Dreams of flight - a novel by khalia marking

[Drowned by Bees]

this whole story looks like it was written by someone who was high on crystal meth

HOLY CRAP SO THERE WAS THESE CATS AND THEY WERE RUNNING BUT NOW THEY'RE FOXES AND OLD GREY TOM APPEARS AND SAYS SOME s**t AND THEN IS NEVER MENTIONED AGAIN BUT ******** THIS OTHER GUY COMES OUT AND ******** TRANSFORMS INTO A BLACK TOM AND WHO HAS YELLOW EYES AGAIN?

i'm not trying to be rude but you have literally no cohesion whatsoever and that's coming from someone who enjoys reading stupid things

extrapolate more on what you have and make it more of an actual story and less of brain diarhhea

[Feather1239]

>.> Thanks that really helps my confidence. Just to let you know I am in MIDDLE SCHOOL, I KNOW this is not book quality, It's just a rough draft, as I have stated MANY times, read before you hate, retard stressed

[Feather1239]

Feather1239

>.> Thanks that really helps my confidence. Just to let you know I am in MIDDLE SCHOOL, I KNOW this is not book quality, It's just a rough draft, as I have stated MANY times, read before you hate, retard stressed

by the way, you said that that old grey guy was never seen again and a new one came, they where the SAME cat, please read more carefully!

[Feather1239]

Feather1239

>.> Thanks that really helps my confidence. Just to let you know I am in MIDDLE SCHOOL, I KNOW this is not book quality, It's just a rough draft, as I have stated MANY times, read before you hate, retard stressed

by the way, you said that that old grey guy was never seen again and a new one came, they where the SAME cat, please read more carefully!

[WindFlight]

Drowned by Bees

this whole story looks like it was written by someone who was high on crystal meth

HOLY CRAP SO THERE WAS THESE CATS AND THEY WERE RUNNING BUT NOW THEY'RE FOXES AND OLD GREY TOM APPEARS AND SAYS SOME s**t AND THEN IS NEVER MENTIONED AGAIN BUT ******** THIS OTHER GUY COMES OUT AND ******** TRANSFORMS INTO A BLACK TOM AND WHO HAS YELLOW EYES AGAIN?

i'm not trying to be rude but you have literally no cohesion whatsoever and that's coming from someone who enjoys reading stupid things

extrapolate more on what you have and make it more of an actual story and less of brain diarhhea

Who enjoys reading stupid things, and whose rare use of punctuation is often incorrect. Considering that the author is in middle school, writing a rough draft, and probably busy with other stuff, it's a really good story. Oh, by the way, I like trying other peoples writing styles. Here's an example:

so this comment looks like it was written by some guy who doesn't know what a period is
and who apparently did not read the story he's insulting well enough to even notice that the old grey cat and the shapeshifter have the same name and stuff
maybe the person who wrote the comment should have read through it better before posting

[WindFlight]

...and I didn't notice any cats shapeshift into foxes. Did I miss something?

Don't let him hurt your confidence, 'Feather. wink

[Feather1239]

Daww, thanks. And yeah, no cats transform into foxes >.> where did he get that from?!?!? I don't have a part for you today, I had lots HW and I apologize sweatdrop

[Feather1239]

Okay, I lied, there IS a chapter today, I’m so evil :3

Meadow humphed unhappily “YES that was my big reveal, what of it?”

Feather chuckled “It just wasn’t very...well… big.”

Meadow glared expectantly at her friend “how so?”

“Wellllll, it’s not very surprising that he has a brother, he might have been in a litter… and, well, I mean…. It would be better if he had a long and violent history…”

Meadow frowned teasingly “Well, life isn’t a movie, and as I was saying before I was SO RUDELY interrupted. Hawk doesn’t dome around often, and he’s also a pretty strong shapeshifter. Tar and Hawk don’t get along too well, but I heard that Tar might be coming soon too, it will be like watching a drama between two brothers.” She sqee’d the last part.

As Feather was about to retort with an ‘I SO knew that’ a thump sounded from outside the door. “That’s him!” Meadow turned sternly to Feather “Don’t be too surprised, he can be weird, and don’t look directly into his eyes.”

“Wh- why not-“ Feather was cut off as Meadow interrupted with a loud

“Hello Hawk!” Slapping her overly fluffy tail over Feather’s mouth, who protested loudly and spat out tufts of brown fur. When Feather looked up she gasped.

It was not the handsome gold color of his coat that caught her eye, or the trickster smirk on his face, but his eyes. They had pitch-black irises with pure white pupils, and they darted around unnervingly before settling on Feather. “And who’s this tiny cat?”

Feather huffed. ‘He’s only a LITTLE bigger then me, why does everyone around here call me tiny?’

“That’s Feather.” Meadow leaned forward “She’s Pearl’s daughter!” She whispered the last part dramatically, and smiled when Hawk stiffened; glad someone had the right reaction.

