Falling in my Sleep

[erocpop]

Italics means spoken or whispered.

It's a song about drugs
or dreaming.
I think.



Falling in my Sleep


You are made of porcelain,
harmonious in every way.
You'll find no way of giving up your mind.
They found me,
trumpet tones and brittle bones,
fingerless and no way home.
You only have to wait a little while.

What was your question to this answer?
I am here, but where am I,
and what do they think of us
to kill what we've been looking for?

When are you?
Ivy locks, linking clocks
Spewing years into a timeless box.
I'll see you in another lifetime.
How far now?
The ledge has rosen, tickles toes and
sends me for a ride.

I can feel my thoughts eroding.
Are you there inside my mind?
and what do you think of me
to kill what I've been looking for?

Can I sit on mushrooms
in the spring,
when roses reek of snow
and give me teeth
the tone of sleep?

Why can't I fall the way they do?
Drifting up and out of mind?
Nothing left for me,
and what do I think of you
to kill what you've been looking for?

wake up.

[erocpop]

bump I guess.

[Theory-Of-Xerosis]

"When are you?
Ivy locks, linking clocks
Spewing years into a timeless box."

Is an amazing line. Love the poem, great job biggrin
Syd.

[Aged Cherry Twizzlers]

What a c r e e p e r

Italics means spoken or whispered.

It's a song about drugs
or dreaming.
I think.



Falling in my Sleep


You are made of porcelain,
harmonious in every way.
You'll find no way of giving up your mind.
They found me,
trumpet tones and brittle bones, god this is gorgeous
fingerless and no way home.
You only have to wait a little while.

What was your question to this answer?
I am here, but where am I,
and what do they think of us
to kill what we've been looking for?

When are you?
Ivy locks, linking clocks
Spewing years into a timeless box. also a pretty image, and your rhymes read beautifully
I'll see you in another lifetime.
How far now?
The ledge has rosen,risen? tickles toes and this is a cool image
sends me for a ride.

I can feel my thoughts eroding.
Are you there inside my mind?
and what do you think of me
to kill what I've been looking for?

Can I sit on mushrooms
in the spring,
when roses reek of snow i like this image
and give me teeth
the tone of sleep?

Why can't I fall the way they do?
Drifting up and out of mind? so the whole mind thing seems to be a recurring issue in the poem, but i'm confused as to its significance. like, initially you say "you'll find no way of giving up your mind" and then "i can feel my thoughts eroding", so from not being able to lose your mind to losing your mind, and now in this line seeming to indicate you want to lose your mind but can't. so. i guess what i'm saying is i'm a bit lost, and some parts of this seem to contradict one another.
Nothing left for me,
and what do I think of you
to kill what you've been looking for?

wake up.

so, overall, i think you've got a knack for really beautiful imagery and language in places, as i noted throughout. but overall i was also super confused reading this. three times you present a variation on the "what do you think of me/ to kill what i've been looking for?" thing, so clearly it's important, but the nature of this importance is completely lost on me. who are the "they" that are mentioned several times? they seem sinister but that's about all i'm getting. what are you/i/they looking for, and why do you/i/they keep killing it? like, to some extent, i get that this is a poem about dreaming and losing your mind, and to that effect that it is chaotic and random and whatnot. but i for one would really like to see a little more cohesion and coherency in this piece, and maybe for you to expand on your imagery in places.