Elixir-10 MK-II v1b
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- Posted: Wed, 23 Jul 2008 12:02:16 +0000
Point taken.
The rules are actually pretty well-laid-out for those who do not want critiques, just appreciation. All they have to do is indicate in their thread title that they do not want criticism, and there they have it. Most people would respect that rule.
It is, however, when they fail to read the rules and indicate in their thread title that they do not want critiques that problems arise. Well-meaning critics visit their threads and try to extend help, more often than not through a bit of ego-bruising, and the offended poets rudely retaliate. This is where the flame wars start. Believe me, no one ever wins in those situations.
Well, what can we do? We are not some sort of Communist regime that hands out Little Red Books emblazoned with the title "Your Guide To This Forum (v. 2.0)" to all the newcomers. In an online system, rules are even more difficult to enforce than usual.
I suppose this is the point of everything: The OP/L is not strictly a workshop forum. However, there are many people here who would like to help you with your writing--maybe because they don't like a piece you put up and want to help you improve it as well as all your other future pieces, or because they see some raw, unharnessed potential in you and know you can still do better.
To the newbie poets who suck (Yes, you do): Please, before getting all dismissive and stuff, at least think about what the critic said. He/she may have (and more often than not, does) a firm basis on his/her critical words. Also, he/she is most probably only trying to help you.
Of course, you have the freedom to ignore it, to refuse the help. However, there's no need to be rude about it. A simple "No thank you" would suffice, then just walk away. Less hurt, less wasted time.
To the critics: If you really want to help, you are free to be honest--but make sure you don't turn off your audience. Even more logical people could go on the defensive if your tack gives them the impression that all you want is the destruction of their ego--which may be a necessary part of the process, but is not the end--and overlook the merits of what you want to say. Be honest, but do try to be polite. As Che said, we are dealing with people first, not just poets. People want manners. They want respect.
If you've done your best to help and still the user acts like a jerk, I highly suggest the following steps of action:
1)Try to break his/her ego with logical arguments. Ad hominem is ineffective. While this step sounds harsh, an overinflated ego stands in the way of rational judgment, and it is thus necessary to break it in order to make them see the light. If the author decides to calm down and apologize, then ask if he/she really wants to be helped. If the answer is yes, get a commitment and start over. If no, then leave without bitterness.
2)If unsuccessful with 1, then walk away. There may be other people who want your opinion, who want your help and are willing to take whatever you can dish out. Believe me, there are a good number of these people, those who read the rules, want critique and put CW or even CE in their title, and still get ignored. Focus your time and energies on them instead.
On a happier side note: I'm flying to China two days from now!
The rules are actually pretty well-laid-out for those who do not want critiques, just appreciation. All they have to do is indicate in their thread title that they do not want criticism, and there they have it. Most people would respect that rule.
It is, however, when they fail to read the rules and indicate in their thread title that they do not want critiques that problems arise. Well-meaning critics visit their threads and try to extend help, more often than not through a bit of ego-bruising, and the offended poets rudely retaliate. This is where the flame wars start. Believe me, no one ever wins in those situations.
Well, what can we do? We are not some sort of Communist regime that hands out Little Red Books emblazoned with the title "Your Guide To This Forum (v. 2.0)" to all the newcomers. In an online system, rules are even more difficult to enforce than usual.
I suppose this is the point of everything: The OP/L is not strictly a workshop forum. However, there are many people here who would like to help you with your writing--maybe because they don't like a piece you put up and want to help you improve it as well as all your other future pieces, or because they see some raw, unharnessed potential in you and know you can still do better.
To the newbie poets who suck (Yes, you do): Please, before getting all dismissive and stuff, at least think about what the critic said. He/she may have (and more often than not, does) a firm basis on his/her critical words. Also, he/she is most probably only trying to help you.
Of course, you have the freedom to ignore it, to refuse the help. However, there's no need to be rude about it. A simple "No thank you" would suffice, then just walk away. Less hurt, less wasted time.
To the critics: If you really want to help, you are free to be honest--but make sure you don't turn off your audience. Even more logical people could go on the defensive if your tack gives them the impression that all you want is the destruction of their ego--which may be a necessary part of the process, but is not the end--and overlook the merits of what you want to say. Be honest, but do try to be polite. As Che said, we are dealing with people first, not just poets. People want manners. They want respect.
If you've done your best to help and still the user acts like a jerk, I highly suggest the following steps of action:
1)Try to break his/her ego with logical arguments. Ad hominem is ineffective. While this step sounds harsh, an overinflated ego stands in the way of rational judgment, and it is thus necessary to break it in order to make them see the light. If the author decides to calm down and apologize, then ask if he/she really wants to be helped. If the answer is yes, get a commitment and start over. If no, then leave without bitterness.
2)If unsuccessful with 1, then walk away. There may be other people who want your opinion, who want your help and are willing to take whatever you can dish out. Believe me, there are a good number of these people, those who read the rules, want critique and put CW or even CE in their title, and still get ignored. Focus your time and energies on them instead.
On a happier side note: I'm flying to China two days from now!
