The Tragedy of the Robot Boy

[XxStitchedxX]

A little poem by me. I wanted to write something as cool as Tim Burton. Anybody who's read, The Melancholy Death of Oyster Boy and other stories will know what I'm talking about...

What a strange little boy, everyone thought
Because this little boy was a little robot
Others laughed at his cold, metal skin
And they teased him 'bout his head made of tin
He was often sad and he was often cold
But this robot boy had a heart of gold
He indulged in nature, he was fond of art
This brought him joy, and filled his heart
Then, one sad day that was dark and dim
The other children kept laughing at him
So this robot boy began to walk home
He walked in the rain, and he walked all alone
Unfortunately for this robot
Waterproof, he surely was not
He began to sputter and began to spark
Then, robot's world went completely dark
No more nature, no more art
No more twenty-four karat heart
All were sad as you can guess
For they caused robot boy's tragic death.

[The rebel prince!]

No body can copy Tim burton

he pwns most everyone

I didn't like the fact that the whole thing didnt have any breaks

or that it kept starting with the same words


maybeh it was the whole thing seemed forced to rhyme


very kewl idea though


work on it, I want to see more whee

[XxStitchedxX]

Ah, you misunderstood, mah friend. I did not want to copy Tim Burton, just write something as brilliant. I appreciate your critique though and I'll try and work on that. Thanks.