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THE PAST IS CATCHING UP TO ME


The pain that died within my heart, is coming to life again
I live with all that's regretted, and now i live in pain
His smile chases my heart each day,
His eyes watch my every move
His warmth and protection are at my fingertips
But in my world it's out of reach
Time is my enemy in every way...
Whatever I do is never enough...
I wear his heart around my neck,
In hope of another chance
But my greatest test is gaining his trust,
Where it means the most...
The past is catching up to me with every step i take...
Failing to prevail over my fears is not the only restraint...
But knowing HOW is the question to my fate...

~~written by: Kiernan D.
ME


my heart beats faster everyday
stresses felt ovewhelm me
just wanting to be alone
in my world i'm satisfied in my nirvana
my world is my way of letting go
i enter through my thoughts
some confusing
others angry
most just there

this is how i live my life
eyes shut tight
teeth clenched even tighter
body tense with fury
despite all the smiles and laughter
i'm another person
secluded from this world

looking for love and affection
i dwell in my past,
hoping for an answer.
visions and secrets fill my mind
passion and heartache are what hurt
family and friends depress me
creations are what capture me
i'm breaking down
i feel like deteriorating in thin air
but i regenerate with thoughts of others

i can't help it
i need to be me
no one knows the truth
of me that is hidden from the light
the light of others
no one knows what will truly shine
the truth reveals itself in due time...



~~~written by: Kiernan D.
Sixteen and on her own
Not by choice but life alone
In her mind she'll sit and wonder
How's it she sees light but only hears thunder
Opinions of others come and go
Opinions of hers are just for show

~~~Kiernan D.
THE OFF DAY!

body convulsions
rambling tongue
racing mind and soul

desperate cries are muffled
thoughts staying blocked
i hear voices, both warm and cold

worried eyes
embracing arms
what you do comes back three times fold

exhausted in time
pushing my limits
taking too much to heart, afraid of being bold

this was my off day
where I was the one to hold



~~~~Kiernan D.
Insomnia

Long nights
Oovercoming fears
Valuble expressions
Endless conversations

Young and nieve
Over-bearing parents
Understanding friends


~~~~Kiernan D.
MY EXISTENCE


i wish i weren't in existence
i wish you didn't notice me
i wish you couldn't care so much
but even though you do...
it's hard for me not to say...
I LOVE YOU...


~~~Kiernan D.
PHYSICAL ANGER

i want to bust the wall with my fist
or i could just slash my wrist
physical damage won't solve a thing
might as well bust her in the face wearing a ring
my family is forever broken apart
which is why i cling to another heart
this so-called home is a place of board
where people act one way but say another
hypocrits are all i see
sadly to say including me
i've made a promise to the ones i love
and plan to keep it till i'm in the "skies" above
i've tried the pills and i've tried to drink
i've tried the cigs but that wasn't the link
physical actions hurt who i love
this is why i wish i were a dove
you fly away cuz you're free
but can return to your favorite tree
no one controls you as on a lure
you're graceful and white symbolizing pure


~~~Kiernan D.
Cho mang. Those first two are teh secks. Probably cuz I relate to them so easily. Myuh. I would post mah shite, but its ******** up. I write it, read it, usually get hurt by my own writing, burn it, never think of it again. Oh well. I'll save one sometime.
8/31/04


all i've needed was someone to love me
all i've wanted was for someone to hold me
all i've shown was a secretive smile

everything has changed since i've known you
our bond and hearts have grown stronger
i used to feel invisible to the naked eye... but to you
i'm a shining star

just to think... not to long ago you were in the distance
and now you're the person who loves me
you're the person who holds me
you're the person who watches me glow

i finally have what i've needed
i finally have what i've wanted
i finally share more than a smile

this all happened when you took hold of my heart...



~~~Kiernan D.
JULY/"02"


alone, scared, barely breathing
i run and hide only to hear dreaded footsteps coming near
i cringe at the sound of his voice just outside my door
no where to run
no way to escape
the emotions i face deep down inside is the terror in my world
the angry words spilling forth from his mouth
make me confused, depressed, emotionally closed off
i scream and yell but am not heard
it is as if i am placed in a damp, dark place that no one knows
i bang kick and scream but nothing helps
hopeless, lost, all out of breath
my hands slowly slide down the wall as i crouch in the corner hugging my knees
trembling, for i know not when he returns
tears form and fall down my face
my hero has been stolen from this place
she is gone, and all that is left is the feeling of emptiness
dark and cramped, what's my world without light?


~~~Kiernan D.

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