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- Posted: Wed, 26 Sep 2012 02:37:51 +0000
“I don’t know, Sweets, I think you could make me see stars if you kissed me like that again,” Jenique said, her arm still holding Rabbit next to her. s**t, it had been too long since she’d been next to someone like this.
Jenique couldn’t help laughing at Rabbit as she spoke. She was like one of those cartoon villains, twisting her mustache at the thought of playing with Christmas. Damn, she was a gem for sure. In the time since HQ, Jenique had grown rather fond of the pink pixie. She couldn’t help being a little hopeful that they went home together.
Jenique’s attention turned to the stage where he partner in crime was taking up the microphone. Well someone looked sobered up.
Before she’d gotten herself locked up, Jenique hadn’t known Rook long. Really she barely knew him at all but she felt as though she understood him. Kimiko had told her of his troubles with his mom and everything with his dad. The crooner had had a rough time of it.
For this, Jenique felt she understood him. She herself had a troubled past, starting with the death of her own father. Everything from smoking, to drinking, full circle to hard drugs. She’d done things she wasn’t proud of, things she’d never tell dear Rabbit about.
Jesus, what would she think of her if she knew about…everything? Jenique couldn’t imagine anyone wanting her upon finding out about her past. She was damaged goods, she couldn’t really blame them.
As she listened to Rook sing, it felt almost like it was someone else. Someone berating her.
Were you born to resist or be abused?
Damn, that line hit hard. Her mood was suddenly changing. She could feel her heartache as she thought of the only person that would ever say that to her. She hadn’t seen him in so long. What would he think of her if he saw her today? Of how she’d allowed herself to be treated.
“I gotta get outa here,” she said getting up from the booth. She didn’t want Rabbit to see her cry, it showed weakness and she just couldn’t have it.
She walked around with this persona of someone that didn’t give a ********. Someone that was proud of who she was and didn’t care what anyone thought of her. But now she was calling all of that into question. How could she be proud of herself? She’d allowed her child to be taken from her, gotten herself into an abusive relationship, and landed herself in prison.
Who was she?
[********] she said reaching the backdoor of White Noise and slamming herself against the cold wall.
Looking up into the smokey colored sky, she watched the snow fall, trying to make the tears stop. Now her mind was wandering. Wayan, god, she missed him. What she wouldn’t give to have him here. He wouldn’t think she was weak…..hell if he was here she would be somewhat whole. Ever since he’d been locked up, she’d been a little off kilter. Then again, when he’d been thrown in prison, she was 16 and very pregnant.
Some wondered why she hated her brother so much, and that was why. He’d been the one that turned Wayan in. She was 16 but he was 21. So now he was serving time for “Sexual Misconduct with a minor” and Jenique was alone. Jocef was the reason that her family was broken, the reason her family didn’t exist anymore.
“How the ******** did I get here?” she said walking back from the wall, wrapping her arms around herself. She reminded herself to punch Rook later for singing a song that made her feel like this.
She needed a drink, many in fact. She just wanted to forget right now. She wanted to hide inside a bottle of Vodka until she didn’t know her own name. The bottle-blue female couldn’t bring herself to go back inside yet. She wanted to stay out here a bit longer, just to get rid of the tear tracks on her face.