A dilemma, maybe some advice can help me reach a decision...

[Peter Heke]

I wouldn't say i'm indecisive, or fickle, but after questioning my Christian roots all that while ago I burst out straight into neo-paganism, before dropping it all and floating about. I tried several times to grab hold of something, desperate to find a place.

I'm still in religious limbo.

I believe, true enough, but what I believe in I don't know. Trouble is the more I ponder over what to do the more I drift away. I can sense something out there just waiting to be taken hold of, but how to do so I have no clue.

Christianity seems so political, such a quagmire that I don't want to go into, and just like a vast amount of paganism seems so artificial. But the whole pagan feeling attracts me. Why should I have to light candle X, say word Y, stick herb Z in my pocket to prevent event WHATEVER?

Looking back on my previous religious expiriences I see my self as such a fool. Just check out my entry on Witches Voice, not that you could tell the difference between it and every other teen entry on the listings. stare

Everything seems to hold a faint drop of whatever i'm looking for, but even Donnie Darko holds more meaning to me. Not to say that DD doesen't have meaning, in fact its one of the only things i've encountered that reeks of truth and purpose.

I'd say it was one of few strings holding me to any faith, whether that be in my morality, beliefs or meaning. You might say i'm going mad.

Oddly the last time I posted anything similar to this an answer arrived, but no to this question. Charlotte has kept me hanging on throughout all this time, and for that I thank her. But for now at least, love is a savior rather than a purpose, and it is purpose which I seek. Which brings me onto this fine statement...

I need your help. stressed

I want to dive into religion, some sort of alternative/pagan faith, but not without knowing its the right one for me. But how do I know that? This is where you guys come in.

For my last paragraph I list the few things that make me me, the person who I am:

(In no particular order)

Love
Destiny
Music
Donnie Darko
Logic
Faith
Sleep (I'm not lazy, I just like sleeping)

As for your answers please don't say it'll come to me, because thats what its going to do now. I need advice, patience is not and has not been any solution. I'm not looking for an answer to my puzzle, just the first clue.

5 Across might do for a start. 9 letters. Ends in a t. xp

[maenad nuri]

well, what do you actually believe?

[Deoridhe]

Why do you want to dive in? Why do you imagine religion as a place to arrive at?

Personally, my religion began with a choice to worship certaind eities, but my experience has been that of a gradual journey that changed me and my understanding of these gods. There is no way that I could comprehend where I would be when I made that initial choice, and it took me six years of searching before I did.

What is it in you that wants a final answer now? What will that immediate answer bring you that seeking over time won't?

[Peter Heke]

Nuri

well, what do you actually believe?

I believe in destiny, and rhinoceros (Thank you for such wonderful, hopeful songs Mr. Corgan).

I beleive in some sort of spirit, maybe a god, maybe just us. Its not about deciding whether Jesus is real, Crowley was great or Vishnu likes peanuts, I believe in them all. Its more about whose on my side, cos i'm on everyones side.

[Peter Heke]

Deoridhe

Why do you want to dive in? Why do you imagine religion as a place to arrive at?

Personally, my religion began with a choice to worship certaind eities, but my experience has been that of a gradual journey that changed me and my understanding of these gods. There is no way that I could comprehend where I would be when I made that initial choice, and it took me six years of searching before I did.

What is it in you that wants a final answer now? What will that immediate answer bring you that seeking over time won't?

I just want a place to stand, somewhere form which I can begin to understand where i'm going. My expirience is and has been gradual, I just need a new place to start from, even if I still am being drip fed my life.

What made you choose your deities? Was it spare of the moment or did you think about who was best for you? I want to be drawn to something, rather than trawling through the internet finding out about what Selene does for a living. I don't want to think, just feel my way to soemthing. (Being serious there, not a euphamism)

[maenad nuri]

With that sort of answer, I don't think you are ready. I found my religion through research, and looking for information about the Gods is a religious experience in itself.

If you are looking for the quick and easy, don't look into serious paganism. Nothing is quick, easy or even painless.

[Tundaria]

I would never seek to question anything that you believe, but the first step I took on a very similar journey was to accept that you may never find this "eutopia" of religious answers and spiritual fulfilment. In fact this is very likely. No-one out there will ever hold every answer you seek, but the answers are there. Everyone holds a piece of a key to a door you haven't opened yet, and they will not show you this unless you seek it.

