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maulie

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Post: 793_196 created on Wed, 05 Mar 2003 01:39:47 +0000
Posted: Wed, 05 Mar 2003 01:39:47 +0000

dear demon~

how do you know if a guy wants to be more than friends with you? i have a guy friend that all my other friends are convinced is after me romantically...but hes friends with both me and my bf. i don't think he is, and i don't understand why they would think this. then again i'm obvious to this kind of thing =P .

another question, i already asked this but no one had answered it: whats the right way to turn down a guy? how do you do it so you don't hurt his feelings? i've had to do it before, and i've always seemed to do the wrong thing =P .

thanks in advance!

Saiseki

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Post: 793_197 created on Wed, 05 Mar 2003 01:43:04 +0000
Posted: Wed, 05 Mar 2003 01:43:04 +0000

Dear Demon,
HELP ME!!!! I really love this guy, but just got out of a sensative relationship...with another guy. He keeps wanting his old boyfriend
but i'm always there for him. Then we started doing things together and
I said I loved him and he said he loved me but later he thinks I don't or something! What do I do if he keeps saying he's "On The Rebound"? I'm going nuts and I love him so much...

Amingo

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Post: 793_198 created on Wed, 05 Mar 2003 01:55:31 +0000
Posted: Wed, 05 Mar 2003 01:55:31 +0000

harro there ~ i just want to say that this is one of the most interesting topic of gaia ! 3nodding yes yes ! vewy vewy intewesting whee KEEP UP TEH GOOD WERK ! XD

Goldenavatar

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Post: 793_199 created on Wed, 05 Mar 2003 03:35:47 +0000
Posted: Wed, 05 Mar 2003 03:35:47 +0000

Saiseki

eek WHAT THE!?

sweatdrop Ok, ok, ok! Lemme get this straight, and correct me if I'm wrong. He's STILL in love with his BOYFRIEND?

blaugh I'm sorry, that's just too funny for words, but I guess I should be a bit serious before someone here gets offended. I take it you've known this guy for a while now, but have you considered that he might have withdrawn because he's still getting over the ex-boyfriend. And take a moment to ask yourself something, did you want him before or after you found he was dating guys?

Give him a little time and some space to get over the ex. Rushing from one relationship to another might do more harm then good in the long run. If after sometime he shows no renewed interest in you take it for what it is and stay friends. If he DOES show renewed interest in you however, go with the flow and have some fun, but if he leaves you for another guy don't get all surprised by it, ya know?

Goldenavatar

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Post: 793_200 created on Wed, 05 Mar 2003 04:05:02 +0000
Posted: Wed, 05 Mar 2003 04:05:02 +0000

maulie

If your BF and yourself are oblivious to this friends interest in you, it's probably not really there. So far the friend respects that thin line and hasn't done anything to make interacting with you both difficult, you're in the green with nothing to really worry about. But since he's got an interest in you that your OTHER friends find obvious you might want to be prepared to have a response should that day come and you're not interested.

As far as the turning guys down in a way that doesn't hurt, it doesn't exist. There's NO WAY to turn someone down, be them male of female, without them getting hurt in some small way. But I will tell you this, it's best to do it as soon as possible and not lead that person on. They ask you if you like them, if you don't say no, the optomist in the guy will assume that it's a maybe and keep going. No one needs that. Just take a deep breath, and say what you gotta say, "I'm sorry <insert RANDOM male name here>, but I just don't like you in that way."

sweatdrop BOOM! You've just shattered a human beings heart, BUT if they're strong they'll not dwell on it too long and seek companionship from someone else who will respond in kind. So, in response, you're damned if you do, damned if you don't.

The Demon

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Post: 793_201 created on Wed, 05 Mar 2003 06:59:07 +0000
Posted: Wed, 05 Mar 2003 06:59:07 +0000

GoldenAvatar,

Did you get darker? Well, thanks for the great answers to maulie and Saiseki. When posts are already well-answered, I will just chime in if I can slip in a demonic remark or two.

