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Noryoku Kiyama's avatar

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Nose-bleed happened after reading those high quote towers.
Urgh.
r e d L 0 B S T 3 R
I am debating whether or not to do this, so right now I am just kind of... dilly-dallying about. XD
But my problem right now is a sentence.

"And so he began walking, leaving behind a trail of confusion, mystery and a plethora of assumptions that were ready to be made. "

Does anyone see something wrong with it like me, and therefore a possible solution? Or does it look fine? /dies


Pardon me if I get over-critical.. Not trying to.. but here we go.

Firstly, I wouldn't start a sentence with 'and'.

Secondly, plethora isn't really.. used correctly in the sentence.. Plethora technically means "too many" and I'm not sure but I don't think it is what you are going for.

Also, I think this sounds like a tagline.. Something an advertiser would write on the back of a book to get someone excited about it.. It really doesn't sound like an actual sentence from a book.
boyamiconfuzed
AndreaHarper


The worst part was they had the 'decomposing corpse' full body pose from Death Whisper on. Someone else in the thread actually pointed out it was impossible to determine the gender of an avatar wearing that.

There's absolutely nothing wrong with being morbid. It makes you more interesting.

...I am procrastinating so hard right now.


*laughs*

Join the club.

One of my RL friends calls me her little ray of sunshine because I keep coming up to her in the mornings and telling her how to kill people.
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r e d L 0 B S T 3 R
I am debating whether or not to do this, so right now I am just kind of... dilly-dallying about. XD
But my problem right now is a sentence.

"And so he began walking, leaving behind a trail of confusion, mystery and a plethora of assumptions that were ready to be made. "

Does anyone see something wrong with it like me, and therefore a possible solution? Or does it look fine? /dies
Chop off everything after assumptions.... I think it sounds 'cute/good' that way.

Don't you just love those turns of phrase that take over your _whole_ life_ until they're satisfied whit themselves? Like a piece of dialogue that you just _have_ to shove in some where <--My main issue.

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