Olio (( CC = spare some mister x.x))

[The rebel prince!]

Any CC or comments would be lovely, thanks heart

I feel like the whole thing is rubbish, that it is a cliche, its my deepest feelings, maybeh too raw heart

Olio


Her familiar face
dancing all night
on watercolor

cascading caramel
heathered eyes
---off my head

in my own place
odd; uncommon

can you feel off beat
that rhythm
stopping for her

many slow hands
waving fro
--- greeting of hers

into something lovely
a clockwork flower?

unprepared; scared
to let vowels slip
---spill all over

toss, turn, toss, turn
tolerating a turbine

swam up that hill
what a thing to do
some dead name as cabal

lottery to see
her polyphonic eyes
broadcasting into me

[Rabotorgovetsborgo]

that's a nice poem

[The rebel prince!]

any reasons why x.x


heart

[Silcis]

Beautiful_Day

Any CC or comments would be lovely, thanks heart

I feel like the whole thing is rubbish, that it is a cliche, its my deepest feelings, maybeh too raw heart

Olio


Her familiar face
dancing all night
on watercolor

cascading caramel
heathered eyes
---off my head

in my own place
odd; uncommon

can you feel off beat
that rhythm
stopping for her

many slow hands
waving fro
--- greeting of hers

into something lovely
a clockwork flower?

unprepared; scared
to let vowels slip
---spill all over

toss, turn, toss, turn
tolerating a turbine

swam up that hill
what a thing to do
some dead name as cabal

lottery to see
her polyphonic eyes
broadcasting into me

awesome, finally a love poem with some diversity instead of the annoying conformists. ( stare I'll get you...) It's a little bit unflowing, try to make it less jagged by making things relate from line to line

[The rebel prince!]

Someone gave me CC

SWEET JEBUS


x.x


thank you, yeah I do need to work on that stuff.

I wonder what will happen when she reads it gonk heart

[Silcis]

Beautiful_Day

Someone gave me CC

SWEET JEBUS


x.x


thank you, yeah I do need to work on that stuff.

I wonder what will happen when she reads it gonk heart

she'll love it heart let me tell you something, if a girl even slightly likes you, even as just a friend, poetry is the ultimate flattery. (At least when it comes to me)

[Silcis]

and PLEASE come say something about my poem, no one will seem to EVER cc on my poetry! under the topic titles "a poem that's not depressing (whoa!)"

[The rebel prince!]

Give the whore what it wants surprised

[The last Decepticon]

Beautiful_Day

Give the whore what it wants surprised

Whore?
LMMFAO!!!!!!!
The forum hasn't died yet, I see.

[gastronomic cannibalism]

It needs more meat; more connection and definition.

[The rebel prince!]

zero the last decepticon

Beautiful_Day

Give the whore what it wants surprised

Whore?
LMMFAO!!!!!!!
The forum hasn't died yet, I see.

yeah, I am really getting sick of these emo kids gonk

[The rebel prince!]

baggage of the past

It needs more meat; more connection and definition.

tanks joo

I so stupid in the head gonk

[The rebel prince!]

gonk

[The last Decepticon]

Beautiful_Day

zero the last decepticon

Beautiful_Day

Give the whore what it wants surprised

Whore?
LMMFAO!!!!!!!
The forum hasn't died yet, I see.

yeah, I am really getting sick of these emo kids gonk

Get used to it.
Life is full of little problems like that.
Treat them like bugs to be squarshed. wink