so hard for, lost. Sage's world screamed at him to respond, but at the same it all flew into slow motion. He watched himself painfully try to reach her in this painfully loud but mute state of being but it was too late she was already out of reach and he could do nothing but watch and keep on reaching as she spiraled down into the giant cavity. He kept on reaching hoping he could still reach her if he tried as his world jumped back to the present. "NOOOO!!!!......."
Prologue
Lightning shot threw the crimson sky as thunder bombarded the heavens and shook the earth so hard shivers ran up the spines of the Hume soldiers as they struggled for their footing and sense of direction. His dust-choked systems were starting to malfunction. Every grain of sand that had penetrated his armor began to rub and grind his internal mechanisms. His internal cautioning systems were flashing in the limits of the critical stage, the probabilities kept dropping at an alarming rate and were soon far passed the positive percentages. The protective armor, at this point abused by it's previous encounters, was no longer effective and keeping it on would only slow him down, but he was too busy to bother with that now. He could hear the sounds of his allied troops screaming behind him getting fainter but he didn't care, he no longer cared for anything, not the mission not his commander not his friends not his life. All that mattered was her. He held on as tightly as he could as they ran threw the battle scared wasteland that at this point had become a sickening cemetery of scorched flesh and warped chunks of steel. "Unngghh... Sage! I'm slipping!" Sage tightened his grip without looking back and tried to keep his momentum going. The field was now ablaze with both enemy and friendly fire, but Sage knew that at this point all type of return fire was anything but friendly, a bullet stopped for no one and one mistake out here would get them killed very quickly. They kept running threw the trenches occasionally surfacing out into the hailstorm of bullets and plasma quickly jumping into the next trench only to be taunted by the grenades and rockets that landed in the trenches. He looked back and saw the petrified and tired expression on her face as she struggled to keep up with his pace almost tripping on half remaining bodies of repliods and losing her footing on the gut's of other humans. An Ion-grenade landed in his path and dug itself in the ground. He tried his best to quickly shield themselves but the explosion knocked him back. He feebly pushed himself up hearing the apparent screams of his human comrades smoldering due to the intense radiation of explosion. Although he couldn't see them he could tell they were burning alive, the radiation eating away at their flesh, they still fought in anyway they could with there lost cause. In the massive jumble of screams and explosions he was able to point out a faint one nearby it was just then he realized he was no longer with her. He quickly stood up franticly looking around to see were the sound was emanating from. Just then the screams came all to clear and he ran towards the end of a chasm that had opened up due to the explosion. At first sight she franticly tried to get his attention. "Sage!!... Help me!!!..." She was hanging by an arm on a small ridge, Sage dropped to his knees and put out his hand to try and reach her. "Give me your hand!!" She looked down at what seamed to be a bottomless pit then at him in a petrified state and didn't say a word. "GIVE-ME-YOUR-HAND!!!" he stressed once more almost in a panicked state as he saw her start to slip of the ledge she was so desperately holding on too. "COME ON!!" he stressed. "I cant!" "JUST DO IT!!!" She slowly progressed to lean her hand over to reach Sage. "Sage I'm slipping!" She said in a tired state drained of all her strength and running on the last of her reserves. "Just keep going, I've almost got you.... Huh?!?" That feeling, Sage knew it all to well. It was swelling up inside of him, his anger his hate he could feel it at the pit of his stomach. Sage froze he knew what was coming but from where? "Nooo..." He looked up still reaching out and there he was, the dark shadow that had tormented him this whole time. His imposing figure struck fear into what would seam to be his soul. It stood there emotionless and cold. "Got you!!" Sage looked down as she had managed to grab on to his arm while he was distracted. However his face was not of rejoice but it installed a sense of fear and despair that would make any man cower. "Sage...?" Just then there was a flash. The grasp that was worked so hard for, lost. Sage's world screamed at him to respond, but at the same it all flew into slow motion. He watched himself painfully try to reach her in this painfully loud but mute state of being but it was too late she was already out of reach and he could do nothing but watch and keep on reaching as she spiraled down into the giant cavity. He kept on reaching hoping he could still reach her if he tried as his world jumped back to the present. "NOOOO!!!!......."
