Don't Go

[Saorise93]

Stay at home lad,
Help me in the field,
The fate of Europe is already sealed,
Go back to the barn and grab the hoe,
Let real soldiers fight the foe,
The wailing of sirens, is that not enough?
Killing other men, that must be tough,
Here in Ireland you're safe with me,
Son, this is where you should be.
Your brother has left and we will not lose you,
This is a war to save the Jew,
You are are a coward, to leave your mother and I,
If you abandon me I will never say good bye,
Do I not plead enough to keep you here at my side?
Will being a soldier give you much pride?
Without your presence your mother will go mad
Please, stay at home and help me in the fields, young lad.

Father, I admire your pleas to make me stay,
I will leave home tomorrow at mid day,
I prefer a rifle, its a better fit,
I will march the roads in France moonlit,
Nothing with stop me when I see the whites of their eyes,
They will know where true strength lies,
I throw down my scythe, shovel, and hoe,
Off to England I will go,
I will be the best of the best,
And when I come home, medals will hang from my chest.

Go forth and never look back,
Roll up your blanket and rack,
Get out of my sight and never come home,
Pack your clothes, shoes, and comb,
You are of no help to us anymore,
Go, Get out! Go fight in the war!

I will be back in three years,
Wipe away all your tears,
A hero I will be,
I will be back soon, you'll see.

Based off a letter and events my great grandfather told me.

I am at no means a writer, I just saw it sitting in my drawer and remembered it from a while back. Looking for honest and constructive criticism. Cheers!

[BlooKittiKat]

Wow. biggrin This is good! I have written quite a lot, though I don't usually post it, and I'd say this this is great! Though, it is rather sad... how much have you written?

Emmy cat_whee
Amore cat_smile
Lulu cat_3nodding

[Saorise93]

BlooKittiKat

Wow. biggrin This is good! I have written quite a lot, though I don't usually post it, and I'd say this this is great! Though, it is rather sad... how much have you written?

Emmy cat_whee
Amore cat_smile
Lulu cat_3nodding

Honestly, I've written over 60 different poems. I mostly target war, suffering, praise, glory, love, and pride in my writings. I just look at a photo from World War II or something like that and make a story, then end up turning it into a poem. Thank you for the compliment, I usually just write them and stick in my drawer to my desk. Finally decided that I really wanted to share them with people. I mean, death is a natural occurrence and people die for many reasons. Most of my poetry is directed towards pride in my native country. I have about 6 or 7 other poems I've posted in the last 2 days or so. Going to post more, just need to edit and re-construct again. Some of my thoughts are a bit abstract and unorganized. confused

[BlooKittiKat]

When I look upon my friend, I see
Before my very eyes,
One who is, above all else,
Very kind and wise.

Dedicated to my best friend and brother, LEVI ATKINS, the science genius. cat_whee


That is an example of my poetry. Most of it isn't long, and most is dedicated to friends, learning, books, ect. I love school and my few friends. cat_razz

[Saorise93]

BlooKittiKat

When I look upon my friend, I see
Before my very eyes,
One who is, above all else,
Very kind and wise.

Dedicated to my best friend and brother, LEVI ATKINS, the science genius. cat_whee


That is an example of my poetry. Most of it isn't long, and most is dedicated to friends, learning, books, ect. I love school and my few friends. cat_razz

It's the quality or friends not quantity wink

Great work smile

The subject is all a matter of preference. Depends on the day too I guess. But, those are interesting subjects you write about

[BlooKittiKat]

Why should he
The woodpecker lone
Be the one
Whose pounding tone
Does drive all else away?
He does fit in
No matter what they think
If only he could
Be a mink!
Does he think, for driven alone is he.

That is from last year, I think. ...Not one of my happier subjects...actually, looking back, it looks kinda dumb. Darn. cat_stare

Emmy cat_whee
Amore cat_smile
Lulu cat_rofl

[Saorise93]

BlooKittiKat

Why should he
The woodpecker lone
Be the one
Whose pounding tone
Does drive all else away?
He does fit in
No matter what they think
If only he could
Be a mink!
Does he think, for driven alone is he.

That is from last year, I think. ...Not one of my happier subjects...actually, looking back, it looks kinda dumb. Darn. cat_stare

Emmy cat_whee
Amore cat_smile
Lulu cat_rofl

You can't say that it's dumb... Obviously those were your feelings at the time. That's basically calling yourself stupid, Lol. I like it. surprised

To me when I read it I can imagine a kid sitting in the corner of a classroom, alone. Almost to the point of everyone moving their desks away from him. In his mind though, he thinks to himself, if only he was something else, something that would keep them from going away from him. He's a good person and an individual who follows his own code of ethics, not to be swayed by peer pressure. Yes, he fits in, maybe as a human, but not as a student with the rest of the class because he thinks different and chooses to think on his own. Maybe people even make fun of him, for no apparent reason. He's quiet and a bit dark. He gets home and throws his booksack on the floor next to the door and walks upstairs with a big sigh of relief. Home. Somewhere he isn't judged, somewhere the people except him for being himself, and treat him well. He's always happy to be home, but he sometimes fears time. In fact, I think he dreads time. Time will bring him closer to the night. The night to the day, and during the day he's back off to school. He waits at the bus stop, and turns around in the morning seeing his mother wave to him with a smile on her face, but as the bus approaches his heart sinks and he runs back to his mother and gives her a hug. His heart is once again filled as he lets go of her and runs off to the bus. The kids all make fun of him on the bus, but he doesn't care. The only thing he has to show is a smile on his face. biggrin

That's what I think about when I read that wink

[BlooKittiKat]

Saorise93

BlooKittiKat

Why should he
The woodpecker lone
Be the one
Whose pounding tone
Does drive all else away?
He does fit in
No matter what they think
If only he could
Be a mink!
Does he think, for driven alone is he.

That is from last year, I think. ...Not one of my happier subjects...actually, looking back, it looks kinda dumb. Darn. cat_stare

Emmy cat_whee
Amore cat_smile
Lulu cat_rofl

You can't say that it's dumb... Obviously those were your feelings at the time. That's basically calling yourself stupid, Lol. I like it. surprised

To me when I read it I can imagine a kid sitting in the corner of a classroom, alone. Almost to the point of everyone moving their desks away from him. In his mind though, he thinks to himself, if only he was something else, something that would keep them from going away from him. He's a good person and an individual who follows his own code of ethics, not to be swayed by peer pressure. Yes, he fits in, maybe as a human, but not as a student with the rest of the class because he thinks different and chooses to think on his own. Maybe people even make fun of him, for no apparent reason. He's quiet and a bit dark. He gets home and throws his booksack on the floor next to the door and walks upstairs with a big sigh of relief. Home. Somewhere he isn't judged, somewhere the people except him for being himself, and treat him well. He's always happy to be home, but he sometimes fears time. In fact, I think he dreads time. Time will bring him closer to the night. The night to the day, and during the day he's back off to school. He waits at the bus stop, and turns around in the morning seeing his mother wave to him with a smile on her face, but as the bus approaches his heart sinks and he runs back to his mother and gives her a hug. His heart is once again filled as he lets go of her and runs off to the bus. The kids all make fun of him on the bus, but he doesn't care. The only thing he has to show is a smile on his face. biggrin

That's what I think about when I read that wink

OH my GOSH! I was the hated kid....when I wrote that poem......Everyone used to despise me because I skipped a grade, was tiny, and had a huge puff of white hair on my head. Later on, I moved here, and my hair is curly brown, and nobody knows my past.......... 3nodding redface