Theist versus Athiest convos

[Ni-Ni-kun]

//Edit: I do have some of my facts wrong so for those who corrected me thankyou ^_^
//Edit2: I got useful advice from two awesome members :3 you do not have to put more answers in mr. thread if you don't feel up to it. But if you do who am I to stop you.

For anyone who's atheist I do not mean to offend. I am a theist. My friend is an atheist. In fact one of my best friends was an atheist. Because she made me plenty happy. That aside this is not about a best ahtiest friend. The friend I am talking about was a theist who converted to an athiest. Maybe that's why I am hurt. But again it's not my life.

(This topic is about emotional management so if you don't agree with me, I believe you in advance! I just want to know how to not feel sad about certain things, and how not to hurt people's feelings)

I don't mind what religion you follow or what you believe as long as you're nice to me and respect mine, or at least respect me personally.

Which brings us to the main topic. I only have a problem with someone who believes in different things when the following happens. They start not respecting what I believe in. But as long as we're talking for instance about normal (topics), life etc etc. I am pretty cool and even best friend that person. If I force religion on someone, or they force their opinion on me, regardless of religion. Meaning if it's done in a way where someone says 'you're an idiot', it makes me super uncomfy. I often wonder if I am doing the same without noticing. I can totally listen to an opinion though if there are no insults going around D; And if I did the same in my article and contradicted myself I apologize .m. (I make mistakes too).

However the thing I can't help is get hurt when a friend starts saying what they believe in. This is not because I was told rules in a book, and refuse to be open minded >_> (As my friend claims, he doesn't understand that I've done research in order to believe what I believe today). I get hurt though emotionally when he tries to argue points. Like very depressed and sad v-v;


(Some of these points will not seem logical to you if you have a different mentality. But because of the way I am it might make me sad. So the following example of why I was hurt may not make sense to some and that's okay.)

E.g. He sent an article. We live in a different country it's not the US. Atheism is not common. Religion is the main, while atheism is the minority. Because of the internet though I am open minded, meaning I don't mind befriending people regardless. (Have done it, still do, even watch videos by atheists, though I am a theist). Problem is every time I argue with this person, or another person about varying opinions, I get hurt. (It's just the style they argue with). And I don't know how to deal with it. We don't argue to the 'non-friend zone' we're both adults and we have different views. I just don't know why I actually feel sad about it.

Person- God doesn't care about me.
Me- Don't say that D: (my opinion is maybe He might because I like to think optimistically)

I mean how should I know if God cares or not for sure. Who am I to judge yeah. It still hurts me when things like that are said .m. (I can't help it). Ofcourse since my friend is an atheist things like that are irrelevant for him. But even though I -know- it still hurts me regardless... I don't know why v-v;

Because I guess it's relevant to me, what I believe in, what I researched and am convinced by.

The main topic is not to vote on who's right or wrong. But how do I manage my emotions after these convos. I feel terribly depressed now. Maybe I even made my friend feel uncomfortable and I don't know it.

Basically they're trying to wipe atheism from my country, let's face it we're not the US. I told the dude he shouldn't worry ... he said I am not worried I am just showing you how stupid people are. .m.

There's another thing about my country. It's a third world country.. meaning there are lots and lots of illiterate people v-v;;; sadly very sadly! They kind of follow the herd because they can't think and reason on their own. They're illiterate and poor. So I said something stupid like maybe they're afraid that the people like that become athiest and everything falling to chaos. >_>

Because those people are illiterate and poor they can't go on the internet and read topics and form opinions... .m. like we do. So, I feel maybe I insulted my friend. I said the government is afraid of stupid people falling into atheism. But I didn't want to insult my friend as well v-v;
I am afraid he might have misunderstood me. Or his feelings got hurt. Not sure really if they did.

I think it takes a super smart person to be an atheist to start with. o-o Because they feel logic > religion and I see that point. o-o But with my country it's different *_*;;; we have total idiots forming 50% of the population. v-v; I don't think they'll handle atheism well D:

I don't know. I just hope I didn't hurt my friends feelings in saying this. How do I not feel sad when I talk to this person. And how do I know whether or not I hurt his feelings?

[Fermionic]

It is only reasonable to expect the respect of others for your beliefs if one's beliefs themselves are respectable.

[Lightning the Lulu]

Um, the US is overwhelmingly religious, most claiming to be Christians of some type. Comparing your country to the US as though they were somehow different in terms of non-belief being a minority is incorrect.

[Mea quidem sententia]

I'm confused, but I'm trying to make sense of what you wrote. You should be able to have a conversation with your friend about theism and atheism and be free to express your thoughts. Try to do so with tact or let him know that you don't mean to sound rude or arrogant. Try to put your words in a way that makes the conversation comfortable. Perhaps ask your friend to try doing the same, but to not be afraid of expressing what he wants. Otherwise, the two of you won't be true about what you're trying to express.

For example, I could tell a theist who might want me to believe in his or her god(s). I could explain that I was once a theist and I have come to accept that I do not believe in god(s) and my reason(s) for why I am non-theistic. I will still enjoy theological discussions and express my thoughts, as I have yesterday to two Christians. Try not to feel emotionally hurt. If you're feeling this way, the next time you do (or you can do it now), ask why you think you feel this way and ask yourself what you can do to resolve this.

I think any discussion should be enjoyable and that we should all try to think of discussion or argumentation not as winning, but as collaborating to come to the truth.

[Jumping Jehosaphat]

[Mik Laid]

I can see why it'd make you sad to see him say "God doesn't care about me", but really, you should try to not let it. If he's atheist, then it is irrelevant to him and even if you'd like to show him that God does love him, it may not be important to him anymore.

While the US may not have as many illiterate people, it does have its fair share of religious idiots and atheist idiots. I think it takes less mind power to be a religious person than an atheist as most of us are raised in religion and taught that from a young age, but regardless, we have way more religious than atheist.

I disagree that the government is afraid of stupid people falling into atheism. Atheism takes rejecting what most people believe. And for most people, they won't question it significantly because it was what they were taught.

In the end, you have to remind yourself that just because your friend doesn't hold your views doesn't mean it should effect you emotionally.

As I've learned, you cannot control other people's actions (or in this case, thoughts), but you can control your reaction.

[Ask Jappleack]

From arguing over the internet with perhaps dozens of strangers on belief, I must say their feleings are going to be hurt no matter how tactful I am, sometimes my feelings will get hurt, so I like to be very blunt these days. Its simple really, science has thousands of evidences, religion has none. Science has facts and studies for every single claim. Religion makes hundreds of claims and assumptions and uses like, maybe one questionable fact to try and validate all their other bullshit.
Its also simple that infinite religions oculd be created that differ, basically, infinite fictions as well, basically. Itd take an infinite amount of wasted time to refute claim after claim based on current facts, no, it is religion's job to prove it is legitimate.

Until they do, its absolute bullshit.