Eternal and Other Poems (Personal Poetry Dump)

[Culgirl7]

Erogenous Jones

The Girl I Love

At first, I read this on it's own, as how I wasn't able to listen to the song at first. Then, shortly after when I could play the song, and listening to that while re-reading.. Oh. My. Gosh. (I can't understand Japanese, either) So to me, those lyrics really DO fit with the song. The lyrics are absolutely beautiful. Being the hopeless romantic that I am, - which could just be clouding my judgement.. I still think it's fantastic work regardless - that nearly had me in tears. redface There's so much love and passion flowing right out of this, agh, I can't find the words to describe it. It's something I can see this as being one of those timeless classics that while every song from that era dies, this one still seems to survive. As for technical stuff, I can't provide any feedback there. I do love it just the way it is, with or without that exact song. Divine. smile

[Erogenous Jones]

TonicKayBomb7

Erogenous Jones

The Girl I Love

At first, I read this on it's own, as how I wasn't able to listen to the song at first. Then, shortly after when I could play the song, and listening to that while re-reading.. Oh. My. Gosh. (I can't understand Japanese, either) So to me, those lyrics really DO fit with the song. The lyrics are absolutely beautiful. Being the hopeless romantic that I am, - which could just be clouding my judgement.. I still think it's fantastic work regardless - that nearly had me in tears. redface There's so much love and passion flowing right out of this, agh, I can't find the words to describe it. It's something I can see this as being one of those timeless classics that while every song from that era dies, this one still seems to survive. As for technical stuff, I can't provide any feedback there. I do love it just the way it is, with or without that exact song. Divine. smile

Wow....
Thank you. smile
I'm pretty darned sure it's not as good as you make it out to be, but I don't think anyone would blame me for basking a little bit in that lovely assessment. heart
I still haven't found an instrumental only version of Hanagumori, so I haven't been able to try and put it to music, which means that I'm still tinkering with the lyric and trying to make it better.
Hopefully by the time I *have* found the music and finalized my version, it'll be worthy of perhaps *half* of your praise. smile
Thanks Kay! heart

[Erogenous Jones]

The problem with getting really excited by things is that you can lose sight of your own limits and start to believe you're capable of things you're really not. sweatdrop Still, even if it does end up with your dreams dashed into a pile of rubble, that giddy feeling you have when you're still high on the belief that you *can* do it, is worth the fall.
Or so I keep telling myself. wink

Icarus

Why is it when I think of you
I always lose my way?
How is it one so innocent
Can lead me so astray?

I look at you and I believe
Such sweet, seductive lies.
And eagerly, myself deceive.
Belief born in your eyes.

Inspired by you, I tried to soar
To join you where you flew
Ignoring all that came before
Forgetting I’m not you.

And so with waxen wings I leapt
Towards your warm embrace
Ignoring reason as it wept
I stepped out into space

My heartbeat pounding in my ears
I flapped with all my worth
My vision blurred by joyful tears
I plummeted to earth.

The last thing that my eyes beheld
Was you still high above
That countenance which had compelled
My base, unworthy love.

And now I lie, unmade, alone
The light you shone, grown faint.
I reap the harvest, pride has sewn
I die without complaint

For even though delusion’s lead
To raptures dream’s demise
I die content, for having tread
But briefly in your skies.

[Culgirl7]

Oh, I'm quite sure it will be worthy of ALL my praise still. You have quite a lovely way with words.

Erogenous Jones

Icarus

I really like this piece. I realized I use this style more than anything else, myself. (Something I am working on breaking out of to give myself more options.) Anyhoo, I like how you told this story; the message you're giving of how even though that moment of believing you're capable of things you're not can send you crashing, those few moments of that high are so worth it. In Icarus' case, supposedly, he crashed. However, that's not going to be in every case. Now and then, that false belief can actually be right. It's better to have believed than never believe at all and wonder, "What if?" Something I myself need to live by more often, and a lot of other people, too. Nice work, possibly one of my many favorites.

[Erogenous Jones]

TonicKayBomb7

Thanks Kay! biggrin
And you're quite right as well.
I like to say, "You can't win if you don't play" and "It's better to regret the things you've *done*, than the things you haven't".
This one came about as a result of my interactions with some creative people who do things I like to do, but do them so much better than me that's it can be depressing at times.
Still, I figure as long as I enjoy doing them, regardless of how my work stacks up against that of others, I still win. biggrin

[Ghost Doctor PhD]

Wow you guys are awesome

[Elder Brother]

Erogenous Jones

The problem with getting really excited by things is that you can lose sight of your own limits and start to believe you're capable of things you're really not. sweatdrop Still, even if it does end up with your dreams dashed into a pile of rubble, that giddy feeling you have when you're still high on the belief that you *can* do it, is worth the fall.
Or so I keep telling myself. wink

Icarus

Why is it when I think of you
I always lose my way?
How is it one so innocent
Can lead me so astray?

I look at you and I believe
Such sweet, seductive lies.
And eagerly, myself deceive.
Belief born in your eyes.

Inspired by you, I tried to soar
To join you where you flew
Ignoring all that came before
Forgetting I’m not you.

And so with waxen wings I leapt
Towards your warm embrace
Ignoring reason as it wept
I stepped out into space

My heartbeat pounding in my ears
I flapped with all my worth
My vision blurred by joyful tears
I plummeted to earth.

