For the boy I love but not in love with

[Kawaii Lesbian]

I wrote a poem fro my best friend, Luis. And I wanted to see what you guys thought. My writing is awkward but bear with it please!




For Luis


“I loved every freckle.

I saw them like stars
.
Counted them slowly,

and tried to for reached them carefully.

I connected them into constellation traced with my fingers

You were my night sky.

The moons were in your eyes.

They were dark but they shined.

In this t i m e,

You are mine.”

[Kawaii Lesbian]

bump

[killermonkeymarquez]

This is cute. I like the way you described how you feel towards the boy. Sort of seems like little puppy love but in a way not being puppy love.

[LegionDee]

I find it interesting reading this that you say you are not in love with the subject, yet you refer to him as yours. Whilst I understand that all poetry is rife with metaphor this seems to directly contradict the title and the theme that you as the artist apply to it.

[Kawaii Lesbian]

killermonkeymarquez

This is cute. I like the way you described how you feel towards the boy. Sort of seems like little puppy love but in a way not being puppy love.

It's kinda like being loving with friendship whee

[Kawaii Lesbian]

LegionDee

I find it interesting reading this that you say you are not in love with the subject, yet you refer to him as yours. Whilst I understand that all poetry is rife with metaphor this seems to directly contradict the title and the theme that you as the artist apply to it.

Yeah, I had wrote this in mind that'll he'll be the only one to really get that when I say "mine" it isn't in romantic way. Most people often see us in that way together, but it isn't how we see ourselves. We are people who just happen to be comfortable with each other. 3nodding

[killermonkeymarquez]

Fancy Fvcks

killermonkeymarquez

This is cute. I like the way you described how you feel towards the boy. Sort of seems like little puppy love but in a way not being puppy love.

It's kinda like being loving with friendship whee

Yeah something like that. But a little different.

[wingedzion-trish]

If you plan on revising this, you might think about the celestial theme you have going on here, and using it to help make your statement about being friends who are comfortable together.
Also, I wonder why you spaced out time as you did? It didn't seem to add anything to the poem other than distraction. If you were more consistent with the spaces throughout the poem it might seem a little more purposeful.

Fancy Fvcks

I wrote a poem fro my best friend, Luis. And I wanted to see what you guys thought. My writing is awkward but bear with it please!




For Luis


“I loved every freckle.

I saw them like stars
.
Counted them slowly,

and tried to for reached them carefully.

I connected them into constellation traced with my fingers

You were my night sky.

The moons were in your eyes.

They were dark but they shined.

In this t i m e,

You are mine.”

[[NPC] VP Diedrich]

wingedzion-trish

If you plan on revising this, you might think about the celestial theme you have going on here, and using it to help make your statement about being friends who are comfortable together.
Also, I wonder why you spaced out time as you did? It didn't seem to add anything to the poem other than distraction. If you were more consistent with the spaces throughout the poem it might seem a little more purposeful.

Fancy Fvcks

I wrote a poem fro my best friend, Luis. And I wanted to see what you guys thought. My writing is awkward but bear with it please!




For Luis


“I loved every freckle.

I saw them like stars
.
Counted them slowly,

and tried to for reached them carefully.

I connected them into constellation traced with my fingers

You were my night sky.

The moons were in your eyes.

They were dark but they shined.

In this t i m e,

You are mine.”

Did you know that if you took 19,256 birthday cards and shredded them then mixed them with glue you'd have a sticky pile of shredded cards? Hard to believe! Happy birthday to me! Bye!