Responding to a Critique
First and foremost, you are not your poetry. The vast majority, if not all, of the people replying to your poem don't even know you, so it's highly unlikely they have any sort of grudge or dislike
you. They are reacting only to your writing -- and only to the particular piece of writing in front of them at that specific moment.
PMs
Avoid PMs filled with flames and offensive language. These are insulting to the person who took their time to help you, and may well end in you being reported. It's actually best to avoid PMs at all except to ask for clarification of a point -- and even then, it can be done on the post itself instead.
Do remember that PMs can be copy/pasted and shared as well, and that such flames tend to be open to mocking -- and even if not mocked, they're unlikely to make anyone else want to give you their time and attention.
Constructive Response to Criticism
Feel free to respond with something constructive in return, such as, "oh, I was trying for this effect" or "I was trying to enhance the imagery in the first stanza", or any other simple explanation of your intent. This will possibly even bring you more specific helpful input, such as a suggestion of a way to improve the poem while still working it in.
Irrelevant Arguments
This really boils down to: defend the poetry, not yourself.
Your life situation has nothing to do with your poetry. It won't be made any better or worse by the fact you burned the toast this morning, are suffering depression, or your boyfriend left you and shot your dog just before the nuclear war hit. None of that has
anything to do with your writing.
If you've written better poems, it's -- oh, wait. It makes no difference. Your readers are looking at
this poem. If you do have better, feel free to share those, too, of course - but it still doesn't change anything about the one in front of us, whether for the better or worse.
In the same way, it doesn't change a word in your poem if you wrote it in five minutes or five years; terrible and wonderful poems have both been written in amazingly short or long periods of time. Defending a piece by mentioning it was written quickly is not only irrelevant but makes the reader question why you aren't willing to defend the
poem and may tacitly acknowledge that you, too, find it lacking.
Never stand on 'credentials'. We don't care if you won your third grade spelling bee, knew a great poet, are published, attend a prestigious university, have a degree, or wrote all Shakespeare's plays for him. We care about the quality of the writing in front of us. It should show us your talent by itself. For one thing, it's easy to lie on the internet. As an aside,
poetry.com is a scam designed to make money. Many people will feel compelled to mock you if this is your credential.
Comments about age also have nothing to do with the
writing. If the person has a solid knowledge base and ability to work from, it doesn't matter if they're five or ninety-five. Excellent and terrible poets cross the entire age span.
The critic's own writing ability
also, remarkably, doesn't change a single word
written in the poem. If they have a solid enough grasp of poetry that their comments are thoughtful and insightful, their own writing does likely reflect that -- and even if it doesn't, there may be a lot to learn from them.
Someone else liking a poem also doesn't change a single word in it -- even if they're your mentor, another critic, or the national poet laureate. For that matter, the critic providing feedback may like the poem quite a bit even if they see a lot within it that needs revision.
Why Is This Rude?
Responding dismissively -- or worse, in a confrontational manner -- to a (thoughtful, detailed) critique thumbs your nose at the time and effort the commenter has put into it.
Example:
Good Idea
Thank you very much. I'm not sure I agree with some bits of that, but I'll definitely look into it all.
Bad Idea
I QUIT!!!!!! You win. Goodbye. I asked for critasizm. You gae it too me. Now you have dashed my spirit. I wanted to get some nice constructive stuff. the first one was BLOWN OF THE MAP! Not there anymore. I am sorry GOODBYE GAIA!!!!!!
Bad Idea
I sincerely hope you choke on vomit and die in your sleep you festering hole in a codpiece.
