Need feedback on a story I wrote

[Suntail Wolf]

So I posted a story I wrote in my journal, posted publicly. It's a test to see how well I am as a writer, if I have what it takes possibly become a novelist. Yes, I understand the short story I wrote is nothing compared to a novel, but again, it's merely a test.

What I need is honest feedback. Be brutally honest with me on it. The doesn't mean to give me only negative feedback on it, positive feedback is also a necessary component, but I welcome any feedback, I know I need it.

I'm not the greatest writer ever, nor do I claim to be, but I'm looking to improve and possibly finally write my own original stories for entertainment. Check out my journal. Story is posted in 3 parts. Thanks!

[LadySnark]

Well...here is the thing.

If you plan on being an author, you need your own original ideas. If you are going to post a short as a test run for a novel, I think running with original ideas are essential.

What you've written is considered a fanfiction and isn't taken seriously in the writing world, regardless of skill or talent. Though I will admit I didn't read past realizing it was a fanfiction so I can't comment on skill or talent.