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anbu_ninja_penguin's avatar

Generous Mage

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sweatdrop This is my first time Participating but I thought I'd give it a try. I'm stumped on this one part of my story. I'm having my character eat breakfast and it's written in first person. The rest of the story is going well but this seen for some reason seems a bit repetitive to me. so can I have hints on how to do a sequence of events (that happens within seconds of one another) without is seeming either repetitive or, for lack of a better discription, reportish (as it first I did this, then I did that, finally I ended with this)
What's the purpose of the scene?

You should always ask yourself that question.

If it doesn't provide

a) character development
b) plot advancement
c) world building
d) comic relief

Then just cut the scene.

If it is necessary, then practice the process of clipping sentences, removing non-specific verbs and nouns, and excess adjectives and adverbs.
Rilech's avatar

-PokEdsie-'s Husband

Pierced Prophet

          Unless the character has something important happening during the breakfast (ex: coming to some revaluation, a new event sparking, plot twist, important social interaction that reveals more about one or more of the characters) there is no point of it being there.

          Just having the character eat breakfast for the sake of eating breakfast would not only be dull as well as repetitive, but it would bog your story down to the point that it could risk losing writers.

          Focus less on the meal and more and more on what is going on that makes that meal worth writing.

          Snap! Not I'm the one being repetitive.

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