morbid poem:: need advice

Was my poem good?????

Total Votes:

[ 0 ]

This poll closed on November 30, 2004.
No longer accepting new votes.

[warrior_gurl]

Just read the poem and give advice stare

Quote:

abandoned as a child
i fought for life
ive met many people
they only brought strife

*

I used to cry
when i was alone
dying helped my pain
now my tears have all dried up
my blood flows in the rain

*

the cut is deep
the knife is sharp
i drive it deeper still
my skin is pale i scream in pain
but i drive it deeper still

*

im drowning in my own red blood
it makes a puddle deep
i lift the knife above my neck
ready to feel relief
i bring it down gently
and slit my tender throat
as all my blood washes away
I write a final note-

"to all the people who are dying now, ill see you soon my dears, to all the people living free, who are not sheding a single tear"

[Rabotorgovetsborgo]

wow.. that's very well written~!

[Amara Snape]

The content is extremely well written, however, it needs some editing (capitilization, spelling..)