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Ovinance

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Post: 6239188_1 created on Thu, 24 Feb 2005 22:42:29 +0000
Posted: Thu, 24 Feb 2005 22:42:29 +0000

Calming Effect

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Post: 6239188_2 created on Thu, 24 Feb 2005 22:54:08 +0000
Posted: Thu, 24 Feb 2005 22:54:08 +0000

Really great sentence structure, detail, and ideas... The only critizm is avoid the I and my. Though comparitivly its not half as rampid as i've seen in most writers smile

Ovinance

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Post: 6239188_3 created on Thu, 24 Feb 2005 23:18:31 +0000
Posted: Thu, 24 Feb 2005 23:18:31 +0000

sweatdrop Thanks 3nodding it's my longest short storie and my first one with a sort-of fight scene sweatdrop

poetryrox

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Post: 6239188_4 created on Thu, 24 Feb 2005 23:31:34 +0000
Posted: Thu, 24 Feb 2005 23:31:34 +0000

Ovinance

sweatdrop Thanks 3nodding it's my longest short storie and my first one with a sort-of fight scene sweatdrop

I love the sensory detail!

Calming Effect

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Post: 6239188_5 created on Fri, 25 Feb 2005 00:14:31 +0000
Posted: Fri, 25 Feb 2005 00:14:31 +0000

Ovinance

sweatdrop Thanks 3nodding it's my longest short storie and my first one with a sort-of fight scene sweatdrop

Welcome! Love to help!

cutie_pie9879

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Post: 6239188_6 created on Fri, 25 Feb 2005 00:37:56 +0000
Posted: Fri, 25 Feb 2005 00:37:56 +0000

Great!!!!! But to many i and mys i think keep it up!

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