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Come ON!!!!!!! NEW CHAPTER!!
Sorry, sorry, sorry for making you guys wait. I've been busy with school, work and having some laptop problems but it's okay now. I'll try and update soon probably in two weeks. Hope everyone's been well.

Interesting Explorer

Green Tea Chi
Sorry, sorry, sorry for making you guys wait. I've been busy with school, work and having some laptop problems but it's okay now. I'll try and update soon probably in two weeks. Hope everyone's been well.


I'm well. Ah, I understand. I was just afraid you won't be writing the story anymore. Well, I'll be waiting patiently for your next update. Don't be stressed.
Kay, so sorry for taking so long but I'll try and make it up to you guys. Enjoy.
Chapter Twenty-Nine: In The Room
Shawn held her hands in his and whispered something in her ear. Emily’s face was at first shocked and than lighted up. She was smiling and turned to Shawn whose face was inches from her. God, does no one see that I’m here? I was still on the couch like right there in front of them. Why am I even watching still? “Uh….you guys?”

But than Shawn kissed her, their eyes with both closed, still holding hands. Yeah that’s it. Let me just go to some other room. I got up and quickly got the hell out. I looked behind me and they still didn’t noticed yet. Yeah you guys keep doing that while I explore. I turned away and started going up the stairs.

“Oh crap, my parents are back!” I suddenly heard Shawn yell. Oh great, down stairs I go again. As I walked down, Emily walked to me. She looked so happy, smiling so wide and stuff. What love does to people. She than hugged me, giggling. Oh great, I bet Emily’s going to talk about this all night than. I could hear the door opening and some footsteps.

“Maria, you should have been there. Shawn said he liked me and kissed me!” Emily softly said as she let go. I smiled and just shook my head no. I guess they really did forget I was like right there. “It was so awesome, I can’t believe it!” Emily continued as she started to laugh happily. So happy, so lovey dovey... go figure.

“Uh Emily, I was there….and I walked out.” I said as Shawn’s mom and dad came in the room. Emily quickly turned to me with a shook look. Heh. I smiled and turned to Shawn’s mom and dad. “Hi, I’m Maria.” I said as I stood in front of them. Emily walked beside me and said hi too. I guess they already met… no surprise.

“Well it’s nice to meet you Maria and hello again Emily.” Shawn’s mom said as she passed us to go up stairs. Shawn's dad just looked at us and smiled. Probably thinking about Shawn being a player with two girls in the house. I smiled and walked past Shawn’s dad, Emily followed as we walked in to the living where Shawn was at.

He was smiling probably at Emily, not me. “Since my parents are here, how about we go to Emily’s place?” Shawn asked us. I turned to Emily to see what she was going to say but she was looking at me, waiting for me I guess. Oh, maybe Shawn was asking me. “Your parents must be gone by now, right Emily?”

“Yeah, I think they should be gone. Mom was talking about having dinner with dad and that I could cook dinner with Maria since she’s staying over tonight.” Emily replied as Shawn walked over to the door. “So want to go to my house now?” Emily asked as I shrugged and walked over to the door with Shawn.

“Sure, I guess.” I replied as Emily walked over too. As we walked out of the door Shawn said behind him. “I’m going to Emily’s house. I’ll be back in an hour or two.” Than he closed the door. “You aren’t tired or anything right Maria?” Shawn added as Emily and I were walking to the sidewalk. God

“Shawn stop asking me that. I was only in the hospital cause I passed out, relax.” I said as we walked down the sidewalk. Shawn stopped walking and just looked at me. But I kept walking. Oh yeah I forgot to tell him about my….bruises. Maybe Emily didn’t tell him. “And no it’s not how I got these things on my arm.” I added as Emily quickly followed to me.

“Oh, okay.” Shawn said as he followed me too. I guess he didn’t want to ask me about them. “You know Maria… since we are friends….you can talk to us about anything.” Shawn added as I turned to him. He was looking down at the street. I turned to Emily. She was smiling and nodded.

