"Through some unplanned quirk, we shared our pre-lunch class with Jen, and the three of us migrated toward each other like blackberry pie and crisp white shirts."
My favorite quote is the following dialogue from two of my protagonists:
Jethro - " ... How do we move forward without dying?"
Christian - "We don't die."
Jethro - "Shut up, you ********. I'm trying to be serious!"
Christian - "I'm trying to piss you off. Look who's winning the war."
Here's the uncensored dialogue. Yes, the two of them have dirty mouths.
He moved his piece onto the manor. ‘That would be all your money and property thank you.’ I laughed hysterically. My brother gave me the look of death as he admitted defeat.
I don't generally use obscenities, but here's a bit I thought was possibly the only interesting thing that's happened thus far in my nano =.=:
He stepped closer to her and bent over to lean in, his lips parting for a kiss, her lips subconsciously parting as she leaned in to accept it—
Beep, beep, beep, the microwave sounded.
Cockblocking ********, Caleb cursed in head.
The eldest woman was the only one to meet our eyes. We could see the fear and sadness in those solemn eyes, yet that could never change anything. It could never change what had happened to us. It could never bring him back.
"Nights at Westbridge, they could be pretty quiet at times. In between the couple of muffled screams one would hear at night, it was so silent that one could hear a pin drop. The only thing that would surface would be the resonance of the frosty breeze, blowing through the prison bar windows and making the facility’s inhabitants shiver. It didn't matter what season it was, for some reason the temperature always dropped when the sky pulled over its navy blanket and the moon began its shift. The fact that it was Winter, well, made things worse."
My NaNo this year is Skins-esque, where I jump back and forth an ensemble of characters. It keeps things fresh. ^.^ Anyway, this was the beginning of a new chapter and a change of POV, and I'm really proud of this paragraph simply because it's setting the scene. Describing things has never been my strong point, whether it be in my writing or otherwise. So, I'm pleased with myself and this slither of my NaNo.
I bet that I got a few words wrong in context, but that's what editing is for! blaugh
I chose an entire paragraph, my favorite paragraph that I wrote today...perhaps my favorite...I'm not really sure, it was kind of the first that I read...but I liked it so I figured I would post it for you. I would greatly appreciate criticism.
"He turned around, carefully looking about his room as he stepped forward, carefully sliding his hand against the silken embroidery of his couch. He wore a designer onyx suit, that seemed to gleam in the soft glow of the room as he allowed himself to fall downward to the nurturing comfort of the soft couch below. Crossing his right leg over his left thigh as he laid back, relaxing his head against the comfortable couch cushions, carefully taking in the ambiance of the massive apartment. The furniture had calming colors, yet each and every aspect of the room clung to the slight tinge of modernity."
Eris is the boss of the much younger Milo and Amy. Milo blew up the stove at the beginning of my story, and over the course of the story has had adventures with Amy that got her in trouble with her dad, but nullified the trouble he was in for the kitchen. those adventures are related to a problem that Eris solved, but in a way that got her in very deep trouble with her superiors.
[Eris] stretched, then looked at the two kids and pulled a non- sequitur. “You two gotta be hungry.”
Milo was confused by it for a second, but then admitted he was with a grudging nod, as did Amy.
“We never did get that new stove in, did we?”
Milo shook his head like he was admitting to a crime, but Eris didn’t seem unhappy with that answer, instead smiling as her mind went for plan B with the smoothness of practice.
Milo felt one arm drape across his shoulders, and the other went across Amy’s. “Come on, maybe we can get some chow before Milo becomes the only one of us not grounded. I don’t know how much longer I’m going to have the base credit card, so we might as well use it while we can.” And the three marched off for the Diner.
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