Me and friend is writen a song. pls help me with ideas

[~slashed-dreamer~]

Well this is it sofar. it will be kindoff alternative/punk sung. i know it sounds all sopy and stuff but its NOT.

Broken heart:
I might look ok on the outside
but onside my heart is torn to pieces.
pieces that can never be put together.
together which we will never be.

so screw you, ill never need you
piss off, i dont wanna see u
get away ill be alright
my broken heart will be ok!

[~slashed-dreamer~]

this aint workin!!!!!

[arearearaeraeraeraeraer]

emma_wrocks

this aint workin!!!!!

no, it isn't. sorry.

[Christ or Hiroshima]

Try coming up with a melody first. That way, you can arrange the cadences to fit well with it. Also, try to keep away from the cliches. Come up with your own metaphors and the like. Your writing will be much better for it.

[seph-keno]

find a beat work from there sounds depressing add lower in depth chords and more bass btw sucky lyrics sorry thats not gonna work

[mistressakene]

Sorry man. A song needs rhythm. So do poems. Master one and the other should come naturally.

About the song though... that was terrible. Judging from the topic title, I'm guessing that you have no clue where an apostrophe goes or situations in which a comma should be used. That's important too. Punctuation is intonation for words.

[suicide_arc]

Neh. Don't listen to them. The easist way to write a song is going from words to a rhythm and then to a melody. Usually if you get a set of lyrics right you'll be able to set them to a melody immediately. It's just writing it down that's the hardest. Once you have the melody, you need to pick the key it's in, then just set out some chords and do counter melodies and a drum beat to that.