KTripleH
I was Christian first, then I was a Nilhist, then I was a cultist Yog-Sothoth, THEN I was obsessed with Tzeench. After I started to dislike the whole "God of betrayal" thing, I started to worship Chaos Undivided. I like Chaos. Chaos lets you be somewhat free.
follow your heart
heart
if you ask me ...
i think spirituality begins where the physical ends .. coz when i look at typical spiritual actions like rituals, prayers, singsong and trance, those actions themselves mostly dont hav a physical benefit like feeding a physical desire, stilling a hunger, improve health (the result/effect of a spiritual act can of course be a physical benefit, but not the action itself)
and a spiritual act always has an intent, a goal
so i think as a first step for you is to relax, disconnect a little from shallow drives, and listen deep into your heart and ask yourself .. what do YOU want ?
do you want to find metaphysical truth ? do you want to know what is the best ? do you want the best ? do you want to understand why stuff is happening ? find the intent of your spiritual act
i dont think its the best idea to trust into physical informationsources like books, texts, media ..
so maybe if you want to find your best spirituality dont search in physical stuff like books
design a spiritual action of your own style and find spiritual truth through a spiritual act
not a biased spiritual ''truth'' advertised by some bloodthirsty gods
a spiritual act that comes purely from you, driven by your heart, formed by your will, empowered by your soul
dont be a cultivated plant that stands obedient in line with the other cultivated plants waiting to be harvested and sorted by obedient and dangerous
be a gardener that decides what he wants to plant upon his existence
3nodding