The last thing that my eyes beheld
Was you still high above
That countenance which had compelled
My base, unworthy love.

And now I lie, unmade, alone
The light you shone, grown faint.
I reap the harvest, pride has sewn
I die without complaint

For even though delusion’s lead
To raptures dream’s demise
I die content, for having tread
But briefly in your skies.

Can I use this as my new signature? It's now my new favorite poem!

[The Pandorica Opens]

Erogenous Jones

I had jotted down a list of your poetry to bring up upon leaving a comment; however, I soon realized that I had read all of your work, and that I loved the all. You have brightened my day with you work. I enjoy reading sad truths, you capture the essence of why living can hurt sometimes. I'm ranting, I apologize! You have a lot of talent kid biggrin

[Erogenous Jones]

Elder Brother

Thank you! You know how much I value your opinion, so the fact that you liked that enough to use it as a siggy piece is quite flattering.
Attach away. smile

[Erogenous Jones]

crimsontears2347

Thank you very much! smile I appreciate you not only taking the time to read my stuff, but also letting me know your opinion. smile

[Yiama]

Icarus....

It has left me with a feeling a sorrow that has an aftertaste of happiness. I can relate to it in numerous ways and oddly enough after reading it, it has left me with a smile on my face. My this one I must say has to be my favorite so far. I love the way it flows and your rhymes. ¡Buen trabajo señor!

[Erogenous Jones]

Yiama

Icarus....

It has left me with a feeling a sorrow that has an aftertaste of happiness. I can relate to it in numerous ways and oddly enough after reading it, it has left me with a smile on my face. My this one I must say has to be my favorite so far. I love the way it flows and your rhymes. ¡Buen trabajo señor!

Thanks Yiama! biggrin I'd call it "bittersweet" at best, but I'm glad it made you feel positive. smile
Thanks for reading and commenting. It's much appreciated. smile

[Yiama]

Erogenous Jones

Yiama

Icarus....

It has left me with a feeling a sorrow that has an aftertaste of happiness. I can relate to it in numerous ways and oddly enough after reading it, it has left me with a smile on my face. My this one I must say has to be my favorite so far. I love the way it flows and your rhymes. ¡Buen trabajo señor!

Thanks Yiama! biggrin I'd call it "bittersweet" at best, but I'm glad it made you feel positive. smile
Thanks for reading and commenting. It's much appreciated. smile

Your welcome. I always love to read your poetry and I leave a comment whenever I can. I suppose it could be called bittersweet, but i feel like that phrase is used too much so i put it in my own words hahaha.

on the side note: I love the Miku avi!!!!!! I love Miku in general too!

[Erogenous Jones]

Harukaze

You are young, you are free
You have worlds yet to see
You have dreams for the taking
Please don’t waste them on me.

You are joy, you are song
But I’ve known all along
Though I wish I could follow
Holding you would be wrong.

You are warmth, you are light
You are stars in the night
Feel your promise awaking
Spread your wings and take flight

You are love, you are life
You are joy born of strife
Healed a soul that was aching
But you can’t be my wife

Within you lie so many dreams while mine died long ago
And though I long to make them true, I know it can’t be so.
A shining future beckons you, so cast your gaze ahead
The world awaits for you alone, it’s time to cut this thread

Take my heart, take my love
But don’t let the memory of
All these things best forgotten
Spread your wings, rise above

Time to stand on your own
And accept that you have grown
You can’t stay here forever
Time to leave me alone

Turn away, leave me here
Forge ahead, conscience clear
Cast aside all that binds you
Shed for me not a tear

I’ve known joy, skies of blue
I’ve known love ever true
More than I dared to hope for
In these moments with you

I think we both knew from the start our paths led separate ways
The sun’s long set upon my life, while yours has yet to blaze.
I can’t be selfish anymore. It’s time to set you free.
Your life holds wonders to explore and they’d be lost with me.

You are young, you are free
You have worlds yet to see
You have dreams for the taking
Please don’t waste them on me.

You have dreams for the taking
Please don’t waste them on me.

[Erogenous Jones]

Another day I want to die, or curl up in a ball and cry
It’s just an ordinary day, so why is it I feel this way?
There’s nothing different, nothing’s changed.
Yet everything’s been rearranged
And what should bring a happy feeling
Just leaves me gutted… trembling… kneeling
Choking on the streaming tears
And cowering at unnamed fears.

I feel my hair stand up on end. Feel like I’d snap if forced to bend
I watch myself, with crawling skin, and cringe as once more it begins.
I blame my line, my chemistry, and pity those who deal with me
I want to sleep, but fear to dream, suppress the need to rage and scream.

Yet nothing’s different, nothing’s changed. Myself, my world, are just the same.
Or maybe that’s the cruelest lie, and maybe truth’s what I deny
Perhaps today’s a preview reel of how my future’s going to feel
And what I see is what I’ll get. I turn away from it.
And yet….

It’s there no matter where I turn. Immutable, the wages earned.
The pins and needles pierce my skin, like gossamer, abraded thin.
Too weak to fight, afraid to quit, yet desperate for an end to it
I wait for all to fall in place when I can finally erase
The fate that’s written on my page. The day I’ll walk to centre stage,
And steal what little yet remains. Direct the last, remove the chains.
And die with some small dignity, have maybe some remember me
As more than that which I’ve become,
Deranged, demented, dull and numb.

Don't panic...it's just a poem. wink