Walking Black Hole (a meticulous mess of a collective)

[The Local Bat]

(The Local Bat with a fake mustache on): Wow, Bat, that's some real good poetry there! I think that everyone should read this poetry and get as much enjoyment out of it as I, who am clearly not the writer of these poems but instead am a person with a mustache who looks sort of similar, did.

The only thing is, though, that sometimes you lose your momentum because of a lack of stylistic consistency. It seems sometimes you get stuck and either shift the rhythm or go with absurd imagery and/or phrasing and the result becomes something of a rough part--a glitch where two smooth passages connect. I think you should work on that and then your work would improve.

[The Local Bat]

The Local Bat with a Fake Mustache On

(The Local Bat with a fake mustache on): Wow, Bat, that's some real good poetry there! I think that everyone should read this poetry and get as much enjoyment out of it as I, who am clearly not the writer of these poems but instead am a person with a mustache who looks sort of similar, did.

The only thing is, though, that sometimes you lose your momentum because of a lack of stylistic consistency. It seems sometimes you get stuck and either shift the rhythm or go with absurd imagery and/or phrasing and the result becomes something of a rough part--a glitch where two smooth passages connect. I think you should work on that and then your work would improve.

MNA ******** UR FUCIN FACE HATRE WHY YOU JUDGIN MY POETRY COMES FROM THE HEART ITS NOT SUPPSED TO BE A BOUGHT AALL THAT FASCSIST BULLSHIT MNA IT COMES FROM THE HEART!

[The Local Bat]

The Local Bat

The Local Bat with a Fake Mustache On

(The Local Bat with a fake mustache on): Wow, Bat, that's some real good poetry there! I think that everyone should read this poetry and get as much enjoyment out of it as I, who am clearly not the writer of these poems but instead am a person with a mustache who looks sort of similar, did.

The only thing is, though, that sometimes you lose your momentum because of a lack of stylistic consistency. It seems sometimes you get stuck and either shift the rhythm or go with absurd imagery and/or phrasing and the result becomes something of a rough part--a glitch where two smooth passages connect. I think you should work on that and then your work would improve.

MNA ******** UR FUCIN FACE HATRE WHY YOU JUDGIN MY POETRY COMES FROM THE HEART ITS NOT SUPPSED TO BE A BOUGHT AALL THAT FASCSIST BULLSHIT MNA IT COMES FROM THE HEART!

(The Local Bat with a fake mustache on): Whoa, man, I was just voicing my opinion on your work, there isn't any reason to get hostile.

Seriously, man, if you don't want/can't handle people criticizing your work, you might not want to post in a workshop-based poetry forum. Or you should put NC on your posts so that people do not criticize it.

Read the stickies. Peace.

[The Local Bat]

The Local Bat with a Fake Mustache On

The Local Bat

The Local Bat with a Fake Mustache On

(The Local Bat with a fake mustache on): Wow, Bat, that's some real good poetry there! I think that everyone should read this poetry and get as much enjoyment out of it as I, who am clearly not the writer of these poems but instead am a person with a mustache who looks sort of similar, did.

The only thing is, though, that sometimes you lose your momentum because of a lack of stylistic consistency. It seems sometimes you get stuck and either shift the rhythm or go with absurd imagery and/or phrasing and the result becomes something of a rough part--a glitch where two smooth passages connect. I think you should work on that and then your work would improve.

MNA ******** UR FUCIN FACE HATRE WHY YOU JUDGIN MY POETRY COMES FROM THE HEART ITS NOT SUPPSED TO BE A BOUGHT AALL THAT FASCSIST BULLSHIT MNA IT COMES FROM THE HEART!

(The Local Bat with a fake mustache on): Whoa, man, I was just voicing my opinion on your work, there isn't any reason to get hostile.

Seriously, man, if you don't want/can't handle people criticizing your work, you might not want to post in a workshop-based poetry forum. Or you should put NC on your posts so that people do not criticize it.

Read the stickies. Peace.

Whatever, man. I was kind of kidding about ******** you and s**t, but I mean, seriously, your comment is like "whatever" not even a legitimate comment. I mean, especially since I wrote this whole manuscript in about an hour, spent about five-ten minutes on each poem (which is really impressive, right? I mean daaaaamn how could someone write something so fast? I must be really talented...).