Oh great… I just remembered I have to tell them I’m moving. I looked down at the sidewalk and sighed. “I got to tell you guys something….” I slowly looked up at them and stopped. Emily stopped and just smiled at me. Shawn turned around and waited for the rest. “I… I’m not…. I’m moving someplace else. I don’t know where yet but I know it’s somewhere far away. I’m leaving tomorrow night.” Kay I said it, finally but….

Emily was just staring in shock. “Is that why Anaya wanted me to have a sleepover with you? Wow Maria… why do you have to move?” Emily asked as she walked closer to me and held my hands. “Do you really hate this place that much?” No, no it’s not that.

I looked at the sidewalk and looked down. “Yeah, why Maria? Shawn asked me as he walked to my side. “Why didn’t you tell us sooner?” I didn’t think it would be this hard. I let go of Emily’s hands and stepped back a few. I looked down and blinked back some tears. It’s like they think I want to leave… but.

“It’s not what you think. I don’t hate this place… and I…” I was about to say more but looked up. Maybe they would never understand or never understood me. I do want to say here. “Anaya thinks it’s best if I move away from this place.” I added as Emily and Shawn looked at each other.

“I guess you really do have to go.” Emily said as she smiled at me. “Let’s make your last days here good than. I’m really glad you are here with us right now Maria.” Emily added as she walked towards me and hugged me. I looked at her surprised and than looked at Shawn. Maybe they would miss me….

“Gosh Maria, I wished you didn’t have to leave so soon.” Shawn said as he walked over too. Emily smiled at him and than at me. Yeah… I wished I didn’t have to go too. I smiled at them and Emily let go. Shawn looked at the sky and smiled. “It’s getting dark we should hurry to Emily’s house.” Oh yeah… we should.

“Yeah we better go than.” I said as I started to walk. Suddenly Emily put joined her arm to my left arm and Shawn got his arm around my right arm. What? I turned to Emily and Shawn in shook. They both were smiling at me. I really wish now that I could have hanged out with them longer. I smiled to both of them and held their arms tight. “Ready?”


Another chapter!
Chapter Thirty: Chit Chat
“Let’s go.” Emily said as we all started walking. “What do you want to eat, Maria?” Emily asked as we walked past our school. I guess this will be the last time I’ll see that school for a while. “Me and Shawn can make you something really good if you don’t know what to eat.” Emily added as she nodded at Shawn. He was nodding too.

“Yeah I guess you can make whatever you guys want. I’m fine with almost everything.” I replied as we were near the streets that we had to walk over to get to her house. “What are you guys going to cook anyway?” I asked as I looked at the cars passing us with the drivers turning their heads at us. What the hell? You guys don’t have anything better to do but look at people walk or something?

Emily noticed too and said, “It’s okay Maria, it’s not like we stop them from looking out their window.” I grinned. Maybe with my middle finger, sure they might stop. “Hmm, I think I’ll cook some chicken with rice. What are you going to cook?” Hmm sounds good I guess but than again all this walking is making me kind of hungry.

“I’m going to cook some… uh... maybe some cake or brownie.” Shawn said unsure. “Depends on what Emily has at her house.” He added as I looked back. Maybe I should walk to the house… to see if Anaya is there. But than noticed that Shawn and Emily were walking slowly, I quickly turned back and push them to walk faster. I can’t, if I do than

“Yeah… it’s kind of hard isn’t? That you are going to soon leave this place.” Emily asked as we walked to the end of the street sidewalk. I laughed a little bit and let go of their arms because we had to go across the street. I shook my head. Yeah right, I’m glad to get away from that school but… hmm I wonder if Mrs. Baker knows I’m leaving. Probably glad that I am.

“I never liked that school so… I guess I’m kind of glad but than again I’ll probably hate my other school too and meeting more dickheads.” I said as Emily and Shawn were looking both ways of the street. Suddenly they laughed and turned to me. Oh, I guess it was funny to them.