BTW, thanks for the props, everyone! I'm happy everyone is enjoying the thread. It's fun to do, and it's nice to help people =)

- The Demon

The Demon

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Post: 793_202 created on Wed, 05 Mar 2003 07:17:40 +0000
Posted: Wed, 05 Mar 2003 07:17:40 +0000

maulie

dear demon~

how do you know if a guy wants to be more than friends with you? i have a guy friend that all my other friends are convinced is after me romantically...but hes friends with both me and my bf. i don't think he is, and i don't understand why they would think this. then again i'm oblivious to this kind of thing =P .

another question, i already asked this but no one had answered it: whats the right way to turn down a guy? how do you do it so you don't hurt his feelings? i've had to do it before, and i've always seemed to do the wrong thing =P .

thanks in advance!

Dear Maulie,

Sorry about not replying - your question slipped through the cracks. GA is right: REJECTION ALWAYS SUX. You are crushing a dream. And if you break someone's heart that's also a friend, you need to give that guy space while he sorts out his pain. He may resent you a little bit, or have a phase of just being pathetic =( He needs to sort it out himself.

So about your friend who might like you. If you can't tell, you're gonna have to ask him =P "This is gonna sound silly, but are you in love with me?" Be prepared for drama if he says yes.

The easy answer tho, is to just ignore the whole thing. If he doesn't make advances at you, and you three are all happy, there's no reason to shake things up. In your case, just deal with it if something comes up =P

Just adding to GA's already solid advice.
- The Demon

SaphyreWingz

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Post: 793_203 created on Wed, 05 Mar 2003 08:37:15 +0000
Posted: Wed, 05 Mar 2003 08:37:15 +0000

Admin should assign The Demon as the psychological shrink of woman who come across problems with their "signifigant others," .... yeah or something like that. heart =P
Oh yes, noooo problems here. 3nodding

The Demon

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Post: 793_204 created on Wed, 05 Mar 2003 09:05:56 +0000
Posted: Wed, 05 Mar 2003 09:05:56 +0000

Saiseki

Hi Saiseki,

If a guy is telling you, "I'm on the rebound", he is saying that he feels guilty. Guilty because he's thinking about someone else when he's with sleeping with you. It's also a way to say, "this can end at anytime." That is because he feels unstable. Not a solid foundation for a healthy relationship.

GA had some good advice. Don't be in the middle of the storm as a gf. Be a friend and wait til he's done being hurt. Then talk about "being together". This is good, cuz as a friend, he can't hurt you as much as if you were a lover/gf.

Alternative advice: Not the greatest advice, but if you absolutely want to stay beside him as his girl. There are some things you can do.

You need be able to say to him, "I know you're thinking about someone else, but I don't want you to feel guilty when being with me, cause I understand."

You need to be able to say, "I also know you're not ready to be a my boyfriend, but I want to be with you anyways."

Those are the terms you'd have to accept while he heals from his heartache and handles his confusion. Then what? I don't know =/ Good luck to you.

- The Demon

venni

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Post: 793_205 created on Wed, 05 Mar 2003 11:19:44 +0000
Posted: Wed, 05 Mar 2003 11:19:44 +0000

venni

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Post: 793_206 created on Wed, 05 Mar 2003 11:27:37 +0000
Posted: Wed, 05 Mar 2003 11:27:37 +0000

The Demon

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Post: 793_207 created on Wed, 05 Mar 2003 11:35:06 +0000
Posted: Wed, 05 Mar 2003 11:35:06 +0000

Dear Readers,

I am taking a big break from this thread. Writing responses to posts is taking more time than I can spare. I need to get other important matters squared away right now.

I won't be answering any more boy questions for awhile. I'll be still around Gaia, just not in such an obligated capacity.

I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did! I'm glad to have made some new friends here as well =)

This my thread, signing off...

much luv,
The Demon twisted