“Are you suurrerueurue’ broken record sounds Sorry, I lost the will to type more today sweatdrop More tomorrow

[Drowned by Bees]

WindFlight

Drowned by Bees

this whole story looks like it was written by someone who was high on crystal meth

HOLY CRAP SO THERE WAS THESE CATS AND THEY WERE RUNNING BUT NOW THEY'RE FOXES AND OLD GREY TOM APPEARS AND SAYS SOME s**t AND THEN IS NEVER MENTIONED AGAIN BUT ******** THIS OTHER GUY COMES OUT AND ******** TRANSFORMS INTO A BLACK TOM AND WHO HAS YELLOW EYES AGAIN?

i'm not trying to be rude but you have literally no cohesion whatsoever and that's coming from someone who enjoys reading stupid things

extrapolate more on what you have and make it more of an actual story and less of brain diarhhea

Who enjoys reading stupid things, and whose rare use of punctuation is often incorrect. Considering that the author is in middle school, writing a rough draft, and probably busy with other stuff, it's a really good story. Oh, by the way, I like trying other peoples writing styles. Here's an example:

so this comment looks like it was written by some guy who doesn't know what a period is
and who apparently did not read the story he's insulting well enough to even notice that the old grey cat and the shapeshifter have the same name and stuff
maybe the person who wrote the comment should have read through it better before posting

i didnt use a period or punctuation because i didnt want to waste my time

not that it matters

[Feather1239]

Drowned by Bees

WindFlight

Drowned by Bees

this whole story looks like it was written by someone who was high on crystal meth

HOLY CRAP SO THERE WAS THESE CATS AND THEY WERE RUNNING BUT NOW THEY'RE FOXES AND OLD GREY TOM APPEARS AND SAYS SOME s**t AND THEN IS NEVER MENTIONED AGAIN BUT ******** THIS OTHER GUY COMES OUT AND ******** TRANSFORMS INTO A BLACK TOM AND WHO HAS YELLOW EYES AGAIN?

i'm not trying to be rude but you have literally no cohesion whatsoever and that's coming from someone who enjoys reading stupid things

extrapolate more on what you have and make it more of an actual story and less of brain diarhhea

Who enjoys reading stupid things, and whose rare use of punctuation is often incorrect. Considering that the author is in middle school, writing a rough draft, and probably busy with other stuff, it's a really good story. Oh, by the way, I like trying other peoples writing styles. Here's an example:

so this comment looks like it was written by some guy who doesn't know what a period is
and who apparently did not read the story he's insulting well enough to even notice that the old grey cat and the shapeshifter have the same name and stuff
maybe the person who wrote the comment should have read through it better before posting

i didnt use a period or punctuation because i didnt want to waste my time

not that it matters

Then DON'T waste your time and stop trolling my story!

[Feather1239]

Hawk tilted his head toward Feather. “Nice to meet you, I am Hawk, Tar’s brother, as this gossiper has probably already told you.” He sent a pointed glare said gossipers way, and Meadow snickered.

Feather nodded “How come you never come here at the same time as Tar? I mean, if my siblings were alive I would want to spend every minute with them.”

Hawk snorted “Tar and I aren’t on the best of terms, O.K? We both made some pretty bad choices-of course his were worse!” He shook his head quickly, as is ridding his ears of a ringing. “Anyway I heard he might be coming soon so I’m in and out of here, what do you know about flying so far?”

Feather barreled on, completely ignoring his questions in favor of her own. “What are you two the Cloud Clan? You don’t live here and you don’t seem to hang around much, so what exactly got you a place in this Clan?”

Hawk sighed. “My brother and I basically act as spies, or natural powers allow us to get out of sticky situations with quick thinking and wit, but we also explore unknown land for new areas to settle. Our family has been in Cloud Clan for centuries, it was one of my long lost relatives who found this sheltered valley.”

Feather bounced on the tips of her claws, leaning forward and peering around Hawk’s shoulder. He gave her an odd look and scooted away. Feather blushed slightly “Oh, sorry, I was just looking for your wings, but I don’t see any, how do you fly-wait a second!” Her eyes narrowed, glaring daggers at Hawk, who wilted under her intense gaze. “You aren’t another shapeshifter, are you?” She practically hissed.

“W-well, yeah I am but no-“

“I KNEW IT!” Feather screeched, “You’re just as crazy as Tar, you’re just going to turn into a bird and kidnap me again!”

Hawk looked stunned “How on earth did you know???” he gasped, causing the livid Feather to pause.

“Well that’s what Tar did but-“

Hawk began to glow brightly ‘Aww, not again!” Feather grumbled to herself as she averted her eyes. When she could look back again she blinked away the spots from her eyes and leaned to look at where the tom had stood. Now in Hawks place was, well, a hawk. It was about the size of a Cloud Clan member, and had judging flint yellow eyes. “While Tar has many forms he can take, I have only this. As you could guess it’s where I got my name from, my parents are not very creative when it come to naming their children.”

((A/N: And that’s it, the writers block has clogged my brain, blocking all ideas but the ones for a new story I am itching to write, but I know I have to work on this! Maybe I will write a series of short stories to get the evil plot bunnies from my mind @^@ ))

[WindFlight]

"How did you know?!???"
I almost LOL'd. And I hardly ever do, at least at stories. It's very fun so far, cats say things at just the right time and I think it has a great effect.
Wait, is he going to kidnap her or did he just mean the shapeshifting?

Also, my solution to evil plot bunnies: Replace them with chocolate bunnies! biggrin IT might not help your story much though...

[WindFlight]

Drowned by Bees

i didnt use a period or punctuation because i didnt want to waste my time

not that it matters

You didn't want to waste your time? Would that explain the lack of clothes on your avatar? (That's something of a pet peeve of mine...)
Also, I find it interesting that you checked this thread if you didn't want to waste your time on it. I understand you posting the first time but the second...?

[WindFlight]

Thought I'd check back in to see how the evil plot bunnies were doing! I hope you can conquer them soon, but I COMPLETELY understand what it's like when you get a new story idea. You can work on that and write more about Feather when you get inspired. I will be here! :3

[Feather1239]

WindFlight

Thought I'd check back in to see how the evil plot bunnies were doing! I hope you can conquer them soon, but I COMPLETELY understand what it's like when you get a new story idea. You can work on that and write more about Feather when you get inspired. I will be here! :3

Aww, thanks! I have taken a creative writing class and it has REALLY helped!