A night so unfair, If only I could be as calm as you--
Resting softly upon my cherished thought,
Listening for the gently rising breath,
Suttle footstep upon my chilled wood floor,
Like the warming air the summer hath brought.
Eyes so dreary at their straining hour,
Purely misted in the descending dark,
Wishing for the dreaming tower,
Where only the spirit can mark--
Lying upon my rippled sheets of linen,
To let my mind drift near and far,
For ever leaving sense and matter,
To watch the constant evening star,
Though wanting never to awake from this dear haze,
Or remain attatched for ever to this tender night phase.
( I wrote this quickly a little while back. [; Just wanted thoughts.)
Two thumbs up!
The only line I thought was awkward was "Like the warming air the summer hath brought"; I think it's party the word "warming" and partly the word "hath". I think "thawing" or something might give a more specific feeling to that heat, but there are a bunch of two-syllable synonyms that would work too.
Hope that was helpful!