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Queen r3b3l's avatar

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had to break are heart today first i gatherd my fears and held in my tears lying on the floor dieng of a broken heart screams heard through the walls but no one comes to answer he smiles as i tell him goodbye and i continue to sit there and cry
Queen celest
had to break are heart today first i gatherd my fears and held in my tears lying on the floor dieng of a broken heart screams heard through the walls but no one comes to answer he smiles as i tell him goodbye and i continue to sit there and cry
line breaks would be useful. also, you could use a little more imagery and literary devices and a little less telling.
Queen r3b3l's avatar

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2pound
Queen celest
had to break are heart today first i gatherd my fears and held in my tears lying on the floor dieng of a broken heart screams heard through the walls but no one comes to answer he smiles as i tell him goodbye and i continue to sit there and cry
line breaks would be useful. also, you could use a little more imagery and literary devices and a little less telling.
this was the first bit of poetry i did so thanks for the tips
Queen celest
2pound
Queen celest
had to break are heart today first i gatherd my fears and held in my tears lying on the floor dieng of a broken heart screams heard through the walls but no one comes to answer he smiles as i tell him goodbye and i continue to sit there and cry
line breaks would be useful. also, you could use a little more imagery and literary devices and a little less telling.
this was the first bit of poetry i did so thanks for the tips
are you planning on editing?
Queen r3b3l's avatar

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7,100 Points
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2pound
Queen celest
2pound
Queen celest
had to break are heart today first i gatherd my fears and held in my tears lying on the floor dieng of a broken heart screams heard through the walls but no one comes to answer he smiles as i tell him goodbye and i continue to sit there and cry
line breaks would be useful. also, you could use a little more imagery and literary devices and a little less telling.
this was the first bit of poetry i did so thanks for the tips
are you planning on editing?
i dont know maybe
Queen celest
2pound
Queen celest
2pound
Queen celest
had to break are heart today first i gatherd my fears and held in my tears lying on the floor dieng of a broken heart screams heard through the walls but no one comes to answer he smiles as i tell him goodbye and i continue to sit there and cry
line breaks would be useful. also, you could use a little more imagery and literary devices and a little less telling.
this was the first bit of poetry i did so thanks for the tips
are you planning on editing?
i dont know maybe
well, if you need to some help, do not hesitate to ask; i'm here to help you. even if my posts take a while or may be huge, i can help you grow as a poet.
Mini Chew's avatar

Invisible Conversationalist

Who is opening Mike up?
like i'll explode and fall in love with everyone
I hate everyone.
Bachelor Party's avatar

Profitable Lover

8,350 Points
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My life is s**t.
I'm a worthless stoner.
I need a car.
I want a new job.
I'm ugly.
My girlfriend's a b***h.
My sister's a whore.
Her boyfriend's an a**.
My roomate whines.
I need to stop drinking.
But I really like Gin.
And Rum.
And wine.
And Vodka.
I woke up at ******** 6 in the afternoon, what the hell.
My friend got a DUI. AGAIN. And I told the idiot to stay his a** at willy's apartment.
I'm friends with idiots.
Cops are assholes.
Queen r3b3l's avatar

Desirable Lunatic

7,100 Points
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Tripping on Triumph
My life is s**t.
I'm a worthless stoner.
I need a car.
I want a new job.
I'm ugly.
My girlfriend's a b***h.
My sister's a whore.
Her boyfriend's an a**.
My roomate whines.
I need to stop drinking.
But I really like Gin.
And Rum.
And wine.
And Vodka.
I woke up at ******** 6 in the afternoon, what the hell.
My friend got a DUI. AGAIN. And I told the idiot to stay his a** at willy's apartment.
I'm friends with idiots.
Cops are assholes.

AWWW i bet nun of dose things are true ^^
XX Ahna XX's avatar

Desirable Conversationalist

6,450 Points
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Human nature.
One of our excuses.
We like to strive towards perfection.
But when not if, we fail,
Instead of accepting it,
We put the blame on being what we are.
Only human.

The word human is putting limits on us,
Drowning us in our own little rules.
Aren't rules made to be broken?
Can we not challenge authority?

What happened to reaching for the stars?
Must we be labeled as yet another thing?
Tattoo human on my forehead,
And organize me the way you plan.
I can't do anything.

I accept failure.
It's just human nature
Rarurie's avatar

Dapper Bloodsucker

XX Ahna XX


And that inspires me to write the version two of this :3

It's just human nature
Wasting things worth to consider
Sinking all things inhumane
Pouring lives down the drain

Isn't nature who brought us life
She gave , she granted us wealthy might
Forgetting her kisses, twisting her waist
This is us , our human traits

Sometimes , It feels to wear our skin
Tearful sear, tasteful sin
Reaching the star , too far for eyes
Without realizing ...
... who we left behind

-------------

Today I took a break and relax at a quiet swimming pool I spared a look at the sky nowadays... it's isn't blue like it always looked like It's darker, grayer and yeah, I think you know why emotion_8c
It's hard to be proud
when you're locked in your room.
It's hard to be happy
when the flowers won't bloom.

I can't find the friends
who would know what to say
when my body turns to wood
and my smile goes away.

The hiss of cruel words
echo in my head like a song
and drown out that small hope
that I really do belong.

- Amongst my growing anxiety and depression I managed to have two wonderful days, but it seems impossible to remember that when hate is more constant. :/
Queen r3b3l's avatar

Desirable Lunatic

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Let thys wings encase you for no other has such purity lets thys wings hold you protect you love you and nurish you for no other is as pure as thy angel

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