“Oh, it’s clear... let’s go.” Emily said as she turned to the street. We all walked to the other side of the street. Emily looked at me, than Shawn and smiled when we got to the sidewalk. “It’s too bad Shawn can’t stay long at my house so we better hurry so he wouldn’t have to walk too late.” Oh… yeah.

Shawn started to walk to the direction of her house and said, “Well yeah I guess we better.” Emily looked at me and than we both walked behind him. Oh so he’s going to walk back his house. Make sense now why they keep rushing. “I never had been in Emily’s house this late… so…”

“No sweat Shawn besides… you can visit in the morning... around twelve before I leave and go visit….someone.” I said as I looked at the cars passing by. I don’t know if it’s Ryan or… mom or just to hang out with Anaya. I looked at them again, Shawn was nodding and Emily was kind of smiling.

“So you are only going to stay till twelve… okay.” Emily said as we crossed into a neighborhood. I nodded. I made up my mind; I can’t stay with her for that long. I got people to see. “So did you already see Ryan? He wasn’t at school today.” Emily asked. What? He wasn’t at school.

“No I didn’t see him today…” I said as I looked at Emily and Shawn. Wonder why? I looked at the trees and leaves we were pasting. Was he looking for me or something? Or did that a*****e father of his did something? “So uh… does he still sit… where he usually sits?” I asked looking at the street again. Out of curiosity.

“Oh I forgot to tell you. Me and Shawn saw Ryan in the hospital today too while me and Shawn were giving Anaya some flowers. We suddenly saw Ryan walking down the hall out of air. I guess he was running and he had some pretty really pretty pink flowers.” Emily said as we could see her house. Oh… yeah he did get me some.

“Yeah and than some man walked behind him too I think his dad. Ryan looked angry at him though.” Shawn added as we walked a little faster. Great he came and visited me. “I think it was his dad. He asked if you were okay and than asked what happened but than Ryan started to yell at him saying it was none of his business and stuff.” Wow. I smiled.

“Yeah so than his dad gave Anaya his flowers and walked away after Anaya said you were okay, just sleeping. As the guy was walking away, Ryan gave Anaya his flowers and asked for his dad’s flowers.” Emily said as we were really close. Heh.

“Yeah Ryan put something in his flowers… I don’t know what it was but. And gave it back to Anaya and apologized for yelling. And turned to me and Emily. He asked why we were here.” Shawn continued as we were walking on the front side walk of it. I laughed a little bit. That must’ve been the lighter.

“We told him that we were here to give Anaya some flowers for you. Oh and forgot to tell you that Anaya was the one that called us and told us you were in the hospital and we decided to give you some flowers. I guess Anaya must have called him too.” Emily explained as we were walking on the sidewalk. Oh

“So than we said we had to go to school or we would be more late since my mom was waiting for us in the car. I asked if he wanted a ride but said no though. So he walked with me and Emily we were talking about how we go to the same school and had the class with Mrs. Baker.” Shawn said as Emily unlocked the door.

“Yeah we were going to ask him how he knew you and stuff but he kept switching the subject. Than as we were outside, Shawn asked him if he was sure he didn’t want the ride but he said no and pointed to a bike. He said bye and walked to this bike and rode away.” Emily said as we were in her living room. Wow, this stuff still smells really strong.

“Oh, Emily home so soon?” Her mom suddenly said as she walked over to us. “Sorry sweetie but me and your father decided not to eat out and made food for ourselves and some leftovers for you and your friend. But don’t worry we wouldn’t be in your way, me and your father are just going to stay in our room.” She said as she waved bye to us and walked up stairs. Oh great at least they are going to stay in their room.

“Well at least now we have time to talk some more and the foods all done for us.” Shawn said as we walked over to the dinning room table and saw the food on the table. Some mashed potatoes, some boneless chicken with some red sauce all over it, and some green beans with some brown sauce all over with some peanuts and little crumbs of stuff.