There is, and never will be one religion or cult that can guarantee you total satisfaction, and you should realise that in seeking your answers, you are seeking yourself. And nobody will ever know you as well as you do yourself. Live in the moment. Find your answers in every dawn you see, and everyone you talk to, for they are your world, and you need them. I know I do, it is my only way of life. I gave up dwelling on the past and future, and began to notice the present I was wasting dwelling on my time. And occasionally things seem a little dim and overwhelming, but I am happy that I am comfortable with my life. I cry a little and wake up fresh the next day.

So my advice to you is, don't feel you have to search for the answer to your life. Find you path, love yourself and remember what you have will always be yours. You'll have a better time in this life if you don't worry so much about the next. biggrin

[Peter Heke]

Nuri

With that sort of answer, I don't think you are ready. I found my religion through research, and looking for information about the Gods is a religious experience in itself.

If you are looking for the quick and easy, don't look into serious paganism. Nothing is quick, easy or even painless.

But why is that so right? It just seems like window shopping to me. I just can't see why reserching into a being is any true connection to them. I could read biographies about a person, but still not truely know them till I met them. All I want is a start, I don't care about how difficult it is, just knowing that its right for me is gratification enough to continue that relationship, that journey of discovery.

[bronzeyaak]

calm down, people now adays only use religion when they need it the most. so my advice is if you need guidence just read the new testament or talk to a priest or what ever they are all pritty much the same thing. Just take your life one step at atime, because what happens happens and there is nothing you or anyone can do to stop that. people need purpose and your purpose is to do what you have to do, give into insticts, drive a car, live your life. We all have a purpose we just see our selves needing something grander. I know im doing what i have to be doing and im fine with it, im not looking for god to smile down apon me saying i did well like some people hope, i just like to live so i do.

[maenad nuri]

Rood_Sepi

Nuri

With that sort of answer, I don't think you are ready. I found my religion through research, and looking for information about the Gods is a religious experience in itself.

If you are looking for the quick and easy, don't look into serious paganism. Nothing is quick, easy or even painless.

But why is that so right? It just seems like window shopping to me. I just can't see why reserching into a being is any true connection to them. I could read biographies about a person, but still not truely know them till I met them. All I want is a start, I don't care about how difficult it is, just knowing that its right for me is gratification enough to continue that relationship, that journey of discovery.

The search is part of the journey. It was several years before I found where I needed to start from, even with the research. I researched, until I got interested in something, and started from there.

Basically, you get what you put in. The more effort you put into reading (when I read the myths of Apollo or Dionysos, I got a connection) and opening your mind up, the more you get out.

[Tundaria]

bronzeyaak

calm down, people now adays only use religion when they need it the most. so my advice is if you need guidence just read the new testament or talk to a priest or what ever they are all pritty much the same thing. Just take your life one step at atime, because what happens happens and there is nothing you or anyone can do to stop that. people need purpose and your purpose is to do what you have to do, give into insticts, drive a car, live your life. We all have a purpose we just see our selves needing something grander. I know im doing what i have to be doing and im fine with it, im not looking for god to smile down apon me saying i did well like some people hope, i just like to live so i do.

Amen to that. 3nodding
We should learn to accept that what will come will come, no matter what. We should accept our lives as they are.

[Deoridhe]

Rood_Sepi

I just want a place to stand, somewhere form which I can begin to understand where i'm going. My expirience is and has been gradual, I just need a new place to start from, even if I still am being drip fed my life.

You have a place to stand; you just listed it above to Nuri. As for a place to go, no religion will give you that, though manipulative leaders might; anyone who tells you "go here" religiously is someone to be careful around.

I'm not sure why you don't want to start from where you stand right now, but since that is where you is, that is the only place to start from. You can't magically leap into someone else's shoes and start over anew with their life - it doesn't work that way.

Life feeds you with what you ask if for. Sometimes, being drip fed is the best choice - a flood would inundate and destroy, not educate and nourish. It all depends on what you're equipped to handle, both emotionally and psychologically.

