Harmonic Tune
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Astral Phantom
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- Posted: Sat, 17 Nov 2012 22:03:35 +0000
Okay so this short story just came to me with no plot line or correlation I do not know if it should become something of it. Need some feedback if the idea is any good or to cliche. Criticize good or bad, Tell me! biggrin
Rusty, but I just thought of it as of now
Twin Sibilings, Both humans just a bit more than average
Rimma: Protagonist younger sister
Has the "touch" and her "powers" are still developing
Can see the dead, hear,and later on touch when she finds herself but not yet. Her powers are more useful with ghost and all that spriual realm stuff with shadows.
Personality: Rimma is not shy to speak her mind and sometimes goes overboard without care for the other persons feelings but even so she is kind to does she loves and feels there worth her time. She is loyal, honest, brave and would do things without a second thought She is sometimes rebellious when being told what to do by her brother. (not good at following orders)
Ren: older brother (of course)
Mood swings he get a feel on peoples "auras" as one might say or energy. Pinpoint people locations, ghost, or spiritual beings. Because he is first born he is stronger than Rimma. You could say his "powers" came first to him then Rimmas.He is the one with visions and dreams that come rarely to him and just by touching a person can see their past and what they are feeling at that moment. His powers interact more with people who are alive.
Personality:Takes care of Rimma. Might be a lttle overprotective of her. He is the resposible one and can easily sway other people to do his bidding. With his great personality and charm, he can get, do, anything he wants.(convincing usually when his sis gets into touble and has to bail her out) He is more outgoing and open to people. Some say he doesn have a care in the world but is never true. And though he acts like a good guy, he do anything to keep Rimma safe even if it meant killing. Deep down he has his own problems he does not let it show. His the guy your girl bestfriend would fall for your older brother. (Dunno why but it happens more often than not)
Nick: Soul Reaper, Grim Reaper. (yea I know realistic aint it)
Well the Twins Mother is in the brink of death so why not thow in the gate keeper or something afterall this short story revolves around the Spiritual world. Oh and uhh he and Rimma have met before.
Personality: Arrogant and wont take bs from anyone. He is very blunt, rude, and does what is most convenient to him. Tho he might put off a front but he is modest, thoughtful and does his job with no fail. He takes things seriously and cares for the ghosts.
Fearing Death: First Appearence
She still remembered the first time she had been in a hospital, it was when her grandfather had fallen ill. She was told she wasnt allowed and to stay outside until her mother came for her and her brother at the lobby. As a kid she was very inpatient and so she stood cofident nurses wouldnt stop a 6 year old if they saw her.
“Hey! Where are you goin’?”
Rimma shush her twin brother not telling him her plans, “I’ll be back before you know it.”
Ren shrugged, “Fine, just dont ask for me to save you if you get caught.”
She stick her tounge out at him and left.
Rimma walked past the desk and down the corrider. She had heard the room number before,
‘47…9?’
All she had to do was find an elevator. She made a left reading signs along the wall or hanging from the ceiling. It had taken her time to reach her grandfathers room without complications. No one stopped her, questioned her, or even noticed her.
Rimma stood outside fighting herself if she really should enter and face the truth.
‘Maybe its the wrong number’ she thought ‘oh stop making excuses’
She reach the knob, turn it slowly, heart rising, and ramped up enough curouge to step in. She took in a waft of medicine and chlorine. Moniters lined beside her granpa near his bed, each having a distinctive use and noise. She hated the one that pump air the most.
‘Grampa doesnt need that’ she thought.
She scanned the room thourghly. Her mom sat on a chair sleeping beside him on the bed. The top of her head showed how badly she kept her curly hair into a tangle mess.
Rimma jogged towards them, looking closely at her now sleeping grampa. His skin was a bit delicate like a map of wrinckles. Little hair he had was neatly comb and his face, ignoring the oxygen wire on his nose, was at ease,calm and peaceful, serien, no cringled wrinckles on his forhead. Rimma squinted her eyes and just the right angled he appeared young and useful to her. She climb at the foot of his bed, leaning foward and touched his leg.
