Welcome to Gaia! ::

Gaia is like a delicious intergalactic buffet!
My impression? Okay, I'll do my "impression": "Hoo hoo hoo, look at me, I'm a stupid ape! Put me in a cage!"
Heh heh... yeah... tell those milk-suckling mammals who's boss.
Please ignore my rowdy brothers. Anyway, I believe that there are certain groups on Gaia that have the potential to affect major change for the better! For example, there's the GIB...
Huh? Did you say "glib"?
The geometry of Gaia is beautiful! So many triangles... wonderful, wonderful triangles.
Please tell the curious Gaians in the audience a little bit about Zurg, your home planet. We'd all like to know what it's like! How is it different from Gaia?
It is a beautiful place! Our sewer system is so advanced that you don't even have to go to the bathroom... the bathroom goes to you!
at home, we gureen. everyone gureen. like me.
Our technology is far beyond yours! Instead of primitive motorized vehicles, we have perfected a system whereby trained animals pull our conveyances along our roads!
Yes! Your primitive society has not yet achieved our greatest feat, the "EASY-TO-BAKE OVEN." Our ovens cook with warm light, and we can create delicious cupcakes in mere hours, using only pre-packaged mixes!
We have shaving razors with twelve blades! Your pathetic culture will never catch up to the smooth, baby-soft skin of the Zurg!
Mother, I understand that one of your sons, known as Number 9, has allegedly carried on an affair with a Gaian, and has since disappeared. Do have any idea where he is?
We are very worried about Number 9. We became concerned that he might have acted inappropriately with a Gaian, but he disappeared before he could be debriefed. If anybody has any information about his whereabouts, we would be eternally grateful if you would share your knowledge with us. We will gladly provide a lifetime supply of Zurg energy drink to anyone who can give us information leading to his safe return!
There is no Number 9 and there never was. End of story.

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