My Song~ Tips Welcome

[Vdoom]

So this is a song i am working on, it's a little dark because it surrounds death. Please rate this song on a scale of 1-10 and leave comments on whether you liked it or if there's anything that can be changed. Thanks smile

The Grim Reaper

I'm standing on the side walk
I'm trying not to cry
I try so hard i can't talk
For if i do i'll die

My friend is staring up at me
Saying to be strong
I'm looking deep into her eyes
I know it won't be long

The grim reaper is coming for her
It won't take long till he is here
My friend stares up at me in wonder
While i shed a single tear

[Epicly Awesome Marine]

Vdoom

So this is a song i am working on, it's a little dark because it surrounds death. Please rate this song on a scale of 1-10 and leave comments on whether you liked it or if there's anything that can be changed. Thanks smile

The Grim Reaper

I'm standing on the side walk
I'm trying not to cry
I try so hard i can't talk
For if i do i'll die

My friend is staring up at me
Saying to be strong
I'm looking deep into her eyes
I know it won't be long

The grim reaper is coming for her
It won't take long till he is here
My friend stares up at me in wonder
While i shed a single tear

AWESOME!!!!! biggrin GOOD JOB!

[Vdoom]

Epicly Awesome Marine

Vdoom

So this is a song i am working on, it's a little dark because it surrounds death. Please rate this song on a scale of 1-10 and leave comments on whether you liked it or if there's anything that can be changed. Thanks smile

The Grim Reaper

I'm standing on the side walk
I'm trying not to cry
I try so hard i can't talk
For if i do i'll die

My friend is staring up at me
Saying to be strong
I'm looking deep into her eyes
I know it won't be long

The grim reaper is coming for her
It won't take long till he is here
My friend stares up at me in wonder
While i shed a single tear

AWESOME!!!!! biggrin GOOD JOB!

Thanks

[Epicly Awesome Marine]

Vdoom

Epicly Awesome Marine

Vdoom

So this is a song i am working on, it's a little dark because it surrounds death. Please rate this song on a scale of 1-10 and leave comments on whether you liked it or if there's anything that can be changed. Thanks smile

The Grim Reaper

I'm standing on the side walk
I'm trying not to cry
I try so hard i can't talk
For if i do i'll die

My friend is staring up at me
Saying to be strong
I'm looking deep into her eyes
I know it won't be long

The grim reaper is coming for her
It won't take long till he is here
My friend stares up at me in wonder
While i shed a single tear

AWESOME!!!!! biggrin GOOD JOB!

Thanks

Welcome!

[Capt_Phoenixrose]

perhaps in between each of the stanzas share a four line memory from the two friends it might be helpful to you, but honestly nice work like it smile

[Vdoom]

Capt_Phoenixrose

perhaps in between each of the stanzas share a four line memory from the two friends it might be helpful to you, but honestly nice work like it smile

Well, the friend mentioned, the girl, isn't real, but it could be real depending on what one of my friends decides to do with her life, the other person you talk about is the grim reaper. So there are memories, but not ones i would feel comfortable explaining.