“Grampa?” She said tentevily, wonderin if he had heard her.
At that momemt there was a nagging sound that stroude on forever waking up her mother. Her mother immeditly stood, “Dad?” at first it was a mere whispered before she bacame frantic, “Dad? Dad! OMG… OMG… OMG… Nooo!” She rushed towards the door and yelled out for a nurse. Rimma crwaled back and fell.
A doctor and nurse rush in, examining and taking his pulse. Her heart wanted to choke her, beating throughout he body, each time faster and faster picking up speed, drowning all noise. Her mom had gone hysterical breaking down and was exited out the room. There Rimma stood outof place as people slide in and out the door, not able see him anymore by all the people surrounding him, until she felt a warm hand stroke her cheek and looked up with big eyes. There he was, her grandfather, radient and smiling, completly healty
“Now you be a good girl and be safe.” He said.
Rimma gripped his funny coat he always wore and closed her eyes, “I’m gonna miss you, grampa.”
With that said a nurse finally took notice of her and ushered her outside along eith her mother who had slide down against the wall and sobbed. She look over shoulder before the door closly with no trace of her grampa standing beside them. He was truly gone.
Her mom looked up in pain and pulled her by the arm caressing her. She tried to hide it and act calm even tho she choked on her own words.
“When did you- gget here? Huhh?” Her mother baried he face on her small head.
“Miss Annen?” Stiff with bug eyes she stood gripping her childs hand tightly.
The doctor look at her mother directly and slowly said, “We’re sorry.”
After does words her mother’s legs couldnt sustaine themslves.
Rimma closed her eyes before openomg them grasping the here and now, her mother wheeled off into an operation room, the doors swaying as they rus her in Her bloodstained hands and clothing played funny tricks to her eyes as the color blurred. Ren hugged her from behind. She couldnt move yet her body trembled uncontrolably.
“It’s okay. It’s okay.” Ren whispered it over and over willing it to be true but it wasnt.
She could feel him tremble along with her as fresh tears wet the back of her neck. He was tring to be stong for both their sakes but right now they needed comforting, they need it each other, amd together they stayed huddled together the entire night wating for does doors to open once more.
Rusty, but I just thought of it as of now
Twin Sibilings, Both humans just a bit more than average
Rimma: Protagonist younger sister
Has the "touch" and her "powers" are still developing
Can see the dead, hear,and later on touch when she finds herself but not yet. Her powers are more useful with ghost and all that spriual realm stuff with shadows.
Personality: Rimma is not shy to speak her mind and sometimes goes overboard without care for the other persons feelings but even so she is kind to does she loves and feels there worth her time. She is loyal, honest, brave and would do things without a second thought She is sometimes rebellious when being told what to do by her brother. (not good at following orders)
Ren: older brother (of course)
Mood swings he get a feel on peoples "auras" as one might say or energy. Pinpoint people locations, ghost, or spiritual beings. Because he is first born he is stronger than Rimma. You could say his "powers" came first to him then Rimmas.He is the one with visions and dreams that come rarely to him and just by touching a person can see their past and what they are feeling at that moment. His powers interact more with people who are alive.
Personality:Takes care of Rimma. Might be a lttle overprotective of her. He is the resposible one and can easily sway other people to do his bidding. With his great personality and charm, he can get, do, anything he wants.(convincing usually when his sis gets into touble and has to bail her out) He is more outgoing and open to people. Some say he doesn have a care in the world but is never true. And though he acts like a good guy, he do anything to keep Rimma safe even if it meant killing. Deep down he has his own problems he does not let it show. His the guy your girl bestfriend would fall for your older brother. (Dunno why but it happens more often than not)
Nick: Soul Reaper, Grim Reaper. (yea I know realistic aint it)
Well the Twins Mother is in the brink of death so why not thow in the gate keeper or something afterall this short story revolves around the Spiritual world. Oh and uhh he and Rimma have met before.
Personality: Arrogant and wont take bs from anyone. He is very blunt, rude, and does what is most convenient to him. Tho he might put off a front but he is modest, thoughtful and does his job with no fail. He takes things seriously and cares for the ghosts.
