My prose

[kitsunefandom]

This thread is created for my poetry. I don't write very much, but what I do write tends not to make much sense, and could use some outside perspective for editing purposes. So I'll post up here and take into account things like grammar, and meter. That I could definitely use some help with. Grammar Nazi's.... you are welcome here.

[kitsunefandom]

Here is the first one I will post up. Feedback and constructive criticism is appreciated. Please note that this work is always protected through copywright. This one is called "Coming to Terms"

In the darkness and the deep
I, alone, will stop to weep
Before the demons of my past
Dust to dust, Ash to ash

In my youth, it all made sense
A brilliant child, somewhat tense
Determined to right the wrongs of men
And not make their mistakes again

In the darkness and the deep
A fearsome, violent tiger sleeps
With teeth that shred and claws that break
The peace and balance I create

Will my demons overtake me?
Wreck the balance and forsake me?
All's to fear is fear itself
Though covered up upon the shelf

With toys and memories of a past
Of hate, and violence, impatience... wrath
But pretending that they are not there
Will never get me anywhere!

It's hard to walk the path of life
When your best guide makes fun of light
While jumping at the sound of death,
He runs away from every fight.

In the darkness and the deep
I, alone, struggle to keep
The lessons from my darkest past
While to the present, holding fast

Even so....

I refuse to give up!
I refuse to give in!
Surely the answer lies within.

I'll fight these demons on my own
Until I'm hollow or of bone.
I will never run away
From the the mockery people say
When I tell them of demons of my past
Or of a child, bold and rash
Learning these lessons all too fast...

In the darkness and the deep
I'll find my calling, though hard to reach
One step at a time, build brick by brick
Not throw mud on the wall to see what sticks

I'll find the light I'm looking for:
The peace and balance behind closed doors
Without burning my soul in a pit of fire
I will furnish my desire.

At least.... until I'm not alone.

[kitsunefandom]

bump

[kitsunefandom]

This one is short. It's written in the haiku format, though when translated into the proper Japanese it probably doesn't line up with the moira's. Still... thoughts are appreciated here. For those of you who don't know, a haiku is a poem of three lines, the first line containing 5 syllables (or moira), the second line containing 7, and the last one containing 5 again. It's supposed to convey a kind of "I saw, I felt, It's like this" kind of thinking. The shrodinger's cat is a physics dilema where a cat is used as a metaphor about the accuracy of some quantum physics. Being alive and dead at the same time inside of a box, you don't know until its opened. But if opening the box killed the cat... ect. But anyway, here is the poem:

Shrodinger's Cat
Neither here nor there.
Simple and complicated.
Never understood.