Me and Shawn sat down while Emily went over to get some plates. “Here, sorry about this Maria.” She added as she also put some forks down. “Oh and be right back let me get something from my room.” She said as she quickly walked up stairs. Jeez.

“It’s okay and take your time.” I said after her. I turned back to the table and got some food on my plate. Looks good. But than noticed Shawn was just sitting there. “What not going to eat?” He smiled and got some food too. I got my fork and started eating some chicken. “So Shawn….” I started to say as I picked some of my food. I’m sorry I was a b***h to you, that we never talked that much, that I treated you like s**t.

“I really wish you didn’t have to go.” Shawn whispered as Emily came back with a camera. Yeah, me either but… I looked at my fork and than suddenly saw a big flash. I quickly turned my head to Emily who was smiling with a camera in my way.
End Chapters.
Really sorry again.

Interesting Explorer

LOL, thanks, Sonic is very lovely. I think he's poking me with the sword though. stare . As for your chapters, it was great and you have a few common errors, but you improved. Also, you repeatedly spelled 'shocked' wrong. Emily took a picture of Maria eating, that is too funny. Aw, Shawn is going to miss Maria. It seemed that he was only okay on the outside. Really, why can't Maria just tell them what's on her mind? Oooh, can't wait for the reaction from Ryan. You've done a good job. Can't wait for the next update.
Aww, both of the ending in the chapters are really really cute. Makes me get a big grin on my face. XDD
Good chapters.
it's been such a long time since i read this story, i had to read the last chapters to remember the story so far. anyways, yay for new chapters! i liked them and i'll be waiting for more

Ruthless Hunter

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awesome chapters! i liked em.
it was good! i wonder where she's going to move?..
Chase Hetterz
Your style seems very awkward and jerks the reader from the beginning. It doesn't seem to flow very well....

You might also want to put up a warning at beginning of story that it contains cussing, as not every user on this site is old enough to be exposed to words like f***.

Edit----

Quote:

God I’m starving! I banged my head on my desk. Ten more minutes 'till lunch time. I looked up at Mrs. Baker, my reading teacher who was looking at Shawn. He was reading a story, out loud, from our reading book. I looked at the clock again. I sighed loudly and then all of a sudden my hair bow came loose but I didn’t feel like fixing it, so I left my hair down.


Maybe switch to:
Quote:

God, I'm starving! I banged my head on my desk yet again. Ten more minutes 'till lunch time...

I looked up at my reader teacher, Mrs. Baker, who happened to be looking at Shawn. He was reading aloud from our book. I looked at the clock again. I sighed loudly. Then, to make matters worse, my hair bow came loose. Since I didn't feel like fixing it, I left my hair down.


It seems to flow a little better there while still getting your message across. I also separated into two paragraphs because typically thoughts and dialogue are given their own paragraphs.

Hope it helps.


I would suggest:

God I’m starving! I banged my head on my desk. Ten more minutes 'till lunch time. I glanced up at Mrs. Baker, my reading teacher. She was looking at Shawn, who was reading a story, out loud, from our reading book. I looked at the clock again and signed loudly. Suddenly my hair bow came loose, but I was so bored and hungry I didn’t feel like fixing it, so I just left my hair down to do what it wanted.

Cause to me reader teacher sounds awkward,so I liked the original out of the two best.
This is pretty good. Certainly an improvement from when you first started. There were some errors though, perhaps you could copy it and spell check it in Word. You also use the word than when it should be then. Word also has a grammar check in it too, so that should clear up most of it. The suspense is killing me! I can't wait for the next one though. Good work Chi!
Moremoremore! xd
I haven't been here in ages... So I just finished reading all of my story so far. Just wow, reading it all over again. I noticed mistakes here and there. Things I could've did better. Things I could've did differently. And I read the comments, LOL, had me rolling.

I miss this. I miss you all of you guys. I wish I could've finished this story.

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