Rood_Sepi

What made you choose your deities? Was it spare of the moment or did you think about who was best for you? I want to be drawn to something, rather than trawling through the internet finding out about what Selene does for a living. I don't want to think, just feel my way to soemthing. (Being serious there, not a euphamism)

Spur of the moment, you mean?

It was both a choice and not a choice. As a teenager, my genetic heritage became important to me because of how influential it was in the lives of my friends, so I sought in history for something to have faith in. I discovered the Norse and Celtic gods, there, and began to collect books and information on the modern worship of them. Somewhere in there, I had a personal vision of Odin within which he behaved toward me as kin would by feeding me. I chose to follow him after that.

He lead me to the Eddas, Sagas, my Kindred, and the runes. As each of these things began to influence me more and more, I shifted away from the dominant Western paradigm of the universe and into the Norse paradigm. From this new way of viewing myself and those around me, I began to make different choices, both ethically and religiously.

Interestingly, now that I feel more grounded in the new tradition, I am reaching out again into other traditions to understand the similarities and differences and know more fully how and why each tradition is different, rediscovering my own beliefs lit upon alien ones. It's a fascinating experience.

[Deoridhe]

Tundaria

bronzeyaak

calm down, people now adays only use religion when they need it the most. so my advice is if you need guidence just read the new testament or talk to a priest or what ever they are all pritty much the same thing. Just take your life one step at atime, because what happens happens and there is nothing you or anyone can do to stop that. people need purpose and your purpose is to do what you have to do, give into insticts, drive a car, live your life. We all have a purpose we just see our selves needing something grander. I know im doing what i have to be doing and im fine with it, im not looking for god to smile down apon me saying i did well like some people hope, i just like to live so i do.

Amen to that. 3nodding
We should learn to accept that what will come will come, no matter what. We should accept our lives as they are.

So... since some people chose to have religion be only a small part of their life, all people should be sometimes-Christians?

I'll stick with being an always-AsatruaR; thanks just the same.

[Greenling]

Well... for one, paganism doesn't always mean the sort of candle thing you're talking about. It doesn't really universally mean much of anything, any more than "all monotheistic religions, religious offshoots, pseudoreligious belief systems, agnostic systems, secular humanism and its associates, and Satanistic/Luciferian/demonist variants" does.

It's a freaking huge category, and if you really think you want to explore it, you really don't seem to have gone through it all yet. You've got lots more stuff you could pursue, if you wanted.

Orrr, since you're looking for new stuff to try, you could try looking at what you believe in, making a religion out of what you'd like your religion to be, and then if you really want to, seeing what-all's established that's close to that instead of the other way around. Or just keep with making your own. Best fit is just that.

If you believe in all of them, and none of them have so far come up and smacked you on the metaphorical head with their presence, then "window shopping" (as you put it) really is the best way to go. If you're looking for something to connect to, you have to find something that you can connect with without problems. If you want a path, it needs to be the sort of path you want to be on. If there's some place or some path you need to find, you're gonna find it eventually whether you search around or not.

[Psilan]

Rood_Sepi

I wouldn't say i'm indecisive, or fickle, but after questioning my Christian roots all that while ago I burst out straight into neo-paganism, before dropping it all and floating about. I tried several times to grab hold of something, desperate to find a place.

...

Christianity seems so political, such a quagmire that I don't want to go into, and just like a vast amount of paganism seems so artificial. But the whole pagan feeling attracts me. Why should I have to light candle X, say word Y, stick herb Z in my pocket to prevent event WHATEVER?

If you don't mind my asking, what about Christianity did you find lacking? You mention Christian politics - but I'm not sure what you mean by that. It could mean anything from the existence of the Christian Right as a political body to the local power struggles within your local congregation.

Quote:

For my last paragraph I list the few things that make me me, the person who I am:

(In no particular order)

Love
Destiny
Music
Donnie Darko
Logic
Faith
Sleep (I'm not lazy, I just like sleeping)

Um - I don't get the significance of Donnie Darko such that he's on the list. Yes, it was a great movie, but the more I watch the more I become convinced that it was so almost enitrely by accident. But that's for another forum.

As for the rest (well, excluding sleep) - it sounds a bit like Calvinism.