Fearing Death: First Appearence
She still remembered the first time she had been in a hospital, it was when her grandfather had fallen ill. She was told she wasnt allowed and to stay outside until her mother came for her and her brother at the lobby. As a kid she was very inpatient and so she stood cofident nurses wouldnt stop a 6 year old if they saw her.
“Hey! Where are you goin’?”
Rimma shush her twin brother not telling him her plans, “I’ll be back before you know it.”
Ren shrugged, “Fine, just dont ask for me to save you if you get caught.”
She stick her tounge out at him and left.
Rimma walked past the desk and down the corrider. She had heard the room number before,
‘47…9?’
All she had to do was find an elevator. She made a left reading signs along the wall or hanging from the ceiling. It had taken her time to reach her grandfathers room without complications. No one stopped her, questioned her, or even noticed her.
Rimma stood outside fighting herself if she really should enter and face the truth.
‘Maybe its the wrong number’ she thought ‘oh stop making excuses’
She reach the knob, turn it slowly, heart rising, and ramped up enough curouge to step in. She took in a waft of medicine and chlorine. Moniters lined beside her granpa near his bed, each having a distinctive use and noise. She hated the one that pump air the most.
‘Grampa doesnt need that’ she thought.
She scanned the room thourghly. Her mom sat on a chair sleeping beside him on the bed. The top of her head showed how badly she kept her curly hair into a tangle mess.
Rimma jogged towards them, looking closely at her now sleeping grampa. His skin was a bit delicate like a map of wrinckles. Little hair he had was neatly comb and his face, ignoring the oxygen wire on his nose, was at ease,calm and peaceful, serien, no cringled wrinckles on his forhead. Rimma squinted her eyes and just the right angled he appeared young and useful to her. She climb at the foot of his bed, leaning foward and touched his leg.
“Grampa?” She said tentevily, wonderin if he had heard her.
At that momemt there was a nagging sound that stroude on forever waking up her mother. Her mother immeditly stood, “Dad?” at first it was a mere whispered before she bacame frantic, “Dad? Dad! OMG… OMG… OMG… Nooo!” She rushed towards the door and yelled out for a nurse. Rimma crwaled back and fell.
A doctor and nurse rush in, examining and taking his pulse. Her heart wanted to choke her, beating throughout he body, each time faster and faster picking up speed, drowning all noise. Her mom had gone hysterical breaking down and was exited out the room. There Rimma stood outof place as people slide in and out the door, not able see him anymore by all the people surrounding him, until she felt a warm hand stroke her cheek and looked up with big eyes. There he was, her grandfather, radient and smiling, completly healty
“Now you be a good girl and be safe.” He said.
Rimma gripped his funny coat he always wore and closed her eyes, “I’m gonna miss you, grampa.”
With that said a nurse finally took notice of her and ushered her outside along eith her mother who had slide down against the wall and sobbed. She look over shoulder before the door closly with no trace of her grampa standing beside them. He was truly gone.
Her mom looked up in pain and pulled her by the arm caressing her. She tried to hide it and act calm even tho she choked on her own words.
“When did you- gget here? Huhh?” Her mother baried he face on her small head.
“Miss Annen?” Stiff with bug eyes she stood gripping her childs hand tightly.
The doctor look at her mother directly and slowly said, “We’re sorry.”
After does words her mother’s legs couldnt sustaine themslves.
Rimma closed her eyes before openomg them grasping the here and now, her mother wheeled off into an operation room, the doors swaying as they rus her in Her bloodstained hands and clothing played funny tricks to her eyes as the color blurred. Ren hugged her from behind. She couldnt move yet her body trembled uncontrolably.
“It’s okay. It’s okay.” Ren whispered it over and over willing it to be true but it wasnt.
She could feel him tremble along with her as fresh tears wet the back of her neck. He was tring to be stong for both their sakes but right now they needed comforting, they need it each other, amd together they stayed huddled together the entire night wating for does doors to open once more.
