Contagious Cure
Blaming the jungler is just bad play. If you can't hold your lane without jungle assistance, it means you're a fail laner. Ganks are simply a bonus/luxury. Being ganked by the enemy jungler is also a part of being a fail laner. The only time I'd really call anyone a bad jungler is when they lose control of their own jungle (i.e. mega counter-jungled). If you don't know how to counter your own jungle being invaded, that's when you know you're a bad jungler.
The best/most skilled game I had was also the most boring. Every lane (both my side and the opposing side) warded extremely well so jungle ganks from both sides failed. Our jungle stole their buffs, their jungle stole our buffs. No one died until we forced a fight near dragon.
Actually... Ganks aren't a bonus nor a luxury. They're a must in high level play. Outside of that, however, they're also a must when there's a jungler in your team. Ganks can either aid the jungler that's fallen behind for whatever reason, aid the laner who's fallen behind for whatever reason, or simply put the lane at an advantage for the people coordinating the gank.
If you can't hold your lane, it means you either got counter-picked hard or that the other champion is just capable of harassing you better. Aside from that, they could be getting babysat by the enemy jungler or your team probably isn't calling mias. That doesn't mean you're a fail laner.
Myself, I tend to play very defensively and almost always remain near my turret so that my jungler can get ganks in if I'm playing top lane. Not only does it help him but it helps me push my lane back and get some free turret hits, maybe even take a shot at killing their jungler if they cover.
Also, you're not exactly a bad jungler if you lose control of your own jungle. There're many factors that revolve around being a jungler: jungle timers, picking up on the lanes' playstyles, picking up on the enemy jungler's style, and ganking, amongst others. Now, to avoid being a bad jungler, there's just one thing you need to do, and you need to do it well, which is gank, as that's the main purpose of junglers aside from securing buffs and major objectives.