Running on Broken Limbs

[blue2draconian]

Running on Broken Limbs

Fleeing your touch,
wanting no more of you.
Leaving what some call
my safe haven.

They do not see you
when the devil doth possess,
when you have drunk more than you aught should
when you blame the maiden yonder.

Tears of bitter hate,
of a love I thought I had.
Knowing that I am nothing
but an insignificant speck.

Wanting to melt away,
or else to blow away like dust.
Not wanting your "safety"
nor your "love" any longer.

Fearing for my sanity
and my heart made of glass.
You have stripped the wings of angels
to create my so-called gossamer "haven."

Rushing through my mind
and the forest that called me.
Not wishing to stay
where so many others dare not go.

I cry tears of acid
which course down my face.
Burning my skin, and yet
fuelling my anger, my rage.

Knowing that I cannot
possibly out run you.
You broke my heart and my bones
just moments before.

Yet outrun you I must
else face your "love",
your poisonous "care",
feeling your eyes bore into my soul.

So run I must,
into complete darkness,
towards possible death,
yet away from you, my love.

[animepurinsesu]

Not as good as the other you just posted but yet still very nice. ^ ^ I like it, for this I'd suggest going farther away from the short lines.

[blue2draconian]

Thanks! Much appreciated. 3nodding

[chickahispana]

I must say, I am sure you have incredible potential. What I am saying now, I have said to several others, so don't feel offended. I think that some stanzas are wonderful, but some are weaker than others.You prepare th audience for a grander ending that you're leading them to believe. Some stanzas are a bit choppy, so stay away from making them too short unless you are SURE beyond doubt that it brings the point across the way that you intend it to. Work a little more on the ending, because I am certain that with a little tweaking here and there, you can have a beautiful piece in no time.
heart ,
chickahispana

[blue2draconian]

Thanks chickahispana, you make very valid points, Igreatly appreciate them!