So whatever, I don't need to ******** read any sticky s**t or NC any old bull. Just back the hell off my thread if you don't like my work, I do what the ******** I want.

[Son Vrai]

did i not reply to any of this? i swear i did >_<

[The Local Bat]

Lol... (I don't think so?) It's okay, though. I know you posted on some of these when they were individual poems, so that's good enough. I just have no more material to post that I am half-satisfied with now that it is all consolidated in this collective, so I am shamelessly bumping thread through this split-personality opera of mine. Arguing with other versions of me is where it's at.

[Son Vrai]

ah i noticed you arguing with yourself- in the most delightfully classic sense of the term, lol.

Quote:

...risk of not getting a license pales in comparison...

- in firecracker

I used this phrase in one of my earlier poems, and recently a handy critiquer called me on it. So I will do the same for you, you can think up a much cleverer way to say what you mean without saying that.

[The Local Bat]

Son Vrai

ah i noticed you arguing with yourself- in the most delightfully classic sense of the term, lol.

Quote:

...risk of not getting a license pales in comparison...

- in firecracker

I used this phrase in one of my earlier poems, and recently a handy critiquer called me on it. So I will do the same for you, you can think up a much cleverer way to say what you mean without saying that.

I think that's probably, absolutely true. That one was an earlier poem as well, and could maybe use some freshening up in its language. Thanks for reading it and noticing that. Thanks for reading and noticing that. smile

[rumirumirumirumi]

I see you have mastered Smoke On the Water but have you yet played Stairway to Heaven?

I say turn up the gain on the guitar and take off the mic effects.

or You have made a plate of mongolian beef, but you have sliced your meat too thin and your veggies are chopped too course. Keep the recipe, but cut.

or You have scuttled your net across the sea, but all things are pulled on deck. Whether you want the tunas or you want the pearls, the boots and empty bean cans must be thrown overboard.

Does that make sense? Any of it?

[The Local Bat]

rumirumirumirumi

Does that make sense? Any of it?

I think...

you are telling me that what I'm driving at is good, but there's a lot of junk cluttered throughout? I've heard a lot of analogies like yours before, lol. While I don't find them illegitimate complaints, I suppose they are sort of paralyzing nevertheless. I find that to be immensely difficult advice to follow.

rumirumirumirumi

the boots and empty bean cans must be thrown overboard.

Aw, but I want to keep it all! xp It's all so damn precious.

Anyway, thank you for actually taking the time to read (some of) this and comment on it; I'm grateful, and if you'd wish to elaborate on your analogies, I'd be all ears (and ears with fake mustaches).

[rumirumirumirumi]

Actually, do you mind if I get ruckus and irreverent with this stuff? mrgreen

[The Local Bat]

rumirumirumirumi

Actually, do you mind if I get ruckus and irreverent with this stuff? mrgreen

Yikes, I guess if you have to ask permission, it must be pretty bad...

Go ahead, lol; that's why it's here.

[The Local Bat]

Aww... I thought there would be irreverent ruckus being brought. Too bad, lol.

[organum]

The Local Bat

(circles for rhythmxxxcircles forthe sake of sound, and not mu(.x)x(.x)xMY POEM: (dot dot dot)
soundxxxcircles for rhythmor the sake of sound, and not much else.ccwell, s**t, maybe
circles for soundxxxcircles forthe sake of sound, and not much else.cxthey are right about the
rhythmxxxcircles for soundor the sake of sound, and not much else.ccmodernists. In that case
circles for rhythmxxxcircles forthe sake of sound, and not much else.cI’m stuck on a word in
soundxxxcircles for rhythmor the sake of sound, and not much else.cca Cummings poem—
circles for soundxxxcircles forthe sake of sound, and not much else.cc“omiepsicron1onO—“
rhythmxxxcircles for soundor the sake of sound, and not much else.ccyeah, can anyone tell me
circles for rhythmxxxcirclesthe sake of sound, and not much else.cxxxwhat that word means?
for soundxxxcircles for rhythm
circles forxxxsound)

I read this a few months ago. Even now